A/N: I forgot to mention before the last chapter that the Shimmer Awards are open for voting. I don't know for how long, and like I've said 4700 times (or twice), I'm not expecting to win, place, or even show, but it's fun to be nominated and get some votes. Ya know?

Ht tp:/ shimmer awards dot blogspot dot com / p / vote dot html

Anyway, I appreciate reviews much more! Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy.

Chapter 23

The next several days went by in much the same way, the outstanding features of which were the Cullens' almost militant training with Fred, and Edward allowing himself to very slowly and carefully further test the physical boundaries of our relationship.

Fred was having minimal success, but Carlisle was pleased with the small amount of progress he'd made; specifically, he could make one of them slightly less sick than the others if he concentrated really hard.

Edward, on the other hand, was having perhaps too much success, meaning he was making me crazy with desire. Now that he'd explained his need to acclimate to our ever-growing level of closeness, I no longer felt rejected when he pulled away. In fact, I was proud of him for trying, and I told him so. Often. He beamed with pride, which was downright adorable and well worth whatever suffering it may have caused me.

His new rule was "No touching where a swimsuit would be." Of course, I asked if I could pick out the swimsuits. He'd agreed until I showed him some pictures of what I had in mind. If he could blush, he would have been all shades. As it was, he acted like he'd been scandalized, but I didn't have to be a mind-reader to know he was picturing me in one of those very daring bikinis. The thought made me blush a little, too.

Several dates were looming on the horizon, and my personal schedule was filling rapidly.

July 7: Go to Italy to be tested and prodded by evil vampires.

August 13: Assuming I'm still alive, or at least undead, get married.

September 12 (or before): Become a vampire.

September 13: Not turn 19.

Carlisle and Esme had asked Charlie for permission to take me on their family's European vacation, a supposed graduation present for Edward and Alice. Charlie was fine until Carlisle mentioned Italy, which was apparently still a very sore subject for my father. After promising that I would be chaperoned at all times, Charlie agreed. I thought about reminding everyone that I was legally an adult and could go wherever I wanted, chaperoned or not, but decided to play nice in the sand box.

But there was something else pending that, frankly, I'd mostly allowed myself to forget in order to avoid. Of course, when I did think of it, I told myself I was too busy and/or it wasn't convenient and/or it would cause more problems than it was worth and/or he probably didn't want to see me anyway, but one way or another, I was avoiding Jacob.

Carlisle had been out to La Push every day since the battle, ensuring Jake was healing properly. Physically, I knew he had the best care available. According to Carlisle, he was perhaps even more belligerent and surly than ever, so that meant he was OK mentally, but I was relatively sure he was an emotional mess, even if he didn't let anyone see it.

It was with that in mind that I called the Black's house one afternoon when Edward was out hunting with his brothers. He had Alice on 'Bella Babysitting" duty, even though I insisted I didn't need to be watched anymore. Edward had simply said, "There are threats other than supernatural ones." Like Forks was the nation's murder capitol or something.

Frankly, the biggest threats I'd faced before moving to Washington were my own two feet. Add some uneven terrain and a variety of invisible cracks in the sidewalk and you could explain most of my innumerable scrapes and bruises, a knocked out baby tooth when I was six, and more than one broken bone.

"Hello?"

"Billy? Hi, it's Bella."

"Oh… Bella," he said a little too loudly, indicating he was simultaneously answering me and alerting Jacob to my call. "How are you?"

"I'm doing OK. Hey, how's Jake?"

"Oh, he's doing as well as can be expected," he answered dubiously.

"Carlisle says he's healing well."

"Yeah, that Carlisle… I never thought I'd ever say something like this, but he's been a godsend. Not sure what we would have done without him, even though Jake doesn't like him coming here…"

"I imagine not," I chuckled. "Is he there?"

"Carlisle? He's not due for a while yet."

"No, I mean Jake. I'd like to talk to him."

"Just a minute," Billy answered. I could hear a muffled conversation through what I assumed was Billy's hand. He removed it from the receiver in time for me to hear him say, "I'm not going to lie for you, son. If you want her to think you're asleep, you tell her yourself."

"Dad! Geez! Announce it to the world, why don't you?" I heard Jacob complaining loudly in the background.

"So, he's asleep, is he?" I snickered.

"Or so he says," Billy laughed back. "Apparently he talks and even yells in his sleep."

