So.. If I'm honest, I had forgotten this existed... Like, seriously. I'd forgotten this existed, checked my email, and saw people begging me to update...
I love you guys. Legit, you give me a reason to buckle down and write on.
So here's chapter three! No months of waiting required!
And remember! Mordor has changed locations! It is now in the NORTH of Arda, because The East Shadow isn't as catchy as The North Shadow...
Edit 12/23/14: Ignore the above. It was dumb.
Naruto looked at the hulking form of the Graug in front of him, hiding behind a boulder as it sniffed the air, searching for him.
There was only a day left for him to get to Hobbiton, and he'd been significantly slowed down when he managed to wander into a Graug breeding ground.
One filled with nesting Graug mothers.
Naruto flexed his arm, and decided to do something different.
He grabbed the boulder he was standing behind, and shot out a red chakra chain from his wrist. The chain had a kunai on the end, which embedded itself into the rocky side of a mountain. Then he pulled himself to the other side, boulder in hand.
When he passed the Graug, he slammed the boulder into it's mouth, and released his chain, before kicking the Graug.
The beast stumbled, and Naruto landed at it's feet, which he then grabbed, before his chakra began supporting his body.
Naruto swung the massive monster around, and threw it into the cliff side. A new cave formed, but Naruto wasn't done yet.
He stretched his hand up, and summoned an unstable Rasengan into it.
The ball of energy bubbled, and he threw it. It made contact with the Graug, and exploded. Chunks of Graug flew everywhere, but Naruto just ran.
That Graug had been the closest to the place he needed to go, which was around Helm's Deep. So he killed it, and was now bolting. The cave collapse and explosion would occupy the attention of the other mother Graugs, keeping them from following him to The Shire.
The sun had set, and twilight began as soon as Naruto had stepped foot into Hobbiton.
In all four years that he'd been here, he'd never seen a Hobbit until today. They stood up at a hilarious three feet tall, and looked like large children, with bigger bellies, and even larger feet. Naruto scratched his chin as he watched a trio of Hobbits chattering nearby about a feast.
He was about to ask directions to Bilbo's house when an old man in grey robes rode by.
A fireworks cart was attached to the back of his horse, and Gandalf sat on the seat of the carriage.
"You look lost, Master Wraithslayer," the old man said. A smile was on his face, a rather smug smile.
Naruto wrinkled his nose at his title. Sauron had made an army of wraiths in exchange for his rise being off set for a few more years. Naruto had been at Mina's Tirith when they attacked, and had single-handedly killed twenty of the Wraiths before the Men could even see them. Only, they HAD seen them. When the last Orc Wraith had ran into their sight, screaming about the Wraithslayer, and his terrible, terrible blade, that is. And then Naruto had beheaded it with said katana. Naruto wasn't impressed, and he knew Sauron was merely testing both him and the Men of Minas Tirith.
"Just call me Naruto, Master Wizard. And I would hardly call myself lost. I am in Hobbiton, Shire. I am merely looking for a door. An old man told me I would know it when I see it, but so far I'm beginning to think he was seeing something else," he replied, a smile on his face.
Gandalf chuckled.
"Come. You are almost there, and I do believe your legs deserve a rest. At your speeds, I am surprised they've not yet been shorn off by the mere force of your steps." Naruto blinked, unaware Gandalf knew of his speeds.
"So am I. Very well, Master Wizard. I shall accompany you to our destination." With that, Naruto climbed into the back of the cart, and they were off.
Naruto was hiding above the door of the house. He was waiting for Thorin to arrive, which was when he would follow him in.
Finally, after almost an hour of waiting, the stout Dwarf walked into the Hobbit Hole of Bilbo Baggins. When the door shut, Naruto dropped to the ground, and knocked four times.
"I am not letting anymore Dwarves in," came a voice from inside as the door opened.
Naruto chuckled.
"Do I resemble those stout fellows to you, Master Baggins," he asked, a smile on his face as he looked at the diminutive man.
The Hobbit blushed and stepped aside. Naruto stepped inside, and stood at his full height, and removed his traveling cloak. The Dwarves were a rambunctious bunch, if the singing and noise in the other rooms was any indication.
"Where may I put this, Master Baggins," he asked, looking down to the diminutive man.
"Uh, right... Right over here... Who, exactly, are you," Bilbo asked, pointing to a coat rack.
Naruto grinned, and placed his coat on the top rung.
"Naruto Wraithslayer, at your service, Master Hobbit," Naruto said. The blank face of the Hobbit told Naruto he didn't know him.
"I live on the edge of Mordor, a very bad and evil place. I was the reason for the Black Gate Exodus, when I slew a Ringwraith, and fought and wounded the Dark Lord Sauron himself. I was responsible for the Massacre of Minas Tirith, when twenty of Sauron's most powerful soldiers under his Nazgûl, the Wraiths, died by my blade. I fought a Graug in fisticuffs, and I won," Naruto said.
The clamoring in the other rooms had stopped as soon as he said his name.
A dozen Dwarves were staring at him, hope shining in their eyes.
