A/N: A big thank you to Paige, Cristina, Tiffany & Sherry for helping me with this chapter.

As I said in my group, now that it is the holidays updates will be a little slower.

Thanks for the reviews. I'm sorry I don't have the time/energy to reply to them all, but please know that I read and treasure every one xx

Chapter 17

The next few days passed more or less the same. Kate, Rosalie and Esme came over to spend time with me while Edward went out to take care of business. In all honesty, I would have been a lot happier on my own, but Edward had said he didn't want me to be left alone all day. I don't know what he thought I was going to do. It wasn't as if I was planning anything stupid. I would have probably sat in bed, crying and eating ice cream, while I thought about my parents.

Instead, I spent the majority of the day in the main sitting room with the girls, watching movies and talking. Well, I mostly listened while they talked, but I will admit it was a good distraction, and I did have some fun. Kate got along with both Esme and Rosalie, which was nice. I hoped that meant that she would be invited to a lot of the future family events. I wasn't sure I would see her otherwise.

In the evenings, when they left, I usually went to my room to enjoy the peace and quiet. Sometimes Edward would leave me to my own devices, other times he would ask me to spend time with him, like he had tonight. He had Marcus collect us Italian food from one of the restaurants in the city. They didn't usually do take-out, but Edward was an exception. I figured they were just one of the many people in the city who were eager to please him and his family. Just like Edward was eager to please me. I guess I should be grateful that he was trying, but I knew it was going to take a lot more than Italian food and chitchat to make our relationship work.

"Why did you want to marry someone with a target on their head?" I asked, because in all honesty the question was driving me crazy. Surely, it would have been easier for him to marry someone a little less complicated?

"Because I like a challenge," Edward said, smirking at me as he popped a piece of chicken in his mouth. I shoved his arm, glaring at him, telling him I wanted a serious answer. Edward shrugged his shoulders, a serious expression taking over his face. "Our fathers had always planned on uniting our families. I guess you could say our wedding had been arranged for a long time. The date just got pushed forward a little when you got into trouble."

I screwed up my face. "If our wedding had been planned for so long, then why me and not Kate? I mean she's closer to your age. Surely, she would have been a better match?"

"You're just full of questions," Edward said, smiling.

"I have an inquisitive mind," I said, grimacing.

"When we were younger our families used to be closer. My father said you were the one I always chose to go to when we visited. I was very protective of you, so they both thought that we would be a good match."

"I don't remember you. I don't remember you coming to visit."

"You were very young. I am seven years older, and by the time you would be old enough to remember me I was in training. So, on the rare occasion that we did visit, I didn't see you."

"Oh," I said, trying to process everything he had said. I couldn't believe that our marriage had been arranged all this time. Why hadn't my father told me? Why hadn't I been given the chance to get to know Edward? It was yet another thing, in a long line of shit that my father had done wrong.

If I had been given the chance to know Edward, I wouldn't have fought him. Instead, I would have welcomed the safety and protection that he had offered me. None of this mess would have happened, but then, Edward wasn't entirely innocent either, was he? Why hadn't he tried to get to know me? Why hadn't he come to visit me, even introduced himself?

"Don't," Edward said, gently touching my arm. "I can see you overanalyzing everything, Isabella. I know things could have been handled better, for that I can only apologize. If I could, I would go back and do it all over again, but I can't. So, all I can do is apologize and hope that one day you will understand my actions and forgive me."

I nodded because I too hoped that one day I would be able to understand and forgive him, but I knew that today wasn't that day. Everything was still too raw and confusing. I knew he was trying to make an effort, but that didn't erase what I was feeling.

I stood up from the dining table and walked over to the window, looking out at the lights of the city in the night sky, trying to distract myself from the big aching hole in my chest, but it wasn't working. I couldn't help but think what kind of life I would have had if things had gone down differently. "If my father," I stuttered, "If my father hadn't gotten into trouble, if he hadn't needed you to take me away, when would I have found out about the engagement?"

Edward was silent for several minutes, but I didn't bother turning around to see if he was still there. I could feel his eyes burning into my back. I simply waited for his answer.

"I would have kept an eye on you, watching you from afar, but I wouldn't have made myself known to you until your twentieth birthday. After that, I would have begun courting you and depending on how well that would have gone, would have depended on when I asked you to marry me."

I nodded as bitter tears stung my eyes. I knew it. It was just as I had expected. If my father hadn't screwed up, my life would have been everything I had hoped for. I leaned my head against the glass, closing my eyes as silent tears spilled down my cheeks.

I heard Edward's chair scrape against the wooden floor, followed by the sound of his shoes walking towards me. "I'm sorry," he said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head, shrugging away from his touch. He didn't get to apologize his way out of this either. He wasn't exactly innocent. He could have come to see me. He could have introduced himself and been my friend before he was my husband. Even if he couldn't have done that, he could have treated me differently when he picked me up all those weeks ago. He saw my heart was breaking, and he did nothing to comfort me. He treated me like he was a cold, heartless criminal, making me feel worthless; but then, I guess that is what he is. Should I really expect him to treat me any differently?

My father had worshiped the ground my mother had walked on, but look where that had gotten her. She was dead. "Argh." I grabbed my hair in frustration. Everything was so confusing. I could no longer tell the difference between north and south.

"Talk to me," Edward pleaded. "Things won't get any better if we don't talk."

I scoffed at him. "Now you want to talk? What about when you kidnapped me? When you stole my phone? When you tore me away from my father's knee when I was begging him not to send me away? You weren't so talkative then."

"I know," Edward sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I was angry with your father, angry that you were upset, and angry that things were so bad that I had to take you away. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, but I did. I had to get rid of your phone because someone could have been tracking it. There were only a handful of people who knew where you were going and we needed to keep it that way for your safety."

"You couldn't have taken the time to explain that to me, or let me transfer my pictures and stuff?"

"Like I said, I'm sorry."

"Sorry," I said, mimicking him. "Is that all you can say?"

"No… would you prefer it if I didn't apologize?"

"No, I would prefer it if you weren't such an asshole!" I shouted, throwing my hands up in exasperation.

"You haven't been so easy to live with yourself."

"Yeah, well you only have yourself to blame for that," I said in anger, glaring at him, then turning back around to face the window.

"I know."

We both stood in silence for several minutes before the sound of Edward's cell broke the quietness. Edward excused himself and walked away to answer his phone. I watched him in the reflection of the glass. He spoke animatedly for a few minutes before returning to my side, saying the words I both dreaded and longed to hear. "The police have released your parents bodies."

I took a deep, shaky breath. "Okay."

"You should try to get some rest. We'll leave for New York first thing in the morning."

I nodded, but I knew I wouldn't find any rest tonight. I excused myself and headed to the solitude of my room, where I paced the floor, waiting for the first sign of daylight.