Before you beat me, I'm giving you only 500 words for Nick this chapter. 1500 for Blaine. How's that. Perfect? I'm about to get real with him, so be amped. I just want Nick to get out of the way first…

Nick wasn't sure how they ended up the way they did. All he knew is that Jeff had his arm pinned to the mattress with his torso and didn't seem to be moving any time soon. In fact, Nick was sure he wouldn't be, soft snores emanating from his roommate who was currently curling into his chest. He looked so peaceful, while Nick himself was a complete and utter mess.

He didn't know what had been going on with him lately. It seemed like every single thing Jeff did sent butterflies into his stomach, and it was getting weird; he was getting weird… Nick had been picturing the blond when he sang love songs for Pete's sake. What was that even about? His fingers laced though Jeff's hair absently as he basically had an existential war with himself. Who was Nick without Jeff? And, better question, who would Nick be with Jeff. Like… what if Jeff and him ever got, like… together. Like, together together?

Nick's stomach was churning just with the thought. He didn't like that idea. Well… it's wasn't bad, but there was too much to go wrong. Being with Jeff would be scary; the threat of it going down hill would forever be over their heads.

But that didn't change how Nick felt.

He had been on the brink of saying he had loved Jeff earlier. He had. And he didn't know if he was happy he had stayed quiet or not… It had taken him a good bit of time for Nick to figure everything out, and it wasn't until recently that he had, but Nick hated keeping secrets from Jeff. He never did, and this felt weird.

However, it seriously hadn't been for long. It was Sebastian that actually helped him figure it out just a couple hours ago. Nick had really hated him saying all those things about Jeff, and maybe… maybe it was just how much he hated it that had him figure it all out… but now? Now being this close to Jeff was a little too hard. Stupid Sebastian…

Seriously. Stupid Sebastian.

How could a single human being be so completely revolting? What person would… would do something like that to another? Blaine… Blaine had already been through hell and back twice, why… Why would he…? Ugh. Nick just didn't get it. The other boy appeared to be constantly out for blood. It didn't make sense.

He hoped Blaine was okay…

Blaine remembered Jeff immediately placing him into Wes's awaiting arms, but he couldn't seem to feel him anymore. Blaine felt completely alone. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he was sobbing, and he was pretty sure it was getting impossible for him to breathe, but… but he just couldn't feel. He could feel anything that he was supposed to, that he normally could. It was like his whole body was numb, and he couldn't take it.

Shit, did that just happen? Blaine shook his head back and forth as fast as he could, not able to feel the air whipping on his tear-soaked cheeks, but he was still hoping that somehow it would clear away the memory of being touched there, and there, and there... The whole thought of it had his brain crawling, and Blaine was suddenly happy his body was numb. He didn't want to feel where Sebastian's lips touched.

All at once, Blaine ached for Kurt. Kurt knew what this felt like… Kurt could understand. He had always been able to get him. Plus, David Karofsky had kissed him in a nonconsensual way once.

Oh, shit…

Nonconsensual.

The word immediately forced everything to feel so much more real. It made Blaine feel dirty, and wrong, and –shit, shit, shit- had he just been raped? Is that what that was? He didn't even know… Blaine curled his fists into what he was assuming to be Wes's blazer, but he couldn't feel anything and he couldn't see anything, he was crying so hard, and he didn't really care to.

Maybe this was just a sign that he would eventually just completely deteriorate, and then he wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. His sobs weren't anywhere close to subsiding, each one attached with a heave of his chest that made his head hurt. The difficulty of his breathing was growing into a problem he couldn't ignore, and crowded as his mind was, it eventually had to become the center of his attention.

Bam!

The second his thinking switched to something substantial, the whole world zoomed back into surface. The noise level of the room was deafening, thanks to his sobs, and Wes had at some point maneuvered them onto a bed. He had been plopped into the older boy's lap, and Blaine just wasn't sure what to do with himself.

Of course, that didn't matter. He couldn't do anything anyway, he was crying so hard. Ugh, what was this? What was anything? It may be a little over dramatic, but Blaine was about at the point where he felt like his entire life was a sham. God had really given him the short end of the stick… Kangaroo court indeed…

Wes had a tight grip around him, and Blaine noticed how deep he had fallen into him. His hands were twisted up into the other boy's lapel, knuckles white. He couldn't see Wes's face, but he knew he was probably scared. He could feel tension in his shoulders under his head, and he figured that Jeff's brief explanation probably hadn't been enough for him.

