Thank you all for following this story (100 followers), favoriting it and leaving comments. And thank you to my beta for making sure everything was consistent. Just to reassure everyone, she had forbidden me to kill Regina in any of my stories.

Chapter 21: Safe

May 4th 2013

"The woman you destroyed could not. The woman Leopold created can." Regina squeezed her mother's heart until it was reduced to dust.

The events occuring after being released from Cora's grasp were just a blur for the Prince as he was trying to breathe through his burning windpipe. He vaguely remembered the conversation between Regina and her mother. As soon as he heard Regina's pained wails, he forgot about his own discomfort and scrambled over to where she was sitting near the back wall, his memories of the past few minutes finally falling into place. He wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest. "Shh… you're ok. You saved all of us."

David started rocking them but to no avail. Her cries and sobs were coming in rapid succession and Regina had started to hyperventilate. In the distance, he vaguely heard Henry's screams as Emma and Neal were trying to calm the traumatized boy. David spared a quick glance at his family. Satisfied that Henry was being cared for, he turned his attention back to the woman screaming in his arms. She was trying to free herself from his embrace. She was murmuring in-between ragged breaths but David could only catch a few words. His heart sank when he realized she was asking him to leave her, to leave the monster she had always been. David tightened his embrace around Regina and whispered in her ear. "I'm not leaving you… You're not a monster... I love you." He kept repeating his mantra but Regina would not calm down.

The distressed screams from the woman he now called a friend woke Archie from the trance he had found himself in since the trio had appeared in the diner. He rushed to her side, helping the Prince with the struggling woman. "Regina?" Archie gently rubbed her arm, trying to find his next words. But no words made it past his lips. 'I'm sorry' could not possibly cover the grief she must be feeling. Regina had been forced to kill her own mother and no one should have to be put in this situation.

Archie's medical "training" eventually took over. Regina's breathing was out of control and they needed to calm her. Archie looked at the Prince; they had done this once before and the psychiatrist hoped David remembered what to do. He softly talked to his patient. "Regina, breathe in…. 1... 2… 3... 4… 5… 6… 7, out...1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9… 10… 11." Archie repeatedly counted, hoping that Regina would follow his instructions as David whispered words of encouragement and reassurance into her ear. After a few minutes without any tangible results, Archie grabbed David's arm. "Have you kept your room here?" David nodded, watching helplessly as Regina's breathing became more erratic. "Let's get her upstairs in a quieter environment."

David nodded and stood up with Regina in his arms, starting toward his upstairs bedroom. Henry cried after his mother but Archie was quick to calm the boy. "Henry, listen to me." His tone was harsher than he had intended but it got Henry's attention. "Right now the best way you can help your mom is by staying here and helping take care of Cora." Archie pointed toward the lifeless form of the sorceress on the floor. "Can you do that?"

Henry's eyes were rapidly filling with tears but he nodded. He wanted to see his mother but after everything he had said to her, he understood if she never wanted him again. He buried his face into Emma's shoulder and cried. "She hates me."

Archie's demeanor softened. He had not meant to be so harsh toward Henry although the boy had been particularly cruel and judgmental. Archie had thought that his issues with Regina had been resolved in the months he had spent with her and David. But today Henry had proven to his mother that he could not believe she had changed. Although Regina had redeemed herself for her boy, he did not accept it.

Archie closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. Regina had to deal with so much grief and Archie just hoped that the woman was not completely broken. He tried to control his anger toward Henry. Without fully realizing it, Henry was partly responsible for Regina's anguish. However, Archie had no right to blame the eleven-year old boy. The people in the diner had judged Regina the same way the boy had. He himself had truly believed Regina had allied herself with her mother. It was unfair to condemn Henry without doing the same to everyone in the room, himself included. Archie shook his head. There was so much pain to heal but first, he had to make sure that Regina was taken care of.

Archie reached for Henry. "Henry, she doesn't hate you. She never will." The boy quieted. "But what you said to her deeply hurt her, Henry. I know you didn't mean to. But sometimes words can hurt as much as a sword."

