Moving is infinitely easier when you have a magical boyfriend. She couldn't really lug heavy boxes around anymore, so it would have meant either, A) having Tony pay someone to do it, B) playing the damsel card so Steve would do it, or C) ordering enough pizza to feed a small country so Thor would do it. Luckily, all she had to do was flash him and Loki magicked her stuff back where it belonged. He was both handy and handsy.

Even though it was weird, she felt relieved to be back in her tiny apartment. She and Loki had fallen into a sort of routine before he left for Asgard, and Darcy found herself desperate to get back to that level of contentment. And since everyone knew now, the guilty prickles at her conscience were all gone. It was like having her cake and eating it too.

Mmm…cake.

Anyway, Loki was back, everyone knew they were together, and the world hadn't ended. All in all, her life was pretty good.

The sound of the door buzzer made Darcy jump a bit. She hurried over and pressed the button for the intercom, "S'up?"

"Hey, it's Jane. Can I come up?"

This was unexpected. And Jane never did anything unexpected. Darcy pressed the button to unlock the front door and waited impatiently for Jane to trudge up to her floor.

Darcy threw the door open as soon as she heard the first knock to find Jane standing there with her fist still raised and a flustered smile on her face. Smiling was good.

"Darcy! Loki just popped over to our place, so I figured you'd be alone today. I brought goodies!" Jane held up a plastic bag.

Stepping back to let her in, Darcy replied, "Goodies? Please say they are of the edible variety."

"Of course!" Jane walked in and handed the bag over to the unreasonably exited Darcy.

"Häagen-Dazs! YES!"

Jane laughed, "Figured I couldn't go wrong there. Are you free today?"

"For the lady who brought ice cream? Are you kidding?"

"It's just-" Jane cut herself off and Darcy turned her eyes away from the pints of gloriousness in her hand.

Suddenly serious, Darcy asked, "Hey. What's wrong?"

Jane smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes, "Darcy, we're friends, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

Jane continued, "Then promise you won't get mad at me?"

Darcy felt herself tensing, "I can't make any promises. When people say that, it usually means you're gonna get mad. But I can try."

Jane nodded, "Ok, I just need to ask. Are you sure you're doing the right thing?"

Darcy had been expecting this conversation. She knew Jane meant well, but it still pissed her off. She tried to stay calm – she needed to show Jane she was serious and certain.

"Yeah, I am. With Loki and with the baby. I know you don't like him, but I love him. And even though I'm terrified about being a mother, I'm not in it alone. Loki really is on board with the whole baby thing. It's kinda weird. Or not, I guess. If you think about it, our kid will be our actual family. Blood and stuff. That's a bit of a novelty for both of us."

Jane's smile was bittersweet, "And you really love him?"

Genuinely confused, Darcy asked, "Why does everyone find this so unbelievable? Of course I love him!"

"I told you not to get mad. It's just really unexpected. You have to admit that you and Loki together is pretty weird."

Darcy raised her brow, "Weirder then you and Thor?"

Jane seemed surprised, "Well, that's different."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"Well, Thor's not a…he's a….," Jane was too flustered to find the right words.

"Good guy." Darcy finished for her. "And Loki's the bad guy, right? He's evil. And I'm the stupid girl who got herself knocked up with his kid."

Jane looked contrite, "No! Darcy, that wasn't what I was thinking at all. You're not stupid and Loki isn't evil. He's just…complicated. Really complicated. I just wanted to make sure you know what you've gotten yourself into. And we haven't spent time together in so long. I thought it was my fault for getting so caught up with Thor and neglecting you. But, thinking back on it – you were the one with the excuses for not wanting to hang out. I should've caught on sooner. You were having an affair with my boyfriend's brother and I didn't even notice! I'm a terrible friend, Darcy. I'm so sorry. I don't know if you've had anyone to talk to about all this. I understand why you didn't think you could come to me, but I would've helped you. Promise me that you'll come to me in the future anytime you need someone."

Darcy blamed the pregnancy hormones for the tears that were starting to leak out. She was so pathetic. She threw her arms around Jane.

