He looks at me stunned and I know he is trying to think of an answer. "Well, who the fuck is she? No secrets Eli!" I glare at him while getting my panties on and he looks down and takes a breath "Fine, if you really must know she is someone else I have fucked." OH JESUS FUCK! I bite the inside of my cheek trying not to explode but I feel so dirty and feel so used that I can't hold it in any longer. "Are you fucking serious? You have someone texting you for a booty call? Is that what you think I am too, a fucking booty call?" I quickly finish getting dressed, my body is boiling from how pissed I am. He gets up off the bed and starts walking over to me "No you are not a booty call; I don't see you like that. Elena was a one-time thing!" He gets closer and I step back "Then how the fuck do you see me? I am not a fuck buddy; I'm not someone you can just use whenever you get horny!"

I turn around and storm out of his room "Clare!" I can hear him in his room fumbling to get dressed, but I don't turn around. Instead I walk out the front door, slamming it behind me and not even looking back. I quicken my pace hoping that I will have a bigger lead on him, if he tries to catch up. I grab out my phone to call my mom and ask for a ride, but remember that she thinks I'm at Alli's. I am so hurt I want to cry and I am so furious I want to scream. That is not the Eli I know, he has never cheated on anyone. Oh for fuck sakes, he could have been cheating on me the whole fucking time we were together! I bite the inside of my cheek fighting back the tears as I continue to walk home. I know how sad and pathetic it would look if I started crying now, and I know once I get home my mom would ask what is wrong. What would I tell her? Oh geez mom, I'm crying because last night I fucked Eli and broke my purity promise. Oh then I went to Alli's and bailed on her because Eli wanted to talk, but then we almost hooked up again. Oh you want to know why we didn't. Because someone else text him for a booty call. Yep, your daughter is officially a slut, aren't you so proud? Because I just feel so great about how my first time turned out!

After my mental discussion with my mom, a conversation I do not want to have, I fight back the tears until I get home. I walk up to the front door and can smell my mom has made homemade tacos for dinner. I take a deep breath and walk inside "Clare, you made it home just in time for dinner." I don't even look over at my mom, I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself "I'm not hungry mom; I ate with Alli at the Dot. Sorry" I head upstairs to hear here say its fine as she sits down to eat with my step dad. I quickly get into my room and shut the door behind me and sink to the ground crying silently. How could I have let this happen, why was I so stupid to even let it happen in the first place? Why is he even with her, if he is just going to cheat on her? Why did he have to use me? Are my feelings for him that obvious that he saw me as an easy target? I bite back the tears and try to pick up my already broken heart, even if it's just for a moment. I quickly change into my pajamas and lay in my bed in the dark. As the thought of last night and today replay through my mind and I can feel the tears wanting to escape, there is a knock at my door and my mom enters the room. "Hey, are you going to bed now? I just wanted to see if Eli was going to come over again to finish looking over that assignment." I feel like she knows it's a lie, like she knows he was over for other reasons. I shake my head and then realize it's dark and she probably can't see that, so I take a breath to steady myself before I speak "Yeah, I'm going to bed. I have a headache and I'm not sure if he is coming back over. I haven't talked to him since he left and I'm sure he has plans with his girlfriend. If it's decided that he will come over, I'll let you know, okay." I face the wall so she doesn't see the tears as they slowly start to escape, but she must have taken that as end of conversation because without another word she leaves my room, shutting the door behind her.

I sigh in relief and close my eyes to try to even sleep when my phone goes off So farewell somebody's goin' to miss you..