Another turning point a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time – Greenday
The time has come in my life, the proverbial fork in the road. On one hand I have Kevin, the goofy tech, on the other hand, sweet and super sexy Derek Morgan. I mean on looks alone Morgan would win hands down, he is a perfect sculpted god, Kevin on the other hand, is pale in comparison, he is messy and sometimes unkempt. Morgan is always dressed to the nines and clean shaven. Why am I dating Kevin again?
I don't even know why I am in this situation, I suppose time has a lot to do with it, I have put in 3 years with Kevin and the only true thing I learned from that chapter of my life is that I am not truly happy. I care for Kevin but I am not sure I love him or that I am in love with him. Even after all this time,he has to work to get me turned on, all I have to do is look at Derek and my heart is racing and my palms sweaty and I would do whatever he asked, if he asked me to do it.
Kevin thinks we should move in together, I'm not sure I want to take that step, that would mean it was going to a new level and I don't want that, not with him, but the one I want it with doesn't seem to want the same things I want, sure he flirts back, but if I actually called him on it, I am sure he would run for the hills. I need to talk this through, I want to talk it over with Morgan, but that would be awkward, but I would value his opinion, so I go for the next best thing, JJ, we have gotten real close over the years too.
"Hey JJ," I say approaching her, "can we talk?"
"Sure Pen, what do you want?"
"Can we go to your office, I would appreciate some privacy." We move things to her office, not many are in the bullpen, it is a quiet day.
"Kevin asked me to move in with him," I blurt out.
JJ is silent. "What?" I ask and turn around to see Derek standing there.
"Um, sorry, didn't mean to eavesdrop, just wanted to know if you were still meeting me at the gym, JJ." and he turned and walked away.
"Morgan," I ran after him, "Can we talk?"
"Do you want to rub it in?" He sneered.
"It is not like that at all, I am confused."
"What's to be confused about?"
"My heart and my head don't want the same things."
He perked his brow, "What do you mean?"
"I mean my heart belongs to someone else." He looked at me, I couldn't speak, I could only nod.
"So are you moving in with Kevin?" he asked.
"It depends, what are you doing this weekend?"
"I have a hot date with a blonde bombshell...if she will have me." He smiled.
"Then I guess I am not moving in with Kevin."