A/N: I'm excited to have some new readers! Please review! It makes me ever so happy.

If changing my name to Stephenie Meyers would make these characters mine, I'd do it in a flash, but alas…

Chapter 21

I took a little longer, hotter shower than normal, feeling as if I could wash away the worries of the past few days by standing under the stream for a few extra minutes. The thought of my lobster-colored skin was the only thing that forced me to turn off the water. That, and I figured Edward would be waiting in my bedroom by now.

I dressed quickly and dried my hair before scurrying to my room. Edward was sitting in the rocking chair, waiting semi-patiently. I knew it was only 'semi' because he essentially launched himself at me as soon as he heard the door click and had us under the covers almost before I could blink.

"Eager, are we?" I giggled.

"For you? Always." He pulled me closer and kissed me with such passion, I thought I might be the first person to genuinely spontaneously combust.

"Are you OK?" he asked.

"Absolutely. Better than OK. Why?"

"Your heart rate is through the roof."

"It's just… you're so exuberant tonight."

"Is it too much?" he suddenly looked concerned.

"Well, gosh, I don't know. Maybe we should experiment a little more."

His smile matched mine before his lips possessed me again. He moved over me, putting just enough weight on my body that I could feel every bit of him, but careful not to crush me entirely. My mind was distracted momentarily with wondering how much he actually weighed, but when his mouth left mine and began trailing ice-cold kisses toward my ear, I suddenly could not remember my question, nor my own name, for that matter.

The only things in the world at that moment were Edward's lips nibbling my earlobe, his tongue gently licking that spot behind my ear that made me crazy, and a growing hardness against the top of my thigh. He had always been rather careful to keep that part of his anatomy away from me, but tonight, for the first time, I felt him in earnest.

"Edward…" his name wafted on a gust of air from my lips.

I could feel him smile as he ran his fingers through my hair, pushing it back from my neck to give himself better access. I ran my hands languidly up and down his back, occasionally grabbing his hair to indicate he'd found an especially good spot and it wouldn't hurt my feelings at all if he spent a little extra time there.

The only problem with this scenario was my ever-growing desire. I literally ached for him and everything I wanted was within my reach. I knew if I did anything untoward, he would bolt from the bed faster than we'd gotten into it, so I fought desperately to keep my urges in check. The only problem with that scenario was the more I restrained myself, the more the tension in my body grew.

It didn't take long before I got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore, and my need outweighed my ability to reason. I very slowly and carefully slid my hips directly under his and gently tipped them up until I finally found what my body craved. It was only a light graze of his cold hardness against my warm softness, but even through our clothes it sent what felt like fireworks to every nerve ending in my body. I had reached the outer edge of nirvana and all I wanted was to keep going.

At that moment, Newtonian law took over, which says for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Edward's reaction was precisely equal and opposite to mine in that I couldn't get close enough and he couldn't get away fast enough.

"Bella," he hissed and then was on the other side of the room. As soon as my mind registered what happened, I felt that all-too-familiar, overwhelming sense of rejection like a punch to the stomach. I tried… I really tried not to cry, because everything had been so amazing and wonderful to that point, and it was my own fault for crossing the line, but I couldn't help it. My emotions overtook me as I rolled away from Edward, curling into a ball as far to the side of the bed as I could get.

Instantly he was behind me, pulling me to him, but all I could do was try to hold back my sobs. My logical mind knew I was being absurd… that he wanted me the same way I wanted him. There was every indication, and even more indication tonight than ever.

But my emotions told me, if he felt the same way, he wouldn't choose to stop. He would crave me, hunger for me, and not in a 'yummy, yummy blood' way, but the way a man in love is incomplete without his other half… his mate. Clearly, Edward didn't desire me enough or he wouldn't be able to withdraw from me time and time again.

"Bella… shhhh… Bella, darling, don't cry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to do that that, but I was about a half a second from losing control and I just can't allow that to happen."

It took me four hours to pull myself together… or 10 minutes, but it certainly felt like hours.

"Why not?" I cried, trying to stay quiet so Charlie wouldn't hear.

"I'm not following you, sweetheart. 'Why not' what?"

"Why don't you want me? Why can't you let it happen?" I whispered desperately, but then thought better of it. "Wait. Don't answer that. I don't think I can bear to hear it…"

He gingerly lifted me up and carried me to the rocking chair where he held me like a baby. I didn't really care because I felt like a baby anyway… a giant, ridiculous baby.

