Sorry for those of you who tried to read the chapter I uploaded. It was pointed out to me that I accidentally uploaded the version I have going on Wattpad. It had all the wrong names but I fixed it. Hope you'll forgive me. :)
Ally stared in her father's harsh eyes. They were red with lack of sleep and she could smell rum on his breathe. His hand was poised, ready to strike her left cheek at any moment. She knew he wouldn't, though. He was too much of a coward.
She silently urged him to hit her. Mark her. Bruise her. Something she could take to the authorities. She urged his hand to make the motion it never had before.
Instead his had fell to his side harshly, and he motioned with his head towards her room. "Get the hell out of my face."
"Coward." She whispered it almost silently as she walked by him, that she didn't think there was any way he could have possibly heard her.
She had made it to the door when she heard him heave a sigh. "I do love you Ally. You just need to change some things. You aren't the person I raised you to be."
"You have a real shitty way of showing it, then."
She stomped off to her room like the child she was. She slammed the door as hard as she could, knowing that it would rattle the whole house. She looked around her room for something to throw and break. She saw her mirror with all the markings. It was too large to throw.
Still, as it shattered after the impact from her foot, she was immensely satisfied. The shards of glass stuck out of the brownish blue carpet on her floor, but she left them there. She sat down on her bed and tapped a large shard with her toe.
She leaned down and grabbed the piece and studied it. It has about the size of her palm. She knew what she was tempted to do, but when she glanced at her arms, she shook her head and grabbed her journal from her nightstand drawer. Opening to a new page, she set the shard in it and closed the book.
She was acting like a child and she knew it. "Best to keep your chin up." She told herself.
Her door flew open. Her father's face flashed when he saw the broken glass on the floor. "Don't do something stupid. Suck it up."
Right? But Daddy. I'm sad.
"Smile sometime. I paid a lot of money for it."
Suck it up.
"Kids have it much worse than you. They are starving, not being educated, and without any love. You have lots of love."
Suck it up.
"It's just you. It's all in your head at this point. Not everybody hates you. Get over it."
Suck it up. It's all in your head.
"You're a little lying bitch anyway, why would I believe anything you say. I don't think you are in any pain. You want attention."
Suck it up. It's all in your head.
"Other kids are involved after school. Sports. Student council. There are options. And you can't even get your homework done."
I'm useless.
"Be thankful for all you have."
I am.
"I wish I could have given you more."
No. I am happy. You are right. I'm sorry.
"Suck it up, Ally. Why can't you do this one thing for me? I don't ask much. I give and I give. You don't do anything I ask. Just do this one thing for me."
He slammed the door, rattling the house, and she listened as his feet stomped out of the house. She glanced at the glass again, shaking her head at her stupidity.
Freaking bipolar asshole. She sat on the floor, letting the little pieces of glass scratch and stab at her legs, and studied the broken shards of her insecurities. Each piece was marked by sharpie.
(Line Break)
Ally hated weekends because it meant she had to be in the same building as her parents for over twelve hours at a time. Her weekends usually consisted of reading and homework, and when she was feeling really sad, practicing on her violin.
But this weekend was turning out different and it was only four pm on Friday. It changed when Austin pulled up in her jeep, and came bounding up the steps to the front door, informing her that she was going to a party under the orders of her brother. He pushed his way into her house and she shut the door after him, slowly trailing behind as he made his way to her room, the only place in the house he had never been allowed to see. But he pushed her door open, not hesitating to throw his weight into it to open it, making her wonder why he knew to do that.
"What exactly are you doing?"
He walked through her room, stepping through her mess, her internally dying as she realized there were a few bras on the floor, and went to her closet.
"I told you. We are going to a party."
He started sifting through her clothes, looking for something. "Where is it?" he whispered under his breathe.
"I never agreed to go."
"Yes, but would you ever disappoint your brother by choice?" He stopped his search to look at her with a raised eyebrow.
Rolling her eyes, she walked over to him. "What do you have in mind?"
