It was almost two years since Anders had moved in with Angelle. They had been happy, but the burden of keeping their relationship hidden was starting to strain on both of them. A few weeks ago they had a really bad day. Angelle had business with the Grand Cleric. There Sebastian had made a not to subtle remark about Angelle joining the Chantry in a chaste marriage. Anders had been in the Chantry and was furious. When Angelle tried to talk to him, later that evening it ended in a huge argument. To this day Angelle had no idea, why he was even there and didn't dare to ask in the fear they would argue again.
They had worked tirelessly on the proposal to the Divine. They had sent three different once already, but the Divine had never given any conclusive answer. Anders was beginning to lose hope. A Viscount had still not been appointed and despite Angelle's efforts, the templars kept pushing the mages. Angelle feared what would happen if something wasn't done soon, but she dared not confine in Anders, who was already showing signs of desperation.
It seemed that Justice had manifested himself more, but since she had never known "just Anders" it was hard for her to tell. He had talked about finding a way to be separated from Justice and she tried to support him. But somewhere in her heart she wondered if he would still be the man she loved, if he succeeded.
She was in the Chantry researching some of the early circle laws when Sebastian came running up to her.
"Is something the matter Sebastian?"
"The First Enchanter is overstepping his bounds. He is in the middle of the Hightown square rambling. If he is not stopped, he could cause a small riot."
"I'll go see if I can talk him down. Hopefully, before the Knight-commander hears of this."
When she arrived at the square it was already too late. Meredith had arrived and she was furious.
"Please, both of you. This is not the place for this discussion."
"Ah, seeker. Perhaps the people here would like to hear you opinion on the matter."
Orsino had in the past year tried pressure Hawke into openly supporting the mages. She wanted to, but as long as she was under orders from the Divine, she was forced to remain neutral.
"Please this fighting will have to stop. The way things are now you are the closest thing Kirkwall has to leaders. They need to believe you capable of maintaining order."
"The reason we don't have a proper ruler, is because the Knight-commander is stalling the process."
"I cannot be hold responsible for the fact that no one suitable has been represented." Meredith snapped.
"Perhaps it is unwise to come with such a statement in front of the nobles of this city. The sooner a new viscount has been appointed, the sooner this will pass."
It was hard for Angelle to remain this diplomatic, but thankfully the Grand Cleric arrived and separated them. An incident had been avoided this time.
"Thank you for stepping in, seeker." The grand cleric smiled.
"No need to thank me, but if this issue is not resolved soon it will not be the last incident."
"I fear you are right. A letter came for you from the Divine this morning. I will go to the Gallows. They will see reason if the Maker wills it."
Angelle hurried home with the letter, it was undoubtedly a reply to the latest proposal she had sent.
"Seeker Angelle Hawke,
I found your latest report very thorough and interesting. You have done exemplary work. I am sorry that this assignment was a much longer process than anticipated. Now that your work is done we will be glad to see you back in Orlais in a month. One of my personal agents will visit Kirkwall soon and you are expected to meet with her.
Since the changes are so much more extensive, we will start implementing some of them slowly in a period of thirty years. We will take all your suggestions under advisement, though not all will be implemented. "
Angelle couldn't go on reading. She felt her heart breaking. The changes she feared would not be implemented were the part about mages having families. And even if most of the suggestion were implemented, thirty years would be too long a process. It would not prevent the mages from rebelling now. And in thirty years there would be a new Divine and who was to say she would see the benefit in giving the mages more freedom.
If things even went as smoothly, as the Divine seemed to believe, Anders would likely not live to see it. Angelle and Anders would never be able to have a family or simply a life, were they didn't need to hide. And next month she would have to go back to Orlais. She would have to leave Anders and she would no longer be able to protect him from the templars. She heard the cellar door opening. Anders could not see this. It would be the final thing that would push him into despair. She would have to wait to show it to him until she had figured out their next step. She quickly hid the letter in the drawer.
"Oh, you're home. I heard about what happened at the square and wanted to see if you were alright."
"I'm fine, Anders. They were just arguing again. Nothing new about that, even if it was in a more public forum this time."
She tried to smile, but Anders seemed suspicious. He walked over to her, held his arms around her and kissed her.
"You don't seem fine, love. What's wrong? Has Meredith been hounding you again?"
"No. I'm fine. I'm just tired. Hold me will you?"
They stood there for a while. She didn't want to let go. She couldn't let him go. She took in his scent, his warmth and enjoyed nurseling her nose into his feathered coat. Then she began to wonder out loud.
"What if we just left? Travelled somewhere? Far away from all this dispute and secrecy."
"Where would we go?"
"We could go to Tevinter. We could get married and start a family."
"What would our livelihood be? I doubt we will be popular if we go around killing bloodmages and I am not exactly farmer material."
"I don't care what we do as long as we are together."
"Even if we did, we might not be able to get a family. You know that conceiving is difficult for a warden."
"There might be something they can do about it in Tevinter and maybe they can help you with Justice."
"Even so I can't leave. If we leave there will be no one to fight for mages rights. Too bring them justice... Where is all this coming from?"
"I'm just worried. The templars have become more determined in their search for apostates. I don't know how much longer I can keep you safe."
Anders gently held her chin and turned her head up to look at him.
"Don't despair for me, love. You are the most important thing in my life, but something's matter more than my life. More than either of us. I'm sorry."
"I know. I just don't want to lose you."
"I love you. Whatever happens I want you to know that."
"I love you too... Anders?"
"Yes, love?"
"Can we at least have an escape plan? Just in case?"
"If it will set your mind at ease."
That night Anders watched Angelle as she slept. He had never felt more distant from her. He felt like she was hiding something, but then again so was he. Soon he would set all mages free. He regretted that she would be alone. "She is strong. She will survive. When we are gone she will continue what we started. She will no longer be able to hide her from the world... she will no longer have to." He could hear the echo of Justice in his mind. Never aware if it was his own feelings or Justices, that his thoughts reflected. He regretted pulling her into this. Anders regretted that he no longer had the faith that she did, that mages could be set free peacefully. He kissed her by her ear as she slept and whispered.
"I wish we could stay like this forever, love."