A/N: ...Honestly I have no right to speak to all right now. I'm sorry is the understatement of the century. But I'm gonna say it anyway. I am SO SORRY that I am the worst updater in the history of updating and I can't promise anything cause I might not be able to keep it but I SWEAR to you I am going to try and not be a dick the remainder of this story. I hope I didn't lose all my fans. If I did I deserve it. For all you guys who stayed I love you all so much :)

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT OUT?"

Naruto gulped and shrunk against the wall behind him as his terrifying grandmother towered over him dangerously. He had come to the realization that he was in way over his head with this "plan" and he just couldn't go through with it. It was all too much. Though, telling his grandmother who has, for decades, been trying to imprison her once childhood friend turned psycho path the he didn't want to participate in the plan that would probably finally convict him of all his crimes and land him the death sentence ridding her of her problems once and for all was definitely not a great idea.

"Come on Baa-chan, you have to hear me out!" Naruto cried throwing up his hands to protect himself, just in case his grandmother decided to attack. She may be old but her punch was a bitch. Tsunade raised her fist menacingly making her young grandson flinch like there was no tomorrow before tiredly backing away and sitting behind her desk. Naruto peeked through his eye lashes, making sure it was okay before cautiously taking his own seat. Tsunade ran a hand across her face and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Naruto, you better have a damn good reason or I swear to all that is holy I will make your life miserable for as long as you live," Tsunade threatened as she leaned forward, silently giving Naruto the okay to explain his "damn good reason." Naruto wrung his hands together nervously.

"I do Baa-chan, I swear. It's just that, Sasuke and Satsuki are so close. They've been through so much and have lost pretty much everything." Naruto threw himself back in his seat with a pained expression on his face. "Baa-chan, the more I think about this plan, the guiltier I feel. I'm pretty much keeping them hostage and lying to them. Once they get on the witness stand, if the get on the witness stand, what then? We toss them a couple of bucks and say sayonara. They'll hate me! They'll know I was only playing them to get a confession and that nothing that really happened was genuine."

Tsunade leaned back in her chair with her chin resting thoughtfully on top of folded hands. She knew the would happen, but not this soon. The two refugees had only been living with Naruto for a week. She expected at least a month or two to pass before her kind-hearted grandson thought about the underlying message in her plan. She understood that if the Uchihas found out too early there could be devastating consequences to not only them but to Naruto as well. But it was too late to back out now. She needed that confession and she was going to get it, no matter what.

"Naruto," she began softly when she saw the tears begin to form in the young man's eyes, "I understand how you feel. But the future is not yet decided. A lot can change in four months, including people. If the Uchiha doesn't figure out what's going on before the four months is up then everything will be fine. And afterwards, after we kill the bastard who did all those horrible things to them and rid their fears for good, who knows what could happen. Maybe that's up for them to decide." Tsunade walked around her desk and placed her carefully manicured hands on Naruto's shoulders. "But for now, we need to focus. Nothing is going to progress with all these apprehensions. You are a kind, gentle, and caring person Naruto. Your affections to everyone are always genuine. And if the Uchiha doesn't believe that, then he is a fool," she cooed softly, wiping the tears from her grandson's eyes. "You don't need to worry. Everything will be fine." Naruto sniffed loudly and gave a watery smile.

"Thanks Baa-chan," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist in an awkward hug. Tsunade smiled fondly and patted his back in return.

"You're welcome Naruto," she replied untangling herself from the embrace and smiling warmly. "Oh and Naruto?

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget to take this with you."

"Mr. Naruto! What happened to your head?"

Naruto smiled softly as he walked into his tiny but recently crowded apartment. The minute his key was in the door he heard Satsuki's tiny footsteps bounding from his bedroom. He wasn't surprised to see her beaming happily at him when he opened the door but he did enjoy how her face turned from joy to surprise and worry as he entered sporting a humongous knot on the top of his head, a black eye, and a slight limp. This was definitely the last time he was ever participating in one of his grandmother's plans.

"A demon with a drinking problem and anger issues is what happened," Naruto replied, slowly lowering himself onto his couch. Satsuki immediately climbed into his lap and began to inspect his wounds. Naruto studied the five year old as she expertly moved across his injuries. Yesterday the pair had finally gone through all of their clothes that they packed and with Naruto's lack of a washer and dryer, (because someone who had a certain giant animal as a pet decided it was okay to wash and dry his clothes covered in said giant pets giant fur balls) they had absolutely nothing to wear. Now Satsuki was covered with one of Naruto's t-shirt he'd bought two sizes too small but was enormous enough to almost swallow her completely. Her hair was still in a messy bun held with Tsunade's (shudder) chopsticks she'd given Satsuki that day at the hospital. For the past three days the young girl refused to take them out. Her feet were bare and the bottoms were dirty and covered in white and red fur. Tomorrow, he thought, I'll take her shopping tomorrow. Naruto looked at Satsuki, her eyebrows furrowed and her tongue sticking out in a look of pure concentration. She was beautiful, just like her father.