"I'm sorry, too! I should've told you. It was just so intense and scary and perfect. It was like a dream in the beginning. At first, I just thought Loki and I were gonna be some sort of weird friends. But then there was a whole lot of naked time, and…yeah. Before I knew it, I was in too deep and not really caring. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I was just so scared that you wouldn't understand or you'd hate me. Or worse, you'd tell people and it would all be over. But I promise, I was going to tell you! Loki and I were going to tell everyone as soon as he got back from Asgard. But then the bump happened and, well, plans got expedited a bit."

Jane pulled back, "Hey, calm down. It's ok. We're both sorry. And a bit on the pathetic side right now. It's just that you're my best friend and I want to make sure you're ok. I love you."

Darcy couldn't stop the tears after that little speech. "Oh, Jane. I love you too! But not in the sexy way."

Jane let out a little laugh, "Well, I'm sure that's a relief to Loki. Your boyfriend. That's still going to take a while to wrap my head around."

Wiping her nose on her sleeve like the classy dame she was, Darcy answered, "Tell me about it. Even I can't believe Loki and I are an actual couple. It seems so ordinary."

"Trust me, there's nothing ordinary about it."

Darcy gave her a little shove, "Hey, none of that sass talk. Now are you gonna help me eat this ice cream or just watch as the pregnant lady shovels calories down her throat?"

"Well…I was hoping to have some myself. But it might be hazardous to my health to try and get any of that away from you. Did you know you're actually stroking the carton?"

Darcy blinked and looked down at her hands. Would you look at that. Looking back up at Jane, she smirked, "Well, what can I say? I like stroking cold, yummy things."

Jane knew there was an innuendo in there, but she didn't want to find it.

Darcy continued, "And you know what happens now?"

Jane suddenly looked a bit scared, "Um, no."

"Girl talk!"

Darcy grabbed two spoons from the drawer and pulled Jane over to the couch.

Darcy smiled slyly, "So…what's Thor like in bed?"

Jane's eyes bugged out a bit. "Darcy!"

"What? C'mon, we're dating brothers. That's crazy! It's practically girl-law that we dish on the dudes. Now tell me something scandalous."

Jane shook her head emphatically, "No. I'm not talking about my sex life with you no matter how many times you ask. Just because you're with Loki now doesn't change that."

Darcy sighed, "Fine, I can see you're new at the whole girl-talk thing. So, I'll go first. Let's see…oh! Well, have you ever noticed how nice Loki's hands are? He's got the sexiest hands ever. Nimble fingers, too. Strong but flexible – well, ok that's a good way to describe his whole body. But, he's got big hands, and you know what they-"

"Darcy! We're not talking about this! I don't want to hear about Loki's hands or his…whatever you were going to talk about."

Darcy cracked a mischievous grin, "You mean his penis?"

Jane's face was hilarious, "Darcy! Stop it!"

"Oh, Jane. If you're not old enough to say it, you shouldn't be touching it. C'mon, we're all adults here. I know you get groiny with your own Asgardian god. I'm the only other person you can talk to about this who'll actually understand!"

Jane was blushing. It was kind of adorable. "I can't."

Darcy shrugged, "Fine. I'll talk and you can listen. I'm sure eventually you'll hit that point where you feel compelled to share."

Jane just shoved a huge bite of ice cream in her mouth.

Darcy continued, "So, as I was going to say, Loki is pretty spectacularly proportioned. I mean, he's a tall guy – but still. And he's got quite the oral fixation. Seriously, people should be building a shrine to his tongue. God of Mischief, Lies and My Ladyparts."

Jane's face was so red, it looked like she might spontaneously combust. "Darcy, stop. Please. This is way too awkward."

Darcy had to laugh, "Oh, man. You think this is awkward. Try sleeping with someone who thinks it's funny to shape shift mid-boink."

Jane's jaw dropped open, "He did what?"

"Oh, not while he was actually inside me or anything. But we'd be playing tonsil hockey and I'd pull back to be looking at completely random people. It freaked me out. He would just laugh his ass off. Luckily, I got him to stop that."

Jane looked like she didn't really want to know but had to ask anyway, "How?"

"Oh, well it was all a game to him. And he only stops playing when it's not fun anymore. I just called him out on something and he stopped."

"What did you say to him?"

"Just that he never turned into Thor. And how I certainly wouldn't mind if he decided to go beefy and blond one night."

