Darcy let out a huff as she laid there, alone in the big comfy bed. Her knees were tucked up as far as her just-starting-to-show tummy would allow, and her arms were loosely banded around them. It didn't help. No matter how small and compact she made herself - or how many freaking layers of blankets she cocooned herself in - she still felt cold. It was fucking annoying.

She tried to think happy thoughts. She loved cold things! Ice cream was cold. Loki was cold. Loki's tongue was cold.

She sighed, releasing her hold on her knees and tucking her arms beneath her pillow. What did it matter? She'd always - ALWAYS - be cold.

Her body stiffened at the unexpected touch on her stomach. It was skin to skin and she suddenly realized that she was not wearing her sweatshirt anymore. She didn't move as the hand flattened against her little baby bump.

She knew that hand. She knew those fingers. Long and sinful and talented.

Loki.

He was in bed behind her, arm wrapped around her as it had been so many times before. Her heart started pounding and she wanted to cry out - to turn over and bury her face in his neck. But she was paralyzed by the idea that this was a dream. Or if it wasn't...how he would react.

Without warning, sweet blessed relief started to fill her body - warmth trickling from her head to her toes - radiating out from the hand still on her abdomen.

Oh, thank god. Or, well, thank Loki. Same difference.

His voice was a whisper in her ear, "Better?"

She whimpered and nodded. Then she just couldn't help it anymore and started to cry. Stupid baby hormones. She felt him tense behind her and then he was suddenly lying in front of her, cupping her cheek - damn magician with his poofing right into her face while she was red and puffy and crying like a damn fool.

"Oh Darcy, stop this. Do not cry. I am sorry."

That brought her up short, "You're sorry?"

Oh, fuck. He didn't want kids. He never wanted kids. He wouldn't want their kid.

"I left you alone to handle this. Believe me, I did not know. I did not even think I could...but I never would have left had I known."

Oh. Relief filled her.

But just to clarify, "Wait, you're not upset that I'm pregnant?"

"Upset?" He seemed to intuit what she was thinking. "Darcy, no! I am not upset. I am... pleased. I think. Numb with shock at the moment, but pleased underneath. If you are?"

"Oh. Yes. I am. Now, at least. It's been hard. I was scared and I didn't know if I could handle this. Motherhood is daunting by itself, but without you and the whole Jötunn thing...I just...but I'm happy now. If...if you can stay?"

She was mortified by how stunted and weak and needy she sounded. She just needed to confirm that he was back for good. Then she could chew him out later.

His voice was resolute, "I am not leaving you. Either of you. Ever again."

His hand made gentle circle patterns on her stomach. Maybe she had been completely wrong about him.

"You're not gonna start cooing to the baby bump are you?"

His hand paused, "I do not coo."

"Oh, good. That would've been too weird. And thanks for the warm thing. I've been so cold."

"You are carrying a half-Jötunn child, so I would assume so. But I have taken care of your discomfort."

"How?"

He whispered, "Magic."

"I hate when you say that. It means you don't want to tell me."

"No more secrets. It was a simple warming spell I have designed for your specific physiology. You are having my child, Darcy Lewis. Your comfort is my top priority. Now sleep. We will speak in the morning."

She wanted to keep talking - there were so many questions - but something strange came over her body and she found herself drifting off against her will.

Next to her, the God of Mischief stared at his hand upon the mortal girl's stomach. He could feel the child inside. Though met with opposition from the less-than-ideal host body, his child was thriving.

With an amused smile on his lips, Loki followed his mortal lover into dreams.

Loki awoke to the feeling of something hitting him in the face. Hard.

Darcy was looming over him with a large metal stick in her hands. It was comparable to the one mortals used in that sport on the television. What was it called…oh yes. Baseball. And the stick was…

His voice was incredulous, "Is that a baseball bat? Did you hit me in the face with a baseball bat?"

She just swung again. He moved and the metal connected with the pillow instead. Then he was standing behind her and the weapon disappeared from her hands.

