A/N: Again, This is not sweet or fluffy. People are not sweet and fluffy. If everyone started out as good buddies, there would be no room for character development.

There is violence and coarse language in this chapter. Mara is not a fluffy bunny, she is tooth and claw.

Mara'd been keeping secrets, of course she had- you never show all your cards at once- but she had wanted to get them to give her the Aether. She wanted them to ask for help because again, nobody would believe the truth. Stealing the Aether placed her squarely on a path that she would have to commit to, and she hated the path.

Once she had the Aether, she wouldn't be able to slow-play this game anymore. She knew herself too well. The second Duke or Blondie started looking at all ill, Mara would break and she'd heal them. Once she did that, they wouldn't need her anymore. Either they'd try to kill her or give her to the Guard. Both were unacceptable. She'd have to hide. To really hide, because her mother would come looking. But she still couldn't actually leave. They needed her protection.

She could steal the Aether and hide it, at least until they started getting obviously sick. That gave her a short grace period.

Nodding to herself, Mara checked that the blade was red hot, shoved a wad of torn towel in her mouth and grabbed the bolt cutters. In one sharp movement she cut her toe off and shoved the red-hot blade against the wound, cauterizing it. The smell of cooked flesh made her stomach twist. Forcing down the shaking, Mara spit the towel out and picked up the toe, waiting for it to turn, burning away the bits of person that were in it and leaving her a single, perfect orb. Letting it sit on her papers, Mara bound the wound, wrapping several layers over it and tying it off securely. Through the whole thing, she never made a sound.

Nauseated, pale and shaking, Mara bound her Intent to the orb in her hand. If it could do nothing else, it must bring her the Aether. If it could happen to bring Garland's journal with it, she'd be grateful, but nothing was more important than her Aether. She activated and released the orb, taking a swig.

She had to find a hiding place, one that Duke would never check. Something he didn't even know existed. Those were in very short supply. So she would have to make what she wanted.

Her eyes traveled the room, looking for anywhere that she could- bingo.

There was a length of copper piping running along one corner. She left it capped but extended it just a few inches, nothing anyone would notice, and shaped a capped tube that she could hide inside.

At least she hadn't lost her edge. She may be pathetic, but she was still smart.

The orb came back holding her container of precious Aether just a few minutes later, and Mara could almost feel the euphoria of using it as she gazed rapturously at the brilliant, sparkling fire.

It was like Christmas had come early- it had brought her Garland's journal, too.

She knew what normal people saw when they looked at Aether. Dusty black balls. But it had never looked like that to Mara. To her, the Aether swirled with dancing color, the pulse of life and possibility radiating from the orbs in waves. It knew people, it knew their deepest hearts and it chose who could use it. If you weren't born with the ability, you weren't going to get the ability, not in any meaningful way.

She had even tried giving the ability once, but the second she gathered the Intent, the Aether went from clinging to her hand excitedly to curling into a dormant orb. She hadn't tried to force it, and so Mara was punished. She seemed to bring that out in a lot of people.

Her foot was throbbing, so she crossed her ankles on the other chair after she hid her Aether, naked and relaxed and drinking when there was loud thumping from above and Duke walked back into her prison with a tray. He put it down before he looked at her and she almost smiled when he turned. His face itself didn't change expression any more than hers did, but Mara lived for details. She saw his pupils dilate with lust. She wasn't even trying to cover anything, ankles crossed on the chair in front of her and the hand that held the bottle gesturing at him while she took a drink.

"Dinner. You've still got to eat."

One of her least favorite times of the day. Meals. Invariably what he though Audrey would like, and never anything Mara would eat herself. Not that she'd lower herself to telling them that she was vegetarian.

His gaze still hadn't left her though and she looked thoughtfully at him, wondering what had finally caught his attention. She drank again, offering him the bottle.

Mara was surprised when he took it, not even looking away as he took several deep swallows of the amber fire. She didn't drop her gaze as she asked, "And what type of road kill is on the menu tonight, warden?"

He looked like she'd answered some kind of question, the shadow of a smile touching his lips for a moment as he spoke. "Mushroom soup, Mara."

