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"Mara?" he leaned his head on her door, it was locked. For the very first time, she had locked herself away from him. "Mara please, I'm sorry,"

"I don't care." Was the voice. Jerome sighed, before sliding the spare key out of his pocket, turning it loudly in the lock, and opening the door. She was sat on the edge of the bed, back facing him. He made no move to go closer.

Mara didn't seem surprised that he had managed to entre. This was Jerome.

"Mara,"

"What?" she asked coldly and Jerome flinched at her tone.

"Can I come in?"

"I'd rather you just left." She hissed

"I'm so sorry," he stood forward, and her very intoned ears heard her

"Don't step closer." She warned. Jerome stopped, his heart breaking. And it surprised him just how soft he was now. It use to be him, giving her the harsh words, keeping secrets, telling her to go away, making her face his back.

Now look where he was.

"Mara, I was hurting."

"Oh, that's your excuse?" Mara barked harshly "I was hurting," she tried to mimic his voice, making it sound needy and weak. Jerome cringed again, it was almost bang on

"You're making this a bigger deal than it is," he tried once more. Apparently this was the wrong thing to say, a very bad thing to say. He could almost picture Alfie shaking his head, a warning sign.

But Alfie wasn't here.

Mara's back stiffened, then she turned sharply and flung the hot water bottle she had been using for her ribs at his face. Her usually bad aim didn't appear today, and it hit him on the cheek, breaking, hot water in his eyes.

He stood tall silent, like a soldier, and the water bottle fell a thud to the floor. Mara turned away, head held high.

"I'm sorry." He said, ignoring the stinging.

"You always are."

Line break

Mara had taken some time to breath, okay, she was angry. But she had every right. She just needed to breath.

"And then you kissed her?" Mara asked once more, just clarifying.

"You could say that." Jerome admitted "Or you could say I was trying to feel better and ease the guilt only I'm stupid and kissed someone thinking that would make it all better."

"I…"

"Mara," Jerome went over to her, she was on her bed, ribs healing, she could move about easily enough, just not put too much strain. "I'm sorry,"

"Jerome, don't you think it's weird how one of is nearly always sorry?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Why does one of us always do something wrong?" she gazed up at him. He blinked once

"You're smarter than me, Mara," he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"What would you have done, if…what would you had done if I'd died?"

Jerome was silent for a moment. Mara sat in the bed, eyes closed, she didn't want to see his expression. Jerome sat in the chair, watching her.

"Why would you ask?" he chocked

"Just tell me," she kept her eyes closed. It was frustrating for him, her eyes gave away everything she was feeling, and now he didn't have a clue.

"I cried Mara," he stated. Mara opened her eyes wide with shock

"What?" she whispered in disbelief

"I cried." He said again, more proud. "When you were lying in the hospital bed, unconscious with two broken ribs and not waking up. I cried for you,"

"For me?" she echoed in awe

"Yeah," he managed a shaky smile "Guess it means I really love you?"

Mara nodded "Kiss me," she whispered. Jerome sat on the bed beside her, tucking some hair behind her ear, before leaning down and capturing her lips in his own. "I love you," she whispered to him "I love you so much,"

"You mean 'I love homework' love, or Real love?"

"They're both real love," she laughed, and Jerome laughed too.

Line Break

She pounded against the ice, punching it, though her arms dragged slowly through the black water. The water, she tried to scream, plead.

Pray to god that she wouldn't die.

She could make out Jerome's face above the ice, how? She didn't know. But she could see him, and she managed a shaky smile in the freezing water. Her face cracked slightly, but she smiled.

If she was going to die, she was happy that she was looking at the person she loved, and she sank further still

"Mara! Mara wake up!" Jerome cried, shaking her shoulders harshly, she had been screaming, screaming his name.

Mara opened her eyes, panting as if she had been holding her breath. Her chest heaved and her lungs ached.

"Here," Jerome sat her up softly, quickly "Have some water," he gave her a glass of water, but she took one look at it and knocked it out of his hand, watching with small sense of satisfaction as if stained the floor. "Okay, no water," he summed up, looking into her unfocused eyes "Mara? Mara are you awake?" he ran a hand in front of her eyes, and she followed it.

"Bad dream," she croaked, still breathing in deeply. Oh god, she loved oxygen.

"What off?" Jerome asked, laying her back down and pulling the blankets up to her chin. He tucked a softly black lock behind her ear, and left his hand there

"Drowning," Jerome winced

"It's over now," he whispered. Mara nodded, licking her dry lips

"I know. I just…" she trailed off. Jerome nodded like he understood. And it made her feel better, wait. That reminded her of something "Hey, Did you know Fabian was in the hospital?"

"He's what?" Jerome asked, frowning

"He checked himself in earlier, says he wasn't feeling too well. They kept him in over night, we're going to visit him tomorrow."

"Oh." A grave look flew over Jerome's face.

"What?" Mara yawned sleepily

"Promise you won't get mad?" Mara said nothing, just stared up at him "When you were…"

"Drowning?"

"Yeah, that. I kept thinking, 'not her, please god, not her'" Mara watched him closely "And then I prayed to god, and I said," he lowered his voice, as if he were afraid someone would hear him "I said, anyone but her, please God, take anyone from my life but her, Take Everyone but her," He met her eyes again, waiting for her reaction.

Mara's eyes widened, she was shocked and pleased at the same time. For him to care so much to sacrifice everyone, "Jerome…" she whispered.

"I know." He ran a hand through his hair harshly, Mara scowled, she didn't like it when he did that. She reached up and pulled both his hands down and held them in hers, so he wouldn't hurt his hair

"Don't think that Fabian is your fault," she whispered, using her hands to place his cool palm onto her hot face. Jerome managed a half smile

"I sure hope not," he whispered, kissing her forehead "Sleep well Jaffray,"

"Jerome and Jaffray," she smiled sleepily, closing her eyes as Jerome stood of the bed. He chuckled, walking to the door

"Jerome and Jaffrey,"

But she was already asleep.

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