"Bella, do you really think I don't want you? Be honest with me. Is that really how you feel?"

I couldn't look at him, but I nodded. "Not enough, anyway…"

He sighed heavily as he ran his free hand through his hair. His head dropped back against the chair, which gave a slight crack in protest. I peeked up at him to see he was staring at the ceiling.

"This is one of those times where I would give just about anything to see what's going on in your mind. But right now, more than that, I wish you could see inside mine." He looked down into my eyes. I wanted to look away, mostly because I felt nervous and maybe even a little silly about my strong reactions, but I kept his gaze, knowing that my feelings needed to be addressed or they would just keep coming back to haunt us.

"Bella, if you could read my mind, you would see that you are the first and foremost thought in it. Yes, I think about your smile and those beautiful brown eyes and your hair and how cute your toes are…"

I couldn't help but let out the tiniest snicker.

"And I think about how smart you are, and brave, and giving and caring and all the wonderful traits that amaze me about you."

He shifted so he could look me directly in the eyes. "But more than I care to admit, I think about your body."

I gulped.

"Suffice it to say I'm really no different from any other 17 year old boy when it comes to you. And unfortunately, I've been in the minds of enough 17 year olds to know. Bella, the things I want to do with you and to you and for you… I think you might be a little shocked, honestly."

"Really?" I whispered.

"Of course! Aside from being a vampire, I'm also very much a man."

"Yes, I noticed… a lot," I murmured as my blush rose.

"And this whole waiting-for-marriage condition? Waiting is important to me… very important to me, but if it's going to make you cry and feel unwanted… well, nothing is that important. And Bella, I want you so much, sometimes I can't even remember why waiting was important to me in the first place."

"Oh…" was all that came out of my mouth. I had to pause for a long moment to gather my thoughts. "OK, well… hmmmm… I don't know what to say to that exactly, but I suppose that does make me feel better, in a way."

If that was what I said when my thoughts were gathered, I was afraid to know what kind of nonsense would have spewed from my mouth if I hadn't taken time to sort everything out a little. However, I slowly came to a conclusion. "You know what? I think I'm OK with that. I think I'm ready now."

Edward gasped. "Right now? Here? With Charlie in the next room? Bella, I don't think that's a good idea."

"No, I'm not talking about that, silly," I laughed. "I meant I'm ready to wait. I'm not thrilled about it or anything, but just knowing that you think about me, you know… like that, well, it makes a huge difference. And really, Edward, how can I honestly say I love you if I'm selfish enough to take away something so important to you just because I'm impatient?"

Once again, I seemed to have stunned him into silence. "So, you mean if I had just been honest with you about how I felt, this whole thing could have been avoided?"

"I think that pretty much sums it up. In fact, that pretty much sums up a lot of our problems, don't you think?" I asked, but then backtracked quickly. "I don't mean just you… I've been feeling rejected for a long time and I never told you until now. To you, this is something that happened tonight. To me, it's been going on for a long time."

"Wait. You feel rejected? Rejected?" he reiterated incredulously. When I nodded, he sighed heavily again. "I really am stunned because to me, it's almost embarrassingly obvious that I want you like crazy. But then again, I'm sure having me push myself away from you all the time doesn't exactly scream 'I want to get in your pants,' now does it." We both laughed and I know I blushed something fierce. Edward had NEVER said anything like that before.

"OK, so in the spirit of full disclosure," Edward started.

"Nothing good can come from a sentence that starts out like that…" I interrupted, trying to sound casual, but my insides were churning. What was he going to tell me? My brain flashed through 50 different horrible scenarios before he spoke again.

"I don't think this is a bad thing. It's just something I didn't tell you. You know how I had to desensitize myself to your scent?"

I nodded.

"Well, tonight after you put on my ring, I decided I needed to start desensitizing myself to… other things…"

The way he trailed off, I knew exactly what he meant. "So, you were pushing the limits as… an experiment?"

"When you put it that way, it sounds much less sexy," he laughed, "but I suppose that's the gist of it. It's just like if I'd tried to kiss you the first day we met, there's no question I would have bitten you. I'd like to think I wouldn't have… ummm… finished the job, so to speak, but the truth is, I probably would have before I even realized it."