She was furious, "Give that back! You deserve it! And c'mon, it's only aluminum. Your face doesn't even look slightly dented. It looks…stupidly perfect. In fact, did you get a tan? You weren't in Asgard being punished at all, were you? You were off on some tropical island with buxom natives feeding you grapes while you laid in a hammock because you used the old 'Hey, baby - I'm a god' line."

Loki struggled to understand her ranting, "Darcy, calm down. I cannot tell if stress is making you incomprehensible again, or if you truly have some sort of dementia. Breathe, my love."

"Don't you order me around! I'm not one of your acolytes. I'm…wait. Did you call me my love?"

He smiled gently, "I might have."

She looked offended, "You snake! You little rat-fink bastard of a snowman! You're trying to emotionally manipulate me. Well, that ain't working buddy!"

This was not going as well as Loki had planned. And last night had been so oddly wonderful.

"In order to emotionally manipulate, one must first understand the current emotional state of the potential prey. Right now you are being irrational and incomprehensible. Therefore, it would be futile to attempt to manipulate you emotionally until you start making some sort of sense. And if you must know, I would never use your love for me against you. I would target your lust instead. That one is much more manageable. In fact…"

His voice trailed off as he appraised her from head to toe. She looked tired and drawn, but he still thought her more beautiful than any woman he'd seen. Loki almost sighed aloud with resignation. So it truly was love. He had been holding out hope that he had been mistaken.

Ah well. As they say on Midgard, when life gives one lemons…

"You look tense, Darcy. Shall I run us a bath? Or would you simply like a massage? Full-body, of course. And you can choose which part of my body will do the massaging. I would like to recommend my tongue, but lady's choice."

She looked equal parts aroused and furious. Gods, she was lovely in her anger. Their child would be a hellion. How genuinely delightful!

She still sounded angry, "You can't…no. Absolutely not! You know I've lost five pounds because of you? And not in the good way, like Jenny Craig. I'm pregnant, I shouldn't be losing weight. But I can't keep anything down! And I've been so fucking cold! And you were all the way in Asgard. I didn't know if you'd come back. Or even if you'd be mad or freaked or something. And Tony fucking Stark has seen me throw up! It was horrible."

Her anger was giving way to a desperate sadness and Loki refused to let that happen.

He appeared in front of her and pulled her into his arms. She only put up a token fuss before she was gripping him as tightly as he was her. She'd missed him. Her mouth could rail all it wanted, but her body couldn't lie.

His voice was as much a reprimand as a seduction, "That is in the past. Move on. I am back now and I am not going anywhere. And I am sorry for the distress you have gone through without me. But I will make it up to you." His face softened against his will. "Now kiss me, mortal. For I have thought of little else since I left this realm."

Her voice was weak, "You suck. You really, really suck. I'm not gonna just fall into bed with you at the snap of your fingers. Well, not anymore."

He smirked, "Who said anything about a bed? How uninspired."

He leaned in to kiss her, but her next words caught him off-guard.

"Loki…how did this happen?"

He pulled back and reined in his desire. That was a very serious question. It deserved a serious answer.

"It should not have. Our…biology…is so fundamentally different that procreation should have been impossible. But I am an anomaly myself."

She looked surprised, "Really?"

"I am rather small for my race. Giant is not just a moniker."

"Oh! Huh. I thought…well, size only depends on who's doing the measuring. One man's giant is another man's midget. Or something. That was dumb, wasn't it?"

He'd missed her strange logic, "No, not at all."

"So…complete anomaly baby?"

He considered his words before speaking, "Possibly. I did a bit of xenobiological research when I discovered my true parentage. At the time, I had been King of Asgard and an heir would be a necessity one day. My research was not exhaustive, but I learned enough to know that this was an unlikely occurrence. It should not have happened."

"Should not have happened. But did anyway. Well, that sums up our entire relationship right there. But it was an unlikely occurrence, not an impossible one?"

He gave a wry smile, "No, it obviously was not entirely impossible."

"And you didn't think to plan for a not-impossible occurrence? Doesn't seem like you, Mr. My-Backup-Plans-Have-Backup-Plans."

"I was a bit distracted at the most likely time of conception. If I am correct, you do realize it was all your fault."

