"I'm the reason for you doing this again?" Mark asked in confusion. His guilt was again eating at him. Of course, he caused so much pain to Jeff in the past, it wasn't that far-fetched to understand how he could have attributed to Jeff's poor decision making. Jeff could see how deflated the usually tall and confidant man had suddenly become. He cursed himself for his poor choice of words. "That isn't exactly what I meant." Jeff tried to cover up, but it was no use.

Mark's shoulders slumped as he thought of what he could say to what Jeff had admitted. He took a deep breathe and said, "Jeff, I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to be so hurt over my actions. I should have just left you alone. I didn't mean for you to feel so trapped that you had to resort to this again." Mark rambled on, unsure of what he really meant and needed to say. Jeff stood once again and tried to comfort the larger man; tell him he didn't need to apologize. He could hear the guilt in Mark's voice and he truly hated himself for saying what he had said. When Mark paused for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts, Jeff walked closer to him, "I misspoke. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. This isn't your fault," he told the older man. "This is all my fault. I should have realized that I was making things harder for you. With Randy, and you and Randy, I just didn't see what was happening. I shouldn't have pushed you as much as I have; and I shouldn't have just left you that night."

Mark stopped pacing and stood in front of the smaller man. Jeff froze at those words. "Do you mean that, Mark?" he asked. "That you shouldn't have left that night." Mark thought for a second, trying to carefully choose his words. "I've said I was tired of apologizing, but seeing you so broken again and knowing that I am the reason for it… I can't help but want to beg for your forgiveness. I never wanted this whole mess, Jeff." he paused again, then answered the question. "Yes. I wish I would have done something differently that night."

Before he could say anything else, Jeff grabbed the other man's face in his hands and smashed their lips together. Shocked at first, Mark remained still. His brain told him to pull away. This wasn't what he had come here for. Jeff silently pleaded for Mark to relax though; to just give in, and finally, grabbing Jeff's hips and parting his lips for Jeff, Mark gave in.

When the need for oxygen became to overwhelming, they parted.

"Jeff…" Mark trailed off, searching for something to say. "We can't go back and fix our mistakes. What's happened has happened. You and I weren't good together anymore. We won't-"

"I never wanted any of this either." Jeff interrupted, not wanting to hear what else Mark had to say.

The effects of Jeff's drug use were certainly in action. Naturally a very energetic person, his drug of choice often caused him to relax. While he was high, he felt much bolder and confidant then he really was. His decision to kiss Mark was certainly an act of boldness. With his confidence soaring, Jeff expressed his feelings.

"I made more mistakes with you than I can remember, but you always forgave me. It's the least I can do to forgive you." Jeff said, his breathing no longer labored. "But please don't think that this was all your fault. It wasn't; it never has been. I make my decisions. Like I chose to believe that by you leaving to be with your family, it meant you didn't have enough love for me as well. I was wrong. You always had enough for me. I wanted you, but I couldn't let you in completely. That was my mistake. I've always caused my own heartache, Mark. You only did everything you could to prove how much you did love me. If not for my mistakes, neither one of us would be in the position we're in. I'm sorry. I would give anything to just take it all back and save us both so much hurt." Mark could hear all of the pain and sadness in Jeff. He hated it and, in an instant, decided to end it.

This time, before Jeff could say anything else, Mark was the one to press their lips together. Jeff wasn't hesitant however. He wanted everything Mark offered him; he couldn't deny that. With their tongues dueling for dominance, Jeff walked backwards, heading for the bed. When the backs of his knees felt the bed frame, Jeff dropped down; pulling Mark with him. Mark followed suit, holding up his larger frame above Jeff's.

All the feelings Mark had for Jeff were poured into the kisses he gave him. Though all of these renewed feelings felt so familiar to him, Mark knew that they felt different as well. But with Jeff sprawled underneath him, his lust for the younger man grew faster than his senses.

All he knew in that moment was Jeff. All he felt was need to rid them both of their pain and guilt over hurting one another. They both hurt each other, and he just wanted to make them forget it all.

Mark sat up a bit, Jeff still attached to his lips; his hands fumbled with Jeff's belt. He needed Jeff at that very moment, and by moans escaping Jeff's lips as Mark's hand brushed against his groin, Jeff needed him too. Jeff's mouth searched for Mark's pulse and when he found it, he sucked on the flesh, secretly hoping to leave a mark for all the world to see.

