Remus stood looking at his reflection in the full length mirror. He brushed a piece of lint off of his sleeve and straightened his tie for the tenth time, before resuming pacing back and forth.
He watched his shoes as he walked back and forth. They were shined perfectly; he could almost see his reflection in them. A very pale reflection. He twitched the hem of his black dress robes slightly, so they covered up his shoe.
He coughed slightly, trying to rid himself of the nervous feeling he had settling itself down inside his stomach. His mind was reeling with the decision he was making.
He was sitting in Bill's old room in the Burrow. Wearing dress robes, dress shoes, a tie, and his hair was combed down neatly, thanks to Molly.
Married. He was going to be married in less than a half an hour. To someone so young, with so much to lose. He was terrified that she was going to get hurt somehow.
She was tough, he knew that. She was an Auror for god's sake. She could take care of herself if she needed to. But all the same…
He'd try to protect her as much as he could from his Werewolf form. He'd take Wolfsbane potion every cycle, no matter how much he'd have to pay or where he'd have to go to get his hands on some. He wouldn't ever put her in that danger.
Emotionally, though. He was terrified of how she'd react. How she'd respond to having a husband that turned into a monster every month. What would she say if she ever saw him in his werewolf form? Of course, he'd never let that happen. Still, though. What would she do?
And then there was the fact that she would be a werewolf's wife. People were always shying away and discriminating against him. By marrying her, he'd be putting her in that exact same position as well. He didn't want to subject her to the ruthless tormenting and the sneers he received each and every day.
He could never have a child with her, either. He could never father a child, ever. It would be like him, he was sure of it. He'd give her a child just like him, another monster running around. He couldn't put the burden he carried off onto another person, especially an innocent child.
There was so little he could give her. No money, no steady job, he couldn't give her a family. All of that, with the addition of insults being hurled at her all over the place. He couldn't do this. He couldn't go through with it. He'd have to cancel this wedding.
He was at the point of stepping out of the room to find somebody, anybody, and make sure this didn't happen. He couldn't allow her to waste her life on him. A scarred, broken, monster of an old man like himself. He loved her too much to let her do that.
He did love her. Oh, god, did he love her. He knew she loved him right back, just as deeply. She'd told him time and time again, when they were alone, in front of a room full of people. Over and over. 'I don't care. I want you. I love you.
His hand froze, inches from the doorknob. He sighed and moved back to the mirror, looking at himself again. Looking at the scars on his face, his hands, and his sandy hair with so much grey in it.
The internal battle he was having with himself was raging full force inside his head. It felt like all of the Death Eaters and the members of the Order were suddenly running around in his skull, casting curses at each other and screaming.
The door in the corner of the room opened with a soft creak, and a head of balding red hair popped in. "Remus? Are you ready?" Arthur asked.
Remus groaned and went to sit down on the bed, putting his hands over his face. "I don't think I can do this, Arthur," he said, his voice muffled.
"Nonsense," Arthur replied, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. He came and sat down next to Remus, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I just… I can't do this to her," Remus whispered, looking up at him.
"Do what? Have her marry the man she's in love with?" Arthur asked wisely.
"No!" Remus shouted, shooting up and beginning to pace around the room again. "Have her marry a dangerous man! One that will bring her nothing but unhappiness, ridicule, and pain!"
"Remus! Listen to me! That's enough!" Arthur said, getting up and stopping his frantic pacing by putting his hands on his shoulders forcefully. "She loves you, and that's all that matters. She knows what she's doing. She's a strong woman, she can handle herself!"
"But," Remus started to object, though Arthur wouldn't let him get a word in.
"Let me ask you this. Does she love you?" he asked.
"Well, yes, but-" Remus tried, before he was cut off.
"And do you love her?" Arthur asked him firmly.
Remus shifted his gaze a bit, before mumbling, "Of course I do. I love her so much."
"Then there you go! You don't need any other reasons to or to not! You both love each other, and that's what matters!"
Remus's mind floated back to the time he'd spent with her in the past weeks. They hadn't officially been together for very long, but it was the happiest he'd been in quite a while. He smiled a little bit, and so did Arthur.
"See? There you go. You're realizing exactly what you've got waiting for you out there," Arthur stated smugly.
"She is amazing," Remus said quietly.
"She definitely is. Now hurry up, or you'll be late to your own wedding!" Arthur said, walking out of the room.
Remus took one more look in the mirror at himself. The grin on his face made him smile even wider. He now looked much younger, and much better. He gave a last smile before he followed his friend downstairs.
It was going to be a very small wedding, he knew. The Burrow couldn't hold too many people, and besides, in less than a week, it was going to be stuffed to beyond capacity for Bill's wedding. For now, just the Weasleys plus Fleur, her parents, and Hermione were here. And Hagrid. He'd shown up that morning, saying he wouldn't miss it for the world.
