"Mark, you don't have to leave." Jeff said, as he saw Mark putting his jeans on. Jeff tried not to stare, but knew that he was failing miserably. Mark just sighed and shook his head as he finished dressing, "no, it was a mistake to come here knowing you were going to be here too; and it was a mistake to try and talk to you last night. I've done nothing but be a complete asshole to you and I shouldn't expect you to do me the favor of talking."
"Yeah," Jeff interrupted, "you have been a complete asshole." Mark looked at Jeff with sorrow in his eyes and all he could manage was a small nod. "Damn it. Wait." Jeff said grabbing his own t-shirt and pulling on his gym shorts. Jeff finally caught up to Mark in the hallway, "Jeff, I promise you that I won't bother you anymore. I know I've broken a lot of promises I've made to you, but this one I won't. I'm going to respect your decision." Mark told him, he really didn't want to continue talking. All talking to Jeff did was stir up feeling he wasn't ready to deal with.
Jeff grabbed Mark by the arm and forced him to look at him, "well, maybe that isn't what I want."
Mark looked at Jeff in confusion. In the brief time between him leaving the sauna and Jeff following him, he'd made a decision to not pursue any type of reconciliation between them. He wanted to just let it all go. It was hurting Jeff to be around him; it was hurting Mark to be the cause of Jeff's pain and Mark was beginning to sense that any prolonged time together was only going to end up hurting someone, and he was afraid that the person getting hurt would be Randy. The idea of Randy getting hurt was something that Mark didn't want either. After all that he had done for him, Mark knew that Randy's feelings were just as important and his and Jeff's now.
"Mark?" Jeff asked, worried about what Mark could be thinking now that he'd admitted that he wasn't interested in Mark leaving him alone. "What?" Mark asked, trying to clear his thoughts.
Jeff took Mark's hand and sat them both down on the bench between the two elevators. Jeff wasn't really sure what he wanted to say to Mark, but he knew that something had to be said. Jeff was so confused that he wasn't even sure what he felt; he didn't know if he still loved Mark, or if he hated him, if he was upset about what had gone down between them or guilty of causing it all to happen. He held onto Mark's hand and all he could remember was how much he cared for Mark. Knowing that they were both at fault for things they'd done in the past, Jeff decided that he should just open his mouth and hope that something that made sense came out.
"I... I... don't really know what to say." Jeff stammered. "You don't need to say anything Jeff." Mark spoke to him in a whisper. "Yes, I do. I... I just don't know what it is that needs to be said." Jeff said. "I think maybe it should be something about what happened between us." Mark hung his head, "that'd probably be a good place to start." Mark took his hand away from Jeff's, "I was definitely an asshole, Jeff. I'm so sorry and I can't apologize enough for how I treated you." Jeff sat there listening and trying to remember what Mark's hand felt like in his. "What I did wasn't fair at all. I begged and pleaded for you to talk to me and when you did, I just couldn't handle it and did the worst possible thing I could have done." Mark stopped; he wasn't sure what else he could say or what else he wanted to say at the moment. "Yeah, well, I shouldn't have lied to you all that time." Jeff said. "I wanted to just let go of all of those insecurities, I really did, but I don't know what happened. I knew that if you wanted to leave me to spend it with your family, there would be absolutely nothing I could do or say to make you stay." Mark shook his head and put his hand up to stop Jeff, "If I wanted to leave you..." Mark looked at Jeff, "I never had any intentions of leaving you. Not ever. My family, my kids mean everything to me, but it was never you or them. You were my family too, Jeff." Jeff frowned, "I was your family." Mark took Jeff's chin in his hand and made Jeff look at him, "I still care about you, Jeff. What I feel for you was never in question, what I questioned was what you felt for me." Mark had to stand up, he was getting to antsy sitting, "I... I can't believe that you would think so little of me that you couldn't tell me this." Jeff listened to this and could feel his anger start to build up, "what!?" Jeff stood up, "You mean because I was afraid that you'd leave me like you did?" Mark paced in frustration, "no, Jeff. Shit. That's not what I meant." Jeff huffed, "well, tell me. What did you mean?" Mark stopped to look at him, "I meant that I loved you and had you told me before we wouldn't be in this situation now and I wouldn't be worried about hurting the two people I care for."
