Warning, this is very angst, but the song is sad so it is hard to write happy thoughts about it.
BRICK - BEN FOLDS 5
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before her upset
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
She had been crying again, it had been commonplace these days. He made her cry more often than not and she was numb. Numb to emotions. Numb to the outside world. She spent most nights balled up on the couch crying while the world was sleeping. She had to do it in silence. Misery may have loved company, but not when you are keeping the world's biggest secret. Unhappiness!
She put up with most of it so she didn't have to be alone. She liked to be a +1 even if it meant she had to paint on a happy face each day, but it was getting harder and harder, her nice solid brick was crumbling and she was drowning in her own fear...slowly but surely.
The only thing that kept her head above water was him, her most beautiful Derek Morgan, her Adonis, hotter than hot and brimming with sweet sex, he was what kept her heart beating and her lungs from filling with water and drowning her. He was her best friend but even he couldn't fix this, could he?
He was always there for her, no matter what, but she could not bear to tell him, it was not fair for him to put his life on hold to pick up the pieces of her shattered life. Even thouugh he would do that if she asked.
He comes home, sees her crying on the couch and goes directly to the bedroom, he did that regularly, ignored her, he got what he wanted, control and Morgan out of her life. Hope he is happy!
She wished daily she could have her time back, blow Battle off like she originally thought about and accept the date with Morgan, if she would have done that, what would have changed? Well she wouldn't have been suspended so they would not have needed Kevin Lynch to investigate her, it was all dominoed off that one incident. Indirectly the bullet was to blame, it ripped through her much like her life was now.
She thought long and hard about calling Morgan, admitting to him that she needed to be saved, rescued and let him be her someone, but she was sure he didn't want that, who would with her, she was such a wreck, broken and crumbled brick drowning out her last breaths. At one point she would have thought she was worth more, but not now. He perfect facade was breaking down the damn and it was only a matter of time before it drown them all.