Let's play compare and contrast: How were Actual Hell and Fake Hell different?
Well, for starters, Hell time was the same as real time in Fake Hell. When it felt like a few minutes, a few minutes had actually passed. At least that's what our watches told us. I was sticking to that, because the very thought of the time difference made my blood pressure rise.
Secondly, the cold, while cold, was more of a damp chill, rather than the bone-seeping, soul-invading cold from Actual Hell. You were pretty sure that once you changed into comfy pants and fluffy socks, you'd be good to go.
And finally, Actual Hell scared the absolute, complete fuck out of you. Fake Hell had all the same images, but lacked a lot of the punch. Maybe because in the back of your mind, you knew it was fake. You knew you'd get out. Fake Lucifer told you he was a Fake Lucifer.
Fortunately, I saw the differences. I was still freaked out, but that was more from not understanding what was really going on, rather than the Hell Experience.
Unfortunately, my family had no such benchmark comparisons, so they were properly disturbed.
In the back of my mind, though, I was actually a little satisfied. That Samifer (fuckin' fanfic…) was right - they really didn't appreciate or understand this Trial at all.
Or any of the Trials.
Or the whole damn curse, come to think about it.
Anyway.
I was pretty sure Dad and Bobby thought I'd been hit on the head to think I was in Hell, let alone dealing with Lucifer, so seeing them flinch was definitely awesome.
Hopefully, that didn't make me sound like too much of an asshole.
(Although honestly, I was okay if it did.)
We went downstairs, making our way through the claw-marked corridor. We moved fairly quickly, partly so I didn't refresh every detail of this place in my mind, and partly so my family didn't acquire them. We reached the doorway that started off the sequence of fucked up corpse-filled rooms, and I paused, hand on the doorknob, dreading what lie ahead.
"What is it?" Dad asked softly, the eeriness of this place subduing even him.
Pulling at my upper lip, I debated how to explain what lie ahead.
"Just tell them."
I blew out a breath. Fine. "We need to go through a series of really disturbing rooms," I started.
Dean and Sam nodded, wearing an expression that seemed to say, "We know this was disturbing for you. But we're here now." Glancing at Bobby and Dad, they wore it, too.
Irritation commandeered my senses, cutting off the rest of my speech. Turning away, I shoved my empty hand into a pocket, trying to hide the uncontrollable shaking. I wanted to scream that they were getting the dumbed down version of Hell, that my Sam and Dean spent decades being tortured here, that Adam was trapped here as a punching bag, that if Cas hadn't found me, I'd still be here.
More importantly, this Adam was here now. Real or Fake aside, he was here, and in trouble. I had no desire to waste time giving the fifty cent tour through The Cage while my brother was missing.
Again.
"What's wrong?" Dad asked again, a little more insistently. He took a step closer, prompting me to move even further away.
"Kate." Castiel.
Okay, him I faced, cramming all my thoughts and emotions between his eyes until he flinched, understanding. He used a mental tone that aimed for reason and logic. "You know their comprehension is impossible. Do not let that image of Lucifer alter your course of action."
I glimpsed the guys playing eyeball ping pong between Cas and me, trying to figure out the delay.
"You know what?" I ranted, gesturing at them. "I know it isn't about their understanding. They don't fucking get it, Cas. They'll never get it. I know that. The patronizing little looks and noises make want to shove my Goddamn fist through a face, but that's not the point. The point is that this is a waste of time. I want my brother back, alive, not a broken, scarred, punching bag for a couple of douchebag archangels!"
At this point, I realized, oh shit, I spoke that whole thing out loud. My voice caught in my throat, and a few tears escaped down my cheek, stinging as they hit the gashes.
If it was quiet before, it was really quiet now.
Sigh.
Spinning in a slow circle, I spoke louder, to whomever was orchestrating this nightmare. "You know what? Fuck you. I'm not taking them through those rooms. I'm not putting them through that. This isn't about them. This isn't about me." I stopped, taking a couple harsh breaths, and adjusting my grip on the angel blade. "Where is he?" I yelled, wincing at the shrill tone reverberating in my head.
Seriously - my head was killing me, most likely adding to the frustration.
The tugging became insistent. Gasping, I clutched at my chest, staggering back a step or two.
Dad took hold of my arm, steadying me as I doubled over. "Easy…"
"The spell," I gasped. "It's getting a little...pushy…"
Bobby stepped close. "Missy, maybe we should just go where it wants us to go."
"No," I snarled, yanking my arm out of Dad's grasp, forcing myself to stand up. A jolt of pain shot through my chest and head, and without warning, the scenery changed.
We were outside, in that ruined Hell city where Cas found me. The pain ended abruptly, and we all froze, weapons ready, on highest alert. My heartbeat sounded so loud in my head, I swore everyone heard it.