"Apparently. So, he doesn't want to talk to me then?"

"Well, I guess not. He talks about you all the time, but he doesn't seem to want to man-up and talk to you," he said extra loud, and clearly not for my benefit.

"DAD!" Jake wailed from a distance. "You're no help at all. Here, give me the damn phone."

"Well, what do you know, Bella, you're in luck. He just woke up," Billy teased.

"Wow. Great timing. Thanks, Billy."

"Don't mention it," he answered with a smile in his tone.

"What?" Jacob demanded.

"Is that the new 'hello'?" I asked, mocking him a little.

"It is for you, oh Bride of Dracula. What do you want?" He sounded so bitter, his voice was almost unrecognizable.

My tone softened immediately. "Jake, I really just want to talk to you, OK? A lot's happened in the past few days and we really haven't had time to talk about it."

"What's there to talk about? You've made your choice. Unless you're having second thoughts…"

I sighed. "Jake…"

"Say no more," he interrupted me. "I get it, OK? I don't like it, and don't ask me to be happy for you, but I get it." And the line went dead.

"He hung up on me!" I gasped.

"Dogs have no manners, Bella. Everyone knows that!" Alice responded somewhat scornfully.

"Jake is a person, too, Alice. I tell him the same thing when he calls you 'bloodsuckers.'"

"Whatever," she waved her hand dismissively. "And yes, to answer your question, you need to tell Edward you're going to Jacob's tonight or he'll be furious."

"So, Carlisle will agree to take me, then?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, after you call Edward."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not like he's my keeper or anything. I can go if I want to. I don't need his permission."

"No, you don't, but really, it's just a matter of respect," she said gently. "Edward doesn't go running off without telling you where he's going…"

As soon as we both registered what she'd said, her eyes widened and mine filled with tears. "Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry! I wasn't even thinking about it like that."

She held me for a while as some of my seemingly endless waterworks welled and trickled down my cheeks. "It's OK," I whispered. "But, Alice, when is it going to stop hurting like this? I'm tired of being so fragile all the time."

Alice smiled, releasing me and wiping a drop from my cheek. "It's only been a few months since he's been back. You can't expect yourself to just get over it like nothing happened. You may not see it, but you are getting better, Bella. Jasper even said he could sense it, and if any of us would know, it's him. You are healing."

I nodded and tried to smile. I knew if Alice had said something like that to me a couple of months ago, I would have barricaded myself in my room and cried for hours, so in comparison, this reaction was fairly minimal. Maybe I really was healing.

"I can tell you this," she said with authority, "Edward will never again be more than 100 yards from you without telling you where he's going and what he's doing. Sometimes we struggle getting him to leave you long enough to hunt!"

"That's probably overkill…," I said before realizing my double entendre. "I mean the distance, not the hunting."

Alice laughed. "We try not to overkill. Not a good idea to eliminate your food source."

"I suppose not… So, when will things get back to normal between Edward and me?"

"Are you asking me as a friend or a psychic?"

"Both. And as a sister."

She jumped up and down, happily clapping her hands. "Yay! I can't wait!"

I smirked at her antics and she settled down quickly, seeming to remember we were having a rather serious conversation.

"Bella, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this IS normal," she answered.

I must have looked puzzled because she continued before I could speak. "Relationships change all the time, so normal changes, too. It's pointless to keep a set standard for normal."

"OK, so when will things get better?"

"Today. And tomorrow, and next week, and 100 years from now…" she ticked off on her fingers.

I smiled. "When did you get so philosophical?"

"What? Are you saying a girl can't be beautiful, talented, fashionable, and smart?" she giggled. "You need to get with the times, Bella."

"If you were truly progressive, you'd call yourself a woman, not a girl," I teased.

"Touché!"

I decided to be a 'woman' myself and call Edward before Carlisle had a chance to insist upon it.

"Are you OK?" were the first words from his mouth.

"Doesn't anyone say 'hello' anymore?" I griped.

He let out a relieved sigh. "Hello, my love. It's wonderful to hear your voice. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see it. "You don't have to get carried away…"

He laughed. "OK, but you never call me when I'm hunting, so what's up?"

I took a steadying breath. "I'm going to ride along with Carlisle tonight to see Jacob. I just thought you should know so you didn't find out about it after the fact."

