Not Ready to Lose You Chapter 2
A/N: Okay so I was thinking about writing a sequel, but then I got a review from one of my wonderful readers that suggested something that appealed to me so much more. So thanks to that brilliant reader, I am going to turn this into a multi-chapter fic. How many chapters will be in this story? I have no clue, but don't worry I won't stop until the team catches the person who shot Reid. At least that's the goal. Anyways let me stop rambling so that you can get on to chapter two of Not Ready to Lose You. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or the characters. I only own the plot!
The water was perfect. The temperature was just right and the bubbles covered every surface of the water. Lavender scented candles were scattered throughout the bathroom. Their scent was intoxicating and relaxing. Soft classical music was playing in the background. Everything was just serene…like all the problems from the last few weeks didn't matter. For a moment in time he was able to pretend that the horrific experience hadn't taken place. He could pretend that he hadn't been shot with his own gun, in his own home, while he called the man that he loved on the phone. In this time and place the event seemed so far away. Almost as if it had happened in another life.
Then came the gentle hands that ran nimbly through the brown locks of hair. Their touch was so soft and sensual that it felt like all the tension was pulled out through Reid's scalp. Carefully….skillfully the hands worked the shampoo into his hair. His partner dragged his fingertips over his scalp, enjoying the act a little more than anyone would think possible. He sighed with contentment, loving the feel of Morgan pampering him. I can't believe this. I never thought that I would see the day that Derek Morgan would be a hopeless romantic sap.
"Lean back Pretty Boy. It's time to rinse." Morgan's voice was quiet and deep, penetrating through Reid's mind instantly. Reid did as he was told, careful not to move too much. He was still sore from the gunshot wound. Then everything hit him like a moving train. The gunshot played over again in his mind and the sound of the firing weapon echoed in his ears. Then there was the scene of waking up in the hospital, asking for Morgan. Finally his mind played back for him the time since his release. He relived every moment that he had spent with Morgan, watching as the strong man catered to his every need without a single complaint.
"Why are you doing this?" Reid couldn't control his need for the answer. He had been curious about the reply to the question since he was released from the hospital. Morgan still refused to give him an answer.
"Why am I doing what?" Morgan said, attempting to fake ignorance. It wasn't the first time that Reid had asked that question and certainly wasn't going to be the last unless he got the answer he wanted. He was determined. After watching Morgan torture himself by having Reid tell him exactly what happened, Reid knew that there was something going on with Morgan. He was taking all of this a little more personal than anyone was expecting. Of course I know that Derek has a protector complex, still it doesn't explain why he wants to carry around the burden of my trauma. According to him it's because, "I don't want you to have to suffer alone Pretty Boy. I wasn't there when it happened, but I will be damned if I let you try to heal from this alone. You won't go through this by yourself…I won't let you." Those words still played on an endless loop in Reid's mind…and he still couldn't understand why this meant so much to Morgan, but he was determined to find out.
"Really, Derek? You know exactly what I am talking about. It has been fifteen days, nineteen hours, forty-eight minutes, and seventeen seconds since the incident and you have been acting…I guess strange is the word that I would use."
"What is so strange about me bathing you and washing your hair?" Reid gave Morgan a look that said, "Do I really need to answer that?".
"What? Because I'm all big and muscular I'm not allowed to have a softer side. Is it a crime for me to be a romantic?" Reid smiled.
"No, it's not a crime. A complete and utter shock maybe, but not a crime. I just have never seen this side of you."
"Well, I plan on you being the one and only person seeing this side of me." He glanced at his watch and then back at Reid. He was waiting for something. While he had been acting strange since Reid's release, he had been acting even more so since this morning. Something had happened on the phone this morning.
"Who was on the phone this morning?" His eyes widened in shock, but Reid could already see Morgan's mind working to formulate a response.
"It was just a personal call…you know just someone who wants to catch up." He was dodging the question and he knew that Reid could tell. Then it clicked for Reid.
"It was Hotch wasn't it?" His question was met with silence and the avoidance of eye contact, so Reid pressed on.
"Are you requesting time off to babysit me?"
"What! No, Reid I'm not requesting time off."
"But you are babysitting me?" Reid raised his chin a little. It was his attempt at showing his defiance and determination.
"Can we just please drop this?" Morgan stood up and placed the towel that was in his hand on the side of the tub. "I'll be in the bedroom when you're done."
As he walked out Reid's mind started fishing for answers. He found himself analyzing everything that had happened today. The first thing that had clicked was that he had been called Reid. Since the love confession, Morgan had been veering away from the usage of Reid's surname and had shown a preference for his many pet names. Morgan is on the defensive. He only calls me Reid when he is irritated, angry, worried, or defensive. I haven't done anything to irritate him…that I can recall. He could be worried, but what would he be worried about? Then everything else began to replay in Reid's mind. He has been overbearing and overprotective today…at least more so than usual. His focus has been kind of off today, like his thoughts are somewhere else. He is clearly worried about something.