Then again, everyone probably thought that.
"What the fuck…" Sam choked, stepping back and taking Dean with him.
We all turned. There, by a ruined building, stood a Hellhound.
Correction, an immense, shimmering, black-as-night Hellhound.
"Oh, Jesus Christ…" I murmured, holding up the blade and carefully stepping in front of Bobby, who had no weapon against a beast like this.
"It's...it's huge!" Sam couldn't take his eyes off it.
"She is a decent size," Cas agreed, head tilted and eyes narrowed as he assessed this new situation.
"What's huge?" Dean asked."I don't see anything!"
Uh…
"Me either. What are you looking at? What's there?" Dad squinted in the right direction, but apparently had nothing to focus on.
Oh, shit.
Wait…
"Sam? You - you can see it?"
"See what?" Bobby growled, turning his head in all directions.
Fuck.
Sam's eyes darted to me before answering. "There's an enormous...dog...right over there. How can you not see it?"
Castiel slowly faced him. "It's a Hellhound, and I'm curious as to how you can see it."
"Hellhound?!" Dad exclaimed, frantically trying to locate it. "No one here made a deal - how can you see it?"
Cas glanced at me. "Kate and I are able to see them. I was unaware that Sam also had this ability."
Sam's eyes widened, wild around the edges. "I had no idea!"
"Maybe the demon blood?" I thought-asked Cas, not really wanting to bring that into this.
I hadn't been one hundred percent truthful about how I was able to see Hounds. The only backdoor excuse I had, was that I wasn't one hundred percent sure it was from angel grace. Still, the time to fess up the whole grace thing was getting closer by the second.
"Perhaps," he answered. Continuing out loud, "John - I believe it would be best if you gave the Kurdish knife to Sam, since he can see the Hellhound."
Even though my attention was locked on the dog, I felt Dad's hesitation. Give up the only weapon that could potentially kill something in "Hell"? Not gonna happen easily. But when the Hound took a couple steps toward us, being on the fence wasn't an option.
Sam motioned urgently with his hand. "Give it to me, Dad. It's coming this way."
With a huff, Dad handed it over, but he was clearly not happy about it.
Cas, Sam and I formed a barrier of sorts in an attempt at defensive maneuvering. The Hound continued its overly casual saunter, accented with an almost bored yawn.
"Cas…?" Sam asked, in a small voice. I could hear him swallowing.
"Don't provoke it. I don't know what it - "
The Hound stopped, turning its nose into the air, sniffing something. It leveled a gaze at me, seeming to...smile.
I narrowed my eyes at it.
It tilted its head, sniffing more.
It must've whiffed something good, because suddenly, it stood to attention, nose twitching, eyes focused in the distance.
Facing me once again, I swear to God - it winked. It fucking winked.
"Did it...did it just wink?" Oh good, I wasn't crazy, Sam saw it, too.
The Hound's stare bored through me, making me squirm. "What the hell does it - "
Then I figured it out. The Hound sat back on its haunches, as if congratulating me for finally catching up.
"Adam," I whispered, bile rising into my throat. "It smells Adam."
It made a show of stretching, before shooting me a smug look, and tearing off across the street.
"Fuck!" I yelped, bolting after it. Obviously, I didn't run as fast as a Hellhound, but the spell's tugging was back, guiding me through the ruins. It would've been so helpful to have a Supernatural GPS the last time.
Behind me, there was swearing and the sound of feet pounding against the dirt, as four men and an angel scrambled to catch up.
Heart thumping, I poured all my strength into each step, pushing myself to move faster. This time, I didn't need to manage a soul, only keep my grip on the angel blade.
I could do that.
Everything else became a blur as I followed both the spell's direction and the fleeting glimpses of the Hound as it ran ahead.
I have no idea how long or far we ran. I barely paid attention to the scenery - I was too focused on not tripping over stray rocks and making sure I ran the right way.
The spell forced me to the right, so I turned a corner and promptly slid to a halt, losing my balance and ending up in the dirt.
Up ahead, the Hound loomed over a body.
Someone helped me to my feet. The firm grip, followed by downy pressure around my shoulders, had me sighing in relief, in-between gasping for air.
The Hound, blinked languidly, pointedly between my brother and me.
Oh, hell no.
I held up my blade, mustering all the badassery I could into my voice. "I killed one of you already. Get away from him, or I'll kill you, too." The whole this isn't real part wasn't clicking right then. The threat made me feel better, so I went with it, because all I saw was that body, huddled on the ground, and this rescue merged with that rescue, and it was a jumbled bag of Nonono - not again!
I took a step toward them.
"Kate!" Dad grated, insistent and panicked, unable to get closer because, right, no weapon.
Sam was at my side in an instant, still catching his breath, but knife up and ready.
