Catalia~!
If the world was all about cats...
Someone has stolen...(dramatic pause)...the tuna.
I know, I know, a horrendous act indeed, but sadly yes. It is true. The tuna has been stolen from the cupboard in the World Mansion in which us cats reside.
Who am I, you may ask? I am...(suspenceful pause)...NIN-TABBY! Otherwise known as the ninja cat! My jet black fur enables me to blend into the shadows, and my keen green eyes allow me to see anything that moves!
But today, I am being DETECTIVE ninja cat, as I have to find out who would dare steal the tuna from my beloved cat citizens... Bleh, I sound like Americat.
Well, anyways, I decided not to work alone and went to get my friend Whitneko, a fluffy calico cat with blue eyes, to help me with this case... A case only a detective ninja cat could figure out.
"These are our main suspects~nya." I slammed down my paw in front of Whitneko while she gave me a confused stare.
I looked left and right to make sure no one else was around.
"Gatitoroma, Españan, Wang Mao, and Frafélin."
"Nya! But my sweet Españan would do no such thing! And neither would Gatitoroma, I mean he's aggitated all the time but he wouldn't steal the tuna~nya!"
"Well, suspects are suspects and those four felines were the last one in the kitchen before the tuna was stolen~nya." I said backing up my statement with legitimate evidence.
She looked like she was about to meow something else but just hung her head and weakly "Nya~" 'd as a responce.
I looked up, satisfied with winning (I always win), and led the way to go to our first suspect. Wang Mao.
"Why would I have stolen it~nyaru?" he quiried.
"Well, I would want to know why anyone would have stolen it in the first place, so I can't answer that question~nya." I replied.
"Well, I can assure you that I didn't~nyaru." he replied back.
"I really want to believe that, buddy, I really do, but I am strictly not allowed to be biased as a detective ninja cat~nya. I'm going to have to see some proof of your claim to innocence~nya" I said, quite proffesionally I might add.
He sighed and told us to follow him as he walked into the kitchen. We jumped up and landed on the countertop where in front of us on a plate was a dish made out of salmon. Not tuna.
He looked back at us and said, "I came into the kitchen in order to cook this salmon dish. I didn't touch the tuna, and yes, when I was here the tuna had not been touched~nyaru."
I looked at Whitneko. "I think he's telling the truth~nya." She replied.
I nodded. "Thank you for your cooperation, Wang Mao, I have no further questions~nya." I said to him.
He nodded and we both left to go outside.
"So, where to now, ~nya?" Whitneko asked.
I laughed quietly. "We might as well get Frafélin out of the way for your sake~nya."
Whitneko cringed. "Nyan! Do I have to come with you for this~nya?" she asked me.
"Dude, don't whine. But he's my number one suspect right now, so he better pray to the great Nyan Cat that he has evidence of his (not-so) innocence..." I trailed off while we were on our way to the rose garden, Frafélin's favorite hang-out.
"Well, look who iz here, ~nya!" Frafélin mewed as he descended from a nearby table and caught us off guard, leaving me, Whitneko, fluffed up, and Nin-Tabby bearing her claws. Frafélin, however, continued as if there was nothing wrong. "Two wonderfully beautiful, slender, and sleek kittens, come to see moi, ~nyahon? Whatever could be the pleasure?" He circled us as he meowed on and on, and even brushed up against me.
"~Nya!" I spat. "We're here to ask some questions, not be sweet talked~nya!"
"Zo you enjoy it, ~nyahon? It iz distracting to your work, ~nya? Maybe I should continue, to see how distracted I can make you both, ~nyahon." He swirled his tail around mine and smiled as he spoke, while I jumped behind Nin-Tabby with my eyes narrowed.
"Ahem," Nin-Tabby cleared her throat and looked directly at Frafélin. "You have some explainin' to do 'cause you're in some pretty deep litter right now! So stop messin' with my assistant and answer the questions!"
"Oh, mon cheri, ~nyahon, but no questions have been asked!" He winked at Nin-Tabby, then strolled around to me and licked my ear, to which I flinched. "I shall gladly answer any questions which may be asked by a couple of beautiful kittens, such as yourselves, but I'm not sure I can resist such temptation! ~Nyahon. Your coats are quite luxurious, nyo?"
