The door closed behind her with a clang leaving Jane in complete darkness. This was not a darkness to which her eyes would ever adjust – a blackness so deep it was almost existential. But even as a child, Jane had never been afraid of the dark. While this was certainly disorienting and unsettling, it wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. Jane stayed still, waiting for the test to begin.
A rustling caught her attention. It was soft and innocuous, not immediately setting off any alarm bells in her head. Still, that was strange. She strained her ears, trying to make out where exactly it was coming from. Wait…
Breathing. Something was breathing.
She wasn't alone in here.
Now Jane was starting to panic. Darkness may not scare her, but the things that hid in it certainly did. No, she was being ridiculous. This was a test and so she needed to stay calm and think. Nothing in here was going to kill her. Hell, it was probably just Loki playing tricks on her. Both he and Darcy had been conspicuously absent from the group of people waiting around outside to cheer her on.
"Loki? I'm not scared of you." She made her voice sound amused.
The breathing was suddenly directly behind her, ruffling her hair. It wasn't human – too deep, too heavy, too primal.
She spun around, trying desperately to make out the presence in front of her. Darkness and nothing more. She was overreacting. It was still probably Loki playing a trick. Trying to scare her like he always did – probably laughing at her quietly.
"Cut it out, Loki."
Even though the breathing was directly in front of her, Jane felt something touch the back of her neck. Just a feather-light brush of something warm resting against her skin. Jane's nervous system shut down at the contact.
Fear – stark and raw and absolute – enveloped her body. The touch burned right down to her soul as if every bit of happiness she had ever felt was being forcibly ripped from her through that one little inch of flesh. This wasn't right – this wasn't natural. Something was taking all of the light inside of her and replacing it with darkness.
She was lying naked in a coffin full of snakes and they were writhing all around her, trying to find a way inside her body. No, she was back in the hospital with her father, watching her mother die slowly and painfully. No, she was bound with chains and thrown into the water. Sinking. Drowning. She was drowning! She clawed for the surface, but found herself once again surrounded by blackness.
Some part of Jane recognized that she was still in that room – still being tested. But her mind was drifting from one nightmare to the next. She was following bloody footprints to her bedroom, pausing at the door, knowing Thor was waiting for her to find him – his body cold and already stiffened with rigor mortis. No, she was being chased down an alley by a man in a mask, held down and helpless while he hurt her in the cruelest way. No, she was with Darcy, watching helplessly as the girl bled out from between her thighs, crying for Loki and her dying child. No, she was watching her father put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger. No, she was in a coffin again, this time alone but hearing the thump thump of the dirt hitting the wood above her as she is buried alive.
No. No. No.
Help her. Someone help her. Thor!
Her mouth opened to call out for help, to call out for her lover. But the words caught in her throat.
Loki. There was something she needed to remember about Loki.
Loki…
Loki wanted…
Hogun's voice saying, "Loki wanted me to tell you…"
Do not scream.
Do. Not. Scream.
Jane snapped her jaw shut, putting both hands over her mouth to muffle the whimpers escaping.
This was a test. Fear. Every fear she had ever had, and some she never could have imagined. But it wasn't real. Thor would never let her truly suffer.
Wouldn't he?, a voice whispered in her mind.
No! No, he wouldn't!
Isn't he already? Aren't you suffering right now?
No! Thor wouldn't hurt her. Thor loved her. She loved Thor. She believed in him.
But it was a year ago and Thor was bleeding on the pavement, Loki hovering over him and laughing at his pain.
No! No, Loki didn't do that. Loki saved Thor. This wasn't real.
But she was falling off a building, watching the ground get closer and closer.
This wasn't real! She was in the dark room. She had to remember that this was a test.
But she was watching as a little boy with her eyes and Thor's smile ran into the street to chase after a ball, not noticing the truck.
No! This wasn't real. This wasn't real.
Do not scream. Hogun told her not to scream. No, Loki told her. Because Loki knew that she would want to. Because Loki knew what the test was. Thor didn't know. Why would Loki know? Think, Jane. Because he's involved somehow, right? Didn't she already guess that?
But she was only a little girl, lying alone in bed, watching as her closet door slowly creaked open. Something was coming to get her.
She shoved her hands even more tightly against her mouth. Loki warned her not to scream. Screaming meant losing. It was too hard to think. What was she supposed to do? What was this test really about? Was she supposed to say she wasn't afraid? That would be a lie. And judging by their treatment of Loki, Asgardians didn't appreciate liars.
An hour. She was supposed to last an hour.
An hour in the car that was sinking, slowly being filled with water. No, an hour in the basement, trying to hide from the man with the knives. No, an hour in the burlap medical tent, watching as a harried army doctor took her arm off with a dull saw and an apologetic smile.