Jeff stopped and had to sit back down. Mark turned his back towards Jeff. He hadn't planned on telling Jeff about him and Randy like this; he wasn't sure if he had wanted to tell Jeff about him and Randy at all, but it was now out on the table where he couldn't take it back. He had tried to keep everyone involved from getting hurt, but now there was no hope for that. Someone was going to get hurt, but he wasn't sure yet who it would be. Mark finally turned back to look at Jeff and saw that he had a blank stare on his face and his eyes were noticeably moist.
"What the hell have I done?" Mark asked. "Jeff, I'm sorry, this situation wasn't your fault. I put you in this position. I'm the one who wanted us to talk this all out, but I was wrong, this wasn't what I wanted to happen." Jeff finally looked up at Mark, "so what am I trying to fight for? What am I trying to hold onto?" Jeff chuckled, "I thought that if I didn't try to talk to you, that i'd lose you forever for good. And all this time you probably just wanted to clear your own conscience. This wasn't about me and you getting through this, this was about you wrapping up old business." Mark shook his head and sat next to Jeff, "no, no Jeff. This... this conversation this situation is about me and you. I still feel something for you Jeff and I just wanted us to be okay. How many years were we together? How can I just let that go? I can't." Jeff let his head drop into his hands. "Who is it? Randy, isn't it." Mark said nothing. "I knew it. Man, I knew there was something up last night. You guys were there, right in front of my face and I just ignored it." Mark put his hand on Jeff's knee, "come on, Jeff. You have to know that I'm not trying to hurt you, I just wanted us to be okay." Jeff snorted, "don't touch me, Mark." he said as he moved Mark's hand. "Well, fine. If that's what you want, fine. We're okay. No hard feelings. You're free to pursue your relationship guilt free."
With that said Jeff stood up and walked back to the sauna room. As much as Mark wanted to follow him, he knew that it would be pointless. There was nothing he could do to make Jeff feel better about the situation they were all in; he wasn't even sure how to make himself feel better about it. Sitting there, Mark heard the door open again and looked up, hoping it would be Jeff, but instead, it was the other guys.
"Mark, what happened?" Chris asked. "Jeff's in there balling. What's going on?" Phil added. Mark just shook his head, not wanting to explain anything. "Whatever it is, I hope you guys can get past it because Jeff's a mess." Phil said. "Jeff's a mess and you know that there's nothing and no one that can help him like you can. You can't let him get back to a place he was a few years ago." Chris and Phil waited for Mark to say something. "What do you want me to say? I know I need to fix this mess that i've caused." he snapped at them. When Mark saw the two men take a step back, "look, i'm sorry guys, I just... I know I've done nothing but make things worse for Jeff. I'm going to fix it; I know he can't get like that again." Chris and Phil just nodded, "we'll talk to you later, Mark." Mark just nodded and leaned back against the wall as Chris and Phil stepped into the elevator.
What the fuck did you do, Mark? You just went and made this whole fucking situation even worse. How in the hell can you expect Jeff to forgive you? What the hell were you even expecting? And why in the hell did you have to bring up Randy? He's done nothing but help you. Now he's going to get hurt too. You've actually managed to fuck everything up for everyone involved.
Mark wasn't sure what he was going to do or what he could say to make things better, but he knew he had to try something. He was going to wait for Jeff and if Matt didn't attack him, he was going to try to make Jeff talk to him again and clear everything once and for all.
xXx
After about ten minutes, Mark was fidgeting around; he couldn't keep still. Finally, the door opened up and he watched a very angry Matt and Jeff, with a tear streaked face walk towards him. Mark stood up, swallowing his heart that was pounding in his throat.
