Finding Fred

Chapter 2 – The Journey

Note to readers: I don't have a Beta, so any errors are mine and mine alone. Hope there aren't too many! I try to be careful.

Just playing with Ms. Meyer's characters a little.

Bree. The newborn. The one who surrendered. She was in such pain being near me, her virtually uncontrollable bloodlust almost causing her to lunge at me, although doing so would have meant her instantaneous death. She was terrifying, yet I had to look at her. Would I be like her once I was changed? Snarling, burning, out of control… a genuine, honest-to-goodness monster?

I wanted so badly to talk to her, to find out what the change was like, to have her explain what her life was like now, but it wasn't exactly as if we could sit down over a cup of tea (blood for her) and have some nice civilized girl talk. I know she would have told me the whole truth, except that she would be too busy killing me at the time.

Each member of my new family could tell me in graphic detail about the change, but I was pretty sure none of them would give me the full, unedited version. Even Rosalie. They didn't want to scare me, and while I appreciated that, I also wanted to know what was coming. It wouldn't change my mind – I was in this for long haul – but it would be better to know what to expect. I couldn't prepare for it, per se, but at least I would understand what was going to happen to me.

I was haunted by Bree's eyes. The look on her face was burned into my memory, and I wondered if I would always carry it with me. Of course, the memory would be strongest today, immediately after the fact, but it was so vivid that I couldn't imagine it ever going away completely.

Bree was the only newborn I'd ever seen in person, and while I'd heard tales of being out of control with the all-consuming bloodlust, my only reference points were the vampires I knew: the Cullens, the Volturi, and those associated with Victoria. They were all mature enough to have some measure of control, evidenced by the fact that I was still alive.

Jasper had tried to kill me that one time, which was terrifying to say the least, but there was something infinitely more civil about his attempt. And James had taken time to taunt me, to enjoy the hunt, and play with his food, as it were, before taking down his prey. It was cold and calculated and vicious, but controlled. Bree's entire demeanor was wildly savage.

Apparently at some point in her brief encounter with us, she had asked Edward for something and he had promised her he would do it. I never heard any of this, which in and of itself wasn't surprising, but if it was said aloud at all, every other vampire in the vicinity would have. So, he must not have spoken to her. They had to have communicated through thoughts. Did she know he could read minds? Could she read minds, too? I suddenly had a billion new questions, and I planned to get answers, but right now, we needed to get moving.

The first order of business was to tell Charlie about my "shopping trip" with Alice. I tried to call him, but he was apparently out on one of his rare, genuine police matters in the bustling metropolis of Forks, so I left him a note at home. I could just imagine him coming back to find me gone, no explanation, then sending out an APB for his missing daughter. Border patrol would probably try to arrest Edward for kidnapping me. I smiled to myself as my imagination wandered to images of troopers trying to handcuff my vampire abductors.

I started to write that Alice and I were going shopping in Seattle, but Edward reminded me that Charlie would have a conniption if he thought we would be in Seattle where all the killings were happening. We knew the reported serial killers, so prevalent in the papers of late, were not going to be seen again, but my dad wouldn't know that.

We decided Bellingham would be a better choice for our fake shopping excursion. Being about an hour and a half north of Seattle, it would be far enough away for Charlie not to worry, and also far enough that it would make sense to spend the night, if needed. And while I knew this was downright illogical, it somehow felt like less of a lie to tell him Bellingham, since it was closer to our actual destination. I didn't know why that should make a difference, but somehow it just felt closer to the truth. Close enough for Charlie's need-to-know purposes, I rationalized.

I ran upstairs to use the bathroom, grab toiletries and a change of clothes, and locate my passport, then down to the kitchen for a bottle of water and some snacks. Since Emmett wasn't there, nobody teased me about taking a few minutes to gather my human accoutrements, and while I knew we were in a hurry, nobody rushed me. I was going as fast as I could, which to a vampire I'm sure was painstakingly slow.

Thankfully, Edward had my heavy coat in hand. I definitely would have forgotten it since it was hanging in the laundry room, drying from the previous day. Out of sight is out of mind, until later when I would be freezing. Realistically, Alice would have happily bought me a new one at the first opportunity, but I really didn't need another one, not that anything as ridiculous as 'need' would make a difference to her.