Remus walked up to the altar, where Kingsley would be marrying them shortly, and looked out to the few people there. They'd all dressed up as well, even though he'd told them they didn't have to. The females were all beaming at him as he stood there fidgeting. Hagrid sat in the back, handkerchief peeking out of his pocket. Bill came up and stood by him, as he'd asked him to be his best man.
"How are you?" Bill asked, and Remus took a deep breath.
"Nervous," he admitted. "Just think, in a few days, this will be you."
"I know," Bill said, looking over at Fleur, who gave him a wave from where she was seated between George and Hermione.
Kingsley came up to them then, wearing white and gold robes. "Are you set, Remus?" he asked in his calm, deep voice. Remus almost felt a little bit calmer at that, somehow.
"I… I think so," he said. Kingsley nodded to Hermione, who got up and left the room.
Remus stared at the doorway where he knew she'd appear momentarily. His soon to be wife. Just the thought of that made his heart feel like it was doing backflips in his chest.
Molly caught his eye and gave him a smile, and he returned it nervously. The Twins were both looking excited, as was Ron. His new mother in law looked like she was about to cry, a watery smile of her face and a tissue clamped tightly in her hand. Arthur sat down in one of the chairs and nodded at him.
Suddenly, Hermione came hurrying back and resumed her seat next to Ron. Just a few seconds later, some music began to play, echoing through the house.
His breath hitched as she walked in. Her hair, the favorite bubble gum pink, was grown out long, so that there were curls falling softly around her shoulders. Her eyes were a light brown today, and he noticed that they were roughly the same color as his. She was smiling widely, and her face lit up when she saw him.
"Wow," he whispered, now amazed that he'd ever debated not marrying her. Her father was on her arm, and Ginny followed behind her, acting as her bridesmaid and carrying the train of her white dress. It had lace that covered her shoulders and crept down her arms, sparkling in the light.
She made it up to them and her father kissed her on the cheek before going and sitting down. The bouquet of pink roses, which matched her hair, was taken by Hermione, who supplied Ginny with one of her own once the train of the dress was set.
As the love of his life looked up into his eyes, Remus swore he felt his heart melt at her sheer beauty. He marveled again, how could he have debated doing this?
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, and she smiled.
"You're not so bad yourself," she countered. "Very handsome."
He had to stop himself from kissing her right that second.
The ceremony seemed to go by in a blur, he lost parts of it while he had his eyes trained on her. He realized that he wasn't the slightest bit nervous anymore.
He stumbled through repeating Kingsley's words, and when it was her turn, she said them with complete confidence.
When it came time to put the ring on her finger, his own fingers shook as he picked it up and slipped it on. She beamed at it for a few seconds, before she picked up his, showing off her famous clumsiness as she promptly dropped it. It rolled underneath the chairs that had been set up, and everyone chuckled as Fred ran up to them and gave it back to her. She graciously accepted it and slipped it on his left ring finger.
"Remus Lupin, do you take Nymphadora Tonks, who prefers to be known by her surname only," Kingsley said, as she sent him a look. She smiled as he added the last part and he continued, "To be your lawfully wedded wife?"
A wide grin spread out on his face as he said, "I most definitely do." She crinkled her nose up a little as she laughed.
"And Nymphadora Tonks, who still likes her last name better, do you take Remus Lupin to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"Absolutely, I do," she said happily.
"Well then. I now pronounce you man and wife," Kingsley said. "What are you waiting for, Remus? Kiss your bride!"
"I thought you'd never say that," Remus murmured, before he finally kissed his wife. He wrapped his arms around her and dipped her, and he felt her laugh.
A storm of clapping broke out from the small audience, and he heard a few wolf whistles from the Twins. He stood her back up and they clasped hands, grinning out at everyone. The girls all had watery smiles now, and Hagrid had pulled out his handkerchief. Arthur was giving him an approving smile.
They walked down the makeshift aisle, everyone still clapping and cheering until they gained the privacy of stepping into the Burrow's kitchen.
"Hello, Husband," Tonks said, turning and looking at him.
"Hello, Wife," he replied. They smiled at each other before they kissed again.
"Molly has arranged us a dinner," Tonks said, after they broke apart. "Then we can go back to our place and celebrate… alone."
She smiled a sort of devilish and flirty smile up at him. He still couldn't fathom that he'd almost stopped this from happening.
"I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do," he said, hands on her hips.
"Oh, and I got us a little something special for our… celebration," she said, walking over to the fridge. She opened it and produced… a bottle of chocolate sauce. His heart skipped a beat and his mouth dropped open as she winked at him. He groaned a little as she put it back.
"I love you so much," he said finally, kissing her again.
"I know," she said simply, grabbing his hand and leading him back into the others. Though, for the rest of the night, his mind remained on his beautiful wife, and the bottle of chocolate sauce resting in the fridge.