**-…-**
Edward and I made love that night for the first time. It was slow and passionate and glorious. We kissed and touched and worshipped each other all through the night and well into the morning. Much to my surprise, the first time didn't hurt at all. There wasn't even any blood. Just blissful intimacy as our bodies found each other in all the ways they're supposed to.
As we neared our first mutual climax, I could feel myself sweating, writhing wildly with desire and need. Another surprise was Edward's normally cool skin felt warm against mine, and I knew I could never get enough of him. To his surprise, Edward remained in perfect control, not causing me any harm or pain in the slightest. Only intense pleasure.
As we got closer to finally, after all this time, achieving that beautiful pinnacle of physical love, my shoulder started to twitch. It was only mildly annoying at first, but then it started shaking. Edward was covering my mouth and saying my name.
"Bella… Bella, honey, wake up," he whispered urgently.
Suddenly we weren't in our meadow anymore and the streams of sunlight weren't refracting off Edward's naked backside. We were in a bed, clothed, and although it was still dark, the light from the fire burning in the hearth was enough for me to see we were in an unfamiliar bedroom.
Volterra. We were in Italy. I'm not sure I'd ever been quite so disappointed in my entire life, and Edward seemed to be in a bit of shock himself.
"What… happened." I didn't need to ask IF something had happened. It obviously had.
"I'm going to guess you were dreaming. And I'm pretty sure we both know what it was about…"
I rolled away from him and curled up into a ball, covering my head with the sheet. My face was so hot, I thought I might start the bedding on fire, but I couldn't get that lucky.
"OK, give it to me straight," I directed from my seemingly safe little cocoon.
He scooted in behind me and gingerly stroked the side of my waist. It had felt much better in my dream when it was skin-on-skin. "Well…" he began, but didn't continue.
I waited for a while. "That bad, huh?"
"Well, no… not bad, per se. I guess it depends on how you look at it." I could feel him shrug.
"And how do YOU look at it?"
He chuckled lightly. "Let's just say I'm extremely jealous of that guy in your dreams."
"But he's you!" I protested.
"Trust me. I've never done the things that guy was doing…"
I groaned into my pillow, causing him to laugh some more.
"I wouldn't tell you this, except I don't want you to be caught unaware…" he trailed off.
I popped my head out from my protective covering. "What."
"Well, there at the end, you did sort of… moan and…"
I really didn't want to know what the 'and' was, but I had to. "And?"
"And… you may have said something along the lines of 'Edward, yes… more…'"
I raised an eyebrow at him. "I MAY have said something along the lines of…?"
"Well, take out the word 'said' and put in 'cried out' and take out the words 'may have' and put in 'repeatedly.'"
It took me a second to reconstruct his previous sentence. "Oh. My. God. I'm never going to live this down. How can I face your family? Emmett! Carlisle! They're all going to think… Why didn't you wake me up?"
"I DID!" he exclaimed. "That's why you're awake right now, remember?"
"Well, then why didn't you try to stop me from talking?" I hissed.
"Bella, I did! I even put my hand over your mouth. I tried everything short of holding a pillow over your face!"
"And you gave up on this pillow idea because…?"
He pulled me into his chest. "It's not that bad. Yes, Emmett is already plotting ways to use this against you…" he told me, but added for Emmett's benefit, "…although he won't actually do it if he knows what's good for him."
I mumbled something even I couldn't decipher.
"The good news is, Carlisle and Fred aren't here, so they didn't hear any of it." He was trying to find the bright side, but I wasn't seeing it.
"So only five of your family members heard…" I groused.
"Well, six if you count me…"
"Not helpful, Edward!" I threw the covers over my head again and decided to die in that bed. Of natural causes, of course.
I felt that awful combination of embarrassment and anger mixed with no small amount of betrayal, but not from Edward… from my own mind and body. I struggled with those feelings of intimacy plenty when I was awake and had some control over my actions, but I was completely at the mercy of my brain and hormones while asleep. It wasn't fair.
"I'm kind of worried…" Edward said hesitantly, after several minutes of silence.
Out I popped again. "About what?"
"It's just… I'm not sure I can live up to the me in your dreams. What if I'm a complete failure? Clearly the Edward in your head knows what he's doing, but what if I can't… you know… give you the same experience that he can?"
