He woke up on his desk again, startled, a piece of paper stuck to his forehead. He rubs his eyes to try to wake up and understand the situation.
He looks around to see that he's in the office, and the war room is empty and quiet. He looks at his watch to find out it is 3:30am. One more time he had stayed late and lost track of time.
He puts a hand through his hair and then sits back, yawns and stretches his arms while looking to his left. Her picture stares back at him. Serious, away, all his leads around her. But something is different. There's something written on the photo, a red blur across her face. He stands up and comes closer to see it. His heart skips a beat as he finally realises what's written.
"Deceased"
What? When did that happen? He starts ruffling through his papers, trying to find one that will explain that. Nothing. He sits down and closes his eyes, trying to remember the dream he was having. They were together. It was all over, they were living together. She had his ring on her finger, and his child in her belly. They were happy. Was that all a dream?
He turns on the tv and zaps through the channels until he finds a news channel, and sees her face again, with the message "Elizabeth Keen, terrorist, dead by the FBI" and the reporter talking things that didn't make sense.
She had taken hostages in a bank with Reddington, and as she killed one of the hostages the FBI and swat team broke into the building and brought her down. Reddington had been arrested. He was taken aback by her death, crying over her body, and screaming.
"Why? Why kill her? Why, Donald, why?"
And then he saw himself in the video. Serious, gun at hand, looking down at them, at his latest kill.
His heart froze as he dropped the remote, shocked.
"I killed her?"
He was feeling difficulty to breathe and had to sit down before he lost conscience. What happened?
Then he remembered. remembered her coming towards him, as the swat team invaded the bank, and a swat member grabbing her arm as she ran, and she struggled to get off him, screaming his name.
"Donald! It's a set up! Solomon! The cabal was here! Please!" But he just blindly pointed the gun at her head.
"I don't believe you" he said, a low and robot voice coming from his mouth. And as she cried and whispered "I love you" he just shot her in the head.
The memory took over him and he fell from the table where he was sitting straight to...
Straight to a bed.
He woke up with a scream, his scream. He was sweating and shivering at the same time, his body shaking with fear of the dream.
She was right next to him, her belly so big it was hard for her to find a good position to sleep. She held him close and placed his head on her neck and she soothed him.
"Shh. Hey, it's okay. It was a dream. Just a dream"
"I killed her... I... Liz" he was babbling, still not sure he was awake. He started to cry as she tried to convince him she was right there.
"It was a nightmare, babe, it's over. I'm here"
A few minutes passed until he was calm enough to understand he was now awake, and he sat up and looked at her, tears still on his eyes.
"Liz? Liz, I... It was a nightmare. I was back to hunting you, and you took over hostages. You tried to warn me, but I didn't believe you. I shot you, in the head, i..."
"It will be alright, Don. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere" she took his head on her hands and got closer, kissing his lips passionately. He was still breathing heavily from the scare as he kissed her back, holding her face, his tongue furiously trailing her mouth.
They both tilted back to lie on their sides, face to face, and he placed his hand on her belly, and finally he calmed down and opened a smile.
"I guess this here is so much like a dream that my dream felt too real."
She chuckled and kissed his forehead as he moved to place his ear on her belly.
"You see, baby? You're a dream!" He said, and then kissed her belly, resting his head on it as she stroke her fingers through his hair.
"She's coming, don," liz said, and he moved to lay his head on his pillow and look at her "i'm nervous! What are we going to do? Oh my God! we need to set her nursery! We don't have anything yet, except the presents the people gave us. We are so bad at this!"
It was his turn to calm her down, but he couldn't hide a chuckle as he took her head on his hand so she would look at him.
"Hey, calm down! there's still time. You're 7 months pregnant. We can built a nursery in 2 months."
"She can come any day now! Have you never heard of premature babies?"
"Ok Liz, just because some babies come earlier doesn't mean our baby will. What if tomorrow we went to the stores to look at things, hun? What do we need? a crib, a stroller, a car seat, whate else?"
She sat up and started thinking about it, counting up the things on her fingers.
"We need furniture, linen, blankets, a changer, and clothes, lots of clothes. and dippers."
"Wow, ok." Donald was a bit baffled with the amount of stuff they would have to buy. It was true they had spoken very little about it, and now they were in the nick of time and had to buy everything altogether. He tried to think about his finances to see if it would fit.