Everything inside screamed to save Adam, to get out, to get to the boat, to go back to the Bunker, to finish the Trial. My chest heaved, my head filled with a piercing shriek, and just when I thought I would completely lose my shit...
The Hound sat down. "Thank you for sharing your story, Kate. It was very...enlightening. No wonder your brothers were so proud."
Then it just...disappeared. There was this whooshing sound, and...nothing.
Whatever - it was gone. The sensation of being untethered triggered me to drop the blade and run to Adam's side. Kneeling in the dirt, crying, my hands hovered over his body, afraid to touch him.
What if he didn't know me?
"Adam?" I whimpered, forcing myself to barely touch his shoulder. On his own, Adam rolled over, his eyelids fluttering open.
"...Kate?" He rasped, curling in a ball to cough up a lung.
I did this classy choking-sobbing-laughing thing, pulling him to me, crying harder when he gripped me back.
The others were talking, things were apparently happening, but I didn't give a shit. We found him, he was alive, and he knew who I was.
"Okay...okay...we have to go...we have to get to the boat…"
Dad knelt beside me, gently prodding my shoulder. "Kate...give him to me, and let's get back to the car."
"Boat...you mean boat. Daddy, we don't have much time...and I don't...I don't know which way to go...I have to finish the Trial...get Adam to his mom...we have to - "
"Kate…" Dad's hands cupped my chin, pulling me to face him.
Him.
Wait.
He's not supposed to be here.
Or…
Shit.
Blinking, I looked around. Bare trees, branches stretching to the sky, swayed in the wind. The wet and spongy ground squished under my feet as I twisted to see the worried faces of my family. Dad nodded over my head at Dean, who crouched next to me, prying my hands from Adam's jacket.
"C'mon, kiddo...let's go home."
Swallowing hard, I reluctantly let go, allowing Dad to begin a quick assessment of any injuries. Dean got me to my feet, murmuring...something...while checking me over.
Other than a hideous cough and a fever, Adam seemed fine, with only bruises and scrapes all over his body. I guessed he'd been lying on the cold, wet ground, hurt and sick, while we tramped around playing "Appreciate My Experiences".
Reaching up, I gingerly touched my cheek, noting that while the bandages were still in place, there was nothing to bandage.
"Cas?" No answer.
"Where's Cas?" I mumbled into Dean's shoulder.
He shrugged, jostling my face. "Dunno - he disappeared right after we reached Adam."
Great.
Sam appeared at my other side, and together we went back to the boat.
Not boat...car.
Car.
'Cuz this wasn't real.
Got it.
Bobby held open the Impala's back door. "Put him in here, John. It'll be more comfortable."
Nodding a thanks, Dad carefully set Adam in the back seat, while Dean grabbed a couple blankets from the trunk, gesturing for me to follow suit.
Once we were both tucked in, I gathered Adam into my arms, and waited for Dean to take us home.
xxxxx
Five hours was a decent chunk of time to process everything. I was beyond exhausted, but my brain was too wired to let me sleep.
Dean kept the music low, he and Sam murmuring occasionally during a musical lull. Adam made the most noise; that fucking cough wracked his body until he could barely catch his breath. The fever stayed in check, thankfully.
My plan was to ask Cas to heal him, but several attempts at communicating proved fruitless. So in the absence of angelic powers, I rubbed his back and handed over tissues when needed.
Which was pretty much the entire ride.
"Try and get some sleep," I coaxed, after the first hour.
Adam just shook his head, coughing, hand twisting in my jacket, burrowing closer.
"Hey...I've got you. Not letting you out of my sight, okay? You need to rest. Dean and Sam are here, too...you're safe. I promise." Shifting my hold on him, I squeezed him tight, before fussing with the blanket, making sure he was completely covered.
It took another hour, but he eventually fell asleep.
xxxxx
By the time we got back to Sioux Falls, it was dark, my head was full of speculation and still no word from Castiel.
I gently woke Adam, and with Bobby's help, got him inside and up the stairs. The haunted look in his eyes wasn't the haunted look of a hunter...it was one of a victim, and it made me cry.
We got him cleaned up and in bed with a bottle of water, some medicine, and as many thick blankets as we could find. He still wasn't saying much, and no one was pushing. I sat with him as he fell asleep, head in my lap, hand in mine.
Bobby leaned against the doorframe, whispering, "Kate - go get a shower."
Not taking my eyes off Adam, I answered, "Don't need to."
He sighed. "Then how about changing into something more comfortable?"
"No…"
A huff. "At least go take a piss. Jesus, Kate - "
"I don't need a shower, I don't need to change, I don't need anything," I snapped. "I'm not leaving him, so quit asking me to." I understood the underlying plea in his words. Come downstairs. Sit with us. Ground yourself. We want to help.
But I wasn't ready to face anyone. Nowhere near ready.