The four of us piled into the Volvo and headed toward Port Angeles. There was still snow on the ground, but at least it wasn't actively snowing and the road was clear. I already had a difficult time with Edward's fast driving, but if we were on snow, too, I would never be able to relax.

"How long is it going to take to get to Vancouver? Aren't we cutting it close?" I asked. We had a rather long drive ahead of us, even at Edward-speed.

"We'll get there in time. Don't worry, Bella," Alice answered.

I sat back to enjoy the ride, or I should say to tolerate the ride.

"Well, it's at least a half hour to Port Angeles, the way you drive…" I teased Edward. "That should give me enough time for some of my questions."

Edward rolled his eyes, but asked, "What do you want to know?"

"My first question is, if I start asking you questions, are you going to answer them? Truthfully?"

"Bella! Why would you say that? Of course I'll answer truthfully! I would never lie to you!" Edward realized the error in his words almost as soon as they fell from his mouth and he immediately went from indignant to ashamed.

I reached over to touch his arm, sorry because I hadn't meant it to go in that direction, but he quickly shrugged away.

"Pull over!" Jasper commanded from the back seat. Edward looked annoyed at his brother, but complied.

Once on the side of the road, I turned around in my seat to face an irritated Jasper. "Bella, I know you didn't mean to drag up the past like that, but your feelings are there, just under the surface, and they're going to come out sometimes because whether you want to admit it or not, you don't fully trust Edward to be true to his word. You have good reason to feel that way, but seriously, you need to work through your feelings because Edward loves you desperately and the only reason he ever lied to you was to protect you. From me specifically, might I add…

"And for God's sake, Edward, you need to forgive yourself. Beating yourself up from now to eternity isn't going to change what happened. You made a very stupid mistake. You were… get ready, because I'm going to say it… you were WRONG! The Great Edward Cullen was wrong. OK? Even smart vampires like yourself are wrong sometimes. Bella loves you, and if you continue to hurt her because you can't let go of the past hurt you caused her, well then you will officially be the stupidest creature on the planet. OK? I don't know about you, but I don't want to deal with all these emotions right now. You people are wearing me out already. I need to be sharp today. Stay focused! We have bigger fish to fry here," Jasper concluded angrily.

And then there was silence. A very loud silence. Jasper generally didn't speak much. In fact, that was by far the most I'd ever heard him say in one stretch. Alice talked almost constantly, so I always figured Jasper just couldn't fit a word in edgewise if he wanted to, but apparently when he did have something to say, he could, and it was a good idea to listen.

Edward reached for my hand and gave it a little squeeze, we shared a smile, and then he pulled back onto the road. Nobody said anything for a while.

"OK, I didn't mean to kill every emotion entirely," Jasper finally said, breaking the ice. Edward and I chuckled.

"That was hard to hear, but you've given me some things to think about, Jaz," I responded. Edward nodded and smiled at Jasper in the rearview mirror. I knew they were having one of those silent conversations I hated so much, but I couldn't exactly scold them in this case. What Jasper had said to Edward was spot-on, too. Both of us needed to truly forgive, rebuild, and move forward.

Edward took advantage of the relative silence to call Carlisle to explain the situation. Of course, the call went exactly as Alice had predicted. Even with my human ears, I could hear Emmett in the background complaining loudly about not being part of the action, as if the previous day hadn't held enough action. I think Emmett would have liked to fight a different newborn army every day, if he had the choice.

During his conversation, occasionally Edward would talk so quietly, I couldn't hear him. Jasper and Alice were both nodding, so that meant I was the only one left out. Again. Naturally this drove me out of my mind.

I tried to imagine all the possible reasons Edward might have for being so secretive at this point. I mean, I was already on the trip. I knew the basics of why we were going, or at least I thought I did. Maybe there was more to it than I was being told. I didn't like that idea one bit.

We got to Port Angeles in record time, as we did every time Edward or Alice drove, and headed straight for the docks. We parked in front of a shabby little office with a "Closed" sign in the window. I was puzzled.

"I thought we were going to drive…" I started to say, but Edward cut me off with a quick kiss.

"This is one of those times when it's nice to have money," he said, donning his signature crooked smile before getting out of the car.

A very happy looking man with leathery, weather-worn skin came out to greet us, locking up the office door on his way out. He and Edward shook hands, there was some pointing and chatting, then Edward got back in the car and followed the man in his golf cart to one of the smaller docks, away from the main ones where the huge Black Ball Ferries took passengers to and from the City of Victoria.