No! No. No.
This was a test. Thor. Think of Thor. Focus on Thor. Think of his smile and the way it always made her heart skip a beat. Think of the first time they kissed, ignoring the people around them, desperate to have that one perfect moment before he had to go face his brother. Focus on the first time they made love, how gentle he had been – so afraid he would hurt her. The way he looked in the mornings, hair mussed and faced lined with creases from the pillow. Think how happy he was when she accepted his proposal. Think of the look in his eyes when he explained that he would always forgive Loki because he was his brother, and that's just what brothers did. Think of the time she tried to teach him how to drive and how cute he had been trying to explain to Tony why his Mercedes needed a new door. Think of that first time she saw him when he finally came back from Asgard. The way he had looked at her. The way he always looked at her.
Jane kept her hands tightly over her mouth and focused on everything she loved about the God of Thunder. Even as monsters and disease and accidents and thugs tortured her in various ways.
An hour. Odin said an hour.
Do not scream. Hogun said not to scream. Loki said not to scream.
Thor said he loved her. She could do this. He was worth it.
While it took a great deal of his focus to keep the creature under control, Loki kept part of his mind focused on Jane's thoughts. She was impressing him with her ability to remain quiet. She was amazing him with her ability to remain sane.
When Odin had mentioned what his part was to be in this test, Loki had lost his temper a bit. While he didn't particularly like Jane, he loved Thor. And this whole affair was unbelievably cruel. This was a test designed for her to fail. In fact, the only woman who might ever be able to pass such a test would be Sif. Odin had never made it a secret that he thought the warrior-goddess was a good fit for his eldest son – and a good fit for the role of the future Queen of Asgard. But this was cheating.
For once, Loki wished he didn't understand Odin. Thor would certainly never understand. And if Jane failed, Thor would certainly never forgive. But Loki understood Odin all too well. Odin had an endgame and he was moving whatever pieces he needed to move in whatever direction he needed to move them in order to arrive at the desired outcome.
It wasn't that Odin didn't like Jane. And it certainly wasn't that he doubted Thor's love for her, or vice-versa. It was simply that he did not believe her to be the Queen that Asgard needed. So he rigged the game. But he made one fatal miscalculation. If Odin had asked Loki a few years ago to contain the creature in the room while it tore into the mind of Thor's ladylove, Loki would have happily agreed. But that was then. That was before Loki almost killed Thor. That was before Darcy.
Putting aside the excruciating pain Thor would feel at Jane's failure, Loki couldn't help but imagine Darcy being the one in the room with the demon. Darcy's brain being picked apart and her fears played upon. Darcy trying not to scream.
Fuck that.
Loki knew his brother would do everything in his power to help Loki's lover. And so Loki would return the favor. After all, Jane didn't stand a chance. She was to face her fears – to face Fear itself. An hour in the room with the creature. The others would be listening at the door, straining to hear some clue of what was going on within, some clue of what the test was. And if Jane screamed, Thor would find a way in to save her – and Jane would fail. Then Odin would banish her, scrubbing her mind clean of any memory of Thor and anything connected with her time with him – from her journey to Asgard to her work on Einstein-Rosen Bridges. She would even forget about Darcy. Jane Foster would return to Midgard as nothing more than a shell, losing years' worth of memories and any chance she had at happiness.
So Loki had done what he could to help both her and Thor. He gave her the only advice he could give her. There was no real way to prepare her for this and any attempt he could have made at explaining what was going to happen to her would have only ended with her panicking. In truth, it would be best if she never found out what exactly it was in the room with her today.
Regardless, Thor was going to be furious. Odin was underestimating the wrath that he was to face once Thor found out what was being done to his beloved in the darkness. Loki could have found some way for Thor to learn beforehand, but that would have only hindered any chance his brother had to keep Jane Foster. Jane needed to pass the test in order to partake of Idun's apples. Thor could rant and rave all he wanted just as soon as Jane was immortal. That was safest for all involved.
Loki grimaced as he watched Jane try to tell herself that the tarantula crawling up her leg wasn't real. Nor the scorpion in her mouth or the python trying to wriggle between her thighs. Nor the child bleeding on the floor, nor the wolf tearing through her flesh, nor the lava burning her body from the feet upwards. Inside her head was a maelstrom of horror and Loki felt genuinely sorry for the part he had to play. But he'd done the best he could to help her.
He had done the best he could.
Hold on, Jane, Loki urged. Hold on for my brother.