My ears flattened and I muttered a meek, "~nya" in response.
"Fine then, I'll ask the questions around here!" Nin-Tabby thundered from behind us. "Where were you on the night of December 15th, huh, wisecat?"
"Ze 15th?" He paused and licked his paw, then began cleaning his face. "I believe I waz with-"
"Excuse me, but how is this-" I started, but was then interrupted.
"WRONG SIR!" Nin-Tabby yelled, pointing a paw at the blank-looking Frafélin. "Because you were busy stealing the tuna, ~nya!"
"But it's not even December 15th, ~nya!" I mewled, putting my paws to my face in an attempt to understand my friend.
"EXACTLY!" Nin-Tabby pointed her paw straight up into the air. "...I don't think this cat has an alibi strong enough to prove that he didn't steal the tuna, ~nya!"
"Tuna? Zat is what this nonsense is all about? ~Nyahon." Frafélin sneered, pointing his nose up in the air. "Non, I only eat first rate caviar, ~nyahon. Zee for yourself." He twitched his tail to the table top and urged us to jump up onto it. I watched Nin-Tabby make the jump with ease from a sitting down position, but I was much more modest and jumped onto the chair and then to the table. "Plus, I was dining with Angleneko earlier; Although I urge you to try some, ~nyahon."
Nin-Tabby gave it a curious sniff, then smiled at me. "Why don't you try some, Whitneko? It smells decent, ~nya."
"No, thank you, ~nya." I blinked as I sniffed it as well. The scent was fishy, but there seemed to be something else there... "CATNIP!"
"Wha-, ~nya?" Nin-Tabby leaned in, taking another sniff. "IT IS CATNIP!" She turned around, her eyes narrowing slyly as she set them on Frafélin. "Although we have to find 'Angleneko', as you call him, to prove your alibi, you are still in possession of catnip, which you KNOW is an illegal substance! I believe that trumps you, sir!"
"He.. Hey! You cats look nice, ~nya!" An unknown voice called from the other side of the room. "Can we be friends, ~nya? I mean really friends, ~nya?" The cat came rolling out of the rose bushes. It was an orange tabby, but there was obviously something wrong with him.
"Angleneko," Frafélin laughed nervously. "What are you doing, ~nyahon?"
"Ah, ~nya, you idiot, that caviar was ah-meow-zing~!" The orange tabby yawned and licked his lips. "Who are these pretty kittens, ~nya?"
"You're.. Angleneko?" I managed to squeak out before looking to Nin-Tabby incredulously.
"Call me Englaneko, ~nya, Frafélin can't seem to get my name right, ~nya. Pleased to meet you, ~nya..." He shook his head violently for some unapparent reason.
"These kittens wanted to know what I was doing today, and I mentioned that I ate with you, isn't that right ~nyahon?" Frafélin looked nervously to Angleneko, otherwise known as Englaneko, and was rewarded with a death glare.
"You weren't supposed to tell ANY cat that!" He spat angrily, then turned his glare to us. "But I did eat with him, ~nya. And look at me now~!" He rolled over on his back and batted at something imaginary in the air. Nin-Tabby and I looked on blankly.
"You are under arrest for the corruption of an innocent tabby and possession of illegal substances! I saw the whole thing!" Germouser yelled, bursting from the bushes. He leapt onto the table and cuffed Frafélin on the ear. "This whole thing was a sting!" He then turned to us. "Thank you, I'll handle things from here."
"But we weren't even in on it, ~nya... How could it be a sting?" I meowed in confusion.
Nin-Tabby shrugged. "Works for me,~nya! On to our next suspect!"
Our next suspect, Gatitoroma, would be a hard one to question... Very hard.
But maybe he'd be a little more cooperative with Whitneko accompanying me.
"You think I WHAT?" He yelled. No such luck.
"Well, it had to have been someone, and you were in the kitchen at the time of the incident." I calmly replied back.
"Dude, I ONLY EAT TUNA WITH TOMATOES!" He screamed.
"So?"
"SO, did you check to see if any of the tomatoes were gone?" He asked.
We didn't. I turned and looked at Whitneko.