"You're fine Mr. Naruto. The knot should go away in a couple of hours and your eye will be as good as new tomorrow! You might want to put some ice on it now though. That'll help it heal faster." Satsuki recited happily, climbing down to sit on Naruto's lap with a large smile on her face. Naruto smiled back before something suddenly hit him.

"Satsuki..." he started, cautiously picking her up from his lap. Satsuki curiously cocked her head to the side at the action.

"Hn?" Naruto closed his eyes, wondering how to phrase the question he needed to ask.

"Are you um, well, do...do you have on any underwear?" he asked cautiously. Immediately, Satsuki's face turned a beet red and Naruto groaned.

Today, he thought as he placed the stammering girl back on the floor, I'll take her shopping today. Naruto reached into his pocket and quickly dialed the first number logged into his phone, praying that someone would answer.

"Hello."

"Hello, Sakura?"

"No, it's the freakin' Easter bunny. I robbed some chick last night and now I'm answering the phone with her voice so that I can trick people into giving me easter eggs for a change." Naruto smiled broadly as the groggy voice spat venemously at him. Oh how he missed her so.

"Hey 'Kura Kura, no need to be so grumpy. Isn't my voice like the best thing to wake up to?" Naruto chuckled lightly as he heard Sakura groan at the nickname. He only dared to call her that when she was either sleepy or completely wasted.

"Naruto, you better have a damn good reason for waking me up at 9:30 on a saturday morning. The only morning in an entire week, I might add, that I get to sleep in without someone riding my ass," Sakura replied, slowly easing out of bed because she knew whatever Naruto wanted would require either her or her car.

"Baa-chan told you about my new roommates right?" Naruto started looking down at Satsuki. The young girl still had the blush on her face and her hands twisting the hem of his shirt, but she looked at him with curious eyes, probably wondering who he was talking to on the other end of the line.

"You mean the bitchy raven and his daughter?"

Naruto covered his mouth to stiffle the laugh threatening to come out. Oh man, if Sasuke had only heard that...

"Yeah, those are the ones."

"What about 'em?"

"Well, they kind of went through their supplies yesterday..."

"And?"

"And I was going to take them shopping tomorrow..."

"But?"

"But, it's more of an emergency than I thought."

"Naruto, can you just please tell me what you need so I can go back to sleep?"

"I need you."

"Why?"

"Because of Satsuki."

"The daughter? What about her?"

"She needs clothes."

"Then buy her some."

"And..."

"Naruto!" Naruto felt his face rise as he covered the mouthpiece so that Satsuki couldn't hear him whisper the next word into the receiver. Sakura was silent for a while before letting out a barking laugh.

"Alright! I'll help you. But only because I know that since you had to whisper the word 'panties,' it would nearly kill you to have to buy them!" Saukura gasped out, suddenly wide awake and dying of laughter. Naruto pouted.

"See you in ten," he replied before sharply hanging up on the condescending laughter. He glanced down at Satsuki who had apparently grown bored of his conversation and was now playing with Kyuubi. She'd grown very attached to him in the past week and Kyuubi had grown attached to her as well. Naruto glared at the ginger cat. It took the little bastard three months to even begin liking Naruto when he first bought him. Naruto scowled as he watched his evil pet purr contently at Satsuki's soft and even strokes. Cocky little -

"Satsuki?"

Naruto's train of thought was immediately lost when he turned around and saw what was possibly the most beautiful sight that was ever bestowed on the face of the earth. Sasuke, stumbled out of the hallway rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. His hair looked like the rumpled feathers of an angry chick. His clothes, or lack thereof, were nothing but one of Naruto's shirts he bought two sizes too big (he wasn't a very good shopper) dangling dangerously off both shoulders and only stopping to mid-thigh. Naruto felt his mouth water as he grazed down the exposed pale skin of Sasuke's legs and bare feet before moving back up to the tantalizing sight of his long neck and bare shoulders. All of that combined with the fact that his mind was screaming that since Satsuki didn't have any underwear that meant Sasuke didn't either, Naruto was almost scrambling for his phone to call Sakura and cancel the shopping trip for at least another day but the combination of the doorbell and an unexpected voice forced everyone in the room to freeze in surprise.

"Hubba Hubba Hubba! Lookie at what we have here!"

Naruto sighed as he put the coffee in the filter and started the coffee maker. The one time, the one and only time that Sasuke was a jerk long enough for Naruto to enjoy him in all his beauty without being barked or glared at, Kiba just had to go and ruin it. Naruto turned and glared at said mutt who, in turn, was staring and practically drooling over a very annoyed and irritated Sasuke. Satsuki sat in front of her father trying her best to glare Kiba away while Kyuubi purred in her lap. The two would have looked intimidating had one of them not been five and both not completely consumed by Naruto's t-shirts. Sakura sat texting on her phone, ignoring everything around her.

Naruto let out another sigh as the coffee bubbled to perfection. Why couldn't he just have one moment of piece. Everything was going to be so great that day but Kiba just had to get back from his stupid vacation. Apparently he came back in the early hours of the morning and went to his room for a quick nap before he went to pick up Akamaru from the kennel. And just when Naruto's day was at the most enticing (he almost drooled in Sakura's coffee at the memory), Kiba just had to waltz it and shoot the horse right in the face. Naruto gathered all four cups of coffee, and a cup of apple juice for Satsuki, and made his way into the living room where everyone was sitting. Placing people's respectable cups in front of them, Naruto took his seat next to Sakura on the couch and waited for the onslaught of trouble to occur. It was silent for a while, but with Kiba it didn't last long.