"Oh, really?" he sounded surprised and on the verge of sarcastic. I already didn't like his tone. "And are you asking me or telling me?"

"Telling. Asking would involve a question."

"I see… so then, may I ask you a question?"

"Of course," I answered calmly.

"Why did you wait until I was gone to inform me that you were planning to see Jacob?"

I huffed. "Edward, it's not like that. Honestly, everything's been such a whirlwind and I just didn't think about actually going until today. But I do need to see him, before we go to Italy. We have some things to talk about."

"And you're not planning to kiss him again, are you?"

"Edward! Are you kidding me? Of course not!" I answered incredulously.

"I'm sorry…" he said sadly, sounding truly repentant. "I trust you, Bella. I just don't trust him. I mean, it wasn't long ago that he managed to trick you into kissing him, and it was no little peck on the cheek, either."

"I know," I said sadly, also trying to let him hear how truly repentant I was. "It was stupid and I panicked. That's mostly what I need to talk to him about."

"OK. Well, I appreciate you telling me. I don't know why it feels like you should be asking, because there really is no justification for it. I guess it's just my must-protect-Bella-at-all-costs-even-if-it-makes-me-seem-like-a-control-freak mentality kicking into high gear."

"I guess so," I snickered. "Would if make you feel better if I asked you?"

"Well, yeah, maybe… kinda…" he answered sheepishly.

"Edward, darling, can I go with Carlisle to visit Jacob tonight?" I asked demurely.

"NO WAY IN HELL!" he shouted back then laughed.

"You chauvinistic jerk!" I teased, laughing with him.

"Just be safe. My world means nothing without you in it," he whispered sweetly. I heard gagging in the background.

"Tell Emmett and/or Fred to shut it. And I love you, too." I made a loud, sloppy kiss noise into the phone, more for their benefit than Edward's, then ended the call.

Reasonably satisfied with the outcome of those calls, my next one was to Carlisle. Alice stopped me.

"You should wait a while because Carlisle and Esme are looking at an interior design project together."

I might have bought that story if she hadn't given me a mischievous wink and giggled like a school girl.

"UUUUGGGGHHHH! I don't want to know about my future in-laws in that way…" I covered my ears.

"It's not my fault I can see them. I only looked because you were going to call. You really think I want to see Carlisle and Esme going at it? They're all prim and proper in public, but when they get the house to themselves…"

"Mary. Alice. Brandon. Cullen. Not. Another. Word!" I shouted. Of course, she thought this was hilarious.

"I don't know, Bella. You might want Edward to ask Carlisle about some of his moves…"

"Please just bite me and drain all my blood. It's better than this torture."

"Well, fortunately for you, Carlisle and Esme just finished thoroughly examining the kitchen counters, so he'll be getting ready to go visit the Blacks. You can call him in a few minutes."

"TMI! I don't need to know the details! I'll never be able to eat in that kitchen again!"

"Oh, Bella, don't be silly. Those counters are among the least contaminated flat surfaces in that house."

I shoved my fingers into my ears, either trying to muffle the sound or puncture my eardrums. I didn't care which, as long as I didn't have to listen to this. "I don't want to know that. And I really don't want to know how you know that. You say you don't like to spy, but you seem to get such perverse pleasure from it."

"That's not true!" she exclaimed indignantly. "I get perverse pleasure from taunting you about it and making you blush!"

In my exasperation, I growled at her.

"Hey, that wasn't half bad, Bella. That's going to be a real benefit when you're a vampire."

"Great… just what I've always wanted. A convincing growl."

She laughed. "Well, it can come in handy in certain circumstances. Anyway, call Carlisle. He's dressed now."

"Why do I feel dirty all of a sudden…" I grumbled as I dialed.

"Why, hello, Bella!" Carlisle greeted me warmly.

"Finally, someone who knows how to correctly answer the phone!"

He chuckled. "OK, I don't think I'm going to ask the obvious follow-up question… so, what can I do for you?

"I'd like to come along with you to see Jacob tonight."

"Oh…" he paused. "Have you talked to Edward about this?"

I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see it, either. "Yes, and he's fine with it."

"Bella," he said with his best fatherly reprimanding tone. My dad's was still better, but for a 23-year-old, his was pretty good.

"OK, he's not exactly fine with it, but we talked it over and he… consented. I didn't exactly give him a choice, but we're OK. If you don't believe me, call and ask him."