"Do you want to take it slow? You do, right" she said, and he shushed her.
"Let's go to the stores tomorrow. We can see the prices and choose the best ones. We can paint the extra room and get it ready for when the things arrive."
"are we really going to try to paint the walls again? It didn't really work last time" she remembered their running around painting each other's faces instead of focusing on the walls."
"I loved that day. It was so productive" he grinned and placed a kiss on her lips, and then went back to thinking. "Okay, maybe hire someone to paint the walls, oh God, Liz, can't we at least try? I think if we don't get a pattern on the wall it isn't that difficult."
"Are you worried about money?" she asked, blunt, and he made a face knowing that it was a terrible matter to talk about when considering their child's arrival.
"Don't get me wrong, Liz, but I am worried about the hospital bills, and all the other things, I don't know, I think we can save some money on the walls, that's all"
"I can talk to Red, if you want" she suggested, and then immediately regretted as he looked at her perplexed.
"No way Raymond Reddington will finance my daughter's life!" he said, and although he seemed a bit upset, it was nice to hear him saying "my daughter". she carressed her belly and then snuggled into him, placing her head on the crook of his neck.
"Can we talk about it tomorrow? I'm so tired." He placed his arms around her, taking her in close and kissing the back of her neck.
"Sure, babe." he held her tight, scared his dream would come back the minute he closed his eyes, but with them in his arms, no nightmare had a chance. He fell asleep and they both slept holding each other all night.
A few days later, the nursery started to take shape. They were able to paint the walls, and they chose a lavender tone that wasn't very girly, but girly enough. The furniture and crib were white, so it contrasted well with the walls, and it was a calming setting. Liz got some clothes and it was adorable to fold and look at those tiny pieces as she organized them in the drawers of the dresser/changer. Next to the crib, a big armchair took most of the space, but it was special.
"It was your mother's. I recovered it from the fire and rebuilt it exactly as it used to be. She had it on her bedroom, but she told me it used to be in your bedroom, as she sat there when holding you at night, or breastfeeding." Red said when he brought in the chair. As Donald totally forbade him of buying anything for the room, he asked to at least include this into the decoration. Liz loved it. She faintly remembered that chair, and her mother sitting on it, and wished more than ever to hold her baby while sitting there. She could hardly wait to have her in her arms.
"I would like to buy her a frame, to put on the door, with her name" Reddington offered, waving his hand as Donald protested. "it's just a name tag, Donald, don't start. Have you decided on a name yet?"
Liz had thought a lot about that, since they had that small conversation. She wanted a name that was powerful, and yet could be shortened, just like hers. She thought about Donald's suggestion, and even though she had mocked at first, now it seemed the best option.
"Olive. she will be Olive" she looked at him and he showed signs he remembered that conversation. He opened a smile, approving the name. So did Red.
"Little Liv. I like it. I'll have it done and bring it to you as soon as it's ready. It will be perfect for when Liv comes."
She already loved her so much, Liv. It was bringing her so much happiness it was hard to contain. She felt some tears fall out as Red was about to leave.
"Lizzie, what's wrong?" he held her in her arms, and she chuckled, letting a few more tears come off.
"Do you remember when we were on the run, how I thought I would never be able to be happy again? You kept telling me I was going to have my life back, and I couldn't believe you. You were right, Red. Thank you!" she placed a kiss on his cheek as he looked at her with fatherly eyes.
"You'll have your dream, Lizzie. Soon you and Donald and Liv will walk together in the park, and you will hold her hand and never let go." she smiled at him, remembered the circumstances as she told him about this dream. They were going to use the services of the Djinn, and when the woman asked her deepest wish, she was unable to answer. She didn't know then. It was all that. Her baby, her family, Donald. In the end, she didn't need the Djinn, she conquered it herself.
Red went away and she went back to the nursery, where Donald was trying to build a doll's house. He was clearly upset with the thing.
"What do you mean part A matches with part D? it's impossible! IMPOSSIBLE!" he screamed at the instructions paper, and she laughed as she kneeled next to him, took the pieces from his hand and kissed him deeply, taking them both to lie on the carpeted floor.
"What was that for?" he said, holding her as she slid to his side, her belly too big to allow her to stay on top of him.
"Because I'm happy. that's all" he smiled and then kissed her again, holding her close.
"I'm happy too, babe."