This is unbeta'd so there might be a few mistakes. Sorry.
When Harry woke it was to a numb feeling spreading through his chest and a trickle of blood escaping from the corner of his mouth. To be honest he probably should have been more panicked than he was but he'd been expecting this for a while.
Instead of flailing around like a fish out of water he calmly wiped the blood away with the sleeve of his shirt. He pulled himself up out bed with a sigh, one hand absently clutching at his chest as if that could stop it from hurting.
He quickly grabbed the pack of cigarettes and his lighter from where they sat on his bedside table, stuck one in his mouth and quickly lit it. The relief was almost instant. His chest loosened and the pain leeched away as if it had never been there.
He'd been so busy taking care of Sirius, improving his volleyball skills and trying to keep up with his classes that he'd forgotten to take his fortnightly cigarette. It was a mistake he wasn't likely to make again.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there for, his bed sheets bunched up around his waist, his cigarette elegantly dangling from between two of his fingers.
He absently wondered if he should inform Sirius of what had happened but soon decided against it. His godfather had enough on his plate, Harry didn't want him to stress about something that had already happened.
Glancing at the clock on the wall which read 5:48 he decided he may as well get up now and prepare breakfast. Making sure he didn't drop the cigarette, he didn't want to waste it; he quickly made his way down to the kitchen.
Halfway through making some scrambled egg and bacon on toast with sausages and baked beans on the side –Harry normally just ate some toast and maybe a bit of egg, the rest was for Sirius- his godfather stumbled in. Harry couldn't help but be amused at his godfathers rumpled state; Sirius was still in his pyjamas and was in the process of rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. In short he looked like some sort of sleep deprived zombie.
Sirius flopped onto one of the chairs at the table and Harry moved to set his plate in front of him along with a mug of fresh coffee. His godfather went straight for the coffee, drinking the whole cup in less than five gulps, somehow not bothered by how hot it was. Almost instantly he seemed more awake.
Harry let out a soft chuckle before refilling Sirius's mug and bringing his own breakfast down to the table. Sirius managed to scoff down all his food as well as two more cups of coffee but Harry found himself lacking any desire to eat.
Sirius noticed that Harry only had half a glass of orange juice: it wasn't really strange behaviour for his godson but if it continued he'd say something. He didn't want Harry to go back to how he had been previously, not eating, not speaking, barely moving. He'd been so scared for his godson; he never wanted to see Harry that destroyed again.
Harry himself was too busy packing his bag for school and volleyball to notice his godfathers concerned looks. He slipped the packet of cigarettes and his lighter into his pants pocket, just in case, he'd learnt that he could never be too careful.
He took his time getting to school but still arrived with plenty of time to waste. Not wanting to be bothered, especially by the people in the volleyball club, he decided to climb a nearby tree and take a short nap.
Unfortunately his short nap went for longer than planned and when he woke he could tell that roughly three hours had already passed. He probably would have slept longer if it wasn't for a bird, he wasn't sure what type it was -some kind of sparrow?- landing on his shoulder and screaming into his ear.
Damn bird had to have something wrong with it. No way could such a cute looking animal make such a painful noise. The bird continued to squawk as it tried to gouge out his eyes. Now he didn't have much patience on a good day, and what little patience he did have he saved for when he had to talk to teachers or fellow students. He was not wasting it on this obviously deranged bird.
Had he still had his magic he probably would have shot the damn thing out of the sky. As it was he could only bat at it in irritation before jumping out of the tree. Landing in a crouch he spared one last glance at the bird who now stood rather smugly on a branch above him, its feathery chest puffed out in pride.
"Tch. Damn bird. You should be lucky I don't have my magic, because if I did I'd be having charcoaled chicken -or whatever the hell you are- for lunch."
He quickly decided he couldn't be bothered going to class since he'd already missed half the day. Leaving the stupid smug bird behind him he quickly made his way to the roof of the school building. He should probably eat something but his appetite seemed to have gone a vacation, and Harry had no idea how long it would be gone for. Could be days, could be hours, he really had no idea since it tended to vary.
He spent the last hours of class on the roof, staring up at the sky and drowning in his thoughts.
When the time for training finally arrived he took his sweet time walking to the gym. He was actually about ten minutes late because he'd been dragging his feet the whole way. He didn't really enjoy practicing with the team as he didn't see himself as an actual member. He wasn't as dedicated or passionate as the others. But it was something to pass the time. And it distracted him from the gaping wound in his chest where his core had once been that still felt like it was bleeding sluggishly.
He was surprised to find a stranger in the club, talking to the others and going on about school girl uniforms. The guy, who seemed to be familiar with most of the club members, was shorter than Hinata -did wonders never cease?- and had spiky brown hair with the fringe dyed blonde.
Harry stood silently by the doorway, taking in the way the team interacted with one another. As much as he loathed admitting it, some part of him wanted that. Wanted to have friends, friends that he could trust and depend on. It would be nice to know that someone, other than Sirius, cared about him.
But he could never have that. He knew that now. All through his younger years he'd been alone, the only ones that ever acknowledged him had been his relatives, and that hadn't been a nice kind of attention. He'd seen Ron and Hermione as good friends, people who he'd die for. And look where that had gotten him.
It wasn't just that. It was like he didn't have a place in the world. He was a broken puzzle piece, doomed to forever be alone. He was dangerous, anyone who got close to him ended up getting hurt. Something he couldn't help but thing he was holding Sirius back from moving forward and having a better life, a life his godfather more than deserved.
Would Sirius's life be better if Harry wasn't in it?
It was a question he'd pondered multiple times in the past and it still continued to haunt him. He was pulled from his admittedly dark thoughts when Hinata skipped up to him and grabbed hold of his arm. It was obvious the annoying ginger wanted to introduce him to the stranger, who he mentally named pineapple head, but Harry was having none of it.
He dug his heels in and stubbornly refused to be moved. But that didn't stop everyone's attention to be drawn to them when Hinata let out a noise of frustration that had Harry smirking.
Keeping his voice low enough so that only Hinata could hear him he muttered a sarcastic "Careful Hinata, wouldn't want to make your boyfriend jealous." His word had the desired effect and he felt a spike of joy when Hinata's face lit up like a Christmas light.
"Hey hey, who's the newbie?" The shout came from pineapple head, but Harry ignored him and shrugged out of Hinata's now slack grip. He sat down on the side of the court, he wasn't really in the mood for volleyball. He honestly just wanted to sleep.
And he probably would have gone to sleep right then and there if it wasn't for pineapple head getting all up in his face. Harry just scowled at him, the other teens boisterous voice getting on his nerves.
He felt like crap, he was in no mood to deal with them, he should have just stayed at home. Standing up he pushed past pineapple head and head to the door. Today had been complete waste.
Hey guys! It was not so recently my birthday (1st of Feb) I turned 15! Sorry this took so long and sorry that its kinda filler chapter but I just wanted to finish it. And I know I haven't been writing much lately but I'm not gonna give up on any of my stories! *Whispers* Should Sirius be paired with someone?
(The oneshot crossover collection should be up soon!)