She sat a little straighter but tried to hide her enthusiasm. He'd barely ever said her name without having to. "Thanks." She blushed when she realized she'd said it but stretched her arms over her head to draw attention from her face.

Duke did smile this time. "You become a nudist since this afternoon?"

She shrugged and stood, stretching her arms backwards now. "No. I took a bath and didn't want to wear old clothes."

"You have clean clothes on that crate right there, I told you that when I put them there."

"Fine then. I took a bath and didn't want to wear any clothes. I choose the right to be nude."

"That's totally up to you, I just thought it might be a little cold for you."

"You're a terrible liar. You're just thinking about how the cold would affect you. I have nothing to hide."

Duke just smiled, and Mara was starting to get irritated. She wanted a fight. She wanted to feel alive. She didn't want to be treated like some de-fanged pet viper, being thrown mice like pity offerings. She wanted prey.

She wanted to hunt. She wanted to employ tooth and claw and she wanted the physical pain of a strike.

But Duke wasn't as easy to get to as Nathan. He rarely showed the soft underbelly, the things that could actually stir him to wrath. If he wouldn't give her something to work with, she'd have to push a button she'd planted herself.

But she'd rather not do that. She had so few sweet memories with him, she didn't want to sully one of the few she had. She'd consider as long as she could buy time.

"You eating in here tonight?"

"I thought you might be tired of always eating alone."

"Yeah, it sucks not being invited to sit with the cool kids."

He flat out smirked that time, putting the two place settings out as she sat across from him. He glanced dryly at her chains, picking up the metal sculpture that had dried around Mara's foot. She wonder if it would be worth something now that she was down a toe, if that would make it a collector's item. She should sign it and give it to Duke. She refused to limp or show any trace of pain as she went back to her seat. "You can have that. It could be a candle holder. Might be worth money one day."

"Yeah, well I didn't know you were so artistic or maybe I'd have left you some clay."

"Clay would be nice, I find underwater basket-weaving incredibly tiresome."

They sat across from each other and Mara tried to enjoy being drunk without showing Duke how drunk she was. She took a bite of the soup and had to restrain herself from scarfing it down, fighting to look like it bored her as much as everything else. But she was so hungry. She hadn't eaten any of the garbage they'd tried to feed her yet, subsisting on the oatmeal she got in the morning and the vegetables that were served with her meals.

"So what did you do with your afternoon?"

"I do have a business to run."

"Oh, did the cook at the Gull make this? You should give him a raise. Everything else I've had has been abysmal."

Duke raised his eyebrow. "I'm glad you like it, I made it myself."

Tonight was just not her night. Even her insults were coming out as compliments. She stared at him as she ate- every bite for the first time since they'd locked her up- and wondered how she could regain the upper hand. Or get more food, either would do.

She stacked their dishes and put them on the tray in a corner, flaunting the lack of chains and swaying her hips as she walked. She took another drink from the bottle before she walked away from their makeshift table, purposely brushing against Duke's body as she did.

Her foot was aching but worse was the desire to be touched. Mara left her hair down and came to sit close in front of Duke so they could share the bottle.

"I see you found my emergency stash."

"I did. One of them, anyway. A man like you, you've got to have at least four emergency stashes."

Duke looked Mara up and down like she was fascinating- some puzzle that he hadn't managed to crack yet. She passed him the bottle again.

Duke leaned back in his chair. "And what did you do tonight, besides bathe and melt things?"

Mara smirked. "Oh, you know. Broke my nail cursing someone. Nothing new."

Duke smirked. "So, just general misery and mayhem?"

Shrugging, Mara took a drink and crossed her ankles.

"It's better than decoupage or scrapbooking, Duke." She loved saying his name, but she hated it at the same time. It made her skin tingle, made the thought of Duke that surrounded her feel tangible. Sitting here, so close to him, it felt like sitting next to a bonfire. She was tempted to hold her hands over him to warm up. She scooted closer, fascinated that he could generate so much warmth. Like the snake they thought her to be, she wanted to curl up on him. She moved her hand to rest on his leg, curious when he didn't react.

