Kate…

I had no idea how Dean managed to get Sam riding with Dad, but he did, and that was all that mattered. It wasn't that I didn't want to be with Sam, it's just that I didn't want to be grilled or analyzed or looked at with his soul searching eyes.

I was afraid I'd punch him.

The focus shouldn't have been on me - it was about Adam. Adam, who was fucking gone again, taken from right fucking under my nose. I should never have let him out of my sight.

...Hey, Kate? Thanks for visiting Dean Winchester's sense of over-inflated sibling responsibility.

Sigh.

Staring out the window, I watched the boring scenery blur past, acutely aware of my older brother's anxiety over my silence and distance. Sometimes, it was so hard to remember that Dean was Dean, no matter what or when or where.

I snuck a peek at him, taking in the stubble, the jawline. The way his nose wrinkled when it itched, the way he pulled on his lower lip when troubled. The way his eyes…

His eyes.

His eyes, that didn't reflect a massive load of self-loathing, the way his eyes did.

I never wanted to see that depth of pain on this face.

I slid across the seat, burrowing under Dean's jacket. When his arm wrapped around me, my mind cleared, and I actually slept, for the first time in days.

xxxxx

On the bright side? I had a great nap.

On the downside? A headache sprouted behind my eyes, and got steadily worse the closer we got. The stress was apparently taking its toll.

We finally parked and got out the weapons. I could tell Dad was two seconds away from benching me by the way he asked how I was doing. Jesus, how did he think I was doing? And when were they gonna stop asking me that?

Stabbing that shifter before breakfast probably didn't help my case.

I rolled my eyes, unfairly leaving Dean to deal with his overbearing ass. My head hurt, I was crazy worried, and the last thing I needed was Dad hovering, waiting for me to snap.

Again.

The angel blade pressed against my back, offering more reassurance than anything, as I stomped (yes, I actually stomped) away from Dad, away from Bobby, away from Sam.

Feeling liberated (even though they were, what, thirty feet away?), I realized I hadn't really been off our property since my return. Couldn't hide forever.

"Well, hello, Kate. It's been...a while."

...Or maybe I could.

Slowly, I turned around, sucking in a breath as an older version of Sam casually approached. His hands were in the pockets of a blazer, and he shuffled his feet in the...sand? My eyes darted left and right, and I almost pissed my pants.

I wasn't in the park anymore. Barren wasteland, skeletons littered here and there, black and gray swirling clouds in the sky, creepy corpse-like bodies groaning and crawling aimlessly.

Fuck…Fuckfuckfuck!

"Sam" stepped closer. "Can you place me, yet?"

I stepped backwards, fear and panic setting in. Of course, I placed him. You don't forget Lucifer.

Ever.

But I did, apparently, forget how to talk. He misunderstood my silence for amnesia.

"Hm. Let's see if this helps."

Sharp, piercing pain exploded across my cheek, whipping me around until I stumbled against a tree, gasping. Holy mother of God, that fucking hurt.

This was not happening. It could not be happening.

The sound of blades whistling through the air hit my ears barely a second before my shoulder split open.

Again.

Fuck! Seriously - FUCK! We were just supposed to go to a park, Goddammit!

It didn't hurt this much the first time around, probably because the injury induced pain competed with the Trials' pain, dulling the impact. I definitely preferred the dulled version, which, while still incredibly painful, sure as fuck wasn't this bad.

Trembling, I spun around to face him, leaning against the tree for support, trying to catch my breath and prevent any whimpering whatsoever. Without that tree, I would've fallen to the ground. Although, honestly, I was slowly sliding down the trunk, my legs suddenly unable to support my weight. I did my best to keep my sliced shoulder off the bark as I moved.

Sitting was fine. Right? Sure. It was fiiiine.

When my ass hit the ground, A few tears trickled down my face, mingling with the blood. He stood in front of me, making my insides curdle. I screamed for Cas at the top of my mental lungs. He would've told me if the Cage was opened, right? I mean, we tried, and it didn't work, so...what the fuck was going on?

"I think you remember now."

No shit. "How…?" There's my voice.

Lucifer smiled, looking around, shrugging apologetically. "Well, I'm not really here. I mean, it's not really me. So if your next question is whether this is all in your mind, the answer is...sort of."

That cleared up nothing.

He chuckled. "I know - that didn't clear up anything. Let's just say that this whole adventure of yours is a great story, one that I don't think your family truly appreciates. You voluntarily went to Hell. You stole something from Lucifer. That deserves some recognition, don't you think? And I'm pretty sure you aren't getting it."

