Her body felt weird. Not painful - Loki saw to that – but weird. Alien. She could feel her insides expanding to accommodate the new guest, and her bladder had become smaller than that poor lady in the Detrol commercial (gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now). Except less funny, because it was her.

It might have felt more natural if it actually hurt. But since Loki had done his tingly-warm numbing spell of wonder, it felt like when the dentist novocaines your gums and you rub your tongue along it. You can tell that something is there, but you can't feel it. Not really. Though when she tried to explain to Jane that Loki novocained her uterus, Jane had just assumed that was a good thing. And it was. Prior to Loki's return, Darcy had been in more discomfort than she had been letting on about – Tony was stressed enough and she was already seeing the best doctor money could buy. But now – now that she could actually see the bump – well, she kinda wished she could feel it too. Especially because she was nearing the kicking stage. Or well, she thought she was. And the idea that something could be moving inside you without your consent was both cool and horrifying.

Although, Darcy had a hunch that she wouldn't have been alive right now if Loki hadn't magicked her belly. She knew he did more than just numb her. Before he bespelled her, she had been getting colder and colder, her internal temp dropping too low. And puking her guts out hadn't been fun either. Morning sickness her ass – that had been morning/noon/night sickness. Granted, now that she was in the second trimester it would have probably passed anyway. Although, with her little-Loki, who knew? This wasn't like any pregnancy Dr. Spock had ever written about. She knew it wasn't, because she read that book. She read all the damn books she could get her hands on - 'What to Expect When You're Expecting,' 'The Pregnancy Bible,' 'The Mother of All Pregnancy Books,' and 'The Pregnancy Countdown.' She tried to get Loki to read 'The Expectant Father' but he hocus-pocused it into 'Grimm Brothers' Fairy Tales' and said that would be more appropriate reference material for their offspring. Very funny, asshole.

But Loki could do what he wanted, because she was going into this prepared. Hell, she even bought a dvd for prenatal yoga! Not that she did it or anything, but she spent money on it. That had to count for something. But Darcy realized there were still a few minor things she hadn't done yet. Or, well, super-major-fucking-important things. One: tell her parents she was preggo. Two: Introduce Loki to her hopefully-not-homicidal parents. Three: Build up the courage to ask Loki about the birthing process – because she had a feeling it wasn't going to be like the end of 'Nine Months' where Robin Williams runs around doing slapstick and there's some heaving and grunting and out pops a baby. Hell, it probably wasn't going to be like they'd described it in the books either - which may or may not be a good thing since some of the stuff she'd read was weird. Although, when she'd been doing her research on home birthing (it would presumably be safer all around if they weren't somewhere public when the child of the man who tried to enslave the Earth was born) she'd read about something called orgasmic birthing – now that sounded like something she could get behind. She had bookmarked those pages for later research even though some of them made childbirth sound too pornographic-naughty-kinky even for her. And that was saying something.

Speaking of pornographic, Darcy was currently standing in front of the mirror on the closet door in nothing but her panties trying to become one with the baby bump. She had finally "popped" – and what a stupid-ass expression that was. It was a cutesy way of saying that instead of looking like she'd hit the Chinese buffet one too many times, she was more obviously in the family way. Whatever. Try as she might, she couldn't even focus on the bump. Her goddamn fucking huge Pam Anderson tits were too distracting. She'd always been mammarily blessed, but now it was just getting ridiculous. Of course Loki liked it, but her back was stiff enough. She did not need the extra weight on the front side of her body – she would tip right over one day and then her stupid sexy boyfriend would laugh at her (after making sure she didn't harm the progeny of course).

So she was ready for the pregnancy. She was almost (maybe, hopefully, probably not) ready for the birth. What she categorically was not ready for was the after part.

She would be someone's mom.

She was one of the least mature people she knew, and she was going to be responsible for a completely helpless, highly breakable, possibly blue, little person. There weren't enough 'Hang in there, baby' posters in the entire world to make her accept that one sitting down. And Loki was going to be her wingman. Loki. Now don't get her wrong, she loved him. There was a very finite list of things she wouldn't do for him. If she had to get knocked up by someone, she was glad it had been him and not, say, Steve – even though the Cap would seem like the safer bet to anyone but her. But Loki was…Loki. He was amazing and complicated and could do whatever he wanted. Have whatever he wanted. And for some inexplicable reason, he wanted her.

But Loki as a daddy? That was a mindfuck of epic proportions.