"He really does only eat tuna with tomatoes. It's like that with any fish." I glared at her. She just laughed nervously. "Heheh, guess I should've thought of that sooner, huh?"
I just rolled my eyes at her. "Thank you for your cooperation, Gatitoroma." I said with my authority-ness.
"Whatever, ~nya..." Was his reply as he simply walked away.
"This leaves only one other suspect,~nya!" Nin-Tabby turned her green gaze on me and my ears went back as I crouched defensively, puffing my fur up a bit.
"There is no way my Españan would be a thief,~nya!" I almost hissed. I couldn't believe she seemed so certain...
"We'll never know for sure until we find him,~nya."
With some reluctance, I turned around. "Fine. He'd be at our cat house. Come along, ~nya." From nose to tail tip, contempt started to burn through my pelt. How dare she insult my Españan? However, most of the negative thoughts were dispelled when I saw my cat peep from the middle story of our cat home, along with Gatitoroma's head in the left tier of the upstairs rooms.
"Españan, just the cat we wanted to see." Nin-Tabby stated, walking up beside me. I touched noses with him, my Españan~.
"Mi amor, Nin-Tabby has the weirdest notion that you, of all the cats here, stole the tuna from the kitchen. Is that true, ~nya?" I blinked my blue eyes up at him, willing it not to be true.
"Of course not, mi gatita!" He blinked back at me in surprise. "When I was there, I simply grabbed some shrimp to make paella, ~maullido. And took some tomatoes as well."
"NO! This can't happen! We can't be out of suspects, ~nya!" Nin-Tabby cried in shock.
"Well, I told you he didn't do it ~nya." I said to her as she started pacing around in circles, silently wondering where she went wrong.
"I... I don't know what to do! I never lose! I refuse to lose!" She shouted frantically.
"Well, amiga, who all did you have as suspects?" Españan asked her as he sat down next to me.
"Um, Wang Mao, Gatitoroma, Frafelin, and...you." She replied after she stopped pacing.
"You mean, you didn't question Americat?" He asked. She froze. "I saw him going into the kitchen as I was walking out. Also, when I left I'm sure I saw the tuna in its correct place."
She stared wide-eyed at him, then at me. I shrugged. "It very well could've been him, ~nyan." I purred as I rubbed my head on Españan's shoulder.
A wide grin spread onto her face as she ran away yelling, "I haven't lost this case! I'm not gonna lose, ~nya!" Which left me to thank my dear Españan for his help and hastily run after her.
"The guilty always return to the scene of the crime, ~nya!" Nin-Tabby said sinisterly as we strode through the doors of the kitchen, her paw pointing out accusationally in front of her. "THERE!" She spotted Americat almost immediately, who was, of course, stuffing his face.
"-Munch- Wha- -munch-, -t's goin' on -munch-, ~mew?" He asked with his mouth full, looking around as he heard Nin-Tabby's loud 'there' echo throughout the room.
"You took the last of the tuna, didn't you? Now kittens everywhere are going to starve... Because of YOU." She added ominously, her eyes narrowing for effect.
"Dude -munch-, ~mew! That was so long ago! I already restocked the whole cabinet, 'cuz I'm the hero-cat! Me-ow!" He struck a pose, taking a break from stuffing his face long enough to gloat about himself.
"Are you KIDDING me, ~nya?" Nin-Tabby said incredulously, looking from me to Americat, who had then gone back to gorging himself. "I mean really? All that work... FOR NOTHING, ~nya?" She paused, twitching her whiskers in frustration. "Move OVER Americat, I want some of that chow, ~nya!" I watched as my friend practically bowled Americat out of the way. "I DESERVE this!"
"Did you technically... Win, ~nya?" I asked hesitantly, uncertain of what I was witnessing.
"Yepp. I won, ~nya. And this is my reward!" Nin-Tabby exclaimed, gulping the rest of the food down before Americat could bump her out of the way.
"Hey, that's my tuna!" Americat wailed.
"All in a day's work for... Nin-Tabby! DETECTIVE NINJA CAT!"
A/N: Disclaimer! I do not own Catalia! Or Hetalia! Axis Powers.
Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are amazing awesomeness and are almost equal to Spain's magical charm that cheers people up!
...Almost...
Fusososososo~!