He stole a side glance at her and sighed, "Do you remember the dress you wore last year to prom?"
She tried to think about prom, but she had done her best to block out that night. She had worn a blue dress that washed her out and hugged her in all the wrong places and was ugly to begin with. It had ended poorly with her covered in vomit. "I think I got rid of it."
"You what?" He sounded offended.
She shrugged. "I didn't like it very much and it forever would have smelled of vomit."
He narrowed his eyes at her clothes and she ignored him and went to sit on her bed. She picked up her book and continued to read. She leaned against her wall and watched over the top of her book as he went through ever dress he found, contemplating, then moving on to the next.
"You know, you aren't actually allowed to be in my room."
He continued, currently holding an awful black dress that she never had courage to wear. "Yeah, but it's not like anything is going to happen. Why does it matter?"
"I don't know. If my dad gets home, he won't be happy."
"Sucks to your father."
She laughed lightly and returned her attention to her book, trying not to stress about the fact that he could see all of her sizing by just looking at the tag.
"You literally don't have shit."
She nodded along with him and continued reading. "These dresses are all awful."
"Thanks, I try."
He tossed one at her that she didn't even remember buying or seeing ever. "Go try this on."
It looked like a prom dress and she stopped. "What kind of party is this?"
He beamed like only he could. "You'll see."
(Line Break)
She stood in her bathroom and looked at her reflection. It was another blue dress, painfully similar to last prom's dress. Except this one didn't look like it had been purchased at Goodwill. She smiled, spinning a bit, and for a minute, she let herself think she was beautiful. It flowed down to her knees, reminding her of how she used to imagine fairy dressed.
"You almost done, I'm growing old out here." She heard Austin's voice from the living room.
"Coming." She stepped out of the bathroom, still admiring the skirt. "Where did you find this? I don't remember ever buying it." She bounced and twisted in place a little bit to see the skirt move.
When he didn't respond, she looked up to see him with his phone up and a big grin on his face. She heard the click of the camera and he started typing something. She walked over to him, and tried to see the picture and what he was doing, but he clicked it off before she could see.
"So?" She asked, gesturing at her dress.
He shrugged, "I guess you look okay."
She rolled her eyes, because for once, she knew that even he thought she looked pretty.
(Line break)
He ran into his house while she waited in her car. She played with the radio, remembering how she used to imagine this being hers.
He came out in a plaid button up and kakis that she wasn't going to question. He got in the car and checked all of the mirrors about seven times and she silently giggled at how careful he was being with this car.
"So, how did you guys transfer the insurance on this car?"
He smiled as he pulled out of his road and onto the highway, heading for the towns north of them. "We didn't. He is paying his cheaper rate on the jeep and I pay him. WE are counting on me NOT being in a wreck."
She rubbed her temple. "You guys are idiots."
"But you love us anyway."
She stayed silent, not denying or confirming his silly little poke at her. "So, where are we going?"
"I said you would see. Be patient. Patience is a virtue."
"Alright, Mr. Jane Austen."
(Line Break)
Forty minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of a place she knew well. Chubbs' steak house. It was Dustin's favorite place.
"Is Dustin there? Is that why we are here?" She was near giddy. They hadn't been able to spend any time together because he was always with their parents or Austin, and as much as it irked her that he obviously invited Austin along, if this meant they got to spend some time together, she was okay with anything.
"I told you it would be fun."
"I don't think you ever said that, actually."
She didn't wait for him to get out of the car as she swung out and walked quickly or the building. He had convinced her to wear the same shoes that she had slipped in the day he helped her home. And her hair was pinned up on one side so that it wasn't in her face, all the while feeling horribly overdressed. She started to slip again, having not learned her lesson from the last time she had worn these shoes. Low and behold, he was there to catch her, but this time he didn't struggle to get her up on her feet.
"Told you that you wanted attention."
"I'm going to choose to ignore that comment."
They walked in, her arm linked around his, and made their way through the restaurant to where Dustin and another man were sitting laughing.