"Are you thinking I might yell 'less' instead of 'more?'"
He chuckled at my choice of words. "Well, yes, something like that, I suppose…"
I took his face between my hands. His eyes avoided mine until I spoke his name. Then I had his full and undivided attention.
"I have no doubt whatsoever that you will far surpass anything my mind can conjure up," I cooed reassuringly. "Even the best dream is still a dream. But you… you're my dream come true."
The door flew open and Emmett barged in, pretending to choke and hurl.
"What's wrong with you?" Edward shouted. "We're in bed here, if you don't mind!"
"Like I'm interrupting anything," Emmett answered dismissively. "The only thing going on in here is all in Bella's head."
"You're a jackass," Edward fumed. "Get out."
"But there's nothing going on out there, either. I'm bored," Emmett complained. "I know! Bella, go back to sleep and do some more of that talking thing you were doing. Although that sounded like a helluva lot more than talking."
"Emmett Cullen!" I yelped. "Get out of here or so-help-me-God I'll call Esme."
"Oh, you're gonna call my mommy?" he taunted. "And what's she going to do? Spank me? Send me to bed without supper?"
Esme appeared in the doorway behind Emmett, her arms crossed over her chest, as he continued to ramble.
"Oooooohh… I'm so scared, I'm gonna wet myself. Like she could do anything to me. I could kick her skinny butt from here to next… dude, she's behind me, isn't she…"
Edward and I nodded in unison.
Before I could register what happened, Esme had a good grasp on a large chunk of Emmett's hair and had pulled his head down to her level.
"You could kick my skinny butt from here to where, son?" she hissed into his ear. Watching this, I could quite easily picture Emmett as a naughty little four-year-old.
"I'm sorry, Esme. I was just kidding," Emmett rushed to say. It wasn't quite bee-buzz, but it was fast enough that I almost didn't understand him.
"You're going to apologize to Edward and Bella, and then you're going to give me your video games for the duration of our stay here."
"Esme! Noooooooo," Emmett whined. "Not the games! No fair! Plus, you'll be punishing Fred, too. He needs me!"
"I'll just have to explain to Fred that you needed to learn a lesson in respect," she chastised him, raising her eyebrow. "Or, if you prefer, you can explain yourself to your father and see if he'll reduce your sentence!"
Emmett sighed knowing he'd been bested. He swallowed hard before he spoke. I half expected him to choke on some of that pride. "Edward, Bella, I'm sorry."
"For?" Esme prompted, tightening her grip a little. There was a slight smirk on her face, telling me she was probably enjoying this more than she should, although I couldn't exactly blame her. Emmett was fun, but he was also a handful.
He rolled his eyes and almost glared at her before remembering he was in trouble. "For barging in and teasing you about… you know… your 'talking.'"
"Apology accepted," Edward said graciously.
"Alright, let's go collect up your games," Esme ordered, and pulling him by his hair, she told him to "March!"
After they left, Edward chuckled.
"What?" I asked.
"Esme just told me she's not really going to keep his games," he whispered directly into my ear. "She said his complaining would end up being a punishment for all of us."
I giggled. "A truer thing has never been spoken. Or in this case, thought."
"So, where were we?" Edward asked, using his most sensual tone. My brain began to fog over when I suddenly remembered something.
"Where are Carlisle and Fred?"
Edward looked a little put out. "That's not where we were before we were so rudely interrupted."
"I know… but that's what I was just about to ask you before we were so rudely interrupted."
"Well, you missed a few things while you were sleeping," he said softly, brushing the hair back from the side of my face.
"Like…?"
"Like… Aro decided he would compromise further and only meet with Carlisle last night. In a nutshell, Aro wanted some assurances about meeting Fred after Felix reported what happened at the airport. Aro is just about going out of his mind with curiosity about Fred, but he's not going to take any chances, either."
I chuckled. "'Just about going out of his mind,' huh? I think we're too late for that one."
"Good point, well made," he nodded with a smile. "Anyway, Carlisle told him that Fred already felt threatened just by being here and Aro actually had the nerve to laugh, like it was the most preposterous thing he'd ever heard."