Although the image of him decked out in full Asgardian regalia with a Baby Bjorn strapped to his chest would probably make her life complete. Especially if he wore the helmet. She wondered if their kid would get a cool helmet too. Thor and Odin also had one, so it was a family thing. Her baby's weird animal-themed helmet better be cool looking. Loki's was so fucking badass. (And the horny puns were an eternal source of entertainment for her.)

But still – he would be a dad. And she would be a mom. Mum. Mother. Madre. Mamma. Mommy. Fuck, that's really terrifying. She had enough trouble keeping her cactus alive. A baby?

Panic. Pure, unadulterated panic. Pregnancy was one thing – one scary, life-changing thing. But motherhood?

She walked on autopilot to the bed and sat down with a hitching little sob. She had to calm down. If Loki came home to her having a full-on meltdown, that wouldn't be so good. Naked and pathetic, with snot dripping down her face wasn't the look she wanted that man to ever see from her. Well, see from her again. Though she had to give him credit, he rolled with her emotional roller-coastering better than you'd think.

Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Wasn't. Fucking. Working.

They would make the most dysfunctional family since…well, ok – since Loki's family. That wasn't comforting though. The words of a poem she'd read in high school drifted across her mind. She only remembered it because it was full of cursing, and that was infinitely cool to a seventeen year-old (or current twenty-three year-old, whatever). Right now though – it was devastatingly poignant.

'They fuck you up, your mum and dad/They may not mean to, but they do./They fill you with the faults they had/And add some extra, just for you.'

Darcy rubbed the bump with a sigh. She really hoped there wasn't any truth in that. Because if so...

Damn, was their kid screwed.

Loki watched from the shadows as Darcy broke down in sobs on the bed. He was doing his level best to keep her body well, but her emotional state was beyond his control. He knew that hormone fluctuation and the general upheaval her life had undergone were partially to blame. But he also knew that she found the prospect of motherhood daunting. He wished he could go to her – wrap his arms around his new family and tell her everything would be alright. But he had promised not to lie to her.

What kind of father would he make? Just look at the role models he'd had – Odin stole him and lied to him for his entire life. And Laufey was a true monster, for reasons that had nothing to do with his race.

Loki supposed he should find comfort in the fact that he could do no worse than his own paternal influences. But still, the God of Mischief could offer no comfort today.

There was a conversation long overdue. Two conversations, actually. Father and son truly needed to talk – words both brutal and honest. But Odin would have to wait until Loki had convinced Darcy to travel with him to Asgard. Perhaps they would accompany Thor when he brought Jane. Not only would that take some of the attention off of the spectacle he and his pregnant lover were sure to make – it would also take some of the attention off of Thor. And any excuse to steal his brother's thunder…well, it appealed.

And speaking of Thor, that was the other conversation that needed to occur. There were a few things that needed to be said between the brothers. And one particular thing that needed to be shown.

But first, a drink.

With one last look at the girl on the bed, Loki sent himself to Tony's.

As soon as he arrived, Loki knew that Tony wasn't home. Rationally, he knew that he should not be annoyed at Tony's absence – the visit was unexpected. But he was. Tony's amusingly unwarranted narcissism and glib tongue would have been welcome distractions from the task ahead of him.

Ah well. It would be a shame to let good scotch go to waste. It was just sitting in that bottle, intoxicating no one. He was doing everyone a favor by helping himself to a glass. Or the rest of the bottle.

Loki eased himself into Tony's chair and propped his feet up on the desk. Closing his eyes, he mulled over the trajectory his life had taken of late. It seemed that he was constantly abandoning his plans on the very cusp of completion – world domination, making amends with his father, and so on. Was he becoming fickle or was fate simply determined to thwart him at every turn? For some reason, the latter was a more comforting option.

Time passed, but Loki gave it no notice.

Pouring himself another glass, he justified the excessive alcohol consumption as mere fortitude. Or what Darcy would call 'liquid courage.' He would meet with his brother today and show him his true face. It needed to be done. Thor only knew of his Jötunn heritage in words and ideas – he needed to look Loki in the eye and decide just what they were to one another. As much as Thor had grown lately, centuries of being conditioned to believe that Frost Giants were lesser beings in every way – vermin to be exterminated – may prove to be too much to overcome. Loki himself still loathed his Jötunn blood. Only Darcy…

He left her crying. He hoped that was not an omen of things to come.

