A Christmas miracle
Linnie: Hi everyone, today I'm going to be announcing the acts for the school talent shows. We have three categories today. On-stage performer, sports skill, and an art competition. We have some of the finest acts the schools, middle school and the high school, have to offer. First up on stage is Buzz McAllister, who'll be doing a comedy act.
Buzz: Thanks Ramona Flowers (audience laughs) Linnie stares at Buzz as she walks off stage. Covering her blue hair. So I was watching the middle school kids throwing the footballs as far as they could earlier, what a surprise. They could throw it as far as there foot! That must have been at least 4 foot looking at the size of them. (Buzz continues to tell jokes)
Kevin is stood with his friends at the art competition.
Ryan: Kevin, you should do stick men as an entry, that would be so funny.
Kevin: Well it won't hurt, I mean, there not going to win. (Kevin draws some stick men shooting each other) Done, now I've got to get on stage.
Liam: What have you done?
Ryan: I'm the one delivering the results to Linnie, they could always change between the judges and the announcement.
Liam: Sneaky, I like it.
Kevin walks on to the stage.
Linnie: So next up is Kevin McAllister, doing a rendition from "Angels with Filthy souls".
Kevin: I'm going to give you to the count of ten...
Ryan(to Liam): Oh my god.
Kevin: One, Two, Ten! Aaaahhhhhhhhh ha ha ha!(shooting imaginary gun around.)
Linnie: Thank you Kevin, now I think that's it everyone. And I have to say it's the second worst experience of my life. The worst, of course, was when I was captured by a group of rogue mime artists. They did unspeakable things to me.(Audience laughs) So now the results are in for the art competition. It has been won by Kevin McAllister! For his drawing "Men de Stick" And we have an esteemed guest to review Kevin's work. A renowned Chicago art critic- John Hanson.
John: Thank you Linnie, (Linnie hands him the scrappy drawing of a stick men shooting each other with guns.) This just looks like a bet made to someone to draw stick men in a fine art competition,(Ryan smiles at Kevin on stage) however, to me this represents the way that art has become too complicated over the years, and should go back to its roots from when it started in caves. So well done Mr McAllister.(Kevin smiles at Ryan)
John presents Kevin with a sketch pad and a pack of drawing pencils.
School principal walks on stage.
Principal: Thank you for that Mr Hanson, now people, Linnie is unable to announce the winner of the stage competition, for a special reason, looking at the sickeningly low level of talent displayed today, we have decided that only one person deserves an award, so Linnie herself is the winner. I, myself, am still cracking up about the joke about mime-artists. Excellent work!
Audience claps.
Buzz: No! I didn't win anything!