Okay, so when I updated last time the story flipped out and put "Hold My Hand" as the last chapter. So in case you haven't read it, there is another new chapter "Mischief Managed". Just want to make sure that chapter gets read.

Okay, so this chapter is my first attempt at a story like this, so tell me what you think and I warn you that this is so far the darkest chapter, in my opinion.

88. Pain

Logan sat on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had the worst feeling in his stomach, but he didn't know why. He felt horrible, but not in a sick way. Every now and then a tear falling down his face onto the bed.

He wasn't thinking. That was his problem that night. He didn't have a sane thought in his head. He didn't have any thought in his head, other than the fact of what he felt. He just laid there, a pain in his chest, feeling nasty and crying, not sure why of any of them.

That's when he got up and slowly walked across the room, not sure what he was doing. He slowly opened the door and walked out of his bedroom, careful not to wake up Kendall.

He didn't take the swirly slide. He just slowly walked down the stairs, tears suddenly falling faster. He walked into the kitchen and opened a drawer. He slowly touched the cold black handle that sent chills down his spine before picking it up.

He slowly made his way to the bathroom, covering his eyes as he turned the bathroom light on. He walked in and closed the door behind him. Turning to look at himself in the mirror, he let out a sigh.

He still looked like himself, besides the fact that his hair was a mess as he had been lying in bed. He sighed and looked down at the cold metal in his hand, slowly turning it in his hand, letting it glitter in the light before raising it to his face, looking at his brown eye in the reflection.

He slowly brought the knife down and pressed the sharp tip gently to his wrist. He didn't press too hard, he wasn't that stupid. Before he knew it he gave his other wrist a quick flick.

Logan thought he'd be able to bare the pain, but he was wrong. He thought he'd be able to bare the blood, but he was wrong. He let out a scream the second he felt the pain. He collapsed at the sight of the blood. He wanted to be a doctor; he could stand the sight of blood, just not in this situation.

He sat there on his knees, staring at his bleeding wrist. His mind seemed to finally realize what was going on. What the hell? His mind yelled. Why did you do that?

"I don't know." He sobbed, watching as the blood slowly dripped onto the floor. "I don't know." He pulled his wrist up to his chest, clenching it in his other hand.

He sat there, sobbing quietly. He could feel the warm liquid seeping through his thin t-shirt. It made him sick. He didn't cut himself too bad, but that's not why he felt sick. He felt sick because he cut himself. He had never cut himself before. He had never considered cutting himself before.

A small knock at the door made him jump. "Logan?" He heard Kendall ask. "Logie, are you okay?"

Logan tried to responded, but being conflicted between saying he was fine, and saying he needed help, caused him to let out a sob. He heard Kendall quickly turned the doorknob, pulling the door open. Logan didn't look up. He could already see Kendall's shocked looked.

He saw Kendall bend down onto his knees in front of him. "Logan, what-" He stopped when he saw Logan clutching his wrist. "Logie, did you-?" He didn't need to finish. Logan nodded mutely.

Kendall gently took the hand Logan was clutching his wrist with and pulled it towards him. Logan didn't let up his grip on his wrist, but sobbed harder when he knew Kendall could see the cut.

It was small, and it wasn't even bleeding anymore. Logan choked at the sight of the small red line on his wrist. "I don't know." He cried. "I just don't know."

Kendall slowly pulled Logan into a hug. "Don't know what, little buddy?"

Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall tighter at the sound of the rarely used name. "I just don't know. I wasn't thinking. I just felt pain. I laid there and I didn't know what to do about it. The next thing I know I'm-" He started crying too hard to continue.

Kendall pulled Logan tighter and looked around the bathroom. There was a small puddle of blood on the white floor. When he looked up he could see the knife on the edge of the counter, the corner of it bloody. "It's okay Logie. It's okay." Logan just started crying harder. Kendall shushed him and gave him comforting words, rubbing his back and gently rocking him.

Kendall was really glad Mrs. Knight and Katie had gone on a girl's weekend and that James and Carlos were sleeping out at the Palm Woods Park on a dare, and he knew Logan was too. Logan never liked a lot of people around him during a stressful situation, and this was definitely a stressful situation.

It was probably almost 20 minutes before Logan let go off Kendall. He didn't say anything, just stared down at the floor. "Come on Logie. Let's go wrap you up and head back to bed."

Logan shook his head. "I have to- I have to clean-"

Kendall shook his head. "No, you are going to bed. I'll clean up." Logan was about to protest but Kendall held up a hand. "No. Bed." He stated simple. Logan sighed and nodded. Kendall stood up then helped Logan up. Kendall wrapped an arm around Logan, who followed him stiffly.

Logan sat down at the kitchen table while Kendall got the first aid kit. He leaned his head against the top of the chair, listening as Kendall dug through the first aid kit. His mind was racing at 100 miles an hour, but he wasn't processing any of the thoughts. He was still too…distraught.

"Hand." Kendall said a couple seconds later. Logan held out his wrist. He listened sleepily as Kendall sang under his breath while wrapping his wrist. The gauze made his wrist sting a little, but the sound of Kendall singing calmed his nerves down greatly.

Kendall finished wrapping Logan's wrist and looked at him. The pale boy was asleep, tear streaks still shinning on his face. Kendall smiled sadly before carefully picking him up bridle style. Logan yawned and wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck, burying his head into Kendall's shoulder. Kendall chuckled and slowly made his way back to their bedroom.

So, how was that? I tried my best to make the emotions as realistic as possible. Hopefully I did I good job.

Review!

Ella.