Focusing, Loki reasoned that Thor would be with Jane Foster at the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility. That presented a problem. If this encounter was going to go badly, Loki was not sure he wanted witnesses. Still, the likelihood that someone would panic at the sight of his true face had the potential to be quite humorous.

One last bracing shot and Loki sent himself to his brother.

He took a moment before corporealizing completely to assess his surroundings. He was in the middle of some sort of S.H.I.E.L.D. meeting. He had the feeling it had been in progress for just a bit longer than the attention span of the audience could last. This certainly explained where Tony had gone – the poor man was wearing his dark glasses in an attempt to hide the fact that he was taking a light nap. Loki figured that he would be doing the man another favor today by livening things up.

Standing on top of the table around which the group had converged, Loki made himself visible and enjoyed the scream (actual scream) that escaped Jane's lips.

He kept his voice neutral, "Am I interrupting anything?"

Tony let out an odd wheezing snore as he jolted awake due to Jane's epic lung capacity. "Whuuu? Huh? What's going on?" Tony looked around and noticed the new arrival. "Oh. Hey Loki."

Fury's voice wasn't pleased, "Yes. You are interrupting. So unless you have anything of use to contribute, you should take yourself elsewhere."

Loki's voice was droll, "You know, Nick? I'm starting to get the impression that you do not like me very much. How odd."

"Brother!" Loki turned to look at Thor. "I am glad that you are making such an effort to be part of this team. Come, sit by me."

Loki smiled at the innocent expression on Thor's face. Would he still look at him like that once he had seen what lurked beneath the surface? Only one way to find out.

"Sorry, brother. I did not come here to join your little band of heroes. There is something I must show you."

Thor's face became serious. "What is it, brother? Is something the matter? Is Darcy unwell?"

"Calm yourself. There is no new tragedy. I simply decided that it was time to show you my true face."

Loki could sense the crowd around him growing tense, but ignored them. He was here for Thor and nothing more.

Thor looked confused and Loki found a strange comfort in the familiarity of that expression on his brother's face. "I am afraid I do not understand what you mean."

Loki's smile was sharp, "You know that I am Jötunn."

Enlightenment poured over Thor's features. "Loki, you have nothing to prove to me. I do not need to see whatever you are trying to show me. If you need me to see, I will. But do not cause yourself pain to ease a wound that is not there. You are my brother, Loki. Flesh and blood can be destroyed, but not the bond I have with you. You know this. You feel it too. If you did not, I would be dead and gone by now."

Loki kept his face expressionless and did not allow himself to feel the impact of Thor's declaration. They were just words. And while words had power, they also had the ability to exist without foundation. As the God of Lies, Loki knew the frailty of words better than anyone.

Loki tried to distract himself from what he was about to do by speculating about the volume of the scream that would leave Jane's lips after this little occurrence. Focusing, Loki let the illusion that had become an intrinsic part of him slip away to reveal the cold and the cobalt.

Jane did not scream. No one screamed. No one breathed.

Thor took an instinctive step back, but his face was unreadable.

Voice barely above a whisper, Loki demanded, "Call me brother now."

There was a pause and its length felt interminable to Loki. He needed Thor to say something. Anything.

Thor's voice was a bit shaky, "Well, you are still my little brother. Literally. Even as a Frost Giant, you are smaller than me."

What?

Loki's eyebrow rose so high it nearly merged with his hairline, "That is your reaction? You say that I am small?"

Thor's attempt at a smile failed miserably, "Well, you are also blue. But Jane has taught me that one does not just point out the flaws of others." Thor seemed to immediately regret his word choice and hastily blurted, "Not that I think you are flawed! I am not saying that your skin is akin to a birth defect. I promise I am not."

Birth defect? That actually stung a bit. But Thor was trying. That simple fact was enough for Loki to forgive anything tactless that was sure to fall from his lips.

Loki was considering his next words - he'd not yet decided whether he would aim to goad or to thank. But he was interrupted as the door opened and a familiar figure wandered into the room.

It had taken Darcy almost an hour to stop her sadgirl tears of fear and failure. Needing company, she cleaned herself up and headed to S.H.I.E.L.D. – Jane would be there. Or Tony. Or Pepper. Or Steve. Or fucking anybody. Cause who knew where Loki was? Not her, that's who.

The trip over was nice. She loved that she no longer had to deal with the trials and tribulations of public transportation. When Tony Stark offers to have a car service pick you up whenever your boyfriend can't poof you someplace, you say yes.

