A/N: Don't own SVU. SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS DELAYED UPDATE BUT HERE YOU GO!
"Amanda whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm not here to judge you, you know that right? I can help you but you need to tell me what happened."
"I.. I was raped." She couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Olivia pulled her into a hug, Amanda fought the hug but she accepted. It was nice to know that someone was there for her this time. She sobbed into Olivia's shirt, she couldn't hold back anymore. Olivia rubbed soft circles on her back, "Shh, shh, shh. Everything is going to be okay sweetie"
She cried, probably the hardest she's cried in her entire life. She couldn't stop crying, it's like the switch in her brain said 'keep crying Amanda, she isn't going to judge you, she won't hurt you.' but at the same time she knew she needed to stop because she didn't want to be perceived as weak. She felt so small in Olivia's arms, felt so weak and pathetic. "Liv I'm so sorry."
"Amanda, why are you apologizing? You've done nothing wrong."
"Just habit I guess." Her voice was barely above a whisper.
"What do you mean just a habit?"
"Nothing, never mind."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"He knew me." Amanda blurted out.
"What do you mean he knew you?" Olivia inquired.
"He knew my name, he called me his Georgia Peach and he sounded so familiar. I think I've met him before." Amanda told her.
"Can you describe him for me?"
"I didn't get a good look at him. I'd say white male, early thirties, 6'3", 215 or 220, southern. He reeked of bourbon and cigars. God, that's useless!" Amanda was getting frustrated.
"Amanda that's helpful. Why did you decide to walk home last night?"
"I knew there was going to be a lot of traffic when I left the precinct so I decided to walk the sixteen blocks back here, big mistake I guess…" Amanda trailed off. "We go through training to prevent shit like this from happening." Amanda needed a drink. She started rummaging through her cabinets angrily.
"What are you looking for?"
"I had a bottle of Scotch here somewhere."
"I thought you didn't drink."
"I started after I quit gambling. I picked up a new habit to replace the old."
"Amanda-"
"Spare me the lecture, Liv. I know" Amanda felt sick.
"I was going to ask if you felt okay, maybe you should sit down."
"Goddammit Liv I'm fi-" She wasn't fine. Amanda turned away from Olivia and vomited in the sink. Olivia rushed over and held her hair. She started rubbing circles on her back, then Amanda screamed in pain.
"Amanda, what's wrong?" Olivia sounded apprehensive.
"My back, oh god it hurts." Amanda burst into tears.
"I need to look at it." Amanda nodded her head in agreement. Olivia slowly lifted her shirt, horrified to the point that she audibly gasped. Her back was covered in bruised and there was a relatively large gash that was still bleeding a little.
"Oh my god Amanda, you need to see a doctor." Amanda started to panic. She couldn't let anyone see her like this, it was bad enough that Liv knew about it but she'd rather die than tell more people what happened to her.
"No, no no no no" She started to hyperventilate. "P-Pplease, you can't tell anyone." Amanda ran towards the bathroom and Olivia followed suit. Olivia heard the door lock and she knocked repeatedly.
"Amanda, come on open up. Look I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you." No response. She knocked one more time. "Please Amanda" Desperation evident in her voice, Amanda didn't seem to care. Footsteps, Liv must've walked away from the door. Amanda's breathing began to return to normal, she took a slow, deep breath. She climbed into her bathtub and brought her knees to her chest and let more tears flow.
Olivia's head starting pounding, 'What I'm going to do? When I try to help she lashes out. She won't go to the hospital, she's sick and I feel counterproductive.' She rubbed her forehead. It clicked for her. If she couldn't bring her to see a doctor, she'll get a doctor to come see her. Olivia pulled out her phone.
"Come on pick up, pick up." She said out loud.
"Hello?"
"Hey, I need a favor." Amanda heard her talking to someone on the phone, she got out of the tub and headed towards the door in order to hear more.
"What's up, Liv?"
"I've got a patient here who refuses to go to the hospital and she has nasty gash that I think needs to be looked at. You think you can help me out?"
"Give me twenty minutes, text me the address."
"Thank you so much." There was a click at the end of the line. Olivia texted the address, put her phone back in her pocket and headed towards the bathroom again.
Hearing Olivia's footsteps, Amanda headed back into the bathtub. She resumed the same position she was in before and absentmindedly started rocking herself back and forth. There was another knock on the door.
"Amanda, please open up. I'm bringing someone over to check out your back. I know I should have invited them into your home but you refuse to go to a hospital. So, I'm bringing one here. You don't even have to leave the bathroom." She heard the door unlock and open. "Hey" She said softly.
"Hi." Amanda replied solemnly, "Who's coming over?"