What the…

"Kate. I'm here to symbolize your experiences. I'm here to help you." He smiled this condescending smile that was almost a smirk, then he crouched in front of me, prompting an involuntary scoot backward, which was silly because I had nowhere to go.

"I'm giving you an opportunity. Show them your story, Kate, and you'll find your brother."

Next thing I knew, Lucifer was gone, Dean slid to my side in the sand, calling my name, cradling my torn cheek, and I felt before I saw the angel standing off to the side.

I pushed Dean off and scrambled to my feet, hissing as the shoulder wound pulled, a fresh spurt of blood running down my back. "What the fuck was that, Cas? You said...I thought...it wasn't him, was it? He said it was all in my mind, so what does that mean?" Cas just stood there, head tilted as if listening to something only he could hear.

I hated that look. It meant I wasn't going to get a straight answer.

"Cas! Tell me it wasn't really him!" Desperation clutched my heart, and I just needed a confirmation.

"Who? Who wasn't really who?" Dean asked, slapping my hand as I slapped his hand. "Knock it off! What the fuck happened? Jesus, your face...your shoulder...Goddammit, I need the med kit."

I caught both of Dean's hands in mine, forcing him to look at me. "Fuck the med kit, Dean. Stop fussing and just give me a fucking minute. Please!" His eyebrows shot up, but he stopped at my tone, nodding curtly, clearly unhappy.

I turned back to Cas, who stepped closer, eyes darting everywhere. "Well?" I demanded. Something soft wrapped around my shoulder, almost like a fuzzy blanket. Immediately, I felt calmer, as the angel's presence enveloped me.

"We're not in Hell."

"Hell?!" Dean blurted.

"It sure as fuck looks like it," I snapped, taking a couple steps away from his wing, twirling around. "The only other stop I made here was before you tried to rescue me. It looked exactly like this."

Blue eyes bored into mine. "It looks like a version of some of Hell, yes. But feel it. It's not real."

Chest heaving, I clenched my fists. "Feel around you, Kate."

How the fuck do you do that - Ohhhhhh...

I twirled around. He was right. It just felt...off, not like the other times. It looked right, so maybe...maybe that's why I reacted with fear.

Blood dripped off my cheek, onto my shirt, the sting from the wound sharp and throbbing.

Okay...or that's why I reacted with fear. Shit.

Dean stepped between us. "Okay. I'm done being the bystander in this conversation. Someone start talking, to me, and explain what the fuck is going on! Where are we, what was Sam doing, and how are you sliced up when you were out of my sight for a whole two minutes?"

Jesus, he looked about to explode.

Swallowing, I pulled at my chin, wincing when my fingers slid on the blood, brushing the gashes. "I was walking, the landscape changed out of nowhere, and...it does look like that one Hell. And that Sam...that was...um…" Dean's eyebrows rose expectantly.

"The image we just witnessed was supposed to be Lucifer, with Sam as his vessel." Cas reached out, gingerly touching my cheek. "I am unclear how an image could do actual physical damage, although I suspect the damage may not be real, either." The fact that Cas used his Encyclopedia Britannica voice made that whole line sound so much worse.

Dean was speechless. He stared at Cas. Then at me. Then back at Cas. Finally, he asked, "You're telling me we're in a pretend Hell...and that was a pretend Lucifer pretending to wear my brother?"

Frowning, Cas and I exchanged a look. It sounded a lot more fucked up the way Dean said it. Even though it was...already really fucked up. Dean continued. "And...he pretend resliced open your face and shoulder?"

Again, more fucked up when he said it.

Cas pinched his lips together, facing me. His fingertips ghosted my temple, his eyes narrowing slightly. I felt nothing.

Crap.

"What is this, Cas? I never told anyone about this jump. Not even you."

Castiel's eyes met mine. "Perhaps someone or something has access to your memories, and used that knowledge to stage this environment."

Oh, Christ.

"I'm sorry - Lucifer, Hell, and now mindreaders? Call the others. We need to find Adam, then get the fuck out of here. Now." Dean's eyes glinted in the dim light. He pointed a finger at me. "And fake ripped flesh or not, you're bleeding like crazy, and it's hurting. We need that med kit, unless Cas can...you know..." He wiggled his fingers in the air, signalling the angel's magic ability, like this was a trick appearing after some broad got sawed in half.

Cas searched my face a moment, before sighing. "It appears there is something blocking my powers. However, the grace inside you is keeping the wound from getting worse." That last part was sent to me privately.

"Fantastic," I grumbled, resisting the urge to touch my cheek, wipe the blood, something.