Walking into the nondescript building, flashing her ID at people who obviously knew who the hell she was, wandering aimlessly – no Jane. She asked a random soldier boy and he pointed her in the direction of the briefing room. Hmm…she hoped nothing bad was happening. She knew everyone would keep her out of the loop because of the bump – as if a little bit of bad news would make her spontaneously go into premature labor. Like she was that easily ruffled. Pfft!

She nodded to the guards at the door and they let her in reluctantly.

As she walked in, she felt like someone had hit the pause button. No one was talking or moving or…anything that connoted they were living people. And Loki was…blue. Loki was blue! Why was Loki blue? Why didn't he tell her he was going blue? She loved when he went blue!

Darcy felt herself get inappropriately aroused. And she couldn't even blame it on the pregnancy hormones this time. Damn.

She needed to cool off. Sweet tea. She wanted sweet tea. She wasn't sure if it was a pregnancy craving or just a Darcy craving, but she wanted it. Right fucking now.

She knew Loki would get it for her since he had been the one to laugh at her caffeine avoidance (demigods play by different rules apparently - but she still wasn't risking regular coffee just in case). So it would be all good except Loki was blue and everyone was staring at him in muted horror. Well, except Thor who was trying not to look horrified and was coming off as constipated. It was pretty funny.

She hated to break up the awkward-fest, but she had a craving. Turning to Loki, she said, "Sweet tea."

He raised a brow, "Is that some form of endearment?"

"Oh! No. I want sweet tea. Tea that is sweet. And not, you know, McDonald's 99¢ per gallon bunk. I want authentic shit. I want it to taste like flannel and banjos. I want it to have been made by someone born and raised below the Mason-Dixon line. We clear?"

Loki still looked confused, "Not particularly."

Darcy sighed, "I have a craving for sweet tea. It's a southern drink thing. It's just tea and obscene amounts of sugar and possibly the tears of an old man in a rocking chair on a porch. I want that. Go get it for me."

Now it was Loki's turn to sigh, "How much do you desire?"

Darcy's smile was blinding, "A lot. A gallon maybe?"

"Fine. But sit down while I am gone."

Darcy was so pleased that he was getting her drink that she ignored his mothering. In fact, she was so pleased that she also ignored the audience and threw her arms around him for a quick kiss. Well, maybe there was a little tongue…but she was only human. And the cold thing was so wickedly fun. He pulled back, shook his head and disappeared. Her arms fell back to her sides with no yummy Loki-shoulders to hold them up. Shame. But sweet tea!

Humming to herself, Darcy plopped down in the nearest unoccupied chair. It was then that she became aware of the silence around her. Everyone was now staring at her with the muted horror expressions.

"Umm…is there something on my face?"

Jane finally spoke, "You kissed him!"

Darcy blinked, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Yeah. You've seen me kiss him before. What's with the look?"

Jane practically shouted, "But he was blue!"

Yes. He had been blue. She still didn't see what the big deal was. Loki was a Frost Giant.

"Yeah, so?"

Jane just kept staring at her like she'd grown another head. Darcy surreptitiously checked both of her shoulders just in case - no extra head. So what was the problem?

Thor answered for the seemingly speechless Jane, "You displayed affection toward my brother while he was in his Jötunn form. That is…unexpected."

Oh! Darcy tried to look at it from their point of view. This might have been the first time any of them had seen blue-Loki. She remembered being a bit thrown by it herself. Aroused but thrown. Well, more aroused than thrown. Especially after she touched him and…mmm.

Focusing, she answered, "Ooohhhh. I see. Well, yeah he was blue. He gets that way sometimes. But I like it. His tongue gets all sorts of cold and naughty and sexy. Trust me, the blue thing is fucking awesome. Which could be how I got into this little bit of mischief in the first place." Darcy gestured to the bump.

Tony addressed her, "You fucked Papa Smurf?"

Well, that was rude. Although…Loki was pretty comparable in the pigment department. Huh.

Thor cut in, "What Tony meant to say was that he is surprised that you have been intimate with Loki in his other form."

Tony gave Thor a look, "Yeah, but my way was funnier."

Jane sounded a bit unsteady, "You mean you…when he's like that?"

Darcy felt her lips turning up into a smirk. She guessed she'd forgotten to cover Jötunn sex during their little girl-talk. "Sure. It's mindbogglingly good. Like 'oohhh baby, spank me harder' good." Darcy was thoroughly enjoying the looks of fascinated revulsion on everyone's faces, so she simply had to continue. "You ever have a blue raspberry popsicle? An epically big popsicle. Now picture taking said popsicle and sticking it-."