"Melinda, don't worry she won't say anything." She could sense the unease in her, "You can trust her."
Instead of replying, Amanda went back into the tub again and just sat there, looking at Olivia. Olivia slipped off her jacket and shoes and joined her in the tub. Amanda's eyes felt heavy and Olivia just watched her. She hated seeing someone who was once so full of life and joy, suddenly stripped down to nothing but sadness and hatred of their entire being. Olivia took this time to really studied her.
Amanda's skin was slightly paler than normal, her eyes swollen and red from crying, her hair was a matted, mangled mess. Then her eyes started drooping, she figured that she hadn't slept last night and quite possibly the night before. Olivia mimicked Amanda's position and just watched her starting to drift.
They sat in uninterrupted silence until there was a knock at the front door. Amanda was suddenly on high alert and her breathing started becoming erratic again.
"Amanda, look at me." Olivia scooted closer to her and cupped her cheek. "No one is going to hurt you, I promise." Amanda gently squeezed her hand. "I'm going to go answer the door, where is your gun?"
"Right here" Amanda pulled her gun from behind her back.
"I'll be right back." Olivia got out of the tub to answer the door. Another knock. It was Melinda, she was relieved.
They walked into the bathroom and Amanda lifted her head to look at Melinda. "Hey Amanda, it's nice to see you again."
"Likewise but I do wish it was under better circumstances."
"What seems to be the problem?" Amanda got out of the tub, turned around and lifted up her shirt. "Damn" Melina said to her.
"You think you can stitch it up here?" Olivia asked her.
"Girl, I can do anything. I'll need a hot rag and I need her to sit on the floor and you sit in front of her."
"I can do that." Olivia looked through Amanda's cabinets and found a rag. She ran it under hot water and handed it to Melinda. Olivia then sat down in front of Amanda and held out her hands for Amanda.
"Alright Amanda. I'm going to administer the drug, this will numb your-"
"No, no no drugs."
Olivia squeezed her hands, "Amanda, you can trust her. I'll be right here the whole time. You have nothing to worry about."
Amanda hesitated, "O.. Okay." She took a deep breath.
"You're going to feel a pinch followed by major discomfort because of the way you're sitting on the floor. Would you like a painkiller before hand?" Melinda asked her.
"No, let's just get this over with." There was a copious amount of pressure when Melinda injected the drug into her back. She tried holding her breath.
"Amanda you need to breathe, squeeze my hands." Olivia thought her hands were going to break when she squeezed them. "Breathe. Talk to me, it'll help get your mind of the pain."
"Talk to you about what?"
"Anything you want."
"I'm going to start suturing, let me know if it becomes too unbearable." Melinda piped in.
"Okay."
"Amanda?" Melinda asked her.
"Yeah?"
"I don't mean to pry and you don't have to answer me but what happened?" Amanda could tell that Melinda didn't want to ask but she knew she had to.
"I was attacked last night on my way home from the precinct." She blurted out. She hadn't meant to tell her but it just came out.
"Were you…" Melinda trailed off.
"Yes and no I haven't been to the hospital. I don't want to report it and I knew if I went to the hospital people would start asking questions and I couldn't go through that emotional trauma again." Olivia's eyes widened at Amanda's confession.
"Again? You've been raped before?"
"Twice. The first time was when I was sixteen..." She started crying, "and the second was by my boss in Atlanta. That's why I came to New York to get away from him. I couldn't handle seeing him everyday after the assault. And this makes three." She sobbed.
"Oh my god Amanda." Olivia and Melinda both had tears running down their faces at this point.
"Alright," Melinda choked back some tears. "We're all done."
"Thanks Melinda. Please don't say anything about this to anyone." Amanda told her.
"You don't have to worry about that." All three of them got up from the floor and Melinda said her goodbyes to both of them. "Amanda if you ever need someone, I'm here for you." Melinda hugged her.
"Thank you" She cried into her shoulder.
"Oh, I almost forgot. You'll need someone to change the dressings every few hours." Melinda reached into her bag and pulled out some antiseptic and some gauze. "Just incase you don't have any." Amanda nodded her head.
"Melinda thank you for coming out here." Olivia said.
"You're welcome. If the wounds get infected, you'll need to go to the hospital."
"Let's go to the hospital now." Amanda suggested.
"Are you sure?" They both asked in unison.
"Not really but I don't want this guy to walk. He could be out there right now hurting another girl. Sorry I wasted your time Melinda."
"Amanda, stop apologizing." Melinda reassured her. "I'm glad to help anywhere I can. I'll even take you there with Liv."
"You don't have to do that, Melinda."
"I don't have to but I want to. Come on let's go catch this rat son of a bitch." All three of them walked out of her apartment and headed to the hospital.