"So Naruto, when are you going to introduce me to the babe in the tee." Kiba blurted, wagging his eyebrows at Sasuke who returned it with a disgusted scowl. Satsuki growled softly which made Kyuubi jump up with his fur on end. Naruto immediately felt a headache come on.

"Oh don't be such a pig Kiba," Sakura snorted. "Can't you be a respectable gentleman long enough for someone to actually like you before you stick your foot in your mouth." Kiba grinned widely.

"My first impression was already shot to hell, may as well ride the roller coaster all the way to the bottom baby." He replied winking. Sakura just rolled her eyes and continued texting. "So Naruto, who's the hottie?" Sasuke leaned forward, his hands placed conveniently on the ever rising hem of Naruto's t-shirt. Kiba's eyes nearly flew out of his head and even Sakura looked up from her texting. Naruto, however, looked at Sasuke's eyes and immediately noticed that a mega bitch fit was coming if he didn't do something fast.

"Kiba, this is Sasuke and Satsuki! They were attacked by muggers, so they're moving in with us for a while." Naruto exclaimed, emphasizing Sasuke's and Satsuki's dilemma and hoping that Kiba understood enough to back the hell off. "Sasuke, Satsuki, this is my roommate Kiba."

"So convenient that you forgot to inform us you had a roommate," Sasuke drawled, flashing what Naruto had now come to call the "Uchiha glare" directly into his soul. Naruto gulped, cursing himself for his stupid mistake.

"Well I guess maybe I should tell you he owns a dog too that should be coming home today," the blond countered nervously. Sasuke's scowl grew deeper and Naruto swore on his life that he saw a flash of fear in Sasuke's dark, obsidian eyes. That was definitely not good.

"Don't worry buttercup. Akamaru is as safe as a kitten. But if he scares you too much maybe I can, uh, comfort you. If you know what I mean," Kiba said as he edged closer and closer to Sasuke. Naruto, somewhere in the back of his mind, told himself he should feel angry or jealous at Kiba's obvious advances. But for some reason he wasn't. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that he knew Kiba was an idiot and that Sasuke would rather shoot himself in the foot before he accept Kiba's comfort, or if it was because he wasn't entirely sure why he should feel jealous in the first place. Either way it was still hilarious to witness Sasuke tear Kiba a new one ten ways to Sunday.

"I neither know know nor care about what you mean whatever your name is, and I swear that if you put one of you grubby little mutt fingers on me I will not only castrate you so fast you won't even notice your dick is missing until you bleed to death, but I will also chop you into the smallest pieces and shove every single one down your dumb dogs throat until he can't stomach so much of your disgusting that he chokes on his own vomit and dies," Sasuke recited while giving Kiba the most intimidating Uchiha glare he could possibly muster. Sakura immediately threw her hands to her mouth to try and stifle the laughter. Naruto grabbed his coffee mug, hoping the hot liquid would stop him from erupting in giggles. Kiba chuckled nervously and edged away.

"Ha ha, a feisty one. You're going to be real fun around here Uchiha," he replied, trying to mask his fear. Finally, he acknowledged Satsuki enough to lean down and speak. "And you much be Satsuki. You're cute! Like your dad," Kiba said smiling. Satsuki kept her own glare on her face and her cheeks puffed out in anger.

"Bite me," she shot, making Naruto and Sakura lose control. Kiba blushed and said his good-byes before racing out of the apartment. Naruto and Sakura leaned on each other for support as they laughed themselves into oblivion. Sasuke glared at them silently, but a small smile found its way to his face. Satsuki didn't know what they were laughing about, but she let out a couple of giggles herself.

"Oh man! Did you see his face?" Naruto cried, wiping his eyes as he tried to clam himself down. "I've never seen him that embarrassed. Oh man, I wish I had a camera."

Sakura leaned back, holding on to her aching stomach. "I know right! Serves the pig right. He needed someone to knock him down a few pegs." A long sigh escaped her and she stared at Sasuke with mirth in her eyes. "Sasuke, this is my first time meeting you, and you have done something that not even the most vicious person on the planet could do. I have a feeling we are going to be the best of friends," she said with a huge smile on her face. Sasuke scoffed in return but Naruto saw the small smile return to his features once more. As Sakura and Satsuki both chatted about being friends and their upcoming shopping trip, Sasuke couldn't help but think how beautiful Naruto's laughter sounded, and Naruto couldn't help but think how amazingly stunning Sasuke looked with a smile.

Woo! That was a pretty decent update. I kind of like this chapter. Aaaaand I have an idea of where I want this story to go. It's gonna be a little slow at first but it'll pick up soon...I hope. Anyway, again I am so sorry for this late update but school is like 2 days away from being over so I SWEAR I am go to try and update more and more. Tanks you guys! Ciaossu :)