She balked, "My fault?"

"Yes, of course. I was being quite careful. But I do believe you took me rather by surprise and I forgot myself."

She looked skeptical, "When?"

"I shall give you a hint. Think…blue."

"Oh…yeah. You think that's when this happened? I know I jumped you, but that's not fair. It takes two to tango, babe. Even Thor always remembers to wear a condom!"

Loki suppressed a shudder of revulsion, "I really do not want to think about that. Though he is involved with a woman of science, so she likely would not let him near her without at least the illusion of protection. She is much too intelligent to want to breed with such a man – and who knows what diseases she could catch. But it is all rather pointless anyway. I do not believe there is a mortal prophylactic strong enough to prevent a god from procreating."

Darcy made a little squeaking noise, "Say prophylactic again. It's funny in your accent." He raised an eyebrow, so she continued, "Never mind. So Trojan doesn't come in 'god-strength'? Yeah, alright. Makes sense, I guess. You guys must be ridiculously potent. Midgardian girls should gird their loins, huh? At least I think. Wait, what does gird actually mean?"

He smiled blandly, "Do you truly care?"

"Not really."

"Then focus, my love."

Darcy swallowed heavily, "Are you gonna keep calling me 'my love'?"

"Do you have a problem with my new title for you?"

"Hell no. Not at all. Just…should I ask? I mean, am I less likely to be emotionally devastated and humiliated if I just let it go without asking? You've never…you didn't say…forget it."

He watched the play of emotions on her face. Telepathy was unnecessary when she projected so clearly.

"Ask me."

She remained silent, staring somewhere over his shoulder.

His voice was teasing, "I said ask me. Coward."

That did it. She met his eyes boldly, "Do you love me?"

He tried not to smile, "Only a fool would love you."

Her eyes widened and she tried to pull away from him. He didn't let her go.

He continued, "Now ask me if I am a fool."

She stopped struggling and stared at him, looking frustrated and confused.

"Fine. I know you're an asshole. But are you also a fool?"

He finally released his smile, "Completely, and in many different ways. It is almost tragic."

She took a moment to process his words. Then she shoved his chest. "Goddammit, Loki! Can't you just say 'I love you, too' like a normal person?"

He laughed, "Of course not. Who do you think you are talking to? Normality is for peasants. That, my love, is why neither of us are particularly normal."

"Neither of us? Did I get an upgrade?"

He smirked, "I am the God of Mischief. The Prince of Asgard. And you are the mother of my child."

"So that's a yes?"

He just reached up to cup her face, running a finger over her bottom lip. Her breath became shaky.

"I am still waiting for my kiss, mortal."

She huffed, "Well you can keep on waiting. I've got questions and I'm not kissing you until I get some answers, because I'll forget and then we'll be naked and that's cheating."

He leaned down, lips ghosting against her own, "I never cheat."

A rumbling noise interrupted his seduction.

"Was that your stomach?"

Darcy just shrugged, unembarrassed, "I'm starving. Perpetually, since none of it stays down. I just keep ping-ponging between hungry and horny. Even more so than before - which is saying something. Pregnancy is a real bitch."

His lips quirked upward in a mischievous grin, "Hungry and horny? I can help with that." A ripe peach appeared in his hand. "See? Now we can both eat."

She took the fruit with a raised brow. "You don't like peaches."

He sank to his knees quickly. "I know. That was not what I wished to dine upon."

In a blink, her clothes were gone. She should be angry at his manipulation, but she figured he'd already warned her that he would use lust against her. And she'd been craving this since he left. Loki always turned her into a kinky wanton tramp.

Settling her thigh over his shoulder, the God of Mischief gave her a very naughty smile, "Brace yourself, sweet girl. Loki is back."

She rolled her eyes, "Goddammit, Loki. Stop being such a melodramatic ass…oh…wow. Never…mind. So glad you're back. So so so glad."

She could literally feel him smirk. Kinky bastard.