A shift in stance told me Bobby was bristling at my words, but it wasn't long before worry overshadowed annoyance. For a couple seconds, guilt kinda crept in for snapping at him. But then I remembered Adam's body at the feet of the Hound, in the corner of The Cage, and guilt kinda flew out the door.
I needed to be here, and they had to understand that. They just did.
Still, Bobby didn't deserve my shit.
"I need to be here, Bobby. Just...just let me be here. Please."
Another sigh, this one deep and resigned. He didn't bother answering, instead just nodding and closing the door behind him as he left.
Finally.
Returning my attention to Adam, I began threading my fingers through his hair, smiling when he snuggled closer.
How could I have let something happen to him?
"You didn't let anything happen, and you know it."
Looking up, there was Cas, in a corner, disheveled and looking severely pissed off.
I sat up a little. "Hey! Are you okay?"
Cas passed a hand through his hair, trying to tame his wild appearance. "I've been better. I've never experienced a banishing sigil before. I am not interested in experiencing it again."
"It took me a bit, but I figured out that's what happened. Where'd you end up?"
He made a face. "Very far away." Nicely vague.
Cas gestured at Adam. "His temperature is mildly elevated, there is an infection in his chest and he has some cuts and bruising."
I nodded, placing a hand on Adam's head. "Yeah, that's what we thought."
Cas walked over, placing two fingers on Adam's temple. Adam took a deep breath, stretched, and continued sleeping. "He is fine, now. At least, physically."
Before he moved his hand away, I covered it with mine, squeezing gently. "Thank you."
He squeezed back. "Of course. I apologize for not being here sooner. I shouldn't have let - "
"Hey - you didn't let yourself be banished. You were banished. Not like you could've stopped it. I should know."
He sighed, perching on the edge of the bed, my hand still in his.
"Listen," I continued. "I've given this a lot of thought. I think an angel was behind all of this."
Cas nodded, eyes flat, yet sad. "Yes, that thought crossed my mind as well. I'm not sure what else would have the power or knowledge to do it. I suppose it could have been a witch, but - "
"But we know angels hate me," I finished. Drama much?
"Not all angels hate you."
I smiled at him.
"I planned on speaking...or trying to speak...to Michael about this, but...I wanted to see you, first."
"What do they want with me now, Cas?" The question came out a little whinier than I wanted, but I didn't care. I was beyond tired, beyond worried for my family.
Cas brought my hand to his lips, before pressing it to his cheek. "I don't think Uriel is behind this. He was under strict orders from Michael to leave you alone - he would not disobey. I will investigate, and see what I can discover. In the meantime…"
I sighed. "In the meantime, I need to protect everyone in this house."
Cas looked up sharply gesturing at me with our hands. "That includes you."
"I'm the cause of the danger they're in. If it weren't for me, Adam wouldn't have been taken. Someone is fucking with me, and hurting them in the process. This time was Adam. What about next time? Even you're not safe from that, Cas."
Our eyes locked. "You realize that if you ward this house, you will suffer ill effects while inside because of my grace."
Swallowing, I nodded. "I know. But, hey - can't be as bad as after the second Trial, right?"
Oh, hey...he didn't look sure about that. Sweet.
I sighed. "I have no other choice, Cas. If you need me, you'll have to use the phone or knock on the door like...like a human."
Letting go of my hand, he breathed a laugh. "And if you need me…"
"I'll go outside. Which...depending on how bad I feel, may be often."
"Outside, you won't have - "
"I know."
Cas slowly stood, pacing a little, hands on his hips. "I don't like this plan," he said out loud.
"If you have a better one, I'm all ears."
Oh God, he actually snuck a peek to make sure I wasn't literally all ears. I fucking love him.
"I don't." He sighed again. "I can't help you set up the wards. Do you know which symbols to use, and where to put them?"
"Yeah...Sam taught them to me." He raised an eyebrow. "My other Sam."
Castiel made an "Ahhh…" face.
It fell quiet, as the reality of the situation settled on us. We were told to stay apart, and we were doing a pretty good job of it. Well, excepting this disaster. But the wards would put an additional barrier between us.
I didn't like it, either.
Cas stood still, head tilted, and I knew exactly what was coming next.
"Time to leave, huh?"
Nodding, Cas said, "When the sigil was triggered, it was heard by others in Heaven. It has a distinctive...ring. They do not know who was banished, so there is a general summons for angels on Earth. I must go."
"What're you gonna tell them?"
He smiled a little. "I thought I'd let them talk first, then figure it out from there."
I laughed. "You're learning."
Cas smiled. "I am. And you need to rest."
I dug the heel of one hand into my eye. "I know. But I can't...my brain won't shut down."
In a flash, Cas was at my side, fingers against my cheek. "Luckily, I can flip you off."
Sleep pulled at me before I could correct him.