I gasp and see Jake stumble back as I stay frozen on the last step. I can't really tell where Jake has been hit, but now he looks even more pissed off. Why is Eli even hitting Jake? Then I see Jake regain his balance just as Eli is walking through the door. Eli steps toward Jake and swings at him again, only this time Jake avoids the contact and in return he hits Eli. This whole thing seems to be happening from a distance like I'm on the outside of it all watching it on TV or something, not like this is happening in my living room. I see Eli stagger back and he reaches up and touches the side of his face and he lunges at Jake knocking him over the couch and he hits him again and this time I hear it. It doesn't sound good, I see Jake shove Eli off of him and then notice Jake's nose is bleeding. I finally get the nerve to move and Jake hits Eli again. "Knock it off you two! This is stupid! Do you even know why you are fighting? I am pretty sure I know what it is and honestly you both need to get over it. In a way your both are probably right. I-I can't do this." I grab my jacket and I walk out the front door, slamming it behind me leaving the guys to tend to their selves.
I walk with no destination in mind while my thoughts run through my mind. Why would Jake care if I broke my purity promise with Eli? I dated Eli for a while without sleeping with him and who cares if he has a girlfriend, I still love him. I never stopped loving him. Why would Eli be so pissed off at Jake calling me a slut or a fuck buddy? Why would he care what people thought of me? Clare, if you're going to be honest with yourself then you're going to have to admit, it is slutty for you to even sleep with someone who is taken, even if you have feelings for him. You made a promise, no sex before marriage and you broke that in one night. How would you feel if you were with him and he cheated on you? Exactly, you will feel like scum. Kind of like you feel now. He doesn't want a relationship with you, he wants her. So in a way Jake is right. I sigh and fight back the tears that I feel are about to run down my cheeks. I blink in hope that will postpone them long enough for me to get to somewhere private. I look around and try to focus and see the park across from me; I walk there and see that it's abandoned. I walk over to the furthest tree and sit in the darkest spot, so no one would be able to see me and I let the tears fall.
After a while of crying and feeling like there is no possible way I could cry any more, I hear my phone go off. I look down and see that there is a text from my mom,
Clare-
Where are you? Jake said you stormed out. He is sitting here with Eli waiting on you to get home. Can you explain to me what happened, why did I come home to the house a wreck and seeing both boys bleeding? Text me as soon as you get this.
Love,
Mom
I sigh and instead of texting my mom, I grab out my phone and text my sister. It's been a while since we have talked, but if anyone would understand it's her.
Sis-
I messed up big time, I know to you it wouldn't seem like it. But to me, I did. I feel like shit and I don't have anyone to talk to about it and I know you have been there. If you aren't too busy, can you please text me?
-Clare
Then I text my mom back
Mom-
I don't know what is going on either. Maybe they were goofing off and it got to rough. What do you mean they are bleeding? Why are they waiting on me?
I hit send and soon have a reply back telling me to come home now. I know I look like a mess and at this point I honestly don't care, I stand up and put my phone back in my pocket and walk home. I know when I get home I have to face Jake and Eli and then my mom will probably find out I am no longer pure. I can already see the disappointment on her face and I know she will side with Jake. It seems like time just froze because in no time I am already home. I walk up to the front door and take a deep breath and close my eyes trying to calm myself before I enter the storm. Once I step in, I see Jake and Eli in the kitchen both with ice packs on their face. So I walk over to them, I can see concern on Eli's face and I just see disgust on Jakes face. I bite the inside of my cheek to make sure I don't cry again and as I get closer to the kitchen, I can make out what is wrong with them both. It seems like Eli has a black eye and a busted lip and Jake has a black eye and a busted nose. I look around to see where my mom is and then Eli speaks "Your mom is upstairs, I told her we were joking around and I didn't take my medicine and I just flipped a switch. That it was my fault." He reaches for my hand and I step out of his reach. "Thanks for covering about why the fight happened. But you need to go home; I can't talk about this right now." I don't even make eye contact with either of them and head up to my room. As I sit on my bed, I can hear the front door open and then close; then followed by Eli starting his car. I know that I have to stop seeing Eli in any way other than friendship. I know that there will never be anything more between us then that and as I look out my window, I see him drive off and the flood gates open again. The rest of the night is a blur and I don't remember anything I did after seeing Eli drive away.
I get woken up by a knock on the door "Get up and get ready for school, if you aren't downstairs soon, I'm leaving without you and your ass can walk!" Yep, looks like yesterday wasn't a dream and I will have to deal with a pissed off Jake. I quickly get dressed putting on the Degrassi uniform, khakis and a red polo; I grab my book bag and go downstairs. I walk go over to the front door while Jake puts his bowl in the sink, he turns around and he just shakes his head. Not wanting to hear what he is even going to say, I walk out the front door and go sit in his truck and wait on him to leave. As I wait my phone goes off and it's a text from Eli, I hit ignore and don't even bother reading it. Finally Jakes gets in the car and we drive to school, as my phone goes off again. It's another text from Eli and I hit ignore and then a text from Alli. OMG Clare, what happened to Eli? You have got to see him! He has a black eye and busted lip. His girlfriend is having a cow; all he told her was that he and Jake were goofing off. Everyone wants to know why they would even be hanging out. So what happened? I put my phone on silent and slide it into my pocket and close my eyes and lean my head back against the seat. After a few minutes I open my eyes to Jake hitting his breaks hard and practically jerking me forward, his way of telling me we are at school without talking to me. I get out of the truck to everyone watching me, the whole school must know about the fight between Jake and Eli and they must want to see if the rumors are true. Once Jake is out of the car I can hear other students gasp as they catch sight of his wounds. I bite the inside of my cheek God, I know I haven't been that great of a person lately but can you please just make me disappear?
"Clare Edwards, we need to have a little talk"