The tears fell down the boy's cheeks. Henry was ashamed of the way he had treated his mother. She had tried so hard to be good for him and he had not given her a chance. "She can't forgive me."

Archie smiled softly at Henry. "She will, Henry. She will forgive you because she loves you very much. In the same way that you forgave her because you love her too." As Henry slowly nodded, Archie continued. "What did Regina do when you were hurt?"

Henry sniffled. "She let me go... She let me go with David."

Archie nodded. "Regina understood you needed some space. She gave that to you and she showed you how much she loved you… by not using her magic."

Henry understood. He understood he needed to give his mother some time to cry. After he had left the mansion with David, he had cried for days. He had cried for the loss of Snow and Emma but he had also cried his anger. He had been angry at Regina for lying to him and making him believe he was crazy. That left the second part of Archie's explanation. "What can I do to show her I love her?" His voice was small, hesitant.

Archie gave the boy a soft smile. "What do you think your mother would want?"

Henry turned toward Emma. "She would want us to take care of her mother." Emma smiled, proud of her son. After she had come to Storybrooke, she had regretted her decision to put Henry up for adoption. But Regina had done an incredible job raising Henry into the kind-hearted boy she had just met a year ago.

Archie nodded as Mr. Gold approached the boy. After Regina had saved his son's and girlfriend's lives, the least he could do was helping her family. He kneeled besides Henry. "I'll cast a protection spell around Cora. And then we'll make sure she is safe for your mother to be able to say goodbye."

Henry hesitated. He did not want to leave his mother at the diner. Granny walked slowly toward the boy. Although Regina's magic had broken her fall, she was still stiff. "Henry, Red and I will make sure she has everything she needs."

Archie was grateful for the old woman. As much as Henry had wronged his mother today, nothing would be gained by blaming the boy. He and Regina would get a chance to heal, but Archie needed to make sure of that. He stood and squeezed Henry's shoulder one last time before heading toward the staircase.

EC

Archie did not have to look for David's room as Regina's pained wails could be heard from the end of the corridor. The psychiatrist found the couple on the bed. David was sitting against the headboard, with Regina lying in-between his thighs, her head resting on his chest. His left leg was raised, supporting her back. David was holding onto Regina tightly, murmuring calming nonsense into her ear.

Archie sat on the bed besides Regina. Her breathing was completely out of control, only increasing her panic. They had to break the vicious circle: the more Regina hyperventilated, the more panicked she became and the harder she was trying to breathe. Archie took her hand. "Regina? We're here to help you…" Regina's eyes were wide in fear. Archie would give her another chance to calm down but if this continued much longer, he would need Dr. Whale to sedate her. "We've done this before. Just follow me…" And Archie started counting again. David kissed the top of her head. "You're safe here with us…. everything is going to be ok… you're not alone."

Regina concentrated on Archie's instructions and after ten long minutes, she was finally able to breathe normally. David was rubbing her back soothingly. "You're doing great, sweetheart…."

After a few more minutes, Regina finally spoke. "I killed my own mother. I'm a monster."

Archie kneeled down on the floor besides the bed so she could see the truthfulness of his statement. "She did not give you a choice, Regina. You saved all of us and we did nothing to help you." Archie rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "I'm sorry, Regina. I'm sorry you had to be the one to stop her."

"I could have stopped her without killing her!" The tears were flowing again.

Archie squeezed her hand. "You did everything you could. You're NOT the one to blame here."

Regina was not listening to him. She tried to break from David's embrace. "Let me go! I don't deserve you… I don't deserve your love…. you should leave… I kill everyone I love." Regina was crying by now and Archie was afraid the sobbing would send her into another episode of hyperventilation. He looked up at the Prince, begging him to say the right words, whatever those might be.

David turned to face Archie. "Can you get her a cup of tea?"

Archie nodded. Regina would probably never drink the tea but Archie was intruding on a very intimate moment between the couple. "I'll see what Granny keeps these days." He smiled before leaving the Queen and her Prince alone.