"Shit." Mark muttered as he struggled to pull the clothing from Jeff's body. As much as he didn't want to, Jeff pushed him back a bit and rid himself of his clothing. Mark did the same, pausing long enough to take a condom out of a small metal case in his jeans.

With that goal accomplished, they now had no restrictions between them. Their mouths devoured the one another and Jeff's hands roamed, pinched and rubbed at the larger body on top of him. Mark tore open the small foil package and sheathed his aching manhood.

"I need you so bad." Jeff whispered. His eyes were glazed over with lust and told Mark to hurry and rid them both of what they had done in the past.

Jeff wrapped his arms around his neck and with a grunt, Mark plunged into the tight heat he'd once known so well. Jeff suppressed his own grunt as he was filled completely my Mark. It hurt, but he knew, like with all the hurt they'd caused each other before, it would all go away soon. Jeff hissed at the sensations he was feeling, but soon his moans filled the room. Mark drove his hips deep into Jeff's. The heat and tightness of Jeff's opening was almost too much for him, but he continued to thrust into the man beneath him. Mark's mouth latched onto Jeff's neck. He kissed and nibbled on the soft skin as Jeff threw his head back, thrusting his hips up to meet Mark's. Within just a few minutes, it was all becoming too much for them both. Mark reached between them and grabbed Jeff's member in his large hand and pumped in time with his hips.

Hearing Jeff's moans grow in his ear and then suddenly quiet down was a sign Mark knew meant he was almost ready to come undone. Mark swiftly changed his position, hoisting one of Jeff's legs to rest on the bed frame as he drove further into oblivion. Quickening his hand's pace, Mark coaxed Jeff into the abyss with him. "Please don't hurt anymore," Mark whispered to him, just before taking his mouth once again. Jeff placed one of his own hands over Mark's and with a buck of his hips let his release spill over their stomachs. Jeff's body clenching down on his cock, and his hips still rolling against Mark's was the last bit for his undoing. Both men held their eyes shut as they both gasped for air and their bodies relaxed.

Jeff's phone ringing was what drew them out of their bliss. "Oh shit, that's probably Matt." he said. Mark stood up on shaky knees and gathered his clothes. "I should have called him to let him know everything was alright." he told Jeff. "I better leave before he gets back. Will you be alright on your own until then?" Jeff nodded, "yeah, I'm okay now." he smiled. After both men were dressed, Jeff planted another searing kiss to Mark's lips, which he gladly returned. "Are you sure you'll be alright, Jeff? I don't want to leave you by yourself." Mark asked concerned. Again Jeff nodded, "I didn't use very much, I'll be fine in a few hours. I promise. Please don't worry about me. Besides, Matt will probably be here soon. You need to go." He let his thumb trail over the faint red mark on Mark's neck. "I was hoping I would leave a mark." Jeff admitted with a small smile. "So that everyone could see." he added.

It was in that moment, in those words that realization hit Mark. He didn't immediately regret what he and Jeff had just done, but a new wave of guilt soon overtook him. Before Jeff could catch on to what he was thinking, Mark made for the door. He turned around and told Jeff he'd be going home in the morning, but that he wanted to see him when he came back to work.

He wasn't even sure what he wanted to see Jeff about when he returned. His heart told him it was to set the record straight on what had just happened between them, but his head told him there would be no one to go back to if he did cut off ties with Jeff.

The walk back to his hotel room was a sobering one. He couldn't wrap his head around what he'd done. He never once even entertained the idea of sleeping with another man while he was with Jeff. How could he have betrayed Randy in that manner? Randy, a man who was a prince through everything he and Jeff had put him through.

He hoped that Randy could forgive him for the suffering just once more, but he couldn't fully convince himself that that would be the outcome.

xXx

For goodness sake, I first published this story in Jan. 2009! The last time I updated was Jan. 2011! It's almost 2012!

I know I said this the last time, but I do really mean it now, I promise to start updating more often. I'll shoot for a chapter a month and see where that goes.

Please, please, please - I hope that you all haven't forgotten about this tale of three men in a love triangle. I hope that you enjoy this chapter and will review it. Please.

I will get started on the next chapter as soon as I get a review. I pinky promise! So, please review and let me know if my writing has improved in the 8 months I've been away.

THANK YOU! to all those who still want to see an end to this story. We're getting closer, I swear.

REVIEW!