Odin's face remained blank as the time wound down. Any emotion he might have been feeling at Jane's unanticipated victory was kept carefully hidden behind his neutral expression. Thor just kept getting more and more fidgety, smiling wider as every second ticked by without anything happening. He didn't know what Jane was doing in that room – what test she had to endure. But he knew she would pass. She was brave and intelligent, loyal and caring, resourceful and determined. She would pass.
And then they would marry. And he would be able to wake to Jane's beautiful smile every day for the rest of eternity.
A loud clang drew everyone's attention. Fandral was the first to understand what the sound meant, "An hour! It has been an hour! Has Jane Foster passed the test?"
Odin did not answer, merely watched as the door slowly opened. Jane didn't emerge immediately and Thor turned to his father with concern etched on his face. Then a hand came out of the darkness, pale and shaking, and grabbed the open door. The rest of Jane slowly came into focus. Thor took two swift steps to reach her with a smile, but froze while still several feet away at the expression on Jane's face. Everyone seemed to hold their collective breath at the sight of Jane Foster's pale skin and horrorstricken eyes.
Thor's voice was urgent, "Jane?" She didn't respond, just stared somewhere beyond him as if she couldn't hear him.
Suddenly, Loki appeared directly in front of Jane, startling everyone. He reached out slowly and placed his hand on Jane's temple, easing into her mind. He whispered into her consciousness that it was over, that she had passed, that Thor was waiting. Her eyes turned to him and seemed to finally focus.
Her voice was a broken whisper, "Is this real?"
Loki let his hand slide from her temple to her shoulder, leaning down so she could see his eyes clearly.
"Yes, Jane. This is real now. It is over. Come back to us."
Her lower lip trembled and her voice was that of a child, "Thor?"
Thor went to step toward her but Loki held up his hand to stop him. Off-balance, Thor paused, waiting for his brother's instructions on how to help his love.
Loki turned to Odin. "She passed. Announce it to all."
Odin looked at him steadily, but Loki could feel the suspicion lurking behind his gaze. Loki hardened his voice and demanded, "Announce that she passed. She will partake of the fruit and become immortal. Sanction their union. Father, sanction it!"
Everyone seemed torn, not knowing what was going on. Frigga placed a hand on her husband's arm and spoke softly, "She passed, Odin."
Odin's gaze slid from his youngest son to his eldest. His voice was firm, "Jane Foster has passed the test. She is worthy of Thor, of immortality, and of the throne. If it is Thor's wish, she will be the future Queen of Asgard. I have spoken and so shall it be."
Loki released a breath, then pivoted to look at his brother. "Thor, she is broken in mind. I will help as best I can. Make Father explain what she had to endure. I will calm her down until you can join her."
Thor looked confused and worried, "Loki, what is going on? What has happened to Jane?"
Loki sent a grim smile of satisfaction at Odin, "She passed." Then Loki's body shifted, becoming bulkier, until Thor stood looking at himself. Loki, wearing Thor's face, leaned down to Jane, "Come, my love. Let us rest now."
Jane blinked and then threw herself into Loki's broad chest. Loki reached down with one arm and pulled the mortal woman off her feet and into his arms. The real Thor looked on in shock.
"Loki, what are you doing? I do not understand. Jane…"
Loki gave his brother a soft look, "Let me ease her distress. Give me an hour and then come to us. For now, direct all your questions to Father."
Without any further words, Loki and Jane disappeared.
Loki disliked playing with someone's mind. While he was all in favor of illusions and general trickery that made one's mind trick itself, it was quite another thing to actually poke about in someone's brain. But Jane needed a bit of help if she was going to come out of this without years of therapy. He took her, nightmare by nightmare, through her experience in the darkness and reinforced her belief that it wasn't real. Halfway through the process, Jane seemed to come out of the fog and realize that the man in bed with her – holding her in his lap like a child – wasn't actually Thor but was Loki wearing her lover's face. She took that shock with a great deal of grace considering her rocky relationship with the God of Mischief.
Loki allowed his own face to slip back on, but kept her in his arms while he finished walking her through her memories. It became easier as she became more cognizant of what he was doing and why he was doing it. When he reached the end, he took one final look around her mind to check for any lingering horrors hiding in the shadows. It seemed all clear, so he retreated completely.
He removed his hand from her temple and absently wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of his wrist. She was looking at him strangely, but he had spent too much time in Jane Foster's head that day for him to venture back in just to find out why.
Her voice was soft when she finally broke the silence, "I didn't scream."
He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. "I know. I was there. You should be quite proud of yourself, Jane. Thor will make you the Goddess of Courage and Fortitude for this. Even I have found myself impressed with you today."
"Thank you, Loki." Her tone was sincere. Loki blinked, surprised by the ease with which the words slid from her tongue.