David waited a minute after Archie had left to speak again. "I won't let you push me away now, Regina. Not while you're grieving…." He waited for her reaction but she stayed still. "I told you I would always give you a choice and I will. But first I want to make sure it's you asking me to leave and not your fears or grief or your misplaced sense of self-sacrifice." She groaned, trying to protest but David stopped her. "You deserve to be loved and you deserve to love, Regina. And I will remind you of this everyday if I have to. I'm not going anywhere."

Regina tried to free herself once more. "And I can't live with the knowledge that everyday you spend with me might be your last."

David released his grip on her. He could not force her to stay with him; the only thing he could do was reassure her. He was surprised when Regina did not move from her current position. David gently wrapped his arms around her again, in a comforting rather than restraining gesture. "I can't promise you that I will be with you forever. No one can do that. But I promise you that I love you and I want to spend as much time as I can with you. I will love you every day we spend together. I will care for you and I will protect you."

"I can't lose you. I can't lose someone else. You can't protect me from losing you." Regina fisted his shirt. Her words were willing him to leave but her actions told him to stay.

David swallowed hard. Regina had lost so much in the past four months; it was a miracle she had not completely broken down. "Regina, I know you're scared to love again." He kissed her temple gently. "I know you're scared because love comes with the possibility of getting hurt. And I know you've been hurt more times than anyone should in their lifetimes." He felt her nod against his chest. "I'm asking you to trust one more time, Regina…. to take one last chance. Can you do that?" He placed two fingers under her chin and turned her head up so she could face him.

Regina let out a choked sob and finally nodded. "I don't know."

David placed his forehead against hers. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm going to lose you."

David kissed the tip of her nose. "Regina, please, let me in. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Regina nuzzled against him. She wanted the promise of love he represented but she was too afraid to allow herself to accept it. "I destroy the ones I love."

"There is more to it."

"You will leave me."

"I won't, Regina. Unless you want me too." He was not sure how to convey his certitude to her. David saw a bright future ahead of them, one filled with love and happiness. But all Regina could see was her dark past and its tendency to repeat itself. He understood her fears but he did not know how they could get past them.

"You will leave me once you know everything." Regina buried her face in the crook of his neck. David just held her, waiting for her to continue. "Once you know my past. Once you know all the darkness in my heart."

"I've seen your heart, Regina. And the only thing I want is to protect it from the darkness. I won't hurt you."

"I know. But you can't take the darkness away. Nobody can. I have killed thousands, David. Nothing can erase what I've done..."

"I know your past, Regina. And I know it's a part of you. I love you, all of you."

"... and what has been done to me."

David stayed silent. He only knew bits and pieces of her past before she became the Evil Queen. Most of what he knew, he had learned from others. Regina had never confided in him; it was a hard subject for her, one that she had always refused to broach.

Regina took a deep breath, knowing that after tonight she would be alone once again. But David deserved the truth from her. So she told him everything: she told David about her mother, about her father, about Rumple, and finally about Leopold.

David tried to hold back his tears and anger as he listened to Regina. How could they have all been so cruel? Once she finished, he stayed quiet for a long time trying to sort through his own emotions. But he never let go of her.

Regina breathed out in relief. David was still holding her. He now knew everything about her dark past but he had not run away. She gave him a few more minutes before speaking again. "Are you sure that's who you want?"

David's mind was still too muddled to fully process her question. So he responded with the only certitude he had at the moment. "I love you."

EC

They had stayed quiet for the past hour. "David?"

"Hmmm?" The Prince was surprised to hear her voice. He had thought she had been sound asleep.

"Are you sure?"

David moved around on the bed so he could face her. "I love you. I'm not going anywhere."

Regina blushed. "I may… I may never be able to let you touch me…. not in the way you want."

