Chess was invigorating, but there were benefits to be found in variety. Therefore, when Loki arrived at Tony's place and found him fiddling with a deck of cards, he allowed the change in games. Though poker required a certain measure of luck, there was still enough strategizing and subterfuge to keep Loki happy. And the more Tony drank, the easier it became for Loki to read the strength of Tony's hand in the lines of his face. He finally understood where the expression 'Poker Face' came from – though not why Darcy insisted on singing about it in the shower.
As money was pointless to them both – Loki could make or take whatever he wanted and Tony could simply buy it – they decided to gamble for something infinitely more important to men such as these two: bragging rights. And neither was a graceful loser.
Still, poker allowed for more conversation – which Loki found to be both good and bad. Tony was amusing and wasn't above laughing at the misfortune of others - it's always nice to find common ground. But at this moment, Loki was starting to get more than a little irritated at the topic Tony had switched to. And Tony must have picked up on his annoyance as he then latched on to it with vigor.
"I'm just saying it's about time. That boy has been so damn surly since they defrosted him, it's been pissing everyone off. Nothing like swiping the V-card to get a man to stop acting like a bitch. Three Jacks."
Tony's words were calculated, but Loki would not allow himself to be baited by a mortal who required a machine to remind him to do something before he could do anything. Besides, he wasn't that far off base. It was simply not Darcy that the Captain was going home to at night - some redheaded S.H.I.E.L.D. underling had that dubious honor. Loki couldn't be bothered to invest much time and effort into investigating the boy's sex-life, but Steve and his conquest weren't even being particularly discrete. However, the truth didn't seem to matter to the mortals when the gossip was so much more delicious. He wondered if the whole of S.H.I.E.L.D. would collectively orgasm at the news that he was Darcy's secret lover.
"Full house, Queens over Eights." Loki gathered up the poker chips and continued, "And I am sure we are all grateful that the Captain has let go of the past and found some relaxation in the present."
Loki hoped that would end the conversation. Unfortunately, Tony seemed to be trying to make a point tonight. He – and he alone – was the only one suspicious of Loki's relationship with Darcy. Granted, the only other person who knew they even spoke to one another was Steve and he had his own distractions these days.
Tony blathered on, "I heard that all he had to do was wink at the girl and his virginity disappeared faster than you can say 'premature ejaculation'. Not that I'm judging her. I stuck up for her when that mouthy guard compared her to the Bermuda Triangle. I mean, I laughed first. But then I hit him."
"The what Triangle?"
"Bermuda Triangle. It's a place where boats supposedly sink for no reason."
"And he compared such a place to Darcy?"
"You know, because they both swallowed a lot of semen."
Loki was impressed by his ability to contain his wrath and replied as casually as possible, "Shame Darcy didn't hear his slander. She would have dislocated his jaw." Pity Loki hadn't heard either – he would have dislocated his head.
"You're probably right. You know her better than me, though. But she seems like a girl who knows how to have a good time. Straight, Queen high."
Tony was starting to get obvious in his attempts to goad Loki into admitting something about his association with Darcy. But one cannot make the God of Lies simply blurt truth. Fool.
Raising a brow, Loki went on the offensive, "Indeed. Shame you are not still single. She seems like your type of woman."
It was Tony's turn to gape stupidly, "What's this "not single" nonsense?"
"Pepper is your betrothed, is she not? Flush of Hearts." Loki took the poker chips again.
"Be-what the hell are you talking about?"
"Well, she is constantly around you, doing your bidding, supporting you, taking care of you, humoring you, loving you…but I know she is not yet your wife. Also, neither of you are having sexual relations with anyone else. Which, from your reputation, sounds like quite the sacrifice. So I assumed she was your betrothed. Or am I simply misunderstanding mortal culture again? Because she would be labeled as such in Asgard."
"Well, you're wrong. Very. Pepper works for me. I pay her to do…all that stuff."
"You pay her to worry while you are off saving the day? Does one earn time and a half for pacing and biting one's nails, looking like her world will end the same moment your life ends? Quite the dedicated employee you have there."
Tony looked blindsided. Lovely. Doesn't feel so good, does it? But Loki kept his amusement internal and his eyes on his cards.
Tony's voice was a bit unsteady, "So…she's not seeing anybody?"
Loki resisted the urge to smile. Denial was hilarious. Though…something about this conversation sat uncomfortably with him.
"No. If she is not in a relationship with you then she is not in a relationship with anyone. Would she not tell you if she was with another man?"
Tony looked deep in thought, "No, I mean we don't talk about things like that. She's…seen…some of my past mistakes. Usually helped me kick them out. She's very calm about it, though – almost British in her unflappability. That whole country is full of chill motherfuckers. Two pair, Jacks and Fives"
Chill - Loki had learned by now that such a saying had nothing to do with temperature. Midgardians were so strange.
"Well, my mistake then. You obviously do not love her the way a woman of her caliber deserves. It is good to know she is not taken. While I generally dislike all blondes, I would perhaps make an exception for one as level-headed as she. Three Kings." Loki took the poker chips again, but Tony didn't seem to notice.
"Not funny, Loki."
He just smiled benignly, "Well good. I was not aiming for a joke."
Tony was starting to look very tense and Loki could barely contain an embarrassing urge to giggle – which was truly the only appropriate response to something as amusing and nauseatingly sweet as Tony's ridiculous jealousy. As if Pepper would intrigue him.
"Leave her alone."