"So why did you make me dress up like this. Everyone else is so casual," commenting on Dustin's casual clothing. She felt like she was playing dress up.
They were almost at the table when he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Because I love that color on you."
She ignored him and the butterflies in her stomach knowing that he was picking on her. After all these years, he still loved to make her feel like crap.
"Hey Dustin!" She sat down next to Austin and his hand immediately rested on her leg as if it was something he did every day. She ignored it, liking the closeness.
"Hey guys, this is my roommate. Eric, this is my sister Ally and my best friend Austin."
She waved at the tall man. He had dark features and intimidated her. Austin didn't seem to like him very much, because he just nodded curtly at him. "Nice to meet you."
He tilted his head in a way that reminded her of Austin. "Likewise. Dustin talks of nothing but you two."
"Oh, really? Well we've never heard about you," Austin let out with a bite in his tone that could pierce skin. "Funny how that works out, huh?"
Dustin furrowed his eye brown and gave Austin an inquisitive look, but Austin shrugged it off.
Eric didn't even acknowledge the comment and looked at Ally, giving her the creeps. "So, how old are you, Ally?"
"17." Honestly? It was good creeps? She kind of liked the attention.
"When do you turn 18?"
Austin cut in before she could say anything. "And how old are you, then?"
Dustin stayed silent and watched the exchange, not commenting on the uncomfortable atmosphere.
(Line Break)
The worst part about the night was Austin's incessant need to touch her. He was making fun of her, she could tell. Because every time he would move his hand around on her leg, he would smirk at her as if it was all a joke. The worst part was that the man laughed after and said he was joking, but nobody was laughing. The worst part was when Eric asked her out and Austin nearly left bruises on her leg when he tensed up at the man's comments. The worst part was that she was upset when they stood up to leave and he stopped touching her. The worst part was the she was tired, and didn't remember the ride home or how she got into her bed nor her pajamas. The worst part, was that she so badly wanted to.
(Line Break)
Ally could almost see her mom stand firm in front of her dad as he towered over her, trying to intimidate her. Dustin and Ally were in his room, her in his arms, and him softly reading "The Tale of Despereaux," trying to block out the sound of the yelling. Three hours this had been going on. They were already into the third section of the book after reading it straight. They would flinch when the yelling would get exponentially louder, or when they heard their parents stomping up and down the hallway, throwing things at each other, if not literal objects, word that should never be spoken.
"'Can you imagine it? Can you imagine your father selling you for a tablecloth, a hen, and a handful of cigarettes?'"
Just then the whole house rattle with her mother's shrieking yell, "I KNOW. I'M A BURDEN. YOU LOVE TO TELL ME. YOU CHOSE THIS."
Her father growled in reply, "No, Anne, I didn't. I settled for you because nobody else could ever want you. You lucky to have me."
"HOW AM I LUCKY?!" Her voice held a desperation in it that she never ever wanted to hear. "YOU TELL ME EVERY DAY THAT I'M USELESS. YOU TELL ME HOW YOU WORK AND I DO NOTHING. YOU LOVE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT."
"Why are you yelling? I thought we were just going to have a talk. Don't yell at me."
Her mom laughed a humorless laugh and she could imagine her shaking her head in defeat. "Shut the hell up. You have no idea. You live in your own world where everything revolves around you. I'm done. If you want me to go, that's what I'll do."
Ally became aware of Dustin's reading again, and noticed how he had raised his voice louder. "'Your ma's dead?'
'Yes,' said the Pea. 'She died just last month.' She bit her bottom lip to stop it from trembling."
The door burst open and her dad came barging in. He ripped the book from Dustin's clutches and flung it across the room. "Your mother and I are getting a divorce."
There was a clock in Dustin's room. An old fashioned one with a second hand. She let herself tune out, and listen to the tick, popping a single knuckle every time the little second hand moved.
If you still accept me as a human after my mistakes and eh writing, review to make my day? Please?