"What's fantastic?" Dean asked, eyes narrowed.

"Nothing. We need to - "

"You need to explain why the hell you two are standing there yelling at each other when we're supposed to be looking for Adam!"

This just kept getting better and better. Slowly, we turned to find Dad, looking like he caught us setting a vampire free. His arms were folded across his chest, shotgun slung over his shoulder, looking exactly like the hunter monsters trembled over.

My little girl side screamed to run into his arms. My grown-up side pulled up her big girl pants, wanting to protect them.

"Why don't you want their help?" Cas asked.

"I don't want them seeing any of this, Cas. They don't deserve to see it."

"And you don't deserve their support? Adam doesn't?"

Low blow, asshole. "That's not the point."

"Hey! Quit talking to each other like I'm not even here!" Dean snapped.

"Who's she talkin' to?" Bobby asked, casually shifting his grip on a rifle.

"It's Cas! Can't you - " Dean stopped when it became clear they couldn't see him. Eyes heavenward, Dean sighed. "Cas…?"

Cas took a step away from me (smart move), and even though they were warned that Cas was right there, they still jumped when he came into view.

Dad swallowed, taking a slow, measured breath. Dean and I winced - we knew that look. Sensing an eruption, Sam shouldered past him, holding, holy shit! the backpack I used when I rescued Adam the first time.

"Kate?" Sam asked tentatively, shooting Dad a Let Me Handle This look, earning an eyeroll and a flourishy hand gesture in return. "We, uh, found this backpack. We thought maybe it belonged to one of Adam's friends, but when we looked inside…"

I swallowed, briefly closing my eyes before smiling ruefully at Sam. "Herbs, ancient coins, a couple bandanas, a knife just like the one we found in Adam's mom's house..."

Sam frowned just for a second. "And a cell phone...with mine and Dean's names in it, but…"

"Not your numbers." I whispered. Clearing my throat, I held out my hand for the bag. "This is the bag I took to the Cage." I peeked inside. Everything was there, just as I remembered. Tears prickled my eyes, as the memories flooded my mind, and not just of the Trial.

"You will need their help. If nothing else, they will ground you."

I drew a shuddering breath, drinking in one last sight of Dean's face. Not innocent, but more innocent. Nodding, I wiped a shaking hand over my mouth. "Go ahead."

"Go ahead, what?" Dad demanded.

Dean softly filled them in, while I stared at the contents of the backpack. Turning it over, I noticed something interesting. "Cas - with all this attention to detail, the banishing sigil is missing."

Cas frowned even more (I didn't see how that was possible). "Interesting," was all he said, although I sensed a touch of relief.

"Okay, Cas. Um...do your...magic thing…" Dean waved his hands around, "and make them see where we are."

Cas blinked, Bobby yelped, Sam flinched, and Dad...Dad squinted, turning slow circles, taking it all in.

"So...where is Jesus, Kate!" Oh yes, with the sight came the blood.

The pain retreated into a dull throb, tingling when cool air touched the gashes as I moved. "It's fine," I insisted, pushing away probing hands, more focused on the artifacts from my other home. I ran my thumb along the cell phone, reciting their phone numbers in my head for the first time in weeks.

Dad shrugged out of his backpack, pulling out the travel med kit. He nodded at Bobby, who set down his weapon and began cleaning my face, pointedly ignoring my feeble attempts to be left alone.

Because that was never an option in this family.

"What exactly did this hallucination say to you, Kate?" Dad asked.

Dean came to my defense immediately. "It wasn't a hallucination, Dad. Cas and I saw him, too."

I flashed a grateful smile at my brother before answering. "He said this was a great story to tell, and that...that you guys don't appreciate it." Dad grunted. "So I'm guessing that whoever is behind this, wants me to relive the Trial, with you all as an audience."

Carefully reaching up, I felt the butterfly bandages Bobby slapped on to hold my face together. "Thanks, Bobby," I murmured, as he started working on my shoulder.

Bobby waved a hand at me. "No thanks, Missy. Let's just find our boy."

Sam crouched next to me. "What are all these things for?" he asked, gesturing at the bag.

I glanced up at Cas before answering. "Well. The coins were for the ride back down the River Styx. I got caught smuggling Adam's soul on the boat, so I needed money to pay Charon for his fare. The herbs are for Adam's location spell, and the knife...the knife kills demons, right? So...that's a no brainer."

Bobby finished, pressing a kiss to my forehead, before creaking to his feet.