But he wasn't going to go there again. Never. He didn't even want to think about not talking about it. He just wanted to not… think. Ever again, thank you very much. As confused as he was, he didn't want to admit to anything having happened in the first place.

"Blaine-a-bee…" Wes whispered into his hair, and Blaine couldn't help but melt a little bit. He knew a bit better than anyone that Wes hated to be called a mama bear, but… but he really was. Not in a bad or teasable way, he just… he really cared. And God knows how badly he needed someone to care.

"I… I…" Blaine's mouth refused to work with him. He wanted to talk to Wes, tell him not to worry, that he was okay… That's who he was. He couldn't forget about how those around him felt, but apparently he could be physically unable to do anything about it. He was trembling, but the more he tried to stop, the worse it got.

"Don't fight it," Wes instructed him reasonably, and Blaine let his muscles relax, shaking considerably less but still jerking about noticeably. "It's okay, buddy. I won't let him touch you again. None of us are going to; you don't have to worry. I promise, okay?" he asked like he had said the words a thousand times, and Blaine realized he probably had. He just hadn't acknowledged it.

"I…"

"Don't worry," he repeated, but Blaine couldn't… he couldn't just do that. Sebastian had touched him, and… and… and suddenly the world had slipped out from beneath him again as he set off on another wave of sobbing. He couldn't feel, he couldn't feel, he couldn't feel, he couldn't breathe… "Come back to me, Blaine!" Wes's voice filtered through his head, and he tried to focus on a proper inhale, successfully sending him back to reality.

"He was everywhere Kurt was supposed to be, Wes," he wailed, tears slipping down his face, Wes making a feeble attempt to wipe them away with is already soaking hands. Apparently a lot happened when Blaine spaced out…

"I know, buddy. It's gonna be okay… you'll find someone who's gonna have you forever to touch you there instead…" he somehow managed to choke out, and Blaine gagged on his tears. He couldn't handle this anymore, oh crap… His chest heaved with every breath and his head hurt like someone was stabbing him, specifically right behind his eyes.

"Everywhere, Wes. Like… L-like I w-w-wan'ed it," he stammered, and the hold Wes had on him tightened impossibly. He buried his face somehow further into the crook of his neck. "I just… I hate him. I hate him so much." A low, guttural sound came from the back of Wes's throat.

"So do I. I freaking hate everybody."

Blaine snickered, and the idea of him laughing sent him into further hysteria until he was actually rolling on the floor giggling. He didn't care that Wes was looking at him like he was crazy. He didn't. Because it was just too funny. His life was just such a joke; it was to damn funny. How wasn't Wes laughing? This was ridiculous. A fresh bough of tears hit him out of nowhere, and he was sitting on the floor alone, crying.

"It's not funny," he said sadly, and Wes just nodded because it was true, and Blaine cried harder. "It's so not funny." He didn't know what he was doing. His emotions were all over the place and he couldn't actually… He couldn't deal with this right now. He couldn't. There was too much to handle, and he was… he was so hurt and broken, and… and why did things happen this way? Why did it all go wrong at once?

"I don't think this is gonna be one we laugh at when we look back on it someday," Wes agreed solemnly and Blaine collapsed into another fit of giggles. He couldn't do this… Oh gosh, he couldn't do this.

"Wes, I… I…" he shook his head, tears still falling in sheets down his face but he was still laughing, "I can't… I can't handle this," he stammered out, and Wes got down on the ground. His hand latched onto one of his ankles.

"No, you don't appear to be." Blaine sobered up at his words. Wes bit his lip, obviously about to say something else. "Blaine… Blaine, you know I'm here for you. I think I've made it pretty obvious… and I know I might have broken your trust the other day, but… but I'm so sorry about that, Blaine-a-bee," he said, voice cracking. "I am so, so sorry. I don't want a single other reason for you to be upset, and… and I'm so sorry about not telling you. I'm so sorry for seemingly giving up on you. I think you can do this Blaine, just… just don't give up yourself," he begged, and Blaine didn't know what to do.

"It's okay, Wes…"

"No. It's not… I should have saved you again today, and I wasn't there… Jeff was the one to walk you back up here, and… crap, Blaine, I'm so sorry," Wes was visibly upset, but he was obviously trying to stay strong for Blaine, something that he quite appreciated because he was still a sniveling mess on the hardwood.

"But I'm… I'm gonna be okay, Wes. It just… it just hurts now," he assured him, and Wes didn't look pleased or comforted by the statement. He snatched up Blaine's hand anyway.

"I promise to make sure of that, Blaine."

Awesome? Look at me. I screwed up with Niff, but I still am getting my Delayed Regret done on time!