I still wasn't sure where we were going exactly, until Edward followed the cart down a ramp onto an awaiting ferry. Compared to the massive ships nearby, this was quite a bit smaller, but it still seemed huge to. It looked like maybe 20 cars could fit in the parking compartment below deck where we sat.

But there was only one car onboard. The Volvo looked a little strange sitting by itself in the middle of the huge floating parking lot. Or maybe I just felt a little strange, being one of four passengers on a ship that could obviously accommodate 100 people or more.

"When did you make these arrangements?" I asked. I knew Edward hadn't been on the phone except for talking to Carlisle. "And do I even want to know how much this cost?"

"I made the reservations as soon as I saw that we were all going, including the car," Alice chirped brightly. I should have known. "And no, you do not want to know what this cost. Let's just say that our captain was all too happy to give his afternoon sight-seeing excursion to a competitor."

"No wonder he was grinning from ear to ear," I mumbled.

"If you're going to be a Cullen, you need to learn to spend money once in a while. What's the point of having it if you don't spend it?" Alice giggled. I rolled my eyes. I couldn't imagine not caring about the price of things.

"Well, if we're just going to throw money around, shouldn't we have flown? Wouldn't that have been faster?"

Edward took my hand, looking deeply into my eyes, clearly concerned. "There's a reason this ferry ride is especially expensive, Bella. The captain has a few places to dock where we won't have to… umm… take the time to go through customs. That type of extra service doesn't come cheap. I know… technically, it's breaking the law, but we all have passports and proper ID. We're just not taking the time to show it to the Canadian government right now."

Despite his obviously sincere explanation, I burst into laughter. "Why, Edward Cullen, I do believe you just admitted your intention to commit an international crime! Who knew you could so easily justify breaking the law? You're such a rebel. I'll have to remember that in the future."

I winked at him as Jasper and Alice laughed loudly. If I didn't know better, I would say Edward blushed.

The ship's captain greeted us as we got out of the car. "We'll be heading out in just a few minutes, folks. If you want to go out on deck, make sure you bundle up because it's gonna be cold out there. You can have some coffee in the galley. I just made it fresh a while ago. Not sure I have much in the way of food. This was all kinda sudden…"

"Thank you, but I'm sure we'll be fine," Edward reassured him.

"OK, well, if you head up them stairs…" he pointed and trailed off. I wasn't sure, but I thought he looked a little… scared as he hurriedly made his way to a door and disappeared inside.

We made our way up to the deck. The skies were overcast as usual, as the captain predicted, the cold was particularly biting as the boat started across the Sound. I felt it all the way to the bone. I'd have been frozen solid without my coat. I would have to properly thank Edward for that later… and maybe I'd even catch him while he was still in the mood to break some rules.

Alice and Jasper stayed out on the deck to watch the world go by. Alice was hoping to see porpoises. I sort of wanted to look for them, too, but Edward insisted we go inside, warning me not to pretend I wasn't cold. He hated it when I did that. This time, it wasn't like I could hide it. My teeth were chattering so loud, I would probably scare away the fish. Of course, having vampires in the vicinity would likely scare them anyway.

The passenger cabin was warm and clean, although the seats looked like they came from a 1970's school bus. They were about as comfortable, too, but with Edward there, it didn't really matter. I snuggled close to him, and even though he was just as cold as the outside weather, I started feeling warmer immediately.

"So…" Edward started. I looked at him expecting him to continue, but he was looking at me the same way.

"Oh, yes. That's right. It's time for questions!"

He reluctantly nodded. "Yes, let's get the grilling over with."

"What makes you think I'm going to grill you?" I asked with a smile.

"That's one trait you definitely share with your father. You're both detectives and interrogators. Relentless."

"OK, fine. Then let the grilling begin!" I announced with a laugh. "First question – "

"You already asked your first question," he quietly reminded me.

"Oh, yeah…" I said, suddenly solemn. "If it's OK with you, can we just pretend that one never happened?"

"Of course, my love," he cooed into my ear. It was very sweet, but in the back of my mind, I had to wonder if this wasn't an attempt to distract me. That wasn't going to happen.

OK, first question… did Bree…" I choked a little on her name. "…read minds, too ?"

"No," he answered without explanation.

I sighed, already exasperated. "This will go a lot faster if you give me more than one word answers."

