A/N: We're reaching the end, my friends. After this there's going to be an epilogue and I'll upload a little extra with a link to an awesome fan mix, some artwork, my favorite Gantz-pictures and a few parting words from me to you. Thank you for sticking by me.

I'd like to thank nolinkedlists for asking all the right questions and being such a Speedy Gonzales.

Also, if you're up for it, I've started uploading a prequel to this called Missed Opportunities.

"Enemies, there is no enemy!" shout I, the living fool.

Chapter 21

Math.

I chew on my pencil and stare out of the window.

Autumn's not far away, but the sky is blue, and the sun's shining directly onto my desk. It's like my own little bit of summer during class and it makes me smile. It's weird how a simple sunray can do that.

I keep thinking about Brittany. She's so much more than I'd ever allowed myself to hope for. She's pretty, and smart in her own way, and she's got a heart of gold. But what really amazes me is that she's so independent. She never needed her parents to tell her she's ok the way she is. She doesn't need friends to tell her that, either. She doesn't even need me, really. She's whole and perfect on her own and I have no idea where she got that kind of strength from. And I don't know why out of all people she chose to be with me.

She's sitting next to me right now, taking notes that I will have to correct later without a doubt. But I don't mind at all. Actually I enjoy our little study sessions. We'll sit down on our mattress and she'll listen to everything I tell her with rapt attention. We usually go through everything several times and I make it my own little challenge to find creative ways to explain formulas or grammar rules. It makes us both proud when she finally gets it. The thing with Britt is that she needs her time with these things, but once something has sunken in, she won't forget it again. And a lot of times it's really the way teachers try to drill everything into our heads. Even I find it hard to follow their train of thought sometimes.

Once we get out of here I'll help her graduate and open that dance studio she's been dreaming of. I'm not sure what I'll do after high school, but Quinn and Rachel are smart, and I know the four of us will find a way. It'll be tough, sure, but life is tough for everyone, right? All I know is that I'm ready to move on, find a way out of Gantz and just go somewhere else with my friends, my new family. I don't want to be a soldier anymore.

I found you.

What was that?

I look around, but everyone else keeps staring at the blackboard or at their notebooks. "Britt," I whisper. "Did you hear that?" But she looks at me in confusion.

"No. What are you talking about?"

I shake my head. "I guess it was nothing…"

Am I going crazy?

I found you.

No, that was definitely real. When I look up this time, Brittany's staring at me with wide eyes.

"I think I heard it, too," she says. No one else seems to have noticed the voice, but the teacher sees Brittany staring at me.

"You in the back row," he says, "Care to enlighten the rest of the class?"

Before I can answer, I hear something entirely different. It sounds like a whisper, or a whoosh, or some kind of rustling. I can't tell what it is, but for some reason it terrifies me.

Everyone looks at me in shock as I jump up from my seat. "Does no one hear that?" I ask the room. But the expression on their faces tells me they think I'm crazy. Everyone except Brittany, who suddenly leaps from her chair as well and runs out of the classroom.

"Britt?"

I follow right after, ignoring the teacher telling me to sit back down.

The hallway is empty and I can't see Britt anywhere. Where did she run to? Suddenly there's that noise again right behind me, louder than before and I feel a breeze tickling my neck. But when I turn around no one's there.

"Hello?"

Taking the gun into my hand I slowly walk down the hallway towards the exit. The noise returns, but this time it seems to come from somewhere outside, as if something was circling the building. It sounds like a storm now and it gets louder with each step I take.

"Britt?"

Nothing.

Hesitantly, I push open the front door a crack when a gust of wind rips it out my hand, slams it open and forces me to my knees. When I get up I see Quinn and Rachel materialize across the school yard by the little fountain they installed last year in a failed attempt to make McKinley a little more presentable.

Then Britt comes running towards me and I can see the fear in her eyes long before she crashes into my arms. "It's so bad, San," she gasps.

"Where were you?" I ask, but when I hear that noise again, I shudder and I don't even know what I'm so scared of.

"Quinn, what the hell are you doing here?" I shout over. This doesn't make sense. Why were they transported here? "Are you on a mission?"

Quinn and Rachel join us by the door. "No," Rachel says. "I don't know. I was at work until just a second ago. Gantz didn't call me!"

"Well, she must have, because I clearly saw you being transported here." This doesn't make sense at all.

