"Combien ça coûte une érection?" The Honourable Stephen Harper, Prime Minister (sadly) of Canada
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A.N Sorry for turning all Inception on you and for the slight reference to Hana Kimi, a great show by the way. This chapter turned out to be a bit too long so we cut it in two parts. Do we really have to precise which part this is? Part 1 (stupid).
Thierry: Enjoy!
Thierri: Oui-oui, enjoy! Oh, Rollande is not here today...not that anybody cares.
Rollande: I am here!
Thierri: No you are not so shut up.
Thierry: Enjoy (again) and review (s'il-vous-plaît)!
Chapitre 6 - Framboise or Blind Karaoke
In a little café on the side of a small dark alley inhabited by a lady who named herself Sugar, Manager Ma, Coordi Wang, Go Mi Nam and Jeremy were sitting at a round table. Go Mi Nam was terrified of Sugar's d-cups.
"They're fake," he not-so-subtly muttered to Jeremy before crying. Just like his sister always does. It's a family thing to cry all the time. Jeremy finds it endearing.
"Jeremy," started Coordi Wang while turning towards the blond, "how did you find this place?"
"Oh, Thierry brings me here all the time! We have much pleasure. He calls it the 'Ouh la la' place."
An awkward silence settled between them. They all stared at Jeremy, wide-eyed. Even Mi Nam had stopped crying, filled with concern. Coordi Wang chose her next words carefully.
"Have you ever been touched in...weird places?" Her mind was screaming 'RAPE'!
"No. Well..."
Every one leaned over the table, anxiously waiting the rest of the response.
"He keeps touching my nose all the time. It feels kind of nice but it's really bizarre."
Mi Nam, curious, slowly approached the said weird place with his slender finger. Upon contact, Jeremy shivered.
Coordi Wang and Manager Ma weren't sure how to react but Mi Nam seemed to enjoy it as much as Jeremy. They are perfect for each other, thought the Manager. Instead of helping Mi Nam get over his phobia, I'll bring them together!
It was a plan within a plan within a master plan. It's plan-ception! A random blue toupee was wildly spinning on the table beside them.
"Moving on," said Coordi Wang weirded-out by the sight of Mi Nam poking Jeremy's nose, resulting in two blushing and horny young men. "We need to figure out your outfits for the blind dates."
"What blind dates?" stupidly asked Manager Ma (Well, he was being mentally challenged at the moment...).
"...the ones you scheduled for tonight," she slowly said to him so he would understand.
"Oh yes! So, I thought that since fake boobs are the source of Mi Nam's trauma, well, real boobs are the solution!"
At the word "boobs", Mi Nam stopped all movement and stared at the source of the noise. Jeremy was sad that the nose-poking had stopped.
"So, I'll set you on blind dates with real boobs! Well, girls that have real boobs! So rare these days..." continued the manager, oblivious. His last words were said in regret.
Tae Kyung was presently eating a nice lunch with a less-than-nice person. He was too busy blocking off the noise she was making to remember her name...not that he cared enough about her in the first place. Why did he invite her to the restaurant again? Oh yeah, to make Mi Nyu jealous. But the noise was getting really annoying. Maybe he could disarm her with his second best boy band in Korea charm.
"I've been having dreams about you."
More noise.
Oh, she didn't hear me. Maybe I should say it out loud, he thought.
"I've been having...sexy dreams about you."
The noise was brought to a stop.
"What did you say?" said Yoo He Yi.
So that's her name, the man remembered.
"Yes. You started to remove your clothes and I was aroused. Now shut up and bend over, bitch."
"What?" The girl seemed confused. Had she heard him right?
"You know what? Nevermind. You annoy me. Bye."
Tae Kyung left, leaving the girl behind. He felt no regret.
"Wait!" Yoo He Yi screamed while running after him, leaving the unpaid food on the table. She barely heard the protesting "Hey!" from the waiter as she focused all her attention on the man that had rejected her so many times before. She couldn't bare to be left alone another time.
It was then that she bumped into Tae Kyung, who had stopped running since he had bumped into Mi Nyu who was walking down the streets innocently. Seeing his sort-of-but-not-really girlfriend, Tae Kyung started to panic and grabbed Yoo He Yi's face with his hands before smacking his lips against hers. He hungrily teased her with his tongue and moaned a little in her mouth. Yoo He Yi didn't know what to do, so she responded with annoying moans of her own.
