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Winter stared out of the window of Raphel's car while she cried silently. She watched as the woods flew by. Raphel wasn't saying anything, as she knew he wouldn't. He was quiet and letting her gather herself. The images from Jerry's memories were still fresh in her mind. Every time she shut her eyes she saw the faces of his victims, his lovers, and his night children. Her heart was slamming in her chest and she felt like she couldn't breath. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought Jerry could have done the things he had done, killed the way he had, and was as careless as he was with his night children.

" He loves you." Raphel said. " You need to remember that. He has never felt that way, my Darling. And I'm not just saying that. Jerry is such a better man and vampire since he met you."

" I never thought he could be so cruel." Winter said softy.

" He was. I believe he told you that." Raphel said, pulling out onto the main road.

" He told me he was ruthless but I had no idea it was that bad." Winter said as she faced Raphel. " It's more than his memories that upset me though. He had kept things from me. He never told me he could force me into the sun. I thought we were completely open with each other, told each other everything but that's not true. He told me about the mated vampires reaction to other males being another his mated female but he didn't tell me that females react the same. I had to find that out on my own."

" That was a mistake for him then. He should have disclosure it to you." Raphel said.

" Yeah, he should have because my fangs flew out in the club. If he hadn't stepped in, I would have revealed myself to everyone." Winter said. " He also didn't tell me he could hide things from me. I thought we couldn't hide anything from each other because of our blood bond and our mated bond but that's not true. He just let me believe it. I feel so stupid." Winter shook her head then looked back outside. " I feel like he has betrayed me." She finished up quietly after a few minutes.

" I can understand how you are feeling." Raphel said. " I wish you could feel what he is feeling now. I can hide things from him but he can hide nothing from me when our marker/child bond is open and right now his heart is breaking. He is terrified that you will want to end your mate-hood. His fear is washing over me."

" Good." She snapped. Raphel said nothing more as they continued towards his house.

XXXXXX

Jerry sat on their couch with his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees. He was squeezing his eyes shut and trying his damndest to break through her shields. He needed to let her feel how sorry he was but she was holding stead fast to her blockage. She could feel him pushing against her, she had to because she was pushing right back. She finally slammed him with everything in her. Jerry sat straight up and opened his eyes. She pushed him so hard, Jerry was stunned.

There was only one other way he could reach her.

XXXXXX

Winter settled into the bedroom Raphel had given to her. She had set her bags down and was getting ready for the dawn. She had fed from one of Raphel's servants then retired to the room, speaking to no one else. Raphel had instructed everyone to keep their distance, that Winter needed her own space and some time.

She walked out of the bathroom in her room, setting her clothes down on her bag then climbed into the bed. She pulled the blankets over her head and stared at the ceiling. She was still angry and sad. Jerry had given up on pushing into her mind and she was thankful. She sighed, feeling the dawn darkness start to creep into her mind. Usually she tried to fight the sleep but that morning, she welcomed it. She closed her eyes as her body gave in.

XXXXXX

Winter knew right away she was dreaming. She was standing in Jerry's old house, dressed in nice, dark jeans and a long sleeve dark gray shirt. It was the outfit she had been wearing the night Jerry and her had been mated. She frowned and turned from the kitchen so she was facing the living room. Jerry was leaning against the couch with his arms crossed over his chest. His head was tilted down and he was looking at her through his lashes.

" Am I dreaming or are you in my mind?" She asked.

" Both." He said. Winter's frown deepen.

" Oh, so you can enter my dreams now? Just another thing you decided to keep secret from me!" She snapped. He pushed away from the couch, dropped his arms and started towards her slowly.

" Remember how things were between us when we were here?" He asked.

" I was dying when I was here." She snapped. Jerry nodded as he started to circle her.

" You were but I saved you. I saved you because I love you and couldn't image being without you. Do you remember that?" He asked.

" What do you want?" She asked.

" A chance to explain. I knew you won't let me do it in person so I brought you here." Jerry said as he came up to her front again.

" What's stopping me from leaving?" Winter asked.

" You can't leave until I release you." She shook her head. " Please, Love, just listen to me."

" No, maybe you should listen to me! You tricked me! Everything between us has happen because you have wanted it too but what about what I want? Have you ever thought of that?"

" I know, Love, I know." He said sadly. He reached forward to take her hands but Winter moved away from him.

" You turned me without my permission. You said you would kill me but you lied. You have lied about the power you have over me being my marker. You choose not to tell me about all the women you have been with..." Winter shook her head and closed her eyes. " I can not even think straight with all those females faces going around in my mind." She looked up at him again. " You have never had sex with just one female, have you? In all your memories you have been with more than one partner."

" You are the first." He confirmed.

" How can I even satisfy you?" Winter asked, her voice soft suddenly and filled with tears.

" How can you doubt that? You satisfy me like no one ever has. Sex with you goes beyond the physical feeling you give me. I have never enjoyed sex and oral sex as much as I enjoy it with you. How can you even worry about that?" Jerry asked, moving towards her again. Winter started to back up.

" What about your night children? You were so heartless with them. How do I know you won't decide to push me into the sun? My entire life is in your hands. " She said.

" And mine is yours. Do you not understand that? I won't live without you. If something happens to you then I will end my life as well. You have to know that, Winter please. I just need you to understand that." Jerry begged. When the counter hit her back, Winter crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from him as a tear slipped down her cheek.

" You have lied to me when I thought we were completely open with each other." When Jerry reached her, he put his right hand against the counter while his left hand came up and went into her hair. " You made me look stupid. I bragged about how open we were. I told Raphel's mate and Giselle how lucky I was to have you." He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

" Can you not even look at me?" Jerry asked softly. He brought himself closer to her so their bodies were barely touching. He put his knuckles under her chin and turned her head but Winter closed her eyes. " Please, Love. Just look at me, even if it's for just one more time."

" I can't." She said. " I jus can't right now."

" You know how much I love you, don't you?" Jerry asked. Winter swallowed hard.

" I can't do this right now, Jay. I just can't do this." She whispered. Jerry's despair swept through her as he backed away from her.

" I need you in my life. I'm sorry." He said before he disappeared out of her dream.