Another gust of wind hits us and we duck. "What do you mean? Who's "she"?" Quinn furrows her eyebrows as if I had said something absolutely nonsensical.

"Gantz," I reply. "Who do you think I was talking about?"

The noise returns, closer than ever and when I look up I freeze. A black cloud rises from behind the building and grows until it seems to cover the entire sky and throws a threatening shadow upon all of Lima. Then in an instant it starts to twirl and moves to gather above our heads and forms a black orb.

"What on earth…"

And just as quickly it dissolves again and shoots down into our direction. I jump to push Britt out of the way as I feel the earth quake beneath me. "Is everybody alright?" I receive immediate answers from everyone.

That was close.

"What the hell is that?" Quinn gasps.

But Brittany just shakes her head with terror in her eyes. "Didn't you seen it? It's…" she gulps and shakes her head again, closing her eyes for a second. Then she slowly breathes out and her expression softens. "I think it's our last mission."

What?

A bench comes twirling through the air in our direction and misses me by an inch as I duck. It crashes into the wall behind me and splinters fly in every direction. Why hasn't Gantz called me? What is this? And why does no one inside the school seem to notice what's going on?

"It's time."

And who's talking to me?

"Shelby?" Did I just yell that?

"Santana!"

I faintly hear Brittany calling my name as my feet lose contact with the ground and my weapon is ripped from my hand.

A part of the black cloud surrounding me forms a giant hand and its fingers reach towards me. I can't move despite all my efforts to fight myself free. The fingers grab my head and snake around my body as if searching for something. When I realize what they're searching for, I start to panic and flounder, but it's to no avail. Fingers turn into sharp claws and those claws press right into the caps of my suit harder and harder until I hear something crack.

And I swear I hear Nishi laughing at me.

I'm weak.

I'm small.

The cloud around me bursts and I'm flung through the air and land on a patch of grass by the fountain. It hurts. My shoulder hurts and my hip hurts and I think I sprained my wrist.

The cloud has disappeared and I'm sitting there like a complete mess. "My suit is dead!" I cry. It's the only thing I can think of right now. "My suit is dead! Help me!"

Now I'm just a person.

What am I supposed to do?

Quinn crashes into the fountain's basin, water splashing everywhere. She coughs and gets up and tumbles and when she slowly crawls out of the water, face pale, I see blue liquid leak from the caps on her suit. "Fuck," she breathes out and when she looks at me I see something I've never seen before. She's afraid like me, but there's something else, something deeper and darker. It terrifies me and I think that maybe it's been there the whole time, covered by a curtain of dreams and illusions. Maybe my mind was protecting me and lied to me so I could fight.

"Quinn, you're…" But I can't find the words I'm searching for.

"You, too," she nods.

"Death. I've seen death," Rachel runs towards us and leaps into Quinn's arms and sobs. Her suit is broken like ours. "This isn't another enemy," she whimpers. "This is not one of Gantz' missions."

Suddenly I understand.

Dad.

I understand.

Rachel's right.

Two years ago I died. We're all dead. I thought I was fighting for survival. I made myself believe that I was a hunter when in reality I was the prey.

And now death has finally caught up.

Tears well up in my eyes as I feel darkness creeping through my veins, like a dark force was taking over my body and slowly drowning me in hopelessness. I can feel an invisible noose gradually tighten around my neck.

I learned to be weak. I learned to let my guard down. I learned my lesson and now it's time for me to go. It makes sense. I wanted to die. I don't know why I expected anything different.

It's all over.

"We're moving on, right?" I ask. "I guess it's about time."

Quinn's staring at her feet and Rachel's crying quietly.

Maybe it's better this way. If I can let go I'll never have to fight again.

And the noose tightens a little more. There are shadows crawling at my feet, pulling me down, draining my will to live. I can't even remember if anything ever meant something to me. I can't even remember my name.

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder. When I look up I see Brittany's eyes. "No," she says. "What are you saying? What's wrong with all of you? I refuse to give up. We've come this far because we're together. It's not over, yet. We can do this."

She's so sincere and I want to believe her but for some reason can't. Quinn and Rachel just turn their heads as well.

"You can't be serious," Brittany tries again. "After all we've been through you're willing to give up just like that?"

"Britt…" But my voice breaks.

"We aren't dead, yet, remember? We can fight. I refuse to wait here for my death. I didn't come here to surrender. Sure, it might seem hopeless, but, guys, we have to try. I believe in us."