"Jeff." Mark started, "can we please talk about this?" Matt glared at Mark, "you need to just back off, Mark. I tried to help, but you screwed this all up. Again." Mark stood in front of the brothers, "Matt, I know that you're just trying to protect Jeff, but please, stay out of this. This is between Jeff and me." He looked directly at Jeff, who had his head down towards the floor, "Jeff, after all we've been through; you have to know that when I say I still care about you, I'm only speaking the truth. I know i've hurt you and I know i'm hurting you again, but please, just talk to me. I can't let things stay this way." Matt tried to push past Mark, but failed, "Mark. Back off now. It's over. Just leave him alone." Mark moved to wipe the tears off of Jeff's face. "Jeff, you know me. I can't leave you alone. Not knowing that you're hurting because of something I did. Not again. That's why I wanted to talk to you to begin with; I hurt you then and I needed to clear things up and make sure that you were okay." Jeff tried so hard to be tough and not want to crawl into Mark's arms, just hoping to find the comfort he always found before. "How can you say that to me, Mark?" Jeff asked, "how can you say that you want me to be okay? That you don't want me to hurt anymore? You couldn't even wait a few months to find a new fuck buddy." Matt looked at his brother and moved from his side, letting Jeff talk to Mark on his own. "Don't speak about Randy like that, Jeff. You aren't the kind to talk about your friends like that. And if you have to wonder why I would want you to be happy, then I screwed up a lot worse than I thought." Jeff knew that he shouldn't say such things about Randy. He hadn't done anything to receive treatment like that, but he had quickly grown to dislike his friend. "Jeff, I don't know what you want me to say to you. I wish I could just say a word and make this all go away, but I can't. All I can say is that I still care about you and that..." Mark paused, trying to find the words he wanted to use, "I still love you." Hearing Mark say those words almost broke Matt's heart. Jeff wasn't even sure he'd heard them, but when he felt Mark wrap his arms around him. "Jeff, I don't want to keep hurting you, but I just can't seem to find the right words to say to you. I'm not looking for your forgiveness; I'm looking for your friendship again. I need to start somewhere."
Jeff wasn't sure what to say. He loved Mark, he couldn't deny it, but he also knew that there was a lot of stuff that they both would have to sit down and talk about.
"Mark, I can't. Not right now." Jeff whispered. "That's okay. Can we just try to work this out sometime? I don't want to lose you completely, Jeff." Jeff nodded and looked to Matt who was having a hard time keeping quiet. There was so much that he wanted to tell his little brother, but he knew that this wasn't the time to do so.
"Let's go, Matt." Matt nodded and pressed the button on the elevator. When the doors opened, Jeff walked in and looked straight at Mark, giving him a weak smile. When the doors closed, Mark let out a sigh. Suddenly, his cell phone in his pocket went off. Mark took it out and looked at it.
Hey kid. What are you up to? Get a chance to talk to Jeff yet? -RKO
With another sigh, Mark rested his forehead against the elevator door.
I hope you know what you're getting into, Mark.
Mark didn't have the heart to answer Randy's message right away, so instead, he went back to their hotel room to shower and change. Of course, he couldn't keep his thoughts from racing through his head. He hadn't really planned on his actions, but believing that they were not true would be silly. The words he spoke to Jeff were true; he definitely still felt love for him, but all the guilt and thoughts of hurting Randy because of his actions earlier, said that he held those same feelings for Randy as well.
Finally, when Mark was showered, dressed and tired of his thoughts, he pulled his phone out of his bag. He read Randy's message a few times over until he was ready to respond.
Yes, I did. Not sure if it cleared anything up. See you tonight.
With a groan, Mark sent the message and hoped that he could figure something out before Randy came back from Raw. Silently, after about fifteen minutes, he had to thank Randy for either being to busy to check his messages or for just not replying.
xXx
Some of the others had called Mark up and asked if he wanted to head out for lunch, but he was in no mood to be surrounded by people. Mark stayed in his room and contemplated several ways to try and amend the things he'd done to get him, and the two other people involved, into such a mess. Finally, Mark decided that he couldn't deal with the situation until he talked to Randy about it.
