Chapter 14

"Option three. Revival. Quinn Fabray."

Quinn was summoned here shortly after Nishi's death and unlike any other person I'd met in the realms of Gantz she didn't seem to be totally boring. She was scared, sure, but that was only fair considering the circumstances.

She was a fast learner and I even had some fun teaching her a couple of things. Despite her girly appearance she turned out to be quite a ruthless fighter and managed to gather 56 points before her death.

Blonde hair was the first thing I saw when she arrived. It soon fell in short locks around a face I wouldn't hesitate to call pretty. Well, stunning, actually. Her yellow pinafore summer dress made me raise an eyebrow and combined with her mary-janes, she seemed unreal. She was a doll, completely out of this world. When she finally stood in the room with me it was like someone had called her just to mock me, just to remind me of what I would never be. Knowing Gantz, this wouldn't be too far off.

She stood there and if someone had switched off the lights I'm sure she would have been glowing in the dark. Her hazel eyes searched the room with something that resembled calm confidence. I later learned it had just been habit; one of many things her parents had beaten into her. It was one of those upper class tactics; something they teach their perfect little puppets. It worked, though: Much later she told me she'd been completely freaked out, but just from looking at her I would never have guessed. She seemed superior. She seemed like a leader.

"Am I not dead?" was the first thing her sugary (and yet not sweet) voice said to me.

I stood there with my mouth agape and couldn't believe my eyes or ears. Why did Gantz even bother sending me someone like her? Surely she wouldn't even touch a weapon. Her nails were polished and her skin looked soft like satin. She was definitely the rich spoiled type. Her kind didn't, well, work. She'd probably be too afraid of getting dirt on her clothes to come near any enemy. Only when she locked eyes with me for a split second was I able to make out a fierce flicker behind her façade. I smiled when I recognized this same flicker in myself. She was just a normal teenager after all. She had anger buried in her guts, just like me. The world had failed her, too.

I didn't understand her true potential until she picked up a weapon, though. Carefully she weighed the gun in her hand while looking over to a katana lying nearby, obviously considering which one would fit her best. When she found her suit she shot me a glance and eyed me up.

When I'm with Gantz I still wear my normal clothes over my suit. The suit makes me look like some kind of cosplayer and I can move just as well in my every day attire, so I hide my uniform the best I can. Quinn's eyes lingered on my boots for a few seconds and without any further comment she stripped naked and put on her suit. Picking up her dress she looked at me again and I realized I had been staring. "What?" she snapped. "It's just us, right? No need to be embarrassed." I huffed and turned my head.

Quinn just tossed her dress aside and picked up the X-rifle. Excellent choice. "How do you use these?" Strangely enough she was the only one who ever asked me that.

She was the rich type, sure, but I had to learn that she was far from being spoiled. She was clever. She was just a fucked up mess like me and violence had shaped her, too. Quinn wasn't someone you messed with.

I saw her real face in our very first battle together. She was such a bundle of frustrated energy that her suit started to work almost right away. As we were sent into battle she scanned the area like she had scanned the room before and it didn't take her longer than a few seconds to take in the absurdity of the situation. "A museum. Of course." was her only comment.

Without another word she raised her weapon and fired at one of the dinosaur sculptures, ignoring the red satin cords that were meant to keep curious hands away. To be fair, though, technically our hands never touched anything.

Quinn flinched as the sculpture's head exploded and pieces of burnt flesh were scattered all over the place. Her eyes went wide for a second when suddenly all the other thirty-five sculptures in the museum came to life. To be honest, I was shocked, too. We both started to run and I realized that my blonde teammate must have had some experience with violence, because she took a few blows before her suit reacted, and although a dinosaur's tail hit her square on her rib cage, leaving her gasping for air, she only blinked a few times before getting back up. She took revenge on the creature immediately.

It was a long fight, lots of blood and guts and blows to the head and all that stuff. Quinn was amazing, though. I particularly remember her grabbing my hand after I had slid feet first through a foursome of stegosaurus legs, firing my gun at its torso on my way. She pulled me up and I didn't even have time to comprehend what was happening before I found myself running with her at a speed that was impossible for the average human. But Quinn and I, we weren't average human beings.

I heard the body behind me explode and estimated the points in my head before realizing why we were running. "Don't slow down!" Quinn yelled. I risked a peek backwards and saw the small group of raptors following us. "You don't have to tell me twice!" I shouted back.

"These are the last ones," I stated and she understood. I pulled her towards the staircase and we ran all the way upwards to the rooftop. Despite our speed our enemies managed to come close enough to snap at our feet a couple of times. I shot two of them on my way up, which left us with just two more. Still they came too close for my liking.

Although Quinn was without a doubt stronger than I'd expected, she still lacked my experience. On the rooftop she tried to stop, thinking this would be the battle arena. Instead, I dragged her to the edge of the rooftop and I could see the fear grow in her eyes when I let our enemies close in on us.