"Well, I can't really argue that. Might do you both good to make up more diverse hobbies, though."

"I'm always up for learning new things, but I doubt you'll find Nathan as... adventurous as I am. Her hand slid up Duke's thigh an inch.

Duke took the bottle, drinking slowly as he studied her. He was so beautiful it stole her breath and her hand squeezed a bit.

They stared at each other and Mara's heart was flying, beating too fast. It was like he was a magnet, she found herself moving forward against her will- though she wasn't really fighting it much- and touched her lips to Duke's, her hand winding around the back of his neck and into his hair.

Gloriously alive, he kissed her back and his taste- like bourbon and vanilla beans, was addictive. Mewling in her throat, Mara scooted into his lap, both hands in his hair. The feel of his facial hair on her face made her groan, pressing into him and kissing harder, deeper. They kissed for several long minutes when his hands came up to her waist. Her breath stuttered and she thought her heart would burst from his chest, but when his hands tightened, he pushed her off his lap, planting her squarely in her own chair.

And he just stared at her, taking another drink. He looked utterly unaffected.

The alcohol was coursing through her, making her want to talk too much. Making her want to touch. If she could get Duke into the touching then she wouldn't think of the talking.

She shook her hair back, staring at Duke's lips. Violence or sex, sex or violence- she needed something and she was willing to push to get it.

"Don't you ever get tired of playing the good warden? So pure and untouchable? Wouldn't you, just once, like to see what it felt like to be the bad warden?"

She slid her chair closer to his, touching his thigh again. "Don't you want to know, just out of curiosity, what if feels like to take this body? I know you've thought about it. Dreamed about it. I won't tell, it can be out secret."

Duke was the picture of amused ease. "That's where you're wrong, sweetheart. It was never about the body. It was the woman inside the body."

Oh, that stung. Not that she'd let him know it. She smiled lazily. "That's what makes it so interesting. See, I am the woman inside the body. The others, they lived on the outside, like clothes or masks. No, I'm the one inside. The one who gave you that locket." She leaned close and dropped her voice. "I'm the one who kissed you in Colorado." She smiled, still in his personal space. "It was me and you know it was me. You've always been able to tell us apart, haven't you, Crocker?"

Finally, a reaction. Not verbal, he stayed silent. But the tic in his jaw, the vein in his temple, that slight flare around his nostrils- she knew these motions, knew what they meant and why he made them.

Drunk and desperate but still in control, Mara turned her face toward him and purposely changed her voice and posture to look like Audrey. "I can be her. I can show you what it would have been like, since you're curious."

She felt his jerk, heard the harsh inhale that said she was affecting him but not how much. She only had one thing left that might catch his attention, although it would force her to offer a sweet, cherished memory of her own. So how badly did she need sightsoundsmelltaste touch? Was she desperate enough to offer a memory, knowing he might sully it?

She'd probably be dead or caged again soon anyway. Might as well try now. She had to swallow before her voice changed completely, the sneering, scornful edge gone, her real voice sweet as warm honey, dark and rich with age and secrets. "Or you can relive a different moment, Duke. The first time you ever touched a woman. The night before your wedding. The night you got married. The night I asked you to come home. The night I begged you to remember. The night you forgot."

Duke's head whipped around to stare at her, his eyes wide and disbelieving. Mara's expression didn't change at all, just staring as he met her eyes. "Oh yes, Duke. I remember them all. The grudge fucks and the making love. I'm the thing in your life that doesn't change."

"No."

He was getting angry. That would be good for her either way. "Oh yes. The night before you married Evi, I came to beg you to call it off. You were so angry. Asked why I cared at all if I didn't care enough to come for you. I slapped you. Do you remember that?"

He nodded silently.

"And what did you do, Duke? What did you do?"

His whole torso twisted, grabbing Mara and jerking her against him, his hands like iron bars around her arms. He yanked her into his lap, twisting one hand into her hair to hold her in place while he kissed her, his left hand never letting go of her wrist. He stood, pushing her back against the crates until he could lift her, pushing her back to lie down, holding her right wrist down as he opened his jeans and pushed them down out of his way. He hooked his hand under her left knee, yanking it up higher as he pressed against her.