In the time he spent laying there and trying to straighten the mess out in his head, he came to the conclusion that he really, truly cared about Randy and how everything was going to affect him. He knew how important it was to make sure Jeff was okay in all of this, but making sure that Randy was okay and wouldn't be hurt, no matter the conclusion, was Mark's new goal.
Tired of thinking about everything, Mark drifted off into a restless sleep. When he awoke, he noticed the light on his phone flashing. He reached over to the side table and grabbed it.
We'll talk about it when I get back, if you want. Should be heading back in an hour. - RKO
Mark looked at when the message was sent. Two hours ago.
Turning on the television, Mark found Monday Night Raw and watched as he waited for Randy to return. Half way into the show, his phone went off with the song Randy had made the ringtone for his number - his theme song, of course.
Going to stop for some grub, want anything? - RKO
Mark had to smile at the simple, but thoughtful gesture. He'd slept through lunch and dinner and was feeling it in his stomach.
Yes, slept through lunch and dinner. I'm starving. Thanks.
xXx
Forty minutes had passed and finally, a tired Randy walked through the door; his gym bag, WWE title belt, food and a grocery store bag in his arms. Mark laughed at the sight and grabbed the food, bags and belt from his arms.
"Thank you," Randy told him. "You're welcome," Mark replied with a smile. After setting his stuff down, Randy took off his jacket and threw himself on the bed. Mark had put the food on the table and turned to look at Randy. "Rough night at the workplace?" Mark asked. "Yes." Randy said, sitting up. After a moment, he stood up to join Mark at the table. "So, tell me what happened with Jeff," he started, "is everything okay with you guys now?" Mark took a bite of his food, hoping to avoid the question as long as possible. Knowing that he needed, and even wanted, to talk to Randy about what was happening, it didn't make it any easier to actually doing it.
Mark swallowed his food and Randy asked again, "what happened? Tell me." Mark cleared his throat and began, "I made a mistake." Randy's face flashed with concern, "no, it wasn't a mistake. I meant what I said." Mark finished. "What did you say?" Randy asked, pushing his food away, suddenly not very hungry. "That I love him. I said I still loved him." Mark sighed. "I see," was all Randy could say. "This afternoon, after I talked to Jeff, I realized that what I had said was wrong. Whether I meant, or how I meant it, isn't the point, the point is that I shouldn't be playing these games with him." Randy nodded, eyes away from the man sitting across from him, "Or you." Mark added. "I'm not trying to play games here, Randy. I don't want you to feel like you're getting the raw deal here. I don't want Jeff to get hurt anymore than he already has, but I haven't forgotten about you. I don't want to hurt you either. I just tend to get myself in deeper trouble every time I open my mouth." Mark tried to joke. "So, what does this mean?" Randy asked. "If you need to talk to him again and straighten everything out, you should do that; you need to. There's no reason to leave him wondering. Jeff's a good guy and doesn't deserve to be hurting like I'm sure he still is. I'm sure that he's got a million questions running through his head right now." Mark was shocked at how calm and how genuinely concerned Randy was for Jeff's well-being. Being so collective about the situation, that he was forced into, just made Mark appreciate Randy's maturity even more.
Mark had to laugh at Randy's concern. "What's so funny?" Randy asked. "You. How are you so damned calm about this whole mess?" Mark asked him in return. "What do you mean? We're all adults in this pretty shitty situation, being jealous or acting childish about it isn't going to make anything better." Mark still couldn't believe Randy was so understanding. "Mark, I really care about you, and I appreciate your concern; it's something to hold onto in all this, but you don't need to worry about me. This has to be pretty stressful for you, so don't worry about me. I know your situation with Jeff and how important it is that you guys get things right. You guys have a lot of history to just walk away from." Mark looked down, ashamed that he'd let things get so complicated. Here he was trying to fix all of his wrongs and Randy was nothing but a trooper through it all.