There was a familiar voice in her head, "Telepathic use number two. I believe you were alright with it in theory. Although I am very committed to respecting your privacy, I wish to speak with you. However, my mouth is quite busy at the moment, so if you'd rather I stopped…"

Reflexively, Darcy screamed, "No!"

The fact that his mouth was doing naughty things to her naughty parts while his voice still echoed in her head was weird. But they'd done weirder, so she just rolled with it happily. Damn, she missed this. The silver-tongued god, indeed.

His voice rang out again, "I prefer when you scream 'yes'. Or my name. Scream my name, Darcy."

A bit chagrined, she screamed, "Loki! Please. Please don't stop. I'm...please."

She could hear a sinister chuckle in her head. She would get him back for this later. He might be a very cunning linguist, but her own oral dictation skills were quite impressive in their own right. She'd make him beg for it. Later. Because she was too busy begging for it herself at the moment.

His voice demanded, "Tell me you love me."

She didn't even have to think, "I love you."

"Again."

Panting, "I love you."

"Louder!"

Screaming, "I love you! Dammit, Loki. I love you. I love you. Please."

"Good girl."

And he finally found that glorious spot and just fucking attacked it like an animal. She was panting and moaning, and probably begging, but he never relented until she was screaming his name into the ceiling, into the stars. She hazily wondered if they were giving that Heimdall dude a good show.

He brought her down slowly with soft, teasing kisses and slow caresses. Then he helped ease her down next to him on the floor. Which was now covered in a fuzzy rug. Huh. She hoped it wasn't some sort of dead animal, but she wouldn't have really cared at that moment.

He stood up and leaned over her with a smirk, "Now tell me you missed me."

Darcy wanted to hit him and lick him and carry his babies. Then it occurred to her that she had already done two out of three that morning. Trifecta would be nice. Plus, she was completely naked and he was completely dressed. She needed to rectify that little situation.

Without responding to his arrogant command, she scrambled to her knees and lunged for the stupid fastening on his stupid pants, trying to get them off him as quickly as possible. He just let her have at it while he watched half-confused, half-fascinated.

"Do not let me stop you, Darcy. But what are you doing?"

She was able to get his pants undone and tugged them down in one frantic jerk. His smile grew. She gripped him in her fist and then leaned back on her heels.

Then she gave him a coy smile, "Loki, baby? It's your turn."

She could see him struggling to maintain his unaffected air, "Is it now?"

She gave him a long, slow lick. Then she pulled back again, laughing as his hips bucked forward slightly in an attempt to follow her wicked mouth.

Now her smile was pure minx, "Loki? Say my name."

He stared at her for a few moments and then threw his head back and laughed.

"Oh Darcy. I have missed you."

She rewarded that with another long lick, with that little swirl at the end that always made him grunt. It had always amused her to hear the normally unflappable god make such undignified noises. She fucking loved it!

She pulled back again and could see the strain on his face.

She teased, "Now tell me you love me."

Suddenly, there was a hand on her shoulder and then she was standing, pressed up against the wall. Loki gripped her thighs and lifted, and Darcy instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. That had all happened so fast, she was a bit confused.

Her voice was hesitant, "Loki?"

He just smiled and positioned himself, "Shh…sweet girl. I just want to be inside you when I say this."

Darcy felt her heart skip – that was borderline romantic coming from Loki's lips. Then he slid inside her - finally. They both felt a strange weight lift off their chests at the reunion of their bodies.

Eyes locked, he lowered his mouth and whispered against her lips, "I love you, too."

Then his lips were on hers and his tongue was in her mouth – she could taste herself mingled with that ridiculously yummy Loki-flavor that she'd missed so badly. His naughty tongue mimicked the slow slide of their lower bodies – in and out, in and out. Too slow. She needed…damn, she just needed.

Twisting her head to the side, she panted, "Faster. Please, Loki. I've needed this so bad."

His voice was a promise, "Whatever you need. Always."

And Loki was right – they never actually made it to the bed that night. The wall and the armrest of the couch and the kitchen counter and the shower – well, they were much more inspired.

A/N: Many thanks to my new beta (I actually have one of those now, so expect to see less typos!) angel17712! You are amazing!