"Of course, I believe you. I just didn't think he would be 'fine with it' as you first indicated. Unless you were talking about a completely different Edward entirely."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "No, same Edward. Just trying to be more reasonable, that's all."

"After 90 years, NOW he tries to be reasonable," Carlisle exclaimed.

"Apparently you can teach an old dog new tricks."

"Speaking of dogs, as the kids like to call them, I'm headed over to Jacob's right now. Why don't I pick you up on the way? Will you be ready?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm ready." I was ready on the outside, but not so sure I was ready on the inside.

"OK, I'll be there soon."

I snapped the phone shut.

"Now, didn't he sound relaxed?" Alice said with a twinkle in her eye.

I grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at her. Of course she dodged it easily. I frowned.

"Bella, really? Even if I couldn't see the future, I could be in Idaho before that pillow got all the way over here," she mocked. I threw another, and again, it missed of course.

"Please, can't you let it hit you just one time? For me?" I whined in jest.

"You are so ridiculous. Alright, fine. If it makes you feel better, but this really is pathetic." She stood there while I gathered the pillows and threw one. Watching it bounce off her head wasn't nearly as satisfying as I'd hoped, but it wasn't bad either.

"Are you happy now?" she asked with a lift of her eyebrow.

"Not even remotely" I said as I threw another, hitting her again.

"Is Edward aware of your violent tendencies?"

"I'm not violent," I said as I threw a large pillow followed by a small one.

"Ha! You didn't see that one coming, did you!" I accused playfully as I raised my hands triumphantly in the air.

She folded her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. I took that to mean 'Yes, Bella, you did, indeed, fool me with your mighty sneak attack.'

"Just wait until I can throw things back. Then if you can hit me, you'll have really accomplished something," Alice remarked with cool confidence.

Carlisle arrived as I shamelessly continued with my victory dance.

Alice walked out to the car with me. "Thank GOD you're here!" she announced to Carlisle. "Bella was pelting me with pillows and I was powerless to stop her."

"That's right!" I exclaimed, ignoring her heavy sarcasm.

"I'm not even going to ask," Carlisle chuckled. "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded as he opened the door for me. I waved goodbye to Alice, blowing her a kiss. She pretended to catch it, throw it on the ground and stomp on it.

"Don't hate the player, hate the game," I yelled, although raising my voice was completely unnecessary. We both laughed as Carlisle headed towards La Push.

We drove in silence for a few minutes before Carlisle asked, "So, have you talked to Jacob recently?"

"Yeah, earlier. He didn't want to talk to me… he hung up on me, in fact, so that's why I thought I should just go there. Has he asked about me?"

"Every time…" Carlisle smiled sadly. "He says he doesn't want to know, but he always manages to bring up the subject anyway."

I shook my head a little before looking out the side window.

"I'm curious," Carlisle eventually started again. "Do you intend to pursue a friendship with Jacob after you've been changed?"

The words stung. I wanted us to be friends, but I wanted my Jake. He was my sunshine, but now he just walked around with a dark cloud over his head. "I don't know… I guess a lot of that will be determined by the outcome of today's little meeting."

It wasn't long before we were pulling up in front of the Black's home. As we exited the car, Carlisle was the subject of many suspicious glances, but no one dared say anything. I was the subject of not only suspicion, but what seemed like scorn and/or confusion. I guess it was fitting, considering I had rejected one of their own in favor of one of their enemies.

Billy opened the door before we'd even reached the porch. "Dr. Cullen! Thanks for coming. Jake's in his room. You should probably have a talk with him about doing too much…" he trailed off when he saw me. "Bella… I'm surprised to see you here. Did Jake know you were coming?"

"No, I just asked Carlisle if I could ride along."

"I don't think he wants to see you, Bella. I can ask him."

"Thanks, Billy."

Carlisle and I waited on the porch until Billy came back. "Dr. Cullen, you can go in. Bella, I'm afraid he can't be reasoned with. I'm sorry."

I was instantly enraged. "No, Billy, I'm sorry," I said as I pushed past him into the house. He called after me, but I didn't stop until I was in Jacob's room, staring him down. My nostrils were probably flaring, which probably wasn't a good look, but I probably didn't care. He was going to talk to me and that was all there was to it.