"And by the season's end, I hope to add Slayer of Smaug the Dragon and Friend of the Lonely Mountain Dwarves to my ever growing list of titles," he said, smiling at the Dwarves.
Thorin spoke up first.
"Welcome, Master Wraithslayer, to our company. I am Thorin Oakenshield. To my left is Gloin, Kili, Fili, Bombur, Bifur, Bofur, Dori, Ori, and Nori. To my right are Balin and Dwalin. We are the Dwarves of Erebor," he said. The door behind them opened, and closed again.
"And the Hobbit beside me is Bilbo Baggins. Our resident thief," came the voice of Gandalf.
Silence reigned.
"Wait. Our WHAT," Bilbo asked.
Naruto groaned as he heard yet another Dwarf suggest going through the front door and bashing the dragon's stone-hard skull in.
"Master Gloin, that idea is as smart as running into Barad-Dur in the nude, shouting your intent to sodomize Sauron. He does not appreciate me doing it, and I'm fairly certain a Dwarf doing so would terrify him into killing you with lots and lots of fire."
"The Dark Lord is a mere fragment of his old self! I can take him," Gloin shouted, banging his axe on the table.
"No. Neither I, nor even Master Gandalf, cannot stand before Sauron as he is NOW, let alone when he is strong enough to maintain a physical form for longer than ten minutes. If we were to work together, we could win, but our chances grow slimmer with ever second," Naruto said.
"Then what do you suggest we do, Master Wraithslayer," Thorin asked.
Naruto looked at the map.
"Does Erebor have a back door, perchance? We could use it, and send the Hobbit down to lure the dragon out, and possibly find out a weakness."
Gandalf spoke up suddenly.
"Then we have a course of action. We'll travel through the Mirkwood. This means we must travel to Rivendell, where we will restock our supplies before moving on, through the Misty Mountains, and then through the Mirkwood to Erebor," the old wizard said.
Naruto's eyes marginally narrowed.
"The road will be treacherous. If you have a weapon, keep it handy. I've heard the sounds of Moria Orcs on the way here, and I have no doubt there will be Orcs in the Mountains," he said. Gandalf pulled an object from his robes, and handed it to Thorin.
"This reminded me. This item, I do believe it is yours, Thorin, Son of Thráin, Son of Thrór," he said.
Thorin unwrapped the object from it's cloth bundle, and a held up a key.
They key to the back door of Erebor.
"We will leave at first light, then," Naruto said.
He and the Dwarves went to sit in the living room, as Gandalf was pulled aside by Bilbo. Hushed conversations ensued, but Naruto could hear them quite well.
"I'm not a burglar," Bilbo said.
"You are now. It is up to you to decide your skill at it, but you are needed for this quest," Gandalf replied.
Naruto closed his eyes, and leaned back next to the fire place.
His thoughts went to Linhir, and to Gwendolyn. The five nights they had spent together had been filled with passion. Much to her mother's disproval, of course, but she understood.
She told them that she'd been the same way when Gwendolyn's father, Gawon, had said he was going to visit his relatives in Mirkwood. He'd never returned, but Celeste never regretted it. She also told Naruto to keep a watch out for him, and to warn him of the lashing he was going to get when he returned.
Naruto was about to doze off when his ears were assaulted by a new sound, one he'd not heard in a while. Since the Dwarven Choir had visited the inn when he was first there, in fact.
Singing Dwarves.
They were humming a slow, deep tune in unison. Some were tapping a beat on the wooden chest in the corner.
Thorin opened his mouth, and began to sing.
"Far over the Misty Mountains cold...To dungeons deep and caverns old..." The other Dwarves began to join in, and Naruto heard Gandalf join too. Even he had joined in, adding his own, unique bass-y tone to the song.
"We must away.. Ere break of day... To find our long-forgotten gold... The pines were roaring on the height... The winds were moaning in the night... The fire was red, it flaming spread... The trees like torches blazed with light..."
Silence ruled the house, and Naruto felt himself dozing off again.
'Sleep well, my darling,' he thought as he fell asleep, trying to ignore the images of fire and death he believed the quest would become if Smaug lived.
CUT!
Way shorter, I know, but I think you'll enjoy what I'm planning next chapter.
I'll occasionally reference the four years that are missing, too. That's the time skip since before the Hobbit, and I needed some way to be able to flex how I change Sauron, and Naruto.
Before any bitches about Mito not doing so, I think it had something to do with her status are the Shodaime Jinchūriki of the Kyūbi. She wasn't as young as Naruto or Kushina when she sealed Kurama into herself, and she probably died of chakra poisoning. Kushina would have had the same problem, because she was like 10 when the Kyūbi was transferred to her. Only, she died at 19, because of Obito ripping Kurama from her, and then jumping in front of his claw. Naruto's coils had time to adjust to the chakra in his body, being not even an hour old at the time of the sealing.
So Naruto is also essentially the Nidaime Kyuubi. He has Nine Tails worth of chakra, and has a secret I'm saving up for later, and is a Bijū in human form. This is to make things more even when Sauron is awake again. Also, Kurama is sleeping. He may miss the entire book, or just up till Smaug is introduced.
VINNA IS SIGNING OFF!