"She's right," I hear Quinn say after a moment. "It's not over until it's over." She's looking at Rachel who's chewing on her lower lip. "We gave up our lives once. Let's not make the same mistake again. Let's fight until we can't anymore." As she and Brittany stand there firmly, confidently, I remember why they've made such an impression on me. I remember why I used my points to revive Quinn. And I remember why I'm so drawn to Brittany.

"We're a team," Rachel adds, wiping away her tears and taking Quinn's hand. "I died once already and even if I should die again today, I'd rather die fighting together with you." Quinn smiles softly at her girlfriend and it hits me. I can't leave them.

I wipe my eyes and pick up my gun.

"We're a team," I agree. "No matter what happens now I want you all to know that…" I swallow the lump in my throat as I feel my head clear. I shake my head, shake away what I can only call momentary insanity. "…I love you."

"Onions are enough for me."

Quinn blinks and raises an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"Onions are enough for me."

"I don't know," I answer honestly. Then I look down to see that the threat I feared just seconds ago is real. The shadows release me, creep away and take my agony right with them, freeing me of the weight I felt.

They rise in front of me and slowly turn into a figure I recognize all too well.

"Run!" I shout as I see the onion alien raise its fist to attack.

I shoot but miss and jump behind the fountain.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Nishi glares at me through cold eyes and flashes his teeth as he shoots me a sinister grin before quickly dissolving back into pure darkness.

I hear Brittany scream but all I can see before ducking behind a tree is a flock of fledglings merging into a black cloud.

And then I hear the one noise I never wanted to hear again. Squealing and honking and…

My hands shoot up to my ears and I close my eyes. Anything. I can withstand anything. Just spare me this.

It's the monster that's been haunting me for my whole new life. It's where everything started. It's the one threat I can't face; the Minotaur to my labyrinth.

"It's about time."

Quit talking to me!

Get out of my head!

And then I see it. It's larger than life; it's death but worse; it's the end of everything, the nothingness that stole my mind so long ago.

I'm still leaning against the tree. My cheeks are wet and my fists are shaking. I'm slow and weak and just a person. And then I realize, I truly realize, that it's about time, just like she said.

A bright light hits and blinds me. The monster opens its gigantic jaws to swallow me whole, hair and bones. I raise my arm to cover my eyes, but it's no use. The light is getting brighter and when I dare to take a glimpse I see it's streaming from the monster's throat.

Its outlines are blurry; it's not more than a vague image of a huge shadow and teeth that are about to bite me and claws reaching out for me.

"Santana!" I hear Quinn's voice. "What do you see?"

I can't explain.

"Do you know what I'm seeing?" When I look at her she's actually smiling. Has everyone lost it? "It's my dad," she says. And then after a pause: "I think I figured it out. We've got to fight, but not like this, not the way we used to. You have to make a choice."

I shake my head and clench my eyes shut. "I can't."

"It's time, Santana. Only you can stop this." There's a slight panic in her voice and I don't understand why. The light's burning my face now and I can smell the beast's breath. This is it. This is everything. This is the end.

"Don't give up now!" I hear Rachel. "We're all seeing it. You know what to do!"

Then for a moment it's quiet and Brittany is standing right beside me. She takes my hand and helps me up.

"What's going on? What am I supposed to do?" I ask her, but she just smiles.

"We're here for a reason and you know it. You told me the other day. You might not believe in fate, but I know that fate believes in you. I believe in you. Don't you think we've been fighting long enough? It's time to go home. This was always meant to be our last mission. And now you're finally strong enough."

"Britt. What…?" But deep down I know exactly what she's talking about. Tears are pressuring against my eyes now. "I'm not ready, yet."

"How long do you want to continue this?" Quinn pleads. She has Rachel tugged to her side. They're looking at me with calm, sad eyes.

How long I want to continue?

Forever.

Not at all.

"I don't know," I shake my head.

Quinn pulls me into a hug and I feel Brittany stroke my hair as Rachel takes my hand.

"We've been fighting aliens; you've been fighting aliens for two years now," Quinn whispers into my hair. "You're my best friend." I sob and she continues: "It's time to stop fighting aliens and start fighting demons."

The monster roars again and my stomach tightens at the prospect of losing everything. I know my friends are right. "I need to kill it!" I tell Quinn, who never lets go off me. "I have to reach a hundred points so we can leave together." It's a last-ditch attempt, nothing more.

