April 22nd 2013
As soon as the purple cloud dissipated from around her, Regina collapsed on her bathroom floor. She curled herself into a fetal position and screamed in pain, the sound echoing through the empty house. She had miscarried before but she had never felt so much pain. She was being ripped apart from the inside. The pain in her lower left abdomen was unbearable.
With great effort, she lifted her head. Her heart pounded against her chest. There was blood everywhere. Her pants and lower shirt were already soaked through and she could see the puddle form underneath her on the white bathroom floor. She had never lost so much blood before. She screamed in both fear and pain. The effort of holding her head up soon proved to be too much however. She laid back down letting the cool bathroom tiles soothe her damped skin. The tears she had been holding back finally cascaded down her cheeks, stinging her skin. She was breathing heavily, unable to catch her breath. She would die alone in her bathroom. It may take them days to realize she was missing.
Regina had ignored all the warning signs of her impending miscarriage over the past few weeks. A lifetime of practice had allowed her to learn to control the pain. She willed herself to calm down and ignore the pain one more time. She closed her eyes and clenched her fists, picturing the pain in her body. If she could pinpoint it, then she could use her mind to stop it. She had almost succeeded when she felt her insides rip apart further. She clenched her teeth and tried to breathe through the pain.
The pain finally subsided to a dull ache, and she opened her eyes one more time. Her vision was blurry from the unshed tears. She tried to sit up but the pain in her abdomen made her collapse on her bathroom floor. She winced and clenched her teeth, fighting against the screams. She needed to forget the pain. Her thoughts drifted toward Henry. Would he even miss her? They had spent a fair amount of time together lately but she didn't know whether Henry had done so willingly or whether he had been asked by David. She remembered the look of pure joy on her son's face when he had run toward Emma. He had completely ignored her. Her mental anguish mixed with the physical pain, and she decided not to fight anymore.
Regina screamed in agony as a new wave of pain hit her. She was nauseous but she didn't have the strength to crawl toward the toilet. She emptied the content of her stomach on the floor and barely managed to push herself away from the soiled tiles before collapsing. Her stomach's contractions sent waves of fresh pain coursing through her. She cried out and writhed on the bathroom floor. She would die here alone.
Regina felt light-headed and she knew that she would soon go into shock from the blood loss. Maybe it was better this way. Her son would be better off without her. He had been reunited with his biological family, with the family he had always wanted. Her short time with Henry flashed before her eyes. She had thought that they had been happy, that he had been happy with her. But she hadn't been enough. She had never been enough for any of the people in her life. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall one more time. She crossed her arms over her abdomen and curled further on herself, hoping for the pain to stop.
Regina didn't know how long she had been laying on her bathroom floor. Her body was thankfully finally numb but she was nauseous and lightheaded. She heaved one more time on the bathroom floor before losing consciousness.
The vibration coming from her pocket woke her. She sobbed as she was once again feeling the pain tearing her body apart. She tried to close her eyes and ignore the incessant vibration on her side. Her muddled mind finally processed the information. Her cell phone. She was lying on the cell phone in her pocket. She reached down and cried out in both pain and relief when she saw the caller ID. "David?..."
The man on the other side of the line seemed relieved to hear her voice. "Regina, you need to tell me where you are." She was fighting to stay conscious. "Emma and I are coming to your house. Regina? Regina, are you there?"
Relief spread through her. They were coming for her. Maybe they could help her. She wasn't alone. Somebody cared enough to check up on her. "yes…"
"We are coming to help you. But you need to hang on. Everything will be ok." Regina never heard the end of that sentence. She fainted one more time from the blood loss and the pain.
ECECEC
February 14th 2013
She was sitting at her dining table, holding her mother's spell book. This book had condemned her to her life with Leopold, to unhappiness and misery. She had sworn to never use magic on her son the same way her mother had used it for discipline. But today she had broken that promise. She had taken Henry by force and then tried to seduce him with magic. But he was stronger than she had been. He had resisted her.
Her thoughts were interrupted by her front door opening in a loud bang. She jumped and gasped in surprise at the sight of the Prince storming into her home, sword in hand. David played with his sword, running up the stairs leading to the dining area. "I want to see him."
Regina walked slowly toward him, with all the poise and grace of the Queen she once was. Her black dressed hugged her body tightly, highlighting each of her movements. David took a step back and brandished the sword toward her neck. She walked toward the sword with no fear in her eyes until it rested in the crook of her neck. "Henry, come down!"
David and Regina seized each other up. The Prince couldn't shake the feeling that Regina was playing with him, like a panther playing with its meal before devouring it. This was too easy. Regina was the first to break the silence. "You won't be using your sword."
"Whatever you conjure I can fight!"
Regina pushed the sword away with the back of her hand. Was he stupid enough to think that his sword was a match for her magic? "I mean, you won't need you sword."
David eyed her suspiciously as Henry reluctantly walked down the stairs. He had heard the commotion downstairs and he was truly afraid of what her mother was capable of doing to his grandfather. Regina walked toward the staircase slowly. She climbed the few stairs separating her from her son. She was trying to breathe evenly, trying not to show her sorrow over her impending decision. Henry swallowed when he found himself face-to-face with his mother. When nobody believed him, he clinged to his belief that the town residents were fairly tale characters trapped in this world by the Evil Queen, by the woman he called mom. But deep down inside he had always hoped that he had been wrong and he had in fact been living in a delusion. He couldn't reconcile the image of his mother with that of his beloved book's Evil Queen. Yet, here she was. And today she had used magic to prove it. But he still couldn't shake the memories of his mother soothing him after a nightmare, reading him bedtime stories, cooking his favorite meals when he was sick, or building sand castles with him on the beach. Even though he was afraid and somewhat ashamed to admit it, he loved her deeply.