"You need not thank me. I have caused my brother much pain these past few months." He shook his head, "These past few years. It is gratifying to be able to cause him happiness instead."
Jane studied his face until Loki raised a questioning brow. She seemed to measure her words, "Thor loves you. You've done…horrible things. You've killed and destroyed without blinking. And you still don't seem very remorseful about it. I berated him for trusting you – for believing in you when he'd already had such vivid examples of why he shouldn't. You weren't a good guy, Loki. But Thor still loved you. I could write that off as a family thing. A sort of 'I don't like him, but I have to love him' thing."
Loki just watched her silently as she spoke, letting her have the floor.
"But then I found out about you and Darcy. I thought it was lust – I mean you're both pretty attractive and things happen. But when she told me she loved you, I thought she was crazy. She didn't have any reason to. You're a sociopath and a tyrant. I thought she was confused, or simply delusional and hopeful since she was going to have a baby with you. But for a quirky girl, she's pretty level-headed. She does love you. She's made that very clear to everyone. But I could never understand why."
Jane's hands trembled as she brought them up to grab onto Loki's shoulders. "I do now."
Her breath came out on a whimper, "I get it. I get why she loves you. I'm sorry for doubting you; I won't anymore. Thank you. Thank you, Loki. I was…I can't…" Her words became unintelligible as sobs began racking her frame.
Loki felt the tension in his spine ease for the first time since his brother's love walked into the testing room. These tears were catharsis – Jane would be alright.
Though she would probably regret being quite so effusive in her gratitude later – once she remembered that she didn't actually like Loki.
With a resigned sigh, Loki shifted his position so that he could wrap his arms around the woman in his lap. She just kept bawling and mumbling about Thor and snakes and blood. Loki hoped that his brother would get here soon so they could switch off. If a woman was going to be crying all over him, he'd prefer it be Darcy. Not that he ever wanted his love to cry, but he wasn't fond of allowing people into his personal space. Still, Loki ran his hands up and down Jane's back as he did whenever his own mortal love became overwhelmed by life and hormones. He was glad that Darcy had actually listened to him when he asked her not to go to Jane's test. She had pressed for a reason, but he had simply said 'please' and she knew by looking at him that she really shouldn't go. He was both irked and pleased at how well his love could read him these days.
Finally, Loki heard the door creak open slowly and saw Thor's head peek around the frame. It seemed to take the blond a moment to comprehend the sight of his fiancé crying in his brother's lap – on their bed.
Thor's voice was hoarse, and Loki knew immediately that he had spoken his anger to Odin. Loudly.
"Loki, is Jane alright?"
Jane's head spun around to look at Thor and Loki could feel the relief rushing through her. She scrambled out of Loki's embrace and ran toward Thor, who held his arms out to her and crushed her to his chest.
"Thor, I love you. I love you so much, baby."
Loki watched as Thor's face hovered between being on the verge of tears and being on the verge of ecstasy, "My Jane. My sweet Jane. You were so brave. I am so sorry for what happened to you, my dearest heart."
"It was awful, Thor. It was so scary and dark and the things I saw were so-"
"It is over, Jane. It is all over now. We will be together forever and I will spend every day of eternity making this up to you."
Loki was going to gag at this nauseating display.
Jane pulled back, "You're worth it. You're worth anything. I love you."
Thor lifted her off her feet and smashed their lips together in a sloppy kiss. Loki cringed at the lackluster technique, but he supposed that the emotional turmoil of the moment overcame the poor form. Mostly.
When Thor finally let Jane come up for air, he spoke urgently, "Are you alright, dearest?"
Jane nodded looking a bit dazed, "I think so. Loki helped. He really, really helped. I wouldn't have even passed if it weren't for him."
Thor brought his head up sharply and pierced Loki with a stricken gaze. "Brother? You have…again you have saved me. Jane is my life and so again I owe my life to you. Loki, I-"
Loki cut him off, "No! All people can seem to say to me lately are 'I am sorry' or 'Thank you' or 'I love you' and it is getting ridiculous. I have a feeling you were about to say all three. If you do, I might actually be sick."
Thor gave him a shaky smile, "Brother, I will not say it. But I will think it very loudly."
Loki gave a chuckle. "Fair enough. Now make love to your future wife and do it properly. I will have Darcy get the truth from Jane, and if I find you are as boring in bed as you are outside of it, I will stage an intervention. And believe me, there will be diagrams and a written test."
Thor shook his head at his brother's teasing, "Worry about your own woman's satisfaction, brother."
