Chapter 12
Alec
I cannot believe that Alice is taking us shopping. It's going to be horrible. I sat through the car ride without making a sound, and laughed as Alice claimed how great we would looked, and as Lexi and Nessie sang along with the radio. I don't hate any of them, but by the time the car ride was over I was just about ready to kill myself—if I could. I don't think I could listen to them sing another song. It's not that their voices are bad (well Lexi's is), it's just that the songs they sang along to were so annoying! Alice parked the car and practically had to drag me out of the car. I think the last time I was at a mall was over 10 years ago, and I didn't like it much. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm not a very social person.
When we walked into a large department store, Macy*s, all the employees seem to know Alice. Once we got in the store, Lexi lost her happiness.
"Alice…" she whined. I looked around the store, trying to find anything that Lexi would like, or something rarer—something I would like. I saw a brown star top, and as Alice walked away with Lexi, I walked over to look at it and Nessie went to pick out other clothes.
The top was something I knew Lexi would like. She loved the stars—that used to be our favorite form of entertainment.
"Are they coming soon?"
"I don't know Jane, but I'm sure they'll be here momentarily."
"Alec! Here they come!"
"Hey, sorry we're late, we had to sneak out," Lucy said as she lay next to Jane on the grass.
"It's fine."
Lexi came and laid between me and Lucy. Then we would point out our favorite stars and tell stories.
It was funny to remember how much we changed. We were all supposed to look at the stars the night Jane and I were taken to the stake to burn as witches, but I don't think about that. I glanced around and saw to more shirts that maybe we could force Lexi to wear—a blue shirt and a pretty purple top. I brought them over to Renesmee and held them up as she inspected them. She said they were okay, and went to take them from me. Our hands touched. Suddenly my mind was flooded with images that weren't mine. But they were of me. The confrontation in the field, when the Volturi had come to kill Renesmee. I stared into her chocolate-brown eyes, then turned and ran. Go on, call me a coward, call me whatever you want—I don't really care. I ran and stopped at a bench. It wasn't long before Nessie was sitting next to me.
"I'm not like that you know. Not all the time anyway," I said. "You have no idea how it is to be a part of the Volturi—it is the reason of our existence to enforce the laws. If we didn't, the world would be in chaos. We live by the rules. When Irina came to Aro with news of an immortal child, we knew what we had to do. Immortal children are way to powerful and unpredictable—they need to be gotten rid of. Even though Carlisle was an old friend, we could not show favoritism. We set out. I won't lie to you—Aro did want to see Edward and Alice as part of the guard members. But when we came to the field and saw that you weren't an immortal child, well….. no one knew what to do. Aro shouldn't have killed Irina, but truthfully, he was so confused, he did the only thing he could think of. Then, when Aro, Marcus, and Caius had their counsel, I did what was expected, what was procedure. My job was to make sure the ones on trial did not run away. That is pretty much the only thing I do—cut off all your senses. So I attempted to do that for those gathered in the field. But it didn't work. And then you weren't considered a danger and Carlisle was mad at us and then we left. And I bet when Alice saw Lexi and I arriving the whole house panicked, thinking I came to kill you all. I know you hate me, and I wish that you and your family could see that I am not a cruel and sadistic, and most of the time, neither is Jane, but you don't. I mean, most of the Volturi don't even know the real me. Really, only Jane, Felix, Lexi, and Lucy do."
I stopped and drew in my breath while she just sat there. I couldn't believe it. That was the most I have talked in centuries, certainly not about my feeling and my past. Those were two things that I kept buried deep inside me. She just looked at me as her phone buzzed—Alice. I got away from there as fast as I could, not meeting her eyes.
When we got back to Alice and Lexi, Lexi complained, but seemed happier. Alice said something about how much work she had to do on me, but I tuned her out. I turned and followed her as she walked away, not looking back at either Lexi or Nessie.
Alice kept me in the dressing room for what seemed like ages, but it was probably only about forty-five minutes. I got shirts and pants; I really didn't look at them as I dutifully tried them on.
Alice had us meet up with Lexi and Nessie later, but I barely joined in the conversations they had. Alice was raving to them how wonderful she was because she made me look good. She was half-kidding, half-serious. I just nodded and went along with what she said, lost in my thoughts. Did the Cullens still distrust me? Did they want to kill me? Or Lexi? Or were we forgiven? It was just too confusing to process, so I just decided to look at the shops in the mall and forget about it until later.