"Gosh, honey, you sure know how to sweet-talk a girl. What next? You were going to feed my remains to a school of piranhas?"

"Ha ha, very funny," he scoffed. "You just wait until you're a newborn. It's not that easy to stay in control, especially when faced with something so delectable…" He bared his teeth at me and aimed them for my neck. I squealed and tried to wiggle my way out of his grasp, giggling and batting at him until he planted a sloppy wet kiss right over my jugular.

"Are we OK now?" he asked tentatively.

"No," I answered, leaving the word hanging in the air long enough to make him ever so slightly uncomfortable. "We're much better than OK."

I wound my hand around the back of his neck and snuggled into his chest. We stayed like that for a while, me curled in his lap and him gently kissing my hair.

**-…-**

The next thing I knew, it was morning. I was in my bed, although I had no recollection of how I got there. I had to have fallen asleep in Edward's arms, which happened to be my favorite place to fall asleep.

I stretched and turned to find Edward smiling at me, which happened to be my favorite way to wake up.

"Good morning, beautiful." He sounded relaxed and happy, and even though he couldn't sleep himself, I knew watching me sleep was soothing to him.

"I could say the same thing to you," I cooed.

"Beautiful? Me? Nawwww… Now if you'd said ruggedly handsome, I couldn't argue that point."

"Oh really? Because my second choice was going to be 'pretty as a princess.'"

"No, I don't look good in a tiara," he said straight-faced.

"Dare I ask how you know?"

"One word: Emmett."

I laughed. "Obviously. Who else?"

"Well, I think Fred might give him a run for his money."

"Speaking of which, you should probably go home and get your car so you can come over officially and take me back to your house."

"It won't be long before 'home' is our house…" he contemplated aloud before kissing me. I made a face.

"You know I don't like kissing with morning breath," I scolded him.

"I've told you a thousand times it doesn't make any difference to me."

"But it makes me self-conscious. Plus, I don't even believe you… your sense of smell is strong and right now, kissing me is like kissing an old gym sock dipped in sewer water."

He snorted. "Now you're just trying to turn me on."

With an exaggerated roll of my eyes, I shooed him off my bed. "Go get your car and I'm going to do some of those crazy, crazy human rituals like brush my teeth and eat breakfast and maybe put on some clothes. It's still a bit nippy outside."

He looked directly at my chest and grinned wickedly.

"Nippy, not nipply!" I chided and pulled up the covers. I could feel a blush starting to bloom in my cheeks.

"That's the great thing about having a cold chest. When I pull you close, I get all kinds of reactions."

"Oh, wonderful," I complained. "A whole new thing to be self-conscious about!"

He leaned down to kiss my forehead. "I think it's beautiful."

"Coming from the man who thinks bad breath is a turn on."

He chucked and turned toward the window. "I'll be back in an hour. Is that OK?"

"Too long," I whined.

"You know Charlie doesn't like me to come over before 9."

"I know Charlie doesn't like you to come over at all," I teased, "but I guess I can wait an ENTIRE HOUR, for his sake…"

"You are the dictionary definition of 'long-suffering' my love," he joked. We shared a quick peck on the lips, then he was out the window and I was out my bedroom door to start my morning routine:

1. Bathroom and brush teeth (immediately, because eww)

2. Say 'Good morning' to Charlie

3. Cereal

4. Tell Charlie I'm spending the day at the Cullens

5. Watch him scowl and perhaps grumble under his breath

6. Brush teeth again, not as urgent this time

7. Get dressed

8. Wait 40 minutes for Edward to return

I decided to write my mom an e-mail. We still had to deal with telling her what we'd told Charlie, and I didn't expect it to go any better, although my mom wouldn't get angry. She was much more likely to take me on a guilt vacation. She didn't do guilt trips, like one would take a trip to the store. No, she would take me on the equivalent of a month in Europe.

I turned on my beast of a computer, which I presumed got the hamsters running on the wheel, and waited the obligatory four decades for it to load.

I'd decided to go with the 'breezy' approach.

'Hey mom, Just wondering how you're doing… I'm fine. No recent brushes with death, meaning none today. LOL Edward and I have been spending a lot of time together, of course. Charlie is tolerating him better, I suppose, but I don't really see them sitting around drinking beer and watching sports 20 years from now… I wonder how Edward would feel about fishing? Never mind.