But the others seem calm. They're not even looking at our enemy. Brittany reaches out and touches the gun in my hand. "You can fight," she says, "Or you can go home."

They look at each other as Quinn adds: "We're going home. It's about time."

And then they're gone.

"Guys?" I scream. They can't leave me now! Not now! "What about the alien? What about me?"

Deep down, though, I've always known what I have to do. I know they're right. I know it, but I'm so afraid.

How many people have to save you until you start saving yourself?

Oh, Quinn.

We're a team.

You're right, 'Cakes.

We aren't dead, yet, remember? We can fight. I refuse to wait here for my death. I didn't come here to surrender. Sure, it might seem hopeless, but, guys, we have to try. I believe in us.

Britt, if you believe then I can, too. I won't surrender. Let's do this.

Once again I look up into the brightness hitting me. I'm not about to be defeated, not by an alien, not by Gantz and definitely not by myself. This is my story and it's not over, yet.

What's a name good for if you're remembered as someone who gave up? What's a name good for if you disappoint the only ones who know it? What would I need a name for if I don't even know how to be?

I holster my weapon.

I am Santana Lopez.

And suddenly there's darkness.

When I open my eyes I immediately recognize where I am. It's the basement, my basement; it's the place of my death, where I thought I'd end it all and where it all started. The wooden floor reflects the lamp light nicely and makes the place actually seem warm. Everything is exactly how I left it: There's my desk in the corner; the laptop is still switched on. And there's my bed; I never made it. There's the chair I accidentally kicked over when I slipped. And from the ceiling hangs… oh…right.

"So you've come back?" I hear a voice behind me. When I turn around there's the one person I expected to meet here. It's Shelby. She's standing there in a long dress made of dark blue satin and wearing a soft smile on her face. She knew it all along. She knew I'd come back.

I nod.

"Have you made a decision?"

I don't know.

"Everyone's always telling me that I have to make a choice, that only I can make it all stop. I've been fighting my whole life and that never even stopped after my death. I struggled so hard just to keep going every day. And no one ever cared. Even when dad died no one cared. When I came out to myself no one was there to help me. Hell, there wasn't even anyone else to come out to. Everything I know, everything I am I had to teach myself. Why do I always have to be the strong one? Why is it always on me?"

But Shelby only counters: "Everyone's the strong one here. But this is only your life, Santana."

Sure. It was my life until I gave it up. What about what happened after that?

"So was this all a dream?"

She shakes her head. "No."

"Is this purgatory?"

She laughs lightly. "No. This is Gantz."

"Am I dead?"

She raises an eyebrow. "Do you want to be dead?"

I think back to what I left behind and there's nothing, just emptiness. What if I'm alone again? I won't be able to make it by myself. I failed once; what if I fail again? What if I'm just going to be this massive failure?

"I don't know if I want to live."

She kisses my forehead the way only a mother would do.

"That's exactly what you said two years ago. Aren't you tired of running, yet? I've given you everything you ever wanted and it's still not enough? You've always been so scared of life and yet you're still here."

I look down at the floor. I still have so many questions, so many doubts. Two years ago Shelby asked me if I wanted to live or die. It was my answer that brought me to Gantz.

"Then fight until you can't anymore," she said. "Fight until you realize you don't have to. Fight until you find beauty within yourself so you can see the beauty around you. Fight for your answer."

But I don't want to fight anymore. "I'm so tired," I tell her.

She sighs. "I gave you Nishi to make you strong. I gave you Quinn to believe in you. I gave you Rachel to teach you compassion. And I gave you Brittany so you could love. I have nothing else to give you." She smiles. "Close your eyes. You have to make a choice."

My eyes drift shut and images of Brittany and Rachel and Quinn come flashing behind my eyelids. Will they be there if I choose life? Or are they dead? But Shelby's voice interrupts my thoughts:

"I gave you to them as well."

"Are they alive?" My real question, of course, is if I will see them again.

"This isn't about them, Santana. Your choice is only about you." She smiles again and looks up to the ceiling. "You said it yourself, remember? Your death was only for you. You were right about that; if you want to be dead you have to be dead on your own and if you want to be alive you can't live for anyone else. So, do you want to be dead or alive?"

I don't know. There's so much doubt, so many questions, so much to fear.

I look up. "Who are you? God?"