"Is this it, Mara? Is this what you want?"

His face was red, his eyes black as Aether, and Mara screamed as she answered.

"Yes!"

Duke pushed into her and they both gasped. Mara's chest was tight with an emotion she didn't understand. Her legs tightened around Duke and finally, finally she was feeling something. But in her drunken haze she had forgotten she was in the grip of the hypersensitivity and she was out of control- hurting and wanting and needing all at once.

"Please!" Mara shouted. "Duke please!"

He slowed, pulling almost all the way out just to push back in, watching her hair move against the wood of the crate. "What, Mara? What do you want?"

"Harder!" She gripped at him as he increased the speed and force of each thrust, a punishing rhythm that made her teeth rattle. She still had one arm free, and she clutched him to her, trying to feel as much as possible, her hand fisted in his shirt.

Her back arched and Duke pushed deep, making her cry out wordlessly. Every movement was carefully orchestrated, yet they did it without thinking. This is what had happened the night Lucy had told Duke not to marry Evi. He had taken her under the moonlight, forcing her to admit the truth- that she didn't want him with Evi because she wanted him for herself.

He was strong and aggressive and built for stamina, and part of her, a part that was very much in control tonight needed to release that control. She needed to trust someone else to be stronger than her for just a little while. So Duke held her leg and her wrist as he ground into her over and over. "Say it, damnit." He drove harder and she shouted.

"Say what?"

"You know what! Say it!"

He pulled her leg higher and changed his angle, making her stutter and shout with every thrust. She screamed, the hypersensitivity drowning everything else out. The hitch of his voice, the quiet moan in his chest even as he shouted at her, the slap of their skin; the pain and pleasure and feeling hiding anything else as he fucked her, hard, against a stack of crates.

She couldn't hold it back anymore, tears coursed down into her hairline. Past, present and future collided on a stack of crates in the cargo hold of the Cape Rouge and Mara screamed four words, four words that repeated throughout her life, through every incarnation and every free period. Every time she had willingly gone back into slavery it had been uttering the same four words.

"Because I love you."

Duke came with a groan and a sob, releasing her wrist and wrapping his arms around her.

Mara's heart pounded like a freight train. She had said the words, the words that gave him power over her, and she was afraid. She didn't handle fear well. It made her want to bite and snap and sink her claws in so nobody would see her soft spot.

But she had heard Duke cry. Maybe he would let her in. She was silent with her arms around him, and she moved to kiss his head.

The moment that kiss landed, though, Duke jerked away, pulling out of her body, leaving her cold and sore, sprawled on the crates. He barely glanced at her, his expression distant and, if she was honest, unimpressed. He yanked his pants up, grabbed the tray with the bowls and looked her up and down, shaking his head in what looked like disgust.

And he left the room without a word.

She pushed herself up, pulling on her clothes and brushing her hair. She wasn't going to show any emotion. She certainly wouldn't cry.

At least he'd left the bottle.

She grabbed it and drank, sitting on the ground with her knees bent up, holding Garland's journal in her lap.

Duke thought he could hurt her by making her feel worthless. Idiot. She'd felt worthless at birth and it had only gone downhill since then. Charlotte had recorded every session. Men who were willing, men who were drugged, men who believed they were dreaming. Over and over. The men who had been used unwillingly had always had their memories altered. Many she didn't know at all, but after she'd conceived James with Nathan, she'd had to see him, eyes absent, thinking he was dreaming.

Mara chugged, staring at a wall as she sat curled up. The Maze on her wrist glowed and she used the blank wall as a screen, projecting the memories. He thought he could hurt her by treating her like a whore. She had desensitization therapy for that.

She let some of the older ones play first. The ones from when she was still young and relatively innocent. The ones that made Mara hate herself because of the tears. The sound played quietly.

She continued to drink as the days and years passed, different names and faces, but always Mara in the Barn. Then Sarah happened.

Oh, her mother had been so angry when Mara came back, her test results showing she'd had a child. Mara wouldn't tell though, wouldn't tell anything, and James had stayed safe. Then the faces in the videos changed. People that Charlotte thought were possible matches. Vince and Dave mostly- like everyone in Haven, Charlotte assumed that one of her two best friends had knocked her up.