Anyway, we should talk soon. I have some good news and e-mail just isn't the place to share it. The phone isn't great either, but in person is a little tough when we're about as far away as people can get and still be in the continental US.

Well, Edward will be here soon. I'm spending the day over at the Cullens, much to Charlie's immense delight. **rolls eyes** He's going tackle shopping today. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? He actually looked surprised that I didn't want to go along! Does he know me at all?

Well, talk soon, mom. Love you! B'

My mouse pointer hovered over the 'send' button for a little while. I thought maybe I should take out the part about the good news, because I knew the minute she read it, my phone would be ringing. She would know, or at least highly suspect what I was going to tell her. Still, it had to be done at some point. I couldn't very well call her after the fact and tell her 'oh, by the way mom, I got married yesterday.'

I closed my eyes and clicked the mouse. I sort of hoped she wouldn't see it for a few days, but with my luck, she was reading it at that very moment. Technology wasn't always my friend.

The next thing I knew, Edward's car was rolling into the driveway. I heard him knock and Charlie grumbled loudly up the stairs to me, which I'm sure was simply his eccentric way of joyfully announcing the arrival of his soon-to-be son-in-law.

"Good morning, Chief Swan, sir," Edward beamed.

"Oh, knock it off, kid. Charlie is fine."

"But last night," Edward started.

"Do you really want to remind me of last night?"

Edward blinked at Charlie before pantomiming locking his lips and throwing away the key. That was fine for my dad, but I would most definitely find that key and unlock those lips later.

I bounded down the last few steps and flew into Edward's waiting arms. He spun around with me, planting a sweet kiss on my lips. I felt dizzy and I wasn't entirely sure if it was from the spinning or the kissing, but either way, I was OK with it. My dad wasn't so much.

"Alright you kids. Geez. I'm still trying to get used to the idea of you… you know… with the ring and everything… You don't have to rub it in!" Charlie was blushing. I wanted to tease him about it, but thought that might be better saved for another day.

"Bye, dad," I said as I hugged him and kissed his cheek. He looked a little stunned, as we usually didn't show so much affection between us, but the slight smirk on his face told me he didn't mind too much.

Edward offered to shake hands, which my dad didn't seem to want to do, but then he grabbed Edward's hand and tried to squeeze it hard. Realizing this, Edward pretended to grimace just a bit. It made me proud.

We started out to the car, but Charlie stopped me. "Oh, Bells, it's still a little cold out. Don't you need a sweater or something? You used to have that blue jacket with a hood. I always thought it was a nice color on you. I haven't seen it for a long time."

And there it was. I had to give it to my dad. He was a clever one.

"Oh, yeah. You know, I haven't seen that for a while either, come to think of it," the well-rehearsed lie came out easily. "I used to wear it for gym. You remember the one, don't you, Edward?"

"Oh, yes, I remember it well. Alice hated that color on you. Maybe she stole it to save you from a fashion disaster."

Charlie looked dismayed. Edward quickly added, "I think it's a good color for you, too, but you know how Alice is…" He left the statement open to interpretation, but somehow we all knew how Alice was.

"Let me get your coat," Edward offered, already on his way inside the house. I didn't need a coat, but I wasn't going to argue the point. When he returned, he helped me into it.

"Better? Or do I need a scarf and a hat and some fuzzy mittens, too?" I snarked at Charlie.

"Hey, give your old man a break. I was just looking out for you!"

We shared a smile. "Sure, sure… whatever. I'll see you tonight." We turned to the car, Edward opening my door.

Charlie yelled, "You keep the speed down. I'd hate to have to give you a ticket!"

"Yeah, I bet you'd just hate that," I sassed with a laugh. He waved me off went back into the house.

"He still hates me," Edward mumbled after we got settled and backed out of the driveway.

"He doesn't hate you."

"Bella," he tapped his temple.

"Well, you are taking away his only daughter, you know."

"It doesn't have to be like that…"

"Yes, it does," I insisted. "Even if you were human and we were going to live next door, by marrying me, you're taking his daughter away. That's universal."

Apparently he didn't see the point of arguing with me, either because he knew I wouldn't budge, or because he knew I was right. I preferred to think it was the latter.

When we arrived at the Cullen house, Edward looked irritated.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Can we just go do something else?"

"Why? What's going on in there?" Now I was nervous.

He answered with one word: "Fred."