Shelby takes a step forward, folding her hands in front of her and looking me directly in the eyes, never dropping her warm smile. "Don't be stupid, Santana. I make wishes come true. I'm sorry if you misinterpreted what happened."

She cups my cheeks.

"You have to choose. This is your last chance. Fight for your answer. Believe in yourself."

But I'm scared.

I can't breathe. I don't understand why, but I can't breathe. I can't even think. I panic and my hands shoot up. They find the rope around my neck as it tightens, painfully cutting into flesh. My legs are helplessly flailing and my feet won't find the ground. My eyes tear up and I don't understand why. I want to see what's happening, but my vision blurs.

I hear someone gargle and whimper and the sounds echo painfully in my head until I finally realize that they're coming from my own throat. My fingers scratch desperately at the rough material around my neck and I feel my head begin to swell.

Dad.

I heard your call.

My toes bump against wood, but when I try to stand my feet slip and lose contact as I hear a loud thud.

It's time.

It's now or never.

I close my eyes and let fate choose me.

New York's crowded, day and night. The city that never sleeps won't let me rest until I reach my destination so I head for the place that's been haunting me since the day my dad died.

He didn't have to take the subway. He could have taken a cab, but….

Yeah.

He never planned on arriving anywhere. This station was his final stop and it's time that I accepted that.

It's time to make my peace.

The tiles beneath my feet are sticky and the whole place smells like urine and sweat and food. Someone bumps into me and doesn't even look up to apologize. He just flips open his cell phone and hurries on.

I bury my hands in my pockets and try to block the noise out. I don't know how I'll be able to face it, but I know that I have to see it. This is the place. This is the time.

My feet meet the yellow line that marks the edge of the platform. All I have to do now is to look up. My head feels heavy, though and I close my eyes as I feel a single tear drop from my face. It splashes loudly onto the floor, right on the other side of the line.

I lift my head and open my eyes.

This is the place.

I take another step forward and look at the tracks as the people around me disappear. Suddenly the station is deserted. It's just me and the past.

Dad?

Then I hear it: an incoming train. It's the monster made from shadow and doubt, the beast lurking in the darkness like a constant yet invisible threat, the lump in my stomach, the fear making me hesitate; it's the unspeakable that exists despite all my attempts to will it away.

Dad?

I clench my fists and jump onto the tracks. I can already see the headlights of the train through the tunnel and I start to run. I can easily outrun it. I can run for miles. I can run forever.

But haven't I been running for long enough now?

I stop and slowly turn around.

Quinn.

Rachel.

Brittany.

I'll face my nightmares.

I'll fight for you.

But most of all, I'll fight for myself.

I don't have my suit and I don't have my weapon. Stripped of all equipment I'm only me and I can only hope that it'll be enough.

The lights blind me and I squint and lift my arm to protect my eyes. I hear the blood pounding in my ears and my heart almost breaks out of my chest. The demon's jaw gapes open to swallow me alive. Its claws are sharp and ready to rip my flesh to pieces.

And I'm scared.

The rattling and squealing and buzzing of what's about to hit me is deafening.

And I'm so scared.

Dad, I heard you.

I heard you loud and clear. But I can't follow in your footsteps anymore.

Because I've finally figured out what I'm so scared of.

I'm scared, because…

…I don't want to die.

Please!

Dad.

Goodbye.

The beam I'm hanging from cracks and I fall. I hit the ground with a dull thud, but it doesn't really hurt. Finally my hands manage to loosen the rope and it's only then that the pain sets in. Fiery rings flash in front of my eyes and they burn my brain and my throat and my skin and my hands. My fingertips are numb and my legs feel weak. I can't even cough, because it hurts too much. So I just lie there, closing my eyes, waiting.

I'm alive.

I cry.

And I cry.

And I cry.

I'm still in the same basement where I found Shelby, the same basement where I died.

Except that I didn't.

The tears slowly dry on my cheeks and my throat is still sore, but I manage to lift myself up shakily. It feels like I've never used my legs before. I take a few tiny steps and almost fall again and if it didn't hurt so much I'd be laughing at my poor attempt at walking. The floor is hard and unforgiving beneath my feet; my soles burn at the contact. I don't know why I'm not wearing shoes. I don't even care. It's nice to feel something, anything at all.

When I tumble yet again and my knee bumps into the ground I give up on walking and giggle hoarsely before starting to cough.

For now, these first few steps will be enough.