"Thank you," Mark said, "for being so great through this. I know this isn't a situation you really wanted to be in, but thank you for dealing with it as best as possible." Randy gave him a small smile. Mature about the situation, he could be, but he really didn't feel too confidant about his place in it all. Mark and Jeff had something that he didn't have - history. No matter what happens, there would always be something between them, something he couldn't deny, although that isn't what I wanted. He never intended for them to forget about each other, he just figured that once they got everything out of the way, it'd leave Mark to him, if that's what Mark wanted too.
xXx
Mark noticed the hesitation in Randy and in an effort to assure the younger man of his place, he reached out and hooked his hand on the back of Randy's neck and pulled him closer to press their lips together. After a moment of hesitation on Randy's part, he quickly melted into the action and allowed Mark the entrance he was looking for. Once the two parted for the air they both needed, Mark stood up, Randy's hand in his and led them both to the bed. Mark sat Randy near the corner of the bed and walked behind him. Slowly, Mark used his talented hands to work out the tension and stiffness in his neck and soon Randy was slumping against him in relaxation. As Mark tried to continue his ministrations, he told Randy to remove the shirt he had one so that he could get better access. After Randy did as he was asked, Mark continued to rub the knots and kinks out. Before he knew it, Mark found himself trailing kisses from Randy's ear to the nape of his neck and across his shoulders, as his hands began roaming on their own accord.
"Is this okay?" Mark asked, after the discussion they had just had, he didn't want to put Randy into the position to do something he may not want to do. "I was pretty tired, but I think I can manage a little time for this." Randy said as he stood up, kicked off his shoes, unbuckled his jeans and slid them down his sculpted quads and let them fall into a pile with his discarded shirt, leaving him in his boxer briefs. He sat at the top of the bed and with his arms folded under his head, waited for Mark to follow.
Mark removed his own clothing and left himself with only his boxer briefs as well. He moved so that he straddled the smaller man and dipped his head down to catch his lips once more. Randy's arm moved to the back of Mark's neck and guided it to his neck as he moved his mouth to Mark's. Mark's tongue lavished the spots that he'd just nipped at and with one hand pushed Randy's head up so that he could attack his Adam's apple and show it the same treatment he had to his neck. After a moment doing that, Mark moved further down his body and allowed Randy to enjoy the attention he was showing his chest and pecs. Smiling down at Randy, who was enjoying the friction his movements were doing to him, Mark slid his mouth over his naval and nipped at the taut skin as he shimmied the boxer briefs down, exposing his flesh little by little. Just before he fully exposed him, Mark cupped the member and then ran his hand roughly across it, eliciting a hiss from the Viper. Mark smirked at the effect his actions were causing. He continued this motion a few more times, roughly pushing down on Randy's hardness and then moving his hand across it again, earning more hisses and groans, loving the way Mark's actions hurt so good. Quickly, Mark changed his actions from rough and fast to soft and slow. He rubbed just the tip, through the material, with a light touch, and smiled again when Randy's hips moved up into his hand, hoping for more contact.
When Mark realized that Randy was far passed the point of no return, he moved back up the length of his body and with one hand still teasing him below, he turned his attention to Randy's mouth. Mark's tongue made its way into Randy's slacked mouth and made sure to note the velvety feel of his against Randy's. Mark pulled back and moved to the side of his face and whispered into his ear, "are you sure you want this? We don't have to keep going." Randy sucked in the cold air as he felt the hot breath of Mark's whisper on his ear and neck. He smirked, "no, we definitely need to finish this now." Mark smiled, that was all that he needed to hear. "Now stop with the fucking teasing and finish what you started." After another heated kiss, Mark moved back down his body to finish what he had started, "whatever you say, Orton."