Dad scrubbed a hand down his face. "Alright. So this fucker wants you to relive the worst nightmare of your life because he thinks we need to be more impressed." Helloooo, SarcasticJohn! "If that's the case, then you probably need to redo everything, fake or not."

Fuck.

Cas placed a hand on my shoulder. "You will have to go through the motions of getting into the Cage first," he murmured, knowing very well how I felt about casting that fucking spell.

I handed Dean the backpack, because there was no way I could put it on my shoulder. "Well, no rings means no Cage, right? Just fake Cage?"

Cas blinked. "Yes." To me, he added, "I'll be right here, at your side." He drew his blade, patiently waiting.

I glanced at my family, my family that I vowed would never set foot in Hell, real or otherwise, and here I was, driving the fucking tour bus.

Sighing sourly, I thrust my hands in my hair. "Fine. This...this isn't the Hell from the Trials. In fact, I docked at an Underworld hub, had to get into Hell, and then the Cage." I glanced at Cas. "Think I need to be in the right Hell first, or…?"

Everyone was following my logic, nodding along. Cas just raised an eyebrow. "You're stalling."

Rolling my eyes, I threw my hands in the air. "Fine!" Ignoring the puzzled looks, I took a couple steps, pulled my angel blade (Dad had the demon knife), and made sure Cas was next to me. Three deep breaths later, I spoke the spell. "Bvtmon Tabges Babalon".

Dad stepped up, eyes darting everywhere. It took a couple seconds, but the air finally did that shimmery dance I remembered too well. Glancing over my shoulder, I took a deep breath, then stepped through.

xxxxx

Once everyone was in, I spoke the counter spell and closed the portal.

It was the same cold, creepy mansion, but at the same time, it wasn't. Generally speaking, it looked identical, but some of the details were fuzzy in my memory, and those details were lacking here, too.

See? I told myself. More proof that this was a fake Cage.

It would've helped if it had different wallpaper, though.

The guys were uncharacteristically quiet, drinking it all in. Dean finally broke the silence. "A house? Lucifer's prison is a house?"

Cas answered for me. "The Cage is just a space. For Kate's visit, this is how it manifested itself."

"So, what, she had a customized tour?" Sam asked, his voice squeaking a little at the end.

"In a manner of speaking."

"If we're in Hell, why the fuck is it so cold?" Dean grumbled, rubbing his arms.

Bobby took this one. "Hell being all fire and brimstone is part of the mythos, Dean. The cold actually suits this place more, I think." His breath puffed in front of his face as he spoke. "Was it this cold when you were here?" he asked softly.

"Colder," I whispered, shivering from more than the cold. I didn't like this one bit.

"Now what, Kate?" Dad asked. He was all business now, pushing aside his Dad-hat in favor of his hunter-hat, but I could see how upset he was. I had a feeling there'd be a debriefing later.

"Location spell. I, uh, need to cast one that'll lock onto Adam and bring me to him."

Nodding at the backpack in Dean's hands, Dad said, "Everything you need in there?"

I nodded back, wiping my hands on my jeans and reaching for the bag. Dean handed it over just as something occurred to me. "Cas? The spell is to find my brother. But I have two of them right here. Won't it - "

"It's not real, Kate. Remember that. You're just going through the motions."

I blinked, feeling everyone's eyes on me as my cheeks grew uncomfortably warm, and not from leaking blood. "Right. It's fake. Got it. Sorry."

Kneeling down, I took out the myrrh and holy water, my hands shaking as much as they did the first time. I wasn't really in Hell, but that boon was balanced by being the object of intense scrutiny that vacillated between concern, sympathy, wonder, and anger.

Hooray...

I motioned at Dad for the demon knife. Curious and skeptical, Dad handed it over, and I heard a collective hiss when I sliced open my arm, right over the original scar. "Need the blood," was all I said, shrugging at everyone's shocked expressions, and proceeding to dab at it with Dean's old bandana. I almost paused to smell it, just to see if it smelled like him, but I was sure the crazy looks would be off the charts if I did.

"Dorepaha Dluga Siasch", I muttered, and yes, the familiar tugging on my chest began.

Castiel tilted his head, murmuring, "Huh…"

I smiled apologetically. "My Enochian isn't that good."

"I can teach you."

And cue more blushing.

After wiping the knife on my pants, I handed it back to Dad, pointing at the steps. "Gotta go down."

I caught Dean's snicker at the innuendo, followed immediately by the subsequent smack from Sam. The familiarity helped settle the butterflies. I could do this. I got him once, I would get him again, especially since this wasn't real.

I projected to Cas, "No I told you so speeches."

Cas merely shrugged, gesturing for me to lead the way.