"I've had my doubts about Aro's true intentions, of course," I said, "but I've never thought Fred would be in danger here, per se. I mean, we've just been assuming Aro will want Fred to join the guard, but maybe he won't. Even if he does, I think Aro wants Fred to want to stay. It's not good for his reputation to try to force someone against their will."
"Well, I guess we'll find out soon enough. Carlisle took Fred hunting so they could have some sort of 'father-son talk,'" Edward replied.
"Did Aro have anything else to say?"
Edward rolled his eyes. "For one thing, he said he was so thankful that we chose to accept his invitation."
"Yes, we could just barely contain our glee…" I snarked.
"And then he added how pleased he was that the entire 'coven' was able to make the trip."
"Coven?" I exclaimed.
"Carlisle corrected him, of course, but Aro apparently just smiled. He knows the term bothers Carlisle, so he tries to use it whenever possible."
"Jerk," I mumbled.
He smirked. "That, my love, is the understatement of the millennia… Anyway, Aro wanted to shake hands, but Carlisle essentially told him 'not yet' in his diplomatic, 'Carlisle' way."
"Is there any other vampire on the planet who could get away with that?" I laughed.
"I doubt it. Carlisle could probably bring peace to the Middle East. He'd have all those people hugging by the end of the week."
"So, what is he telling Fred?"
He sighed. "It's basically the same thing we've been telling Fred all along. Self-control is the only thing that's going to save him here. If he were to drop Aro and pin him to the ground like he's done to us before, I'm not sure what the consequences might be."
"But nobody could do anything. Everyone else would be pinned down, too, right?"
"Well, yes, but he'd have to let them go eventually," Edward continued, "and as soon as he did, the consequences would probably be quite severe."
"Couldn't he run?"
"I suppose, but to what end? The Volturi would pursue him, if only for the simple reason that he ran from them. The guard has a reputation to uphold. They wouldn't allow him to escape unpunished," he explained. "But even more than that, Fred wouldn't leave his family behind. As much as I've had difficulty with him, Fred has become fiercely loyal to us. There's no way he would save himself and put his family in a likely hostage situation."
"Hostage?" I exclaimed. That thought had never crossed my mind.
"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm just speculating and really, I shouldn't be. The truth is, there are a billion ways this could play out. Even Alice doesn't know what's going to happen."
I nodded. If Alice didn't know, the rest of us had nothing to go on but speculation anyway. And we would drive ourselves mad in the process.
"So, what are we doing today?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"Well, first, your breakfast should be arriving in a couple of hours. And we'll see what Carlisle has to say when he gets back. But I'm going to guess at some point we'll be meeting with Aro and company. Hopefully by then we'll have some information about what to expect." He took my hand lovingly in his. "I know it's probably impossible for you not to worry, but please try. We're going to get through this… together."
**-…-**
The next thing I knew, I was waking up again, but this time without the benefit of a racy dream. It was light out, but my eyes still hadn't focused enough for me to see the hands of the clock across the room.
"It's 8:47," Edward whispered.
"I thought you couldn't read my mind…"
He snickered. "You were squinting at the clock. I hardly need to be a mind-reader to figure that out."
"Are Carlisle and Fred back yet?"
"No, but Alice said they will be here at 10:33, so we have a little time."
He leaned in to kiss me, but I covered my mouth. "Stop it," I said in a robotic monotone, tossing off the covers so I could go use the bathroom. Edward threw himself back onto the bed with dramatic flourish, acting as though he'd been mortally wounded. I heard a slight crack.
"You'd think the beds in Volterra would be more durable," I murmured. "Or maybe some vampires need to be a little less theatrical."
He sat up and took his bows, causing me to giggle as I shut the door. I quickly completed my morning routine, adding a shower when I realized I wasn't quite feeling 'fresh.' When I emerged from the bathroom, Edward was waiting by the door. He swept me into his arms and kissed me passionately.
Once he let me up for breath, I panted," What brought that on? Not that I'm complaining, mind you…"
"I missed you."
"I was only in there for, what, 15 minutes?" I raised an eyebrow.
"No, it was 19 minutes, 12 seconds, which is about 19 minutes, 11 seconds too long."
"So, I'm allowed one second in the bathroom…" I replied drolly.
"Unless you can make it faster…" he kidded.
"Well, if you keep kissing me like that, I might actually try!"