Jane looked uncomfortable, "Um."

"Oh, no! I don't want Thor. I mean, he's pretty and everything. But Loki's ruined me for everyone else. I was just trying to piss him off. He got all angry and smoldery and 'Darcy, you are mine' and stuff. He gets jealous over the weirdest things. But the make-up sex was hot. Like thermonuclear hot. Especially because he was proving a point. Anyway, he's usually just himself these days. Or a few selves."

Jane looked equal parts disturbed and curious, "Selves?"

"Oh, yeah. He says I have 'privacy issues'. Pfft. And even if I did, I would totally deserve to have them. He was a creepy invisible stalker for a little while. Not to mention all those bugs!"

"Bugs?"

Darcy caught herself before she revealed anything that would totally piss her friend off to know, like the fact that there were planted devices in her home and little men that listened to her and her boyfriend doing the dirty. "Never mind. Where was I?"

"You were telling me things I don't really want to know about Loki and you and selves. Plural."

"Oh, yeah. Well, in order to get me over my nonexistent privacy issues, sometimes he makes doubles and has them watch. Not often, but every once in a while. It used to freak me out, but now it's kinda sexy. I mean, it's nice to be able to see his face no matter our position. And we do a lot of positions. You wouldn't think it to look at him, but he's pretty damn flexible. We're working our way through the Kama Sutra. I mean, we have to wait until the bump is born to do some of the more gymnast-level positions, but you know. Although I keep telling him that once the baby is born, sexytime shenanigans will probably happen less often. Did you know that newborns shouldn't go longer than four hours without breastfeeding? Four hours! Talk about needy."

Jane was still trying to process, "It's good that you're learning about the baby stuff. And…I'm sorry. I'm still stuck on the idea of more than one Loki. I've seen his doubles, but that just seems…wrong. Not that I'm judging!"

Darcy chuckled, "You? Judge? Never. Because that would be awful hypocritical of you after I was so supportive of your impossible love with the man who fell from the sky."

Jane bit her lip, "Right. Well, I just like sex to be sex. Me and Thor and that's it."

Darcy looked delighted, "Yes! I got you to talk about sex! You actually said the word, too! See, that wasn't so bad."

Jane gave her a begrudging smile, "Very funny. And I'm really glad he never turned into Thor while you two were…you know."

Darcy smiled, "Yeah, me too. Now he's just Loki. Or occasionally me."

Jane blinked. Her voice sounded odd, "What?"

"What, what?"

"Occasionally you?"

Darcy caught on, "Oh! Yeah. Sometimes he's me. And sometimes there's 'me' doubles that do naughty things to the 'him' doubles. It's pretty cool."

Jane seemed dumbfounded, "Doubles are one thing - and I don't really want to think about them anymore - but, he's you? As in, he turns into you and then you guys…get intimate?"

"Well, just once. I was having one of those days where I felt hideous and ended up ranting a bit. I think he was trying to cheer me up actually. It was his weird little way of showing me how 'sexy' I am by literally showing me how sexy I am. Kinda sweet."

Jane still seemed shocked, "You had sex with yourself?"

"Well, not technically. I mean, I don't have the right equipment for that to actually work. But I do have a tongue. And he's skilled with many tongues – like a UN interpreter. I mean, it was kinda weird and vaguely narcissistic. I wonder if it would count as masturbation? I mean, it was technically him but it was still sorta me. Eh, whatever. It was fun. And I don't really get turned on by tatas, but it was Loki under there, so…yup. I'd go lesbo for Loki – but only for Loki. I guess that's how you know it's really love, right?"

Jane shook her head, "Love is patient. Love is kind. I don't remember the line about love being open to lesbian sex if your boyfriend becomes a woman."

"I think it was in the first draft, but some prude edited it out."

Jane looked like she was either going to laugh or run screaming, "Darcy, that's way too much information. I'm never going to be able to look Loki in the eye ever again!"

Darcy gave her a patronizing look, "Jane, Jane, Jane. Sex should be fun. It's fun to mess around the gender roles a little bit. Loki's very secure in his masculinity, so it's all good. I think you and Thor could do with a little more kink in your lives. Although Thor does seem to have 'I'm the big, strong man' syndrome. Don't tell me he's a missionary every time kind of guy. That's so boring! Does he ever let you be on top?"