Loki returned. Still blue, but holding a pitcher of tea. Like, an actual pitcher. Weird.

He placed the pitcher on the table in front of Darcy and conjured a glass with a wave of his hand. "Here you are, my love. An elderly mortal woman gave it to me. Well, she screamed and ran - but I believe that was an invitation. And I assure you, I was in the southern section of this country."

Darcy poured a huge glass, but paused with it on its way to her lips. "She ran from you? Oh. You know you're still blue, right?"

He smirked before looking down at his hand as if shocked, "Well that explains it."

Darcy snorted, "Colorist. Wait, that sounds like a hair dresser. Speciesist – no wait, xenophobe? Fuck it, we'll just say she was racist." Darcy took a huge chug and actually made the post-drink throat clearing 'ahh' noise of happiness and refreshment. "Oh this is good. Thank you, babe!"

"You are welcome."

Loki looked around at the room of people all staring at them like they were freaks – well, like he was a freak and Darcy was a freak by extension. Why? Because she saw his true self and did not cringe, did not run or scream? Even his brother had backed away. His brother – who knew what Jötunn looked like and should have expected such. No, Thor should have expected worse.

Darcy had never run from him. She had only truly feared him once, but he had given her reason to do so. And people wondered why he loved her. Also, with Darcy here, his mood had lightened considerably. Everyone was bothered by his appearance, but there was humor to be found in their discomfort. Let them be bothered.

He once again turned to his brother, "So, Thor. I believe we were discussing whether or not you could still accept me as a brother despite my birth defect."

He noticed Darcy's eyes widen.

Thor seemed a bit thrown. Loki wondered what had transpired in the minute he was gone.

"Loki, I must admit that your current form is somewhat disconcerting. You know as well as I that we were raised on the stories of the evil of Frost Giants. But, you are my brother. Though I will not follow that up with a reassuring handclasp until I am certain my skin will not freeze and wither at your touch."

Well, that was about as good as Loki could have expected from Thor. Tactless and mildly insulting – but accepting. Loki couldn't prevent a pleasant warmth from easing through his veins. He let the blue fade and watched as Thor relaxed at the more familiar face in front of him.

"Thor, I am not exactly a novice in the magical arts. You can touch me in whatever form I am in without ill effects. Though I have been told that my skin is a bit frostier in my Jötunn form."

Tony snorted, "We know, you kinky motherfucker."

Loki gave Tony a questioning look before turning his gaze to the pregnant woman currently staring at her glass with a deliberateness that bespoke of her reluctance to meet his eyes.

Loki was amused and his voice reflected such, "Were you talking about our sex life again? If so, you know how I feel about words without visuals in situations such as these. I am thoroughly in favor of a dramatic reenactment. For educational purposes, of course."

He switched back to his Jötunn form.

Darcy barely had time to blink before Loki had appeared in front of her, grabbing her arm and using a bit of magic to have her be instantaneously (but gently) lying down in the center of the table, with his own body hovering above hers. The tea spilled. He could see the startled annoyance about to burst forth from her wicked lips, so he swooped in to silence them with a lick. He felt her tense and could almost hear the internal debate she was having. But she was his Darcy, and so after a few moments she gave in and kissed him back with an abundance of passion and very little shame.

A sinfully delicious minute later, Loki raised his head to survey the occupants of the room. All were pretending to avert their gaze while surreptitiously watching the lustful display playing out in front of them. Well, all except Tony, who appeared to be recording them on his phone again.

Loki was so genuinely pleased by the way this entire encounter had played out that he could not even find it within him to be annoyed at Tony's absurdity. In fact, he was in such a generous mood that he would do that odd man another favor. He just needed to figure out what he could get for the man who thought he had everything – a functional heart perhaps? No, too obvious.

Still debating, Loki addressed the gawkers, "Does this paint a clearer picture in your minds? Good." He turned his head to face Thor. "Farewell, brother. I thank you for your broad-mindedness."

Without waiting for a response, Loki and a dazed Darcy disappeared.

Tony shook his head at the empty table, "How does he do that? He was fetching her tea like a whipped bitch. Anyone else would've been completely emasculated. But Loki? Like a boss."