"OK," was his only reply. I rolled my eyes at him as he grinned back at me.

"You are a horrible brat. You know that, right?" He nodded as I leaned in for a kiss.

"And I'll keep being a horrible brat if that is my penalty," he said through a growing grin.

"Stop trying to dazzle me. You can't distract me forever," I almost whined, causing him to laugh.

"I intend to try, you know…"

I gave his arm a little tap and he winced like I'd actually hurt him. "Someday I'm going to smack you and it will mean something, and then you'll be sorry."

"Well, when that time comes, I guess I'd better not give you any cause to smack me," he reasoned, enjoying this a little too much.

I smiled and almost fell into his attempt to divert my attention. Almost.

"OK, where was I? Oh, yes. Bree. You didn't actually talk to her, right? I mean, I didn't hear anything, obviously, but you wouldn't talk to her in front of the Volturi, right?"

"No, I didn't talk to her, but apparently Riley had told them one of us could read minds. She figured out it was me, so she was trying to tell me as much as she could before…" he paused. "Well, she knew what was going to happen to her, and she didn't have a lot of time left, so she told me as much of her story as she could. She didn't know what Victoria and Riley had been up to exactly, but she knew they had lied to her and she was grateful that I'd killed them."

"How did she know the Volturi would kill her? Carlisle was offering her a place with our family…" I trailed off. Part of me wanted her to join us, at least until she learned some self-control, because she was a danger to herself and others. And having a few more vegetarian vampires in the world wouldn't hurt my feelings. I had to admit, however, that part of me was hoping they would just let her go and she would run away and never come back.

The one thing I didn't want was what happened. Even though Edward held my face to his chest to protect me from witnessing her dismemberment, I still heard everything. I had seen Seth ripping Riley to shreds, and then Edward had done the same with Victoria. I didn't have to see Bree's face to know what she would look like when the Volturi guard started tearing her apart. I shuddered.

"This morning, I told Jasper and Alice the entire story when I realized they were coming with us. I was planning to talk to the whole family about it together, but I haven't had a chance to get everyone in the same place at the same time until the phone call on the drive. Carlisle was helping with Jacob yesterday and I was with you… this news is extremely important, and it's one of the reasons we're making this trip today," Edward said grimly.

"O…K…? Do I want to know this? I mean, I want to know, but maybe I'm sort of scared to know?" It came out as a question rather than a statement. I didn't know what he was going to say, but whatever it was, it just couldn't be good.

Edward stroked my arm and pulled me in a little closer. "Remember when I said it was an interesting coincidence that the Volturi showed up right after the battle? I knew they were aware of what was happening. I even read it in one of the guard's thoughts. But Bree told me that 'the dark cloaks' as she called them had met with Victoria and Riley several days before the battle. They were hoping Victoria would have at least some success in reducing our numbers, although they didn't offer any assistance to ensure a victory.

"Jane didn't know how much the newborn army had been told. Bree was smart enough not to divulge any information, but Jane had her killed anyway, just in case she knew anything that might incriminate the Volturi. Now we're going to meet Fred, Bree's friend who left the newborn army yesterday morning. Bree would have left with him, but she was looking for someone named Diego. She found out too late that Diego had already been tortured and killed by Victoria and Riley. He knew too much."

I felt goosebumps rise all over my body. I shivered, and it certainly wasn't from the cold this time. I really didn't want to know what one vampire did to physically torture another, but it had to be horrible.

"Why would Victoria torture and kill one of her army, when what she needed was numbers?"

"I don't know," Edward answered, looking puzzled. "I guess that would be a good question for Fred. I'm hoping he has some insight on this entire situation based on whatever stories Riley told them. He might carry crucial information without even knowing it."

"So, tell me more about this Fred. What do you know about him?"

"He has a very unusual power…" he started.

"I know. Alice told me. You can't see him if he doesn't want you to."

Edward smiled. "Well, yes, that's true. What she didn't mention is how he accomplishes this feat. He can cause such revulsion that even other vampires feel physically sick if they try to get close to him. Fred is a loner. Instead of marauding through the streets of Seattle with the other newborns, it appears he spent most of his time practicing his gift until he could actually cause himself to be invisible to those he didn't want to see him. If they tried to remember him, they would get nauseated and automatically forget again, to ease the discomfort. It's actually quite impressive."