Loki smiled before allowing the gravity of his next words to darken his face, "I have done the best I can, Thor. But she will have nightmares for a while. Take care of her. And congratulations – you are as good as married."
Thor placed a kiss on the top of Jane's head and then nodded at his brother. Loki smiled and disappeared. He reappeared in the throne room, which was empty save for the King and Queen themselves.
His parents seemed to have aged a century in the last hour. A deep and weary voice asked, "Are you here to berate me too, my son?"
Loki walked closer, standing beside his mother and taking her shaking hand within his own. He turned his head to face the throne, "No, Father. You know where I stood when it came to this test."
Odin nodded, "And it has been returned to its cage?"
Loki sneered, "Of course. As soon as Jane's time was up, I bound it. I would not let such a creature roam freely around those I care about."
Odin sighed, "Loki, it was the proper test. I have argued with you and with Thor about this. But I am King of Asgard and I say that it was just. She will not merely be immortal, she will be a Queen. The Queen of us all. She had to be exceptional."
Loki's voice was soft, "She was, Father. All could see it save you. You almost destroyed your son. Thor would never have forgiven you if she failed. He may not forgive you even now."
"I am tired of having my decisions questioned. Why do you and your brother never understand your place?"
Loki laughed without humor, "Because we were both born to rule. Not to be ruled."
Odin responded, "Regardless, she has passed the test. She will wed Thor and be Queen one day."
Loki stared hard at Odin, "Good. She has earned it."
"You cheated." Odin's voice was certain. "I do not know how, but you aided her. Jane Foster could not have won on her own."
Loki smiled with genuine humor, "Perhaps. But since she could not have won on her own, I think it more apt to say that it was you who cheated."
Odin did not say anything in response.
Loki continued, "But she did pass, Father. An hour with pure evil. She walked in the door just as she walked out, on her own feet. She passed. All heard you say it."
Odin sighed. "I know. Jane Foster is surprising in many ways. Now she will marry Thor. And then you will marry Darcy Lewis. Your mother would like to see that occur before the child is born."
Loki's voice was deceptively calm, "You are not testing Darcy. You have already said you were not."
Odin nodded, "I have no intention of testing her. If she survives the childbirth, then she is worthy of becoming a Princess of Asgard. It will not be easy for her despite all of your magic. Creating life is so much harder than taking it."
Loki leaned toward his silent mother, removing his hand from her grip so that he could wrap his arm around her shoulders, "That is surprisingly generous of you, Father. Why such a boon for me and not Thor? Simply because Darcy will never be Queen?"
Odin gave Loki a long look before answering, "I may be an old man, but I have no desire to die today."
Loki thought over his father's words. Finally, he nodded with understanding, "Thor respects you as much as he loves you. He would never wound you in any way save emotionally. But if you tried to hurt Darcy, I would kill you. I would mourn you and feel genuine sorrow, but I would kill you nonetheless." A terrifying light appeared behind Loki's eyes, "And you fear me."
Odin shook his head slowly, "No, my son. I have never feared you. I merely fear what you can do."
"You are a wise man."
Odin finally let a smile grace his lips, "That is why they made me King."
Loki smiled back then leaned down to place a kiss on his mother's forehead. He would go check on Darcy and let her know that he was going to be gone tonight. She wouldn't be pleased, but it was necessary. Loki needed advice and there was only one person he felt comfortable enough to go to for it. Although considering the emotional toll today's events had taken on Loki's patience, Tony Stark damn well better watch his mouth.
After all, Loki still had the thread. And Nick Fury would probably thank him for getting the loudest Avenger to actually shut up for more than a minute.
Thinking about it that way, it was win-win.
Loki took a cleansing breath and then focused. To Darcy and then to Midgard. And hopefully by this time tomorrow, Darcy would have agreed to be his wife.
A/N: I feel like I need to explain that Jane's test is pulled right from the comics – I wasn't just being unnecessarily cruel to poor Jane. For those who don't know, Jane's test was to be locked in a room with the 'Lurking Unknown'. She freaked out, called for help, Thor saved her, she failed, Odin wiped her mind clean, he forbade Thor from ever seeing her again, then she was sent back to Earth…yup, that's it in a nutshell. I think Thor then started banging Sif actually. I don't read comics, I Google – so my info might be a bit wrong. But I wanted to stick somewhere near the vicinity of canon and when I read about the 'Lurking Unknown' – I thought it sounded like something in a horror movie. Hence the hopefully disturbing test. But next chapter has Tony Stark being glib, so it'll lighten up soon. Well, sorta. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me as my updates get slower and slower. Your kind words keep me going and I'll NEVER abandon this story until the end.
So, kids, the moral of today's chapter: Odin is a douchebag.