"Hey Jake," Finn arrived home, conflicted.
"Sup Bro?" Jake greeted him, "You alright bro?"
"I need some advice, man. Lady advice."
"Marceline?" Jake ventured nervously.
"Yeah. Marceline," he confirmed.
"Man, I was just messing with you before. For real?"
Finn nodded, dumped his backpack on the floor and collapsed on the couch.
"So, what happened?" Jake sat besides him.
"Marceline was talking about how her friends were jerks and junk and then asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend."
"Whoah."
"I know! I never thought about her that way."
"So. Did you say yes?"
"I said 'I dunno'."
"Ooo. Bad move, brother," Jake winced.
"Huh?"
"Man, if a lady asks you if you want to become an item, its a yes or no question. And any answer other than 'yes' is 'no'," Jake explained.
Finn simply gave him a confused look.
"Look, you either like somebody, I mean, like-like, or you don't. There's nothing to think about. The fact that you have to think about it means you don't."
"Huh," Finn let the thought wash over him. "That actually makes a lot of sense."
"Well of course Finn, I know all about ladies."
"I dunno Jake, sometimes your advice is kind of wack."
"Yeah," Jake laughed, "I'm not even listening to what I say half the time. But I don't joke around about the ladies."
"So... what do I do? I don't want stuff to be all weird," Finn asked.
Jake's expression turned serious. "Look: you really like Princess Bubblegum. But she doesn't want to date you. Marceline apparently likes you, and wants to date you. If you date her, do it because you like-like her, not because you can't get with Princess Bubblegum."
Finn looked at him.
"Seriously dude. It'd be super-wrong."
"Glob, lady time is complicated," Finn held his head in his hands.
"Lady Time IS complicated," Jake reassured him.