Alfred

(Just Kidding, Arthur And Maddox)

"Now, we ken wha' ye're thinkin'..." Roy started.

"..and we jist want ta say..." continued Brian.

"...if Natalia mentions anythin' 'bout Ivan, than tha' was wha' she was doin'. No question."

"Are you looking for a thief or an afternoon of entertainment?" Vash demanded of the two policemen. Brian shook his head.

"We're not joking, Officer Zwingli. That girl is obsessed with 'er bro'er. She cannae focus on anything else long enough ta be our culprit. Unless it was fer a plan ta get Ivan ta marry 'er somehow."

If anything, that made Natalia even more creepy. Vash narrowed his eyes down at his list, looking at the other people the other policemen thought would be important to see. That Ivan was on the list, as was Matthias. But the next person was apparently the other person to come in yesterday.

"Actually, Alfred, Yao, an' Muhammad came in yesterday," Roy said. "Bu' it's Al 'oo's important. The o'er two 'ave a job tha' takes 'em in an' out."

"Alfred's going ta college," Brian said, sounding rather proud. "Eighteen an' well on 'is way ta becomin' a doctor!"

He was not going to mention how ridiculous they were making that sound, as if this Alfred was nearly done with his college education or something. Whatever the case, he was about to find out.

Apparently this Alfred was their nephew, because Arthur Jones was their brother. He did not ask why all their last names were different. He did not think he wanted to know.

"You're new to Hearth?" the man named Arthur asked, offering him some tea and scones which he was emphatically told to decline through wild gestures by Brian and Roy behind Arthur's back.

"Just passing through," he explained.

Arthur laughed, but did not say anything to explain what he thought was so funny. "Maddox!" he called down the hallway. "He won't likely show, but it's worth a shot," he explained.

"Maddox?" Vash asked. That name was on the list, circled and underlined thrice.

"My other other son," Arthur rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. "He lives in my basement and doesn't seem inclined to leave, twenty one or not."

"I am only twelve in my heart," said the man who was probably Maddox, right behind Vash.

Vash reacted accordingly and whipped around. Maddox did not flinch, simply staring at him with a face just as immovable as Berwald's but with less emotion displayed.

"Did ye steal anythin' yesterday?" Roy asked.

"Only my heart," Maddox replied in the same monotone, placing one of his hands (still covered by his sleeve) over the general area where most people had a heart.

"Narcissism at it's best," Arthur muttered, not seeming to care too much.

"Would you like it?" Maddox asked Vash.

"Like what?" Vash asked, rather lost, though doing his best to stay on the ball.

"My heart. Five hundred dollars."

"Just out of my price range," Vash retorted bluntly before turning back to Arthur. "Where were you yesterday evening?"

"I met with Alfred, since he just came home from college," Arthur said. "Nothing else spectacular happened."

"Except for all those body parts I put on the market," Maddox continued. "You can have my foot for three hundred. Is that in your price range?"

Was this man serious? Obviously not. Vash did not know why he was continuing to say these things while he was in the middle of an investigation. He glanced back at him briefly to give his answer. "No."

"Well I am not giving it up for free," Maddox said.

"If ye want ta make a sale with Zwingli, ye'll 'ave ta," Brian sighed.

"This is not important," Vash interrupted, fixing his eyes on Maddox once more. "Where were you yesterday?"

Maddox let his arms sway at his sides. "I was everywhere."

Vash narrowed his eyes. "That is not an answer."

"Everywhere," he repeated.

"At one point he was at Gilbert's house," Arthur cut in, reclaiming Vash's attention. "He took his football, so I returned it after meeting up with Alfred."

"I hear that was a spectacular kick, Dad."

Arthur's ears turned pink. "Shut up and answer his question."

"Ai'd believe 'e was everywhere," Roy shrugged. "No reason not ta!"

"Where is this Alfred?" Vash demanded, more exhausted with this household than he had been at the previous two.

"Probably at the doctor's," Arthur suggested. "He is probably in some health related conversation with his hero right now."

"No need ta sound bitter," Brian smiled, patting Arthur on the shoulder.

"I don't sound bitter! I'm just missing my sewing machine and for once it's not Maddox's fault!"

This was really not getting him anywhere, but Vash made sure to add what he had learnt here to his mental diagram of what had happened yesterday. He turned around to see that Maddox was still standing there behind him.

"Boo," he said blankly.

There is something wrong with this town, Vash decided, leaving the dark haired man behind.