"Well that just sounds wrong," I mused. "Someone who can literally make you sick just by looking at him? That's a strange power. I mean, I guess it would be effective, but I don't think I'd want to be protected because I was so repulsive that nobody could look at me."

He ran his finger under my chin and gazed deep into my eyes. "That, my love, is one problem you will never have to worry about." Of course, I blushed like crazy as his lips gently touched mine.

Once I remembered to breathe again, I couldn't help but ask, "This is probably a silly question, but I thought all vampires were beautiful. Is this Fred guy ugly?"

Edward threw his head back and laughed. "No, based on Alice's vision, he's definitely not ugly. He can just make people feel sick, but it's not because he's actually horrifying to look at or anything."

"Oh," I said, feeling somewhat naïve. "So, if he's such a loner, how did Bree become his friend?"

"She didn't think about that, so I'm not really sure. My guess is that he let his guard down for her. I don't know why. Based on her thoughts, she considered Diego to be more of a love interest, so it wasn't that… At least not for her. She did think fondly of Fred, however. She asked me to be kind to him."

"OK, so let me put this all together. Bree was supposed to find this Diego, and the two of them were going to… what? Meet up with Fred in Vancouver? Form their own little coven?"

Edward nodded. "That appears to have been the plan. Fred gave her 24 hours to meet him in Vancouver. After that, he was going to disappear. The problem is, he doesn't know the rules of vampire life. He doesn't know about the Volturi. If they received news of a survivor from the newborn army, it would be a death sentence for him. All it would take is for Aro to read my mind to discover his existence, and then Demetri would track him down. Fred's only hope would be his gift, but Jane could probably debilitate him before he even knew what hit him.

"Bella, I hope you can see now why I felt I had to do this for Bree. She gave us some very important information and her dying wish was that I would warn Fred about the Volturi… about the rules, so he didn't end up like the rest of them."

I did see, and I would have told him so, but I realized my throat felt tight and I had tears in my eyes. I tried to understand my own reaction to this story. Certainly it was sad… tragic even, but it was more than that. Edward, my noble, loving Edward, had been trying to do what he knew was right while also trying to keep me happy and feeling secure. His sense of duty and his love for me were pulling him apart, and I had been forcing him into a no-win situation.

"I was wrong earlier," I squeaked out, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I said yesterday was the most selfish I'd ever been, but it was today." And with that, I started to cry. No, not to cry… to sob.

He pulled me into his lap as I wept. All my distrust and attempts at self-preservation fell to the wayside. Edward wasn't perfect, but he was a man of integrity and true character. And he loved me. I would try not to allow those two things to be at odds again.

"Bella, my darling, don't cry." His voice was slow and soothing as he stroked my hair. "I know I haven't earned your trust back yet. I said I wouldn't leave and then I did. I crushed you, and I know because I crushed me, too. I swear to you, I will earn your trust again. I don't expect you to hand it over with a pretty bow on top. I broke it and I need to fix it. And I will."

I only nodded, unable to form the words I wanted to say. If he could read my thoughts, he would know that I loved him beyond measure. Yes, he'd broken us, but we were mending now and once the wounds fully healed, we would be more strongly bonded than ever.

Several minutes passed before I was able to get a grip on my tears. Edward's shirt had soaked up a pool of them by the time I lifted my head from his shoulder. I stupidly thought about being happy I wasn't wearing mascara. These were the moments when I was especially glad Edward couldn't read my mind. No doubt he would think I was crazy.

Jasper and Alice came inside and both gave me a look of concern.

"Don't look at me like that! You're going to make me cry again!" I whined.

Alice sat beside me and took my hand. "We just want you to be OK. You know that."

"I know," I pouted. "I just hate that look of sympathy. 'Oh, look at the poor little human. She's crying again.'"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Bella, if I could cry, there are plenty of times I would. I don't think crying is a weakness. Plus, do you realize how much you've been through in the past few months? Or even in the past day? I think most 'poor little humans' would have crumbled by now. Crying once in a while would be the least of their problems."

I appreciated the sentiment, and I wasn't about to argue with her, but I still couldn't help feeling sort of pathetic when I was the only one crying. It wasn't logical, of course, because I knew they couldn't cry, but then again, it wasn't really about logic. The fact that I was wrapped in the arms of a vampire and was being comforted by two others wasn't exactly the most rational thing, either. Truth be told, irrational had become the largest part of my life.