David gently kissed her lips. "I can't… I can't even imagine what you've been through… But I know… I think I understand how afraid you are. I wish I could take it away…" He smiled as Regina gently cupped his face, stroking his cheek with her thumb. "... but being intimate… it's more than just sex… I want to touch you…. because I want to make you feel good. I want you to know that you're precious to me. I don't know how yet… but we'll be intimate. Maybe not the way most people are… but we'll find our own ways." He gently took her hand and placed it over his heart.

Regina smiled as she remembered the feeling that came with David holding her heart. She wanted to let herself hope for the future.

This time, David was the first to break the silence. "Can I ask you a question?" Regina nodded. "About Graham?"

Her expression became more somber. "You want to know if I killed him?" She did not wait for David's reply. "Yes. I did."

She moved away from David but the Prince wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back to him. "No. I wanted to know… if he had been gentle with you."

Regina sighed. "I never slept with him. I never slept with anyone after Leopold." The look of confusion on David's face prompted her to continue. "I took their hearts. I made them believe they had spent the most unbelievable nights in my bedchambers. It kept potential suitors at bay. Once in Storybrooke, I only had access to Graham's heart. So… so I used it." Regina swallowed. "You're… you're the only one."

David tucked her hair behind her ear. "Did … did I hurt you?"

Regina shook her head. "No… not really. I just… I just couldn't enjoy it."

David leaned in and kissed her deeply. Once they parted, Regina smiled against his lips. "Your kisses…. those, I like."

He smiled before kissing her one more time.

ECECEC

April 19th 2013

Archie was listening to Regina distractedly. She had spent the last fifteen minutes talking about the time she had spent with Henry and David this week but had avoided his original question. He let her talk for another five minutes. The psychiatrist was happy for her. She had finally found some balance in her life. However, Archie was concerned that unless both Regina and David faced their own feelings for each other, the relationship will end in disaster. And considering everything Regina had recently been through, Archie was not sure the woman would be able to survive another loss.

Finally, he interrupted her. "Regina?" The woman turned her head toward him. "I did not ask you what you did with David and Henry this week. I want to know how you feel about it."

Regina sighed. She hated these types of questions. But she had agreed early on that she would allow Archie to ask them, provided that she was not forced to answer them. As much as she disliked sharing her most intimate feelings with the doctor, she must admit that it had helped her deal with her pain. "I'm happy that Henry is somewhat in my life." She took her deep breath. "But I'm also disappointed. He hasn't told me he wanted to come home yet."

"Have you asked him?" Regina shook her head. "Why not?" He already knew the answer to this particular question but he needed her to acknowledge her fears.

Regina groaned but answered him. "Because I'm afraid he'll say no." She was fidgeting on the couch. She ran her sweaty palms over her the sides of her skirt before continuing. "I don't think I can take another rejection."

Archie nodded at her. "Would it help if we all talked here?"

Regina shook her head. "Henry… He… I don't think he'll want to come here… especially with me…. not after…. not after I made him believe he was crazy."

Archie took a few notes on his pad. He needed to talk to David about Henry. He could not shake the feeling that Henry wanted to go home but David was waiting for him to take the first step toward his mother. Although Archie understood the Prince's motivations, he also wanted to move things along with Regina. The wait was clearly eating her up. "Have you asked him if he wanted to spend the night?"

Regina shook her head. "No… he… he is still having nightmares… but…"

Archie waited for a few moments before prompting her. "But?"

Regina breathed deeply. "But after that night…. when he allowed me to hold him…. he never asked again."

Archie forced a light laugh. "He is a eleven-year-old boy, Regina. He's probably being teased by boys at school for wanting his mother." Regina looked unconvinced. She was playing with her fingers, averting his eyes. This was her sign that the conversation was closed so Archie changed the subject. "What about David?"

Her head snapped and she blushed a deep shade of red. "What about him?"

Archie kept his expression neutral. "What are your feelings toward David?" He tried to ask the question innocently, letting Regina decide whether he was asking her about a friendship or something more.

"There is nothing between us. We're just co-parenting Henry."

"You spend a lot of time with a man you have no feelings towards."

"It doesn't matter anyway. He is married."