Jane's face was leaning more towards the 'run screaming' option now, "Darcy! I'm not talking about this."

Darcy nodded sagely, "Of course you're not. If my sex life was boring, I wouldn't want to talk about it either."

"It's not boring! It's amazing! Thor is amazing! You can't even-" She caught herself as she watched Darcy's grin grow wider.

Chuckling, Darcy said, "No, keep going! It was just getting to the good part!"

Jane groaned, "You goaded me into that. I can't believe I let you. Loki is such a bad influence on you – that was mean."

"Hey, you know I'm teasing. I just wanted to make sure Thor treats you right. You deserve a guy who makes you feel…the way Loki makes me feel, I guess. Now keep telling me about how good Thor is in bed. He seems like a grunter to me."

Jane dropped her face into her hands, "Darcy…there's something wrong with you."

"It's called being pregnant. All I want to do is eat and touch Loki, possibly at the same time. I've got the ice cream here, but no Loki. So I have to make do with you. Talk, woman! Or else I can start talking again. I haven't even mentioned the anti-gravity sex."

Jane sighed and gave her a calculating look. She seemed to come to some sort of internal decision. She scooped up a big bite of the melting ice cream and said, "Well mention it then."

Damn, Jane was learning how to play Darcy's game. Ah well. Darcy certainly didn't mind sharing. "Well, he's a sorcerer alien sex-god. So the laws of gravity are pretty optional as far as he's concerned. It's actually a bit more awkward than you'd think. It's hard to get a good rhythm going since you have to keep fighting against your own momentum. Still pretty fun though. Especially when-"

Loki appeared in the middle of the living room. Jane blushed beet red and Darcy started snickering. Loki stared at Jane for a few seconds before turning to Darcy.

"Hello, my love. Having a good time?"

Still laughing she replied, "Not bad. Just some girl-talk."

"I see. Would you like me to return later?"

Jane stood up quickly, "No! You should stay. I'm gonna go home."

Darcy stood up with her, "No, Jane. Please stay. Loki won't bite."

He chimed in, "Not unless you ask me to, of course."

Jane made an odd choking noise, "No, really. I think it's better for my sanity if I go home now and try to forget everything I've heard tonight."

Loki looked delighted, "Darcy! What have you been telling her?"

Darcy walked over to him and slid her arms around his neck, "Just some of the highlights."

He smiled warmly, "Hmm…you were merely telling her? You should have shown her one of the videos we have made together. You know how I believe everything is better with a visual."

Darcy leaned up to kiss him, but a throat clearing caught her attention.

Jane stood near the door looking uncomfortable. "I'm going now. But I'll call you later, Darcy. We should do this again sometime. Well, not this exactly because I think I may be traumatized. But it was really good to see you." She shifted her gaze and sent a forced smile at the God of Mischief. "It was good seeing you too, Loki."

"Always a pleasure, Miss Foster."

Darcy added, "Bye, Jane. Remember what I said about letting him be the bottom for once. Girl power."

Jane just shook her head and left without another word.

Loki smirked down at Darcy, "What were you telling her?"

Darcy laughed, "Just some of our kinkier encounters. I think she might be jealous. She must have already realized that I've got the hotter, smarter brother. But now she knows you're also better in bed."

Loki's smirk grew, "Favorable comparisons to my brother will get you nowhere."

Darcy's face turned a bit more serious, "Did you have a good time with Thor?"

Loki pressed a kiss to her hairline and hummed, "I suppose. Though good might be stretching the truth a bit. The ease with which Thor used to interact with me is still missing. But I believe we may get it back. One day. Are you and Jane also well?"

"I think so. She brought ice cream!"

Loki rolled his eyes, "You do so love your frozen Midgardian treats."

Her smile turned cheeky, "I like things that are cold and sweet."

He didn't look flattered, "I certainly hope you did not just infer that I am sweet. Candy is sweet. Little girls in pink dresses are sweet. Kittens are sweet. I am not sweet."

Darcy just placed a kiss on his jawline, giving it a little nip at the end. "I beg to differ, babe. You are very sweet. Now give us some sugar."

She tugged his head down and kissed him until he stopped complaining.

He was so totally sweet.