Regina schooled her features before addressing her son. "Henry, you're gonna go home with David."
David didn't try to hide his surprise and locked eyes with Henry. Henry settled his gaze back on his mother. "Really?"
Regina nodded slightly. "Really." She gave him a small smile. "I shouldn't have brought you here. I was … I don't know how to love very well. I wasn't capable of it for a very long time. But I know … I remember… that if you hold on to someone too hard, that doesn't make them love you." She paused as memories of her childhood flashed in front of her eyes. "I'm sorry I lied to you, that I made you feel like I didn't know who you are. But I want you to be here because you want to be here, not because I forced you … and not because of magic." She could barely hold back her tears. She finished in a whisper. "I want to redeem myself. Go get your things."
Henry exchanged one more glance with his grandfather before running back upstairs. David waited for Henry to be out of earshot. "Then prove it."
Regina turned toward him. "How?"
"Answer one question. Does it exist?"
She truly looked confused. "What?"
"The Enchanted Forest. Our land … Does it still exist?"
She stepped down the stairs. "Yes. But I have no idea how to get back there."
He hadn't expected the truth. He looked for any signs of deception but when he couldn't find any, he started planning a rescue mission for his wife and daughter. Regina saw the fire in his eyes. "I can see I just launched you on a heroic quest. Just also make sure you take care of my son."
David nodded. "That I can do."
Henry came back downstairs with his backpack, waiting for his mother to tell him that it was all a trick. When she didn't, he walked slowly toward David. The Prince wrapped his arm around his grandson and led him toward the door. Henry was trying to hold back the tears. He wanted to go with his grandfather. He was living every kid's dream: being rescued by Prince Charming himself from the claws of the Evil Queen! Except she wasn't just the Evil Queen. She was his mom and he wanted one last hug. But he didn't dare.
Regina stood on her landing facing her open front door long after David and Henry had gone. She finally willed herself to move and closed the door, leaning heavily on it and trying to calm her breathing. The tears she had been holding back where now cascading down her cheeks, leaving a burning mark on her skin. She had lost the person she loved the most. Again. She collapsed on the floor and brought her knees to her chest, encircling her legs with her arms. She rested her forehead on her knees and wept until there were no more tears to shed.
The house was plunged into darkness when she finally found the courage to move. Slowly, she walked toward her landing. She glanced at the kitchen but the mere thought of food twisted her stomach into a tight knot. She slowly climbed up the stairs.
She paused in the doorway of Henry's room. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes when she looked around the room. He hadn't taken any of the pictures of the two of them together. Regina couldn't shake the feeling that her son wasn't coming back. With finality, she closed her son's bedroom door and walked into her bathroom. Her eyes caught the sight of the brown bag sitting on the counter. After the day's event, she had completely forgotten about her earlier purchase.
Unconsciously, she placed one hand on her abdomen as she walked toward the bag. She removed its content and stared at the box for a long time. She took a deep breath as she emptied its content on the counter.
She followed the instructions and sat down on her toilet seat, staring at the stick she had carefully positioned near the sink. She waited longer than the recommended time but she couldn't bring herself to look at the result. Finally, she walked slowly toward the stick. Two bars. She gasped and placed her hand on her abdomen.
She cried tears of joy at the thought of being a mother again. She would be able to have a child of her own, a child that nobody could take away from her. A feeling of dread settled in her stomach. The father would take away her child the same way he had taken his grandson today. The thought of losing her last chance at redemption proved to be too much to handle and she dashed to the bowl just in time to empty the meager content of her stomach.
She breathed slowly, trying to regain control of her emotions. She brushed her teeth to remove the taste and looked herself in the mirror. She made the decision that she wouldn't let anyone take her child. She would leave Storybrooke and raised her kid away from this town's madness. Her heart broke at the thought of Henry. She would never be able to see him again. But if today was any indication, she wasn't sure he would want to anyway. He hadn't even spared her one last glance as he had left his childhood home.
Regina slowly went through her bedtime routine and slid under the blankets, settling into the warmth and comfort they provided. She placed her hand on her abdomen and smiled for the first time in months. Maybe she would be able to finally get her happy ending. For a long time, she had thought that her happy ending would be Snow White's head on a platter. She had cast the dark curse in the hopes that the misery of her nemesis would bring her happiness. At the beginning, she had drawn some satisfaction in the knowledge that she had separated Snow from her True Love. Her joy had been short-lived however. The woman hadn't even known who the man in a coma had been. She hadn't suffered the same way she herself had suffered after her mother had crushed her True Love's heart. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep but her mind would not let her get the rest she desperately needed. It conjured all the memories of her previous pregnancies. They had all resulted in her losing her child. She cried softly in her pillow. Maybe David wouldn't get her child after all since there may be no child. She tried to calm herself. She was in a realm with more advanced medical knowledge. Maybe she would be able to carry this child to term. But not in this town. Nobody would help her here. But in the outside world, she could start her life over and focused on what mattered the most. She drifted to sleep with the thoughts of her happiness waiting for her outside of Storybrooke.