Archie leaned forward in his armchair. "I never said the feelings had to be romantic."

Regina blushed; Archie had caught her red-handed. "We're friends."

Archie pushed her further. "Regina, when I mention your relationship with the man, you directly jump to romantic feelings. You and I both know David and you are more than friends."

Regina stood abruptly, grabbing her bag. "It doesn't matter. David is married. To Snow."

Archie reached for her arm. "Regina, please sit down. We need to talk about your feelings."

"No. We don't. Why are you so interested in my feelings anyway?"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt."

Regina chuckled. "I'm fine. We're fine."

"Regina, please. Sit down. You're not fine. You're in love with a man who is married to the woman you agreed to bring back in his life!"

"And you think I'm stalling?" The accusation shocked her.

Archie closed his eyes and shook his head. "No. I don't. But I also know it's tearing you apart."

Regina collapsed on the couch as Archie sat on the coffee table. "It doesn't matter, Archie. Even…. even IF I had feelings for David, he wouldn't share them. Nothing can or will happen."

"Even IF that were true Regina, the feelings are real. And you need to acknowledge them." She nodded once, her eyes still not meeting his. "And you need to talk to David."

Her head snapped back to him. "Absolutely not!"

"What are you afraid of? You already know he is married. You're already sure that he will turn you down. What do you have to lose?"

"His friendship." It was a lie. She would lose his friendship in a few weeks anyway, as soon as she would start showing.

Archie shook his head. "You can lie to yourself, Regina. But you agreed you wouldn't lie to me."

"What do you want me to say, Archie?" Tears had sprung at the corners of her eyes. "That I'm in love with him. That I'm attracted to him? It doesn't matter… none of it. He doesn't feel the same way!"

"How can you be so sure?"

"He is married to his One True Love!"

"Regina, the man has spent the last three months trying to repair your relationship with your son. He had spent time with you, trying to help you! A month ago when you broke down in my office, you asked me to call him! And he came, Regina… he came to take care of you!"

"We're friends. That's it. There is nothing more! There can't be anything more!" Regina was screaming at Archie now.

"I know you're afraid of rejection. But you won't be able to be happy unless you take a chance. And David is a very small chance to take. He shares your feelings, Regina."

"NO!"

Archie was taken aback by the forcefulness of her answer. Regina was shaking and he suspected that it was not only in anger. "Regina, what are you so afraid of?"

She placed her face in her hands. "For him to say that he wants me."

Archie frowned at her answer. It did not make any sense. The woman had killed thousands and cast the darkest curse in the name of her lost love. But when love showed up at her front door, she would turn it away. "Regina?"

Regina started rocking herself. "I… I can't be involved with anyone… I can't let anyone touch me." Her voice cracked slightly.

Archie took her hand and gave it a light squeezed. "Regina, please. What are you so afraid of?"

"Leopold." The name came out in a sob. Although Archie had a multitude of questions, he held his tongue. He could not push her further. Regina had to decide how much she was willing to share on her own terms. The woman hugged herself tightly and fixed a point on the rug before starting her story.

Archie had to keep the nausea at bay as Regina described her wedding night. He could not imagine how scared she must have been. He slid on the couch besides her and held her tightly against him. Regina sobbed before continuing with her story. "The second time he came to me was right after our wedding night. He was apologetic and he tried to make the experience pleasurable for me. But… but the images of how he raped me the night before kept playing in my mind and I couldn't relax. It hurt… it hurt so much." Regina let out a choked sob. "But he kept coming to me. After a while, he had all but given up on trying to make it as painless as possible. He was growing frustrated and he would just pound harshly into me."

Regina took a steadying breath. "On my first day of that time of the month, I used to lit a candle and cry. I cried because I had failed again and I would be marched into the King's chambers as soon as I was done bleeding. After a few months, my heart had hardened to the point where I just wanted both of them dead. On the days I was strong enough to get out of bed, I would meet with Rumple and learn my craft."