Those raptors may have been fast, but they were also stupid. They didn't notice that we were slowing down on purpose. They didn't realize I had not led us into a dead end. They were too eager to stop when at the last second I jumped off the rooftop, pulling Quinn down with me, and twisted my body until I was facing skyward. Fortunately Quinn was a fast thinker so she quickly did the same. Our fiends dumbly jumped right after us. Suddenly finding themselves mid-air, they started flailing like the mindless animals they were, and Quinn and I used the opportunity to shoot.

Six seconds later the transport began and our bodies hit laminate instead of asphalt.

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the shocked expression on her face and when she managed to will her jaw off the floor she joined in just before starting to cry.

"I'm dead," she sobbed. "Why is this happening to me?"

She crawled over to me and buried her face in my lap.

I had no clue how to react.

I remember how my fingers started to twitch and my palms became sweaty. What would it feel like to touch her back or stroke her hair? What would happen if I gave her comfort? Did I even know how to do that? Can you pass something on that has never been given to you?

While I sat there, awkwardly holding my hands up in the air, trying not to touch anything, she just kept crying into my lap.

"Please," she begged and I finally wrapped my arms around her.

And with that, Quinn Fabray caused all my walls to crumble.

At point 15, she dyed her hair pink and changed her clothing style entirely. She wasn't the girly girl I'd gotten to know anymore. Instead I was greeted by a punk chick in ragged jeans when I materialized in Gantz' apartment.

"I figure the rules of society don't apply to me anymore anyway," she shrugged as I stared. "And I really needed a change."

I smirked and simply commented: "Fierce."

There was a silent understanding between the two of us that we'd never question each other. I respected her and she respected me. We never asked each other anything personal. I figured that whatever her intentions were, whatever past she'd left behind, if she wanted me to know about all that, she'd just tell me.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't care, though. Quinn wasn't like the others I had encountered in the realms of Gantz. I considered her a friend.

At point 34 we had been fighting together for half a year. After we had been transported back this one time she sat down on the wooden floor and shook her head: "Santana," she said without looking at me. "How do you do it?" I furrowed my eyebrows, unsure what she was talking about.

Then hazel eyes found mine. She seemed sad when she spoke again: "I didn't just die, Santana. I took my own life."

There was an awkward silence, which I used to ponder on a possible answer, but she went first: "Just half a year ago I wanted nothing more than to die. The last thing I remember is downing my mom's pill supply together with the contents of my dad's hidden cabinet. And yet here I am, fighting for my life, fighting to one day be able to go back. Why? My life was miserable. Why would I want to go back?"

Was she expecting me to answer? I shrugged and turned my head, but sat down next to her nonetheless. A part of me was angry that she had ruined the dynamic of our team. Another part just wanted to wrap my arms around her. I wanted to cry and tell her everything about me. Deep down, though, I knew our time together would end, if not soon, then someday. Eventually I'd be alone again.

"Why do you want to go back?"

Her question still rings loudly in my ears and I always fail to find an answer.

At point 56 I was almost convinced that we could make it together.

When that claw hit Quinn and reality hit me I didn't know what to think. I saw her going down and it was like all the hopes I had never let myself have came crashing down on me. All of a sudden I was forced to face the fact that I cared about her. It made me realize that despite everything I was still that teenage girl who wanted nothing more than to belong.

I had let my guard down, and after what had happened with Nishi I should have known better.

It was terrifying to see Quinn like that, bleeding heavily, panting, crying, begging. I had seen so many people die but I had never cared about anyone before. I had never felt anything but emptiness. Before Quinn, all the people who were called by Gantz had always just been faceless creatures to me. Nishi had taught me not to rely on anyone, not to trust anyone, not to bond with anyone. He had taught me what it was like to be dead inside.

But Quinn had invaded my shell by insisting on being someone. On being someone to me.

I knew my only chance of saving her was to kill the enemy, but when I turned to go, she screamed: "Please don't go!" Against my better judgement I stopped. I turned back around. I knelt down beside her.

"You won't be fast enough," she said between sobs. "We're cheating death anyway. Maybe it's time for me to let go."

I wish I would have known what to tell her. But I've never been good with emotions. I've never been good with sweet words. I only know insults.

When she took my hand I didn't withdraw it. It was the only thing I could give her and apparently it was enough. She calmed down immediately. It wouldn't be long. "Santana," she said. "Do you think this is a coincidence?" I furrowed my eyebrows, but she continued before I could say anything: "You and me meeting here. Do you think it's a coincidence?"

Of course it was. What else could it be?

She started to cough and her breathing became shallow. She only had a few seconds left.

When she opened her eyes one last time to look at me I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. I don't even know why I did it. I wasn't in love with her or anything. It wasn't a romantic moment and even though her lips were as soft as they could be there were no fireworks or violins playing. My heart didn't do the back flips it's supposed to do when you kiss someone. In fact, it was aching more than ever.

I guess I just really suck at saying good bye.

She grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me back, lips closed, eyes clenched shut and tears running down her cheeks. They mixed with mine.

Her hand was buried deeply in my hair and with each second that passed I buried our friendship more deeply into the back of my brain. Nishi had taught me not to let anyone in and it was then that I truly understood why.

It was the end of me.

When I pulled back she was already gone.