He smiled and wrapped me up into another embrace, our lips finding each other's almost by instinct. I moaned into his mouth, which seemed to signal that the time for kissing was over.
Then I heard a knock at the door and realized THAT was the actual signal for kissing time to be over.
"Come in, Felka," Edward called as I ran my fingers through my hair to get the newly acquired tangles out.
She opened the door slightly, glancing in to make sure it was really OK to enter. I motioned for her to come in, which she finally did, wheeling a server's cart with her.
"Your breakfast, ma'am," she squeaked.
"It's Bella… please don't call me ma'am. It makes me feel old," I joked.
She smiled. "Bella…" It seemed like she was testing out the sound of my name. "In Italian, that means 'beautiful.'"
"Yes, I know. Edward has told me so many times."
He pulled me in close and kissed my temple. "Only because it's true…"
Felka and I both blushed, albeit for different reasons, and she set to work getting my food on the table.
"I can do that. You don't need to wait on me."
"Ma'… I mean, Bella, please let me," she nervously replied. "It was an honor to be chosen and… well, I haven't had many opportunities to show Master Aro that I am worthy of the honor he bestows."
I realized immediately that we were no longer talking about meals. We were talking about life and death. Whether I agreed with her choice or not, she was here and she was not leaving alive.
I nodded slowly in understanding. "I see… well, I'll be sure to mention your excellent service to Aro."
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You would do that? For me? But your coven doesn't approve…"
"First," I corrected her, "we're not a coven. We're a family. And second, you're right. We don't approve of killing people, but even if you're turned, you don't have to drink from humans. The Cullens drink animal blood and when I'm one of them, I'll do that, too."
At that, her eyebrows shot up impossibly higher and her mouth dropped open. "You're going to become… one of them? So Master Aro is going to change you?"
"No!" I exclaimed a little too passionately, but then calmed down quickly. "No, not Aro. Edward is going to do it. After we get married."
"I'm sorry. I thought you were here to be changed. I mean, you're human and you know the secret. How is it that you've been allowed to live?"
I looked apprehensively at Edward. "Aro did say I had to change or die, but he gave us a little time to work out the details. But I'd already made the decision before Aro even knew I existed. If I can have forever with Edward, I'll do whatever it takes."
Edward lovingly kissed the top of my head. Felka was looking at him strangely.
"No," he told her quietly.
"What?" she asked, looking puzzled.
"No, I can't change you. None of us can."
Her eyes were as big as saucers. "How did you know what…?"
"Didn't anyone tell you I can read minds?" Edward asked.
"Oh… no, sir," she mumbled, blushing furiously. I was sort of glad I wasn't the only one who could turn 14 different shades of red. "I'd heard someone in your coven… um… I mean, family, could do that, but I thought it was just a rumor. We don't get much information about special visitors of your kind."
"I see. Well, that particular rumor happens to be true. And no, you can't hide your thoughts from me – trust me, people try all the time," he said with a wink and a smile.
She blushed.
"I just want you to know it's not about you," Edward tried to reassure her. "The Brothers have strict rules about who is turned in Volterra. We can't just come in here and start biting people on a whim."
After a moment, he sighed. "You know we can't do that, either."
"But she's human…" Felka gestured to me. "And she's leaving with you, isn't she?"
"Of course she is, but Bella's a special case. She may have a gift, and you know how Aro is about the gifted."
Felka nodded, but then looked at Edward once more, an unspoken plea written on her face.
"I'm sorry, but that wouldn't make a difference to him, and I could never do that," he answered.
"I didn't think so, but it was worth a shot," she said with a slight smile before turning to roll her cart out and closing the door behind her.
"What was that about?" I asked.
"I don't think you want to know," he cautioned.
"Try me," I said as I sat down to an amazing-looking breakfast.
Edward pulled up a chair next to me. "Please don't let this affect your opinion of her. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and she's getting pretty desperate."
"That bad?" I asked.
"Well, it's not good. She thought maybe Aro would let me change her if I said I wanted to…"
"To…?" I prompted.
"To marry her. Not instead of you, but in addition to you."
"Polygamy? That's illegal."
"Illegal!" he blurted through a snort. "Is that your primary concern?"
I had to chuckle, too. "Well, that and nobody else is getting her hands on my man."