Go Mi Nyu was paralyzed with shock and betrayal. Tears slid down her face silently. Unable to see more, she ran away. She didn't want to see anybody right now, not even Shin Woo who was standing behind her.
Seconds later, an angry manager appeared and started yelling at Yoo He Yi, asking for money.
"We offered you a service, now pay up!"
Mi Nyu was running wildly. No joke. Her arms were gesticulating and she was yelling:
"The son of a bitch! I can't believe he fucking did that to me! Like, what the fuck? God, I hope they'll have tons of bastard kids together and go burn in hell while I rip off their kids heads! À la guillotine! Just like the French said!"
Then, she bumped for the second time that day into one of the band mates. This time, it was her twin brother holding hands with Jeremy. Her eyes were dark and savage. When Mi Nam plunged his eyes into hers, he only saw insanity and a lust for blood. He froze. Jeremy, oblivious, smiled at her and waved.
At the same time, Go Mi Nam was remembering the only other time that he saw his sister like this.
Flash back
An evil Mi Nyu is laughing...evilly.
End of flash back
The night of the "event", as it was called, Mi Nam learned that his sister had mental problems. No, really. She bottles up all her emotions and then a small thing can trigger it and transform her into an evil genius (because she bottles up her intelligence too).
"Jeremy don't wave your hand! You'll provoke her!"
"Eh?" the intelligent blond replied.
Jeremy started to talk to Mi Nyu but was frozen in place when Mi Nam poked his nose. It was the only to stop the idiot from making a deadly mistake. The blond shivered in delight. It was then that...the creature...realized that something was not quite right.
"Why are you guys holding hands?" it said in a deep voice.
Not at all disturbed by the new and improved Mi Nyu, Jeremy explained.
Flash back
The two boys are in a café. This time the place is clean and not Thierry recommended, to the disappointment of Jeremy and relief of every body else (Mi Nam). Go Mi Nam was dressed nicely, he had even washed his hair for the day; it was quite the event. He was ready to cure himself of his breast-phobia and meet some blind girls. It was a blind date after all, had repeated the Manager. But he chickened out at the last minute and Jeremy was given the task to watch over the wimp. So the two young men were ready to meet the first girl.
"Hi!" said a shy voice behind them. "Are you Mi Nam? I thought there was only one of you."
"You're not blind?" stupidly asked Go Mi Nam while taking notice of her very normal and real breasts.
"What?" she replied.
"What?"
"Quoi?" This last reply had come from Jeremy, who was very happy to show off his vast knowledge of French.
The nervous girl then raised her arm, trying to fix her flawless long blond hair. The pair of horny boys were not as horny when they saw the long blond curls coming from the girl's arm pits. 'Are they supposed to have hair there?' wondered the pair.
They quickly dismissed her. An hour later, they were ready for the second date. By that time, Jeremy had time to explain to Mi Nam that the dates weren't blind. The next date was a normal looking girl. Shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes, and an average height. The only abnormal thing about her was her huge boobs. Mi Nam had the feeling that they would soon pop in his face. However, the size was not the only thing abnormal about the date's breasts. They were uneven and bumpy.
"Inflatable bra!" accused Mi Nam, scared shitless.
Humiliated, the girl ran away sobbing. However, the sound of her crying was covered by Mi Nam's panicked sobs. Jeremy was all too happy to pet his friend's hair to calm him.
The next date arrived by surprise. Neither one of the boys saw her coming. She calmly saluted them, her eyes focusing on Mi Nam. She slowly bent over the table to stick her face in his. It was then that the focus of her attention finally saw her and freaked.
"Ah! You are that she-male! The slut from Québec!" screamed the traumatized boy.
"What are you talking about?" The girl seemed confused. "Oh! Did you meet my twin brother? He's really nice and friendly."
The two boys looked at each other, speaking with their minds. They agreed that the blind dating was a really bad idea and planned their next action.
"Nevermind! We're gay!" they both exclaimed while jumping in each others' arms. Jeremy passionately kissed his fake boyfriend...on the cheek.
End of Flash back
"So, no homo!" concluded the twin brother.
The trio was then attacked by flashes of light and clicking noises. The paparazzi was there! Reporter Kim was yelling something about Jeremy and Mi Nam; something about knowing all along. They ran away; the boys still holding hands and Mi Nyu shouting random things about 'MASAO'.
End of part 1