Then Lucy. Things had gotten more interesting then. More faces that she knew. Driscoll twice, Garland twice. Simon. Max.

The ones that had taken, Charlotte had made dedicated files on, removing the children just before they could survive outside the womb. Their tiny bodies rested in drawers in her mother's lab, perfectly preserved.

Nathan. So many times Charlotte had used Nathan, drugging him, making him think he was dreaming. And Mara had cared too much about him to turn sweet dreams into nightmares. For him, they were mystical signs that he belonged with Audrey, that they were his soul connecting with hers before he ever met her in person.

Before she existed, really. But Nathan didn't know and she had no reason to hurt him.

Mara went through the recordings from Duke slowly. He'd call her Lucy, usually. Occasionally she'd flip to one of the times she'd gone to his dreams, studying the way he looked when he was happy, the way his hands traveled over her skin. Then she'd play one of the other recordings, stupid, foolish girl holding her arms out for him, whispering loving words to him. She had always looked after him, and the first time a procedure took, she let the confrontation play as she drank, dulling the ache in her chest and her foot.

She had wanted to keep that baby. She had fought- thrashing, kicking, hitting. She'd stabbed her mother in the arm with a scalpel. In retribution, Charlotte hadn't put her to sleep, issuing only a paralytic so that Mara was awake to hear the gurgles, the attempt to cry. She heard his last shallow breath, unable to touch him or talk to him or comfort him in his last hour.

Three more of Duke before they replaced Mara with Audrey, and the last one, Momma had been away on business. Something, gods only knew what, had delayed her. Mara gave birth alone in a cold, sterile room that smelled of antiseptic. She held that child, seen that the girl was gifted, even nursed her.

When Mara called, William came. William always came, even when he was pretending to work for their mother. Mara had begged and pleaded, crying until William caved, wrapping the baby up, giving Mara enough Aether to put her in stasis and then hiding her the only place their mother couldn't search- the Void.

That baby was still safe, somewhere. One day she'd be free to go after her, to hold her and raise her and give her all the love she'd been holding in reserve. It was true- no human could love her, but her baby would. She kept the tiny face blown up on the wall. Curly black hair, one blue eye and one silver.

Mara had taken their insults; their accusations and recriminations, never bothering to correct their misconceptions because they'd never believe. Mara had been trying to get to the Void for just two things. Enough Aether to save Audrey and Duke, and the chance to find her child, the one she hadn't failed. But she'd been locked out when they banished her, and now she couldn't get in even if she got her freedom.

She shoved her sleeves up and drained the bottle, watching that sweet face that looked so much like Duke as she melted the bottle in her hands, carefully forming a miniature Rouge. When it was done, she put it on top of a crate. She left the Maze showing. She should leave. Take her things and hide until the others got sick and asked for help. After that, she'd decide what came next. Go find her baby and kill her mother- not necessarily in that order.

She was staring at those lovely wide eyes when she heard it. She was obviously too drunk, she never let people sneak up on her.

"Who's that?"

The Maze on her wrist lit brightly, but Mara just muttered, "Nobody important to you."

"How many times, Mara?"

"How many times what? You'll have to be more specific."

"How many times did you give birth?"

"Birth or live birth? Most were taken before they could breathe. Alive enough to hear? Maybe seven. That survived? Just her and James. Since James is gone, just her."

"How many times did that happen?"

"The sex? I don't know. I was sedated sometimes. What's it matter?"

"It just does."

Her laugh was harsh and bitter. "Don't worry about it. You're not the first person to leave me like that. Not the first to look at me like that. I know what I am."

Duke's voice was quiet and remote. "Whose is she?"

Mara didn't spare him a glance. "Mine."

"I mean, who is her father?"

"Biologically? You." He'd been expecting it- you couldn't see that silver eye and black hair and not think of Duke- but it still looked like he'd been hit in the stomach.

"How?"