"Oooohhh… possessiveness becomes you, Miss Swan," he teased, then added more soberly, "but really, it wouldn't matter if I married 50 humans. Aro didn't allow you to live because we were a couple. He allowed it because he's interested in your gift. He doesn't care one iota that you and I are mates and destined to be married."
"Aro is much too pragmatic for romance."
"He sees himself as a romantic, but you definitely see him more accurately than he does," Edward replied.
"So, Felka might not make it. She obviously isn't convinced if she's trying to make contingency plans."
"I was going to suggest that she consider continuing to live as a human servant here, but I don't even know if that's an option, and even if it was, I'm not sure she'd want to take it," Edward replied grimly.
"I really don't understand the draw to this place," I said with a shiver. "I have a very good reason for wanting to make the change. For me, it's not about eternal youth and beauty or superhuman strength and speed, or even immortality. It's for love. I can't imagine having a lesser reason than that."
"Most of us never had a choice, but the ones that do? I'm with you. I don't understand why anyone would want this so-called life. I can still barely believe that you're willing to make the change… for me." He took my hand in his and softly kissed my knuckle.
"Let's not get carried away, now," I chided. "It's not entirely selfless. I'm changing for me, too."
He looked at me, clearly puzzled by something that seemed completely obvious to me.
"I want to be with you forever."
He started to interrupt, but I kept going. "You've said if I died, you would have someone kill you. I can't even contemplate allowing that to happen when I could make it completely unnecessary."
"Bella, we've gone over this time and time again. You can't do this because you're worried about me."
"And why not?" I asked abruptly. "You would die to save me, right? Why can't I die to save you?"
"Well… that's not… it's just…" he stumbled over his words, which he almost never did, "you can't… it's just… different."
"Oh, really? And how is it different exactly?" I challenged.
"For one thing, I'm already dead, so there."
"You think that wins the argument?" I laughed at his cockiness. "You might not be human, but you're not dead either. I know this because a dead man wouldn't be aggravating me right now."
"Touché, my love… touché."
"OK, but seriously, Edward, this would be an example of you thinking you love me more than I love you. You allow yourself the luxury of being all noble and selflessly dying for me, but I'm not allowed to do the same? If it works on your side of the equation, it has to work on my side, too, or we're not equals."
I was sort of breathing heavy after my impassioned little rant. I wasn't sure where that came from, but I wasn't going to take back a word of it. Edward was looking at me with a combination of confusion, uncertainty, and perhaps a little bit of awe. Or at least that's how I chose to interpret it.
After a few long moments, I couldn't take the silence anymore. "Please say something," I implored.
"Sorry… a little lost in thought over here. So, I'm not done talking about this, but you have given me a few new things to think about…"
I smiled, doing a happy victory dance on the inside. "That's all I ask. Think about it, and then put yourself in my shoes. Would you be willing to change if our places were reversed?"
"Of course I would," he answered with no hesitation. "But I'm… you know… the guy. I'm supposed to do whatever it takes…"
I smiled and put my finger over his lips. "There is a fine line between chivalry and sexism, and you're in danger of crossing it, my dear."
"Remember when I said I'm not old-fashioned," he chuckled. "Yeah, strike that."
"Oh, I never did take that seriously," I laughed with him.
"OK, fair enough," he had to admit. "So, I don't know what to say, Bella. I know you're right, but it just seems so… so wrong."
"Well, just stick with the part about me being right and forget how it seems"
Edward looked toward the door. "Carlisle and Fred are almost back. Carlisle wants me to gather everyone in his room."
There was a knock at the door. "Yes, Alice, I got the message. Go ahead and tell everyone and we'll be right there."
I took a few more bites of the fluffy blueberry waffles, wondering what was in store for us next.
When Edward and I arrived in Esme's sitting room, we took the open loveseat near the fireplace, which I'm sure had been lit for me. The castle was drafty and cold and it made me wonder where the other humans lived. My attention was diverted when Carlisle and Fred entered.
Carlisle was about to speak, when he was interrupted by a positively beaming Fred. "You guys. You won't believe this. I met someone."
**-…-**
A/N: OK, so I suppose this is a bit of a "Merry Christmas" cliffie, but not a bad one, right? I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and a Happy New Year. Thanks for reading!