Reid climbed out of the tub and began to dry off. He was moving on autopilot…mainly because he was worried about Morgan. Reid didn't understand what would have his muscular and confident lover so shaken up and paranoid. With a towel wrapped firmly around his waist Reid exited the bathroom. Upon entering the bedroom he found Morgan lying on his back, hands behind his head and his eyes closed. His breathing hasn't slowed so I know that he isn't sleep. That means that he is trying to avoid talking to me.
Reid slowly made his way over to the foot of the bed. Morgan didn't bother to move or even open his eyes. Reid frowned as he stared at Morgan. I refuse to be ignored! With a look of pure resolve on his face Reid climbed on the bed and straddled Morgan's waist. He placed his hands on the firm chest of his dark lover and waited patiently.
"While this is a tempting position Pretty Boy, in your current condition nothing can happen. At least nothing too physically demanding." Morgan winked at Reid which caused him to roll his eyes. He knew what was going on. Morgan was trying to distract them both, but Reid wasn't going for it.
"Morgan what did Hotch say?" Morgan sighed deeply as he covered his eyes with his arm. He stayed silent for a while, trying to find the right words to use. Reid always tended to overanalyze things and the last thing Morgan wanted was for his lover to worry himself into sickness. With everything that had happened so far tension was already exceedingly high…there was no room for any added stress, but how long could he hide something like this. Eventually Morgan gave up.
"He called to tell me that he got a delivery this morning that was addressed to you both. It was a letter that, that-" Morgan stopped prematurely, not really dealing well with the news from earlier.
"A letter that what Derek?" Morgan stayed quiet as if he hadn't heard Reid. That was all it took for Reid to go off the handle. "Come on Morgan, don't close me out! You said that you weren't ready to lose me, but that is exactly what you are doing by shutting down on me!" Reid raised his hands and slammed them down on Morgan's chest.
"Dammit Reid!" Morgan shouted out. Rage lacing his words.
"Hurts don't it?" Well that's how I feel when you pull stupid shit like this!" Morgan had to open his eyes at Reid's usage of foul language. The kid must be really upset. He never talks like that. There I go again, hurting him more than I am helping. Morgan continued to mentally chastise himself not noticing that Reid had gotten off of him. There has to be something that I can do to protect him. Something that will ensure that he remains safe. Morgan focused back on reality trying to get a grip on the situation. It took him a few minutes to register that the weight that had been settled on him was gone. His eyes settled on Reid as he stared out the large bedroom window. A sense of emptiness began to seep into Morgan's bones.
"Spencer….Spence!" Reid turned around at the forceful edge in Morgan's voice. The pain was till prominent on his face. What have I done to you, Kid? When it became painstakingly obvious that Reid was not going to move on his own accord, Morgan gestured for him to come back over to the bed. Slowly, Reid dragged his feet until he was standing next to his partner. Morgan reached out and grabbed his wrist, gently guiding him back into his previous position. Only when Reid was once again straddling him did Morgan speak.
"Spence, I'm so sorry. I-I just want to protect you."
"Derek you can't-"
"Let me finish Pretty Boy…please?" Reid nodded. This was something that Morgan needed to express. Reid could see it in his eyes. The dark orbs held a shine to them that seem out of place. Morgan was fighting tears. Tears that showed just how frightened and unsure he really was.
"I know that you don't want my constant presence hovering over you, but the truth is that I am not just doing it for you. I am also doing that for me. Focusing on anything besides you is difficult, if not damn near impossible, when I am unsure if you are safe. I cringe when I think about you being alone with an unsub or kidnapped. I nearly break down every time you say that you need to go to a meeting, or rather see a movie as we so elegantly put it. Not because of the addiction itself, but because of the torment that you had to experience in order to get hooked in the first place.
"When I say that I hate seeing you distraught or in pain over anything, I mean anything- even though to me hate is a huge understatement. Pretty Boy, I love you and I need you to understand why I need to protect you." Morgan reached out and placed his hand on Reid's cheek. His thumb gently rubbed back and forth in a soothing motion. Reid leaned into the contact, reveling in the feel of having Morgan so close.
"Derek, I understand that you have to protect me. It's just part of your whole alpha male, too much testosterone persona."
"Hey!" Morgan softly slapped Reid's hip as a gentle and playful warning, a smiling tugging at his lips.
"What? It's true, but it's one of the reasons why I love you. You just have to understand that you can't protect me by hiding important things from me. That only makes you secretive and appears somewhat controlling. So, Derek please tell me what Hotch told you." Derek sighed as he realized that he had no choice but to tell Spencer everything.
"Fine! Hotch said that a letter was delivered to the BAU today. When he opened it he noticed that it was addressed to both of you, but the writer only spoke to you. The letter is from the person who shot you." Morgan took a moment to regain his composure. Here goes the hard part.
"He said that that night was only the beginning. He said that the hunt is on and that when the game ends you will be the trophy on his wall."
A/N: So sorry about the cliff hanger, but my creativity thought this would be a great place to stop. So if you want to blame anyone you can blame my creativity, who currently has no name :)...Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time. See Ya :D