Mara raised an eyebrow at him. "Seriously? You wouldn't believe me. None of you would. I'm not human and you hate me. I wasn't about to tell you. Whores don't come up to you on the street and ask if you remember them, Crocker. Take a good fucking look!" Mara zipped back to the beginning, speeding through each session, leaving it impossible to count. When the picture disappeared, Duke's voice was cold.

"Some of those looked like people I know."

"Because they are. Vince and Dave, Max and your father, Garland and the Rev. You and Nathan."

"Why?"

"She wants to learn. My mother wants to know what makes me different and she thinks the answer lies in how I reproduce. Who can get me pregnant."

"Who got you pregnant?" She stared at him for a long moment, trying to decide if he was being purposely cruel.

"I don't know all their names. You, Nathan, Dave, Max, Simon. Why do you care?"

"Because I don't remember sleeping with you!"

They were raising their voices, and Mara was hoping maybe she'd get that fight after all.

"You didn't sleep with me! You fucked me. Nobody ever slept with me. She drugged you, if you'd remembered anything at all you'd have thought it was a dream."

"You said that's my kid out there!"

"You were drugged, Duke. You're not responsible for her and I don't want anything from you."

"Mara..."

"Don't look at me like that. Don't pity me. You know what I am. I'm surprised you didn't just throw a $5 bill on me before you walked out."

"I never said that."

"Didn't have to. How long were you there?"

"Awhile. I heard when you asked William to take her. You left her in the Void?"

"It was better than the alternative."

"How? How is tossing a baby into the Void better than anything?"

She had to fight not to scream. "You wanna see? Let me show you."

She brought the first session with Duke out, let the fight and stabbing and the sounds of her son dying play through the room. Her breath was furious and she was glaring. "The stasis gives her a chance to live one day. She can't be hurt and my mother can't touch her. So hell yes the Void is better."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I said the earth is round."

They were both silent, Mara's hands in fists at her sides, her spine straight, vibrating with anger.

Finally, trying to scrape together what self-esteem she had left, Mara spoke without emotion.

"You wanted to hurt me. You wanted to embarrass me. You wanted me to feel cheap because you were pissed at me. You're not the first."

"That's not what I was trying to..."

"Oh yes it was. You wanted to teach me a lesson. You got me to say that I loved you, and then you left, looking at me like I was filth. Congratulations, Crocker. You wanted to hurt me? You did."

"That isn't what-"

"Don't you dare tell me that's not what happened!" Mara pointed at the wall again and the memory played. Loving words, a kiss, and him looking sick as he walked away.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I have that affect on a lot of people. It doesn't matter, I'm fine."

"I'm trying to apologize."

"You'll find Haven is a rather unforgiving place. I don't give a shit anyway. Unlike the rest of you, I don't lie about what I am. I know what I am." She waved her hand with a scowl, making the picture disappear from the wall.

"Where's your mother?"

"She'll be along soon, I'm sure. She'd have gotten a warning when Nathan killed the Barn."

"And she'd start over again?"

"She'll try."

Duke stared at the floor, deep in thought. "How can I help?"

Mara laughed, brushing close as she stood and walked around Duke. "Unless you want to go for round two, you can't."

"Damn it, Mara, I'm serious!"

She sat in her chair, arms crossed. "Bored now. Don't you have a business to run?"

He clenched his jaw like he was trying not to scream at her and shoved his hands through his hair. "Fuck it."

"I know, I know. I'm not worth it." Her smile was sharp and her voice held bitter laughter. Laughter, never tears.

Duke stomped up the stairs and out the door, and she heard him leave the ship.

She smiled darkly, moving quickly. She took her Aether, Garland's journal and the few outfits she possessed, sliding the container of Aether into her pocket and tying the rest in a shirt. She listened at her dungeon door, laughed when she found it locked.

As if that would stop her.

The lock melted under her hand and she pried the door open, moving quietly through the ship. She found a satchel for her things, stole a Grey Gull hat and took the cash from Duke's wallet- she had lifted it when she had brushed against him.

Grifting the grifter. Mara loved symmetry.

She left the wallet itself on his counter and carefully left the boat, checking every step before she moved.

And then Mara ran.