Mark pulled the boxer briefs down and off of the man underneath him, and before taking the head of Randy's throbbing cock into his mouth, he licked just the tip and blew on it softly, enjoying the look on his face as he did so. With Randy writhing under him, Mark took the whole length into his hot mouth and started to suck softly. Hearing the groans and moans coming from Randy, only encouraged his actions. Soon, Mark's mouth was working and sucking harder on Randy's length. Randy unable to keep his movements under control moved his hand and tangled it in Mark's hair, urging him to move faster. He could feel his hips starting to buck against Mark's mouth and he couldn't keep his sounds contained any more, "fuck! Mark... shit." Hearing Randy continued to fuel Mark and soon he was reaching for his own painfully hard cock, looking for relief. "Ugh. Yeah. Fuck. Yes." Randy shouted, "Mark... fuck, i'm so close, just..." Mark picked up his pace, his own hand grabbing, squeezing and tugging on his member to keep up. "Ugh. Yeah, Mark. Fuck." Randy bucked up, his release emptying into Mark's mouth.
When he was completely spent, Mark sat up and used his free hand to keep his balance as he pushed his tongue into Randy's open mouth. Randy broke away from Mark's mouth and let his hand slide down Mark's body and take over his motions. Mark let his mouth roam over Randy's neck again and allowed him to take over. Randy's hand wrapped around Mark's cock and slid up and down on it. He stopped for a moment and allowed himself to run his thumb over the tip and then used just his thumb and index finger to tug from just under the head. "Stop fucking teasing already," Mark warned through short breaths, "get me off already." Randy grabbed Mark by the base of his thick shaft and began jerking his hand at a quicker pace, trying to get him off, "whatever you say, Callaway." Mark rested his head against Randy's shoulder and moaned, "come on, Randy. Faster. Shit." Randy quickened his pace again then suddenly pushed Mark back onto the bed, yanked off his boxer briefs and took the entire length into his mouth and sucked hard. The whole act took Mark by surprise at first, but soon Randy had him moaning and swearing, his hand now at the back of Randy's head, guiding him. Mark lifted his head and saw Randy's head bobbing up and down on his cock, cheeks hallowed out. One hand held the base of Mark's prick and with the other; he let his fingers whisper over the skin of Mark's hip and the sex lines that formed a 'V' shape. The sight was enough to drive Mark over the edge and he came, shouting Randy's name and he felt him swallow all that he had spilled.
"Shit, Randy." Mark said when he was finally able to regain control of his breathing. "Good?" Randy asked. Mark chuckled, "pretty fucking incredible." Randy laughed as he slid up to Mark's side to lay his head on the crook of his shoulder. "Well, maybe next time I'll put a little more effort into and see how you like that." Mark turned his head to look at Randy, "the night is young." Randy laughed, "you're insatiable, Mark. Thought old guys couldn't go for very long?" This time Mark laughed, "we can test that theory, if you'd like." Randy yawned and moved closer to Mark, "give me a minute, and you got it."
Mark yawned too and when he looked down again, Randy's eyes were shut and his breathing was even, telling Mark he was asleep. "yeah. I'm the one who can't keep up, huh?" Mark moved and twisted around, trying not to wake him, and finally managed to get the blanked over them. Mark turned on his side and draped his arm across Randy's chest. His last thought before sleep took over him was how incredibly important it was to make sure that Randy wasn't going to end up getting hurt. No matter how much he said that he didn't need to worry about him, Mark knew that that wouldn't be possible. Randy had a firm grasp on him now and he wasn't ready to screw everything up with him as well.
Happy Thanksgiving. hope everyone had a great and safe holiday.
alright. another chapter posted. looking forward to REVIEWS. as fellow writers, you all know that fuzzy feeling you get when you see a new REVIEW on one of your stories.
i had a bit of trouble writing this, lost a little confidence, but i'm happy with it. i hope you all enjoy it. please say so in your REVIEW! also, i tried a different style of writing. i noticed in my last chapter that everything was way too spaced out. hope this is a little better. well, go REVIEW! thanks so much. really appreciate it.
-ftlow