A few hours later, Loki and Darcy sprawled on the couch watching a mildly amusing procedural. During a commercial break, Darcy sat up and said, "I think I should call Pepper. Maybe invite her to lunch tomorrow or something. I've got to expand my group of female friends. Right now I have Jane and…well, I guess Steve doesn't really count – but he does a mean cross-stitch and offered to babysit, so…yeah. But Pepper would be a good edition. She seems really mature, you know? And she obviously knows how to deal with infants, even if they are slightly bigger and richer than the average. It couldn't hurt to have someone like that around when I go all post-natal."

She went to reach for the phone, but Loki stopped her, "No point. She is indisposed at the moment."

Darcy blinked, "Pepper always answers her phone. An asteroid could be hurtling toward Earth and there's only 5 seconds before it all blows up, and she'd still answer her phone."

"She does not have her phone with her at the moment."

Darcy looked suspiciously at Loki's innocent face. "How do you know?"

"I simply know that she is a bit occupied at present."

"Occupied?"

A small smile starting quirking the corners of Loki's lips, "With Tony."

Darcy wanted to squeal at Loki's broad hint that those two had finally gotten their acts together, but the look on Loki's face made her pause. He looked entirely too self-satisfied. She felt her jaw clench, "What did you do, Loki?"

His smirk came out in full force, "Merely followed your suggestion. I had been looking for a way to do something helpful for the man, and you were most useful in giving me the perfect idea."

Darcy looked confused, "Me? What did I do?"

"When this show began, you said that the sexual tension was truly reaching a peak between the male writer and the female detective. While you were enjoying the banter, you felt that someone should lock those two in a closet and let them work it out. Then you compared the two characters to Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. I also see the parallels quite clearly – she is level-headed but grudgingly fond of the man. And he is immature yet compassionate. Therefore, I assumed the same suggestion would apply to their real-life counterparts. I could not lock fictional characters into a closet without expending a rather tedious amount of effort. But Tony and Pepper – infinitely easier."

Darcy was staring at Loki in shock, "You locked Tony and Pepper in a closet?"

Loki just nodded benignly, "Yes, I did. That is why both of them will be unavailable to reach by phone."

"Loki! You can't just lock people in a closet!"

He smirked condescendingly, "Apparently I can. But do not worry, I will not let them kill each other. And I will release them as soon as the pointless tension between them has been resolved. Preferably with orgasms. I doubt it will take very long considering the buildup. Food and facilities should not become an issue. In fact…"

Darcy watched in disbelief as Loki created a double, sent it somewhere, and then smirked widely.

"Ah. Do not fret, my love. They are well on their way to dealing with their issues."

Darcy tried to get mad at Loki. He couldn't just keep doing things like this. Well, he could, but he shouldn't.

But…

Tony and Pepper had been circling each other for what probably amounted to years. And it was becoming more annoying than amusing to watch the snarking and flirting that passed for dialogue between those two. While the closet seemed a bit drastic – it could turn out for the best. Hell, Tony might even thank Loki – the man certainly wasn't doing a very good job wooing Pepper on his own.

The commercial break ended. Darcy sighed and leaned her head back down on Loki's shoulder.

She quietly asked, "Is your double still watching them?"

"Of course. I need to ensure that this particular plan does not go awry."

Darcy hid her smile in his collar, but she knew he could feel it anyway. "Perve. What closet did you use?"

Loki ran his thumb up and down her neck and Darcy had to suppress a happy shudder. "The one beside Tony's study."

Darcy sat back up quickly. "You put them in the same closet that we had sex in?"

Loki seemed amused by her agitation, "I had to make sure that it was a serviceable area for the desired activities. While Pepper is a bit taller than you and I am a bit taller than Tony, the height disparity should not render that one particular shelf unworkable."

Darcy went over his words in her head, "The shelf where I put my leg?"

"Indeed, now hush. I am trying to watch the program."

Darcy fell silent and eased back down onto his shoulder, mind whirling. It wasn't until the next commercial break that she opened her mouth again, "You know, babe? Depending on how this all turns out, Tony's either never gonna speak to you again or make you his best man."

Loki looked pleased, "Best man? Now that is a title I can definitely accept."

A/N: My deepest apologies for the uncharacteristic delay in posting. Finals came...and they came hard. (Insert naughty pun). But, hooray! They are over now! So, back to our regularly scheduled programming! You guys have been so great and supportive. I'm closing in on 500 reviews - that's just ridiculous. Seriously. Thank you.