Loki smirked at the angry man in front of him, "Why? If she is not taken - and I do mean that in every sense - then some man is not doing his job properly. Do you know that my last lover called me the God of Sex after our first encounter?" Well, Darcy's words had been 'sex-god beast', but the sentiment was the same.
"She's taken."
Pleased with himself despite the general benevolence of it all, Loki smiled, "Does she know that?"
"She will."
"Good."
Tony seemed to suddenly realize what had happened. "You played me, you bastard!"
Loki finally let out a laugh and answered in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "You are surprised? Hello, my name is Loki. I am the God of Mischief and Lies. Have we met before?"
Tony shook his head and seemed to smile in spite of himself. "You really are a bastard."
"That is very rude to point out. I am adopted, you know? I might cry at your callous indifference to my familial turmoil."
Tony just gave him a look and executed a subject change even Loki had to admire, "How's Darcy?"
Feeling annoyed that they had merely circled back around, Loki answered, "Fine, last I saw her. I assume you see her more than I do."
Tony just persisted, "Maybe. When was the last time you saw her?"
He had last seen her this morning, when he awoke to find her naked in his arms. As per the usual.
So Loki lied, "Wednesday night. She insisted we watch a movie called 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets'. And then she became upset with me when I rooted for the basilisk. I do not understand why. They are beautiful creatures. She was being unreasonable."
"Riiiiight. Do you have any idea how weird I find it that you two are friends?"
"No weirder than she finds our friendship, I assure you."
Tony looked thrown again, "Are we friends?"
"For my part, I suppose. Though one cannot enter these things unilaterally."
Tony smiled in an odd way, "Guess not. Huh. Friends. Are we supposed to braid each other's hair now? Oh, and wear one of those heart necklaces! I get the half that says 'Best', you can have the half that says 'Friends'."
Loki just stared at him for a moment before answering, "You are an idiot. I rescind my offer of friendship. Shut up and deal."
As if Loki would let anyone else wear the half that said 'Best'. Fool.
Loki remained as still as possible, but he couldn't prevent the words that spilled from his lips, "Should I ask what you are doing back there, or just linger in suspense?"
"Linger." He could hear the smirk in her voice.
He pressed his answering smile into the pillow, trying not to feel so damned amused by the mortal doodling on his posterior. After more than a month of Darcy unsuccessfully trying to catch him unawares, Loki had decided to take pity on her and allow her to take her little revenge for his mark upon her hip. But only on the condition she resign herself to having his mark permanently. Its presence posed no real danger as no one other than himself would see it. And he did so enjoy seeing it. And tasting it - that particular patch of flesh was one of his top five favorite places on her body to lick.
When he finally agreed to let her mark him in return, she had lit up like he had offered her a rare treasure and literally ran to grab an odd black writing implement from her desk. She was wondrously naked during her mad dash for ink, and Loki promised himself to find many more reasons to make her do such an action again. Her body was enough to make the most virtuous of men beg for succor.
He felt the tickle on his skin cease.
"There. That's better."
Loki quickly made a double and sent him to inspect her handiwork, causing Darcy to yelp. He recalled it once he'd gotten a good look.
She had written 'Property of Darcy Lewis' in thick black ink across his left buttock.
He smirked at her over his shoulder, "Nice penmanship."
"Thanks! And I own your ass now. Literally. See?" She looked so damn pleased with herself that Loki forgave her the words of possession. Though he added two little words above his own name on her hip. It was only fair that she be his 'property' as well.
Chuckling, he allowed the mark to absorb into his skin, becoming as permanent as her own. Again, it was only fair. He could remove it later if the need arose.
Suddenly, he felt tension come over her. How strange. She looked as if she were warring with herself over something. He wanted to ease into her mind, but he had promised not to do so without permission. Still…
"Something wrong?"
He could hear a strange falseness in the levity of her next words, "Speaking of ownership…should I expect Sigyn to come shank my slutty ass anytime soon?"
Loki wondered where he'd heard that name before. "Who?"
"Uh, your wife."
Now Loki was dreadfully confused. "My what?"
"Your wife."
"No, I heard you clearly the first time. That was an expression of incredulity."
He watched Darcy's eyes widen, "So…she's not your wife?"
He laughed, "I am not married. Not now, not ever. Do I seem the marrying type?"
"Can't really say I ever thought about it before. But I googled you and it said...nevermind. You're really not married?"
He studied her face, the slightly hopeful gleam in her eyes at his denial, "No. Why - were you jealous?"
"No!" She'd shouted that a bit too emphatically and Loki could barely contain the smug grin that wanted to break free. "I just didn't wanna be a homewrecker."
"Of course. Silly me. Well, fear not – the only home we have wrecked is your own. And that closet at Tony's place. Oh, and the empty office at Headquarters. That was fun."
A dreamy smile spread across her lush lips, "Yeah…"
Amused, Loki queried, "So, was that all you wanted to know?"
Darcy shook herself back to reality and bit her lip. She seemed to be debating something in her head again. He could see the moment when she decided to speak.
"Uh. Actually, there was this thing I heard about a horse?"
A/N: So I'm invoking author's prerogative and not going near the whole Sigyn thing. Why? Labyrinthinemelange. How could I compare to her (I'm assuming her) amazing portrayal? Answer – I couldn't. So if you want Sigyn in a D/L fic done in a fuckawesome way – go read her Thrice Blood Trilogy.
Well, what are you waiting for? I said go read it!