Regina had stopped crying. Her tone was detached as if she was relating events that had not happened to her. "I miscarried. Several times. Once I managed to carry into my fourth month... but I went into labor. Sixteen hours. The baby was dead."

Regina placed her hand over her abdomen. "Leopold kept trying. Until Snow was about to turn sixteen."

Archie rubbed her arm. "And of marital age."

Regina nodded. "But Snow had other ideas in mind. She wanted to marry for love and Leopold didn't want to have to promise her to a prince…. so …. so he started calling on me multiple times a day. Our couplings were hard and painful… I could barely walk after he was done. But he kept trying."

Regina's voice broke as she neared the end of her tale. "I was brought to him one night after he had just returned from a visit to George's Kingdom. Leopold had been careless in the management of the Kingdom and we were on the verge of bankruptcy."

Archie frowned. He did not remember hearing about the Kingdom's troubles back then. Regina continued. "Leopold had no choice but to offer Snow's hand in marriage to Prince James." Regina snorted at the irony of the situation. "He was angry at me. For not providing him with a son."

Regina fisted Archie's sweater. "He grabbed me and forced me to bend over on the bed. He…. he was pounding inside me with all his weight. I screamed but no one came to help me…. I… I miscarried a few days later."

Regina sobbed. "It was the last time Leopold touched me. Jonas told him that I would never be able to carry a child to term. The damage to my cervix is so severe that I will never be able to carry past the second trimester." Regina bursted into tears once more. "He has taken everything away from me. And I can't…. I won't let anyone use my body!"

Archie tried to calm Regina down but his actions were having the opposite effect. Regina was on the verge of hysteria and Archie did not wait for her to tell him to call David.

EC

The Prince arrived ten minutes later and by then, Regina was hyperventilating. Archie had laid her down on the couch and he was trying to get her to breathe while reassuring her at the same time. David rushed to Regina's side and gently stroke her cheek. "What happened?"

"You need to help me. We need to get her to breathe normally. Just…. just talk to her. Try to reassure her." Archie scooted over so David could sit on the floor near Regina's head.

David leaned down and kissed Regina's forehead. "You're ok…. Archie is here to help you." He stroke her forehead and her hair slowly.

Archie took her hand. "Regina? Just listen to my voice and try to breathe slowly. In… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7... Out... 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7... 8… 9… 10... 11…In… 1… 2..."

Archie kept counting while David spoke to her soothingly. "Just keep listening to Archie, beautiful… that's it… slow, deep breaths…. you're doing great, Regina…. just breathe slowly… everything is going to be alright…. you're safe here… I'm right here with you… no one will hurt you… just keep breathing slowly… you're doing fantastic."

Archie closed his eyes. He was angry. Angry at what the King had done to a child. Regina would never be able to enjoy the feeling of falling in love. She would never allow herself to. His heart broke as he watched the Prince talking to her soothingly. Her happy ending was right in front of her but she was too afraid to take it.

After a few minutes, Regina's breathing evened out. Her eyes were closing despite her best efforts, the emotional drain from telling her story taking its toll. David took his leather jacket off and wrapped it around the sleeping Queen.

David turned toward Archie, anger written over his features. "What did you do?"

"We talked."

"About what?"

"You know I can't tell you."

David groaned. "Whatever it was, I hope it was worth this."

Archie nodded. "I'm just not sure how I can help her."

David looked at the man incredulously. "Maybe you should have thought of that before pushing her!"

Archie shook his head. "It's not that simple." He had not been prepared for what he had heard today. He knew Regina's past had been dark but he had never imagined the horrors she had endured. "She can't be alone. Not tonight."

"She won't be. I'll take her back to the loft. I'm sure spending some time with Henry will help her."

"And with you." David frowned and Archie continued. "I wasn't able to calm her. But once you were besides her, she quieted."

"Archie, what are you trying to say?"

"You already know."

Entering the final chapters... remember this story will continue so not everything will be resolved/answered by the end of this fic. But if you are desperate to see something, leave a review and I'll try to work it in in the next few ones if I haven't already done so.