A/N: Thank you so much to my betas the-lady-of-mishaven, zengoalie, and o-u-a-timer.

Also, thank you for all of your comments, follows, and favorites...they made my day. A lot of you want to know why Emma left and if there will be a happy ending... I assure you all will be revealed in time.

Hold on to your seats because her come a heafty dose of angst from Emma (did I mention that each chapter will change between Killian and Emma's pov?).

DISCLAIMER: I do not own OUAT or its characters.

Five years ago

Late. It was the story of her life. No matter how much she planned ahead or how early she left, she always seemed to be running late. Sighing to herself, Emma stared out of the bus windows to watch the town pass by. She wished they had a car so she could get herself to where she needed to be on time. Who was she kidding? She would still be late even if they owned a car.

Luckily, Killian loved her despite her faults. He would understand, he always did. Losing track of time at the library had not been a part of her plan. It was just...she had a huge test in the morning. The final exam for the final class of her college career.

The bus came to a halt with a sudden jerk causing her to fly forward in her seat, head hitting the back of the chair in front of her. Perfect. As if her day couldn't get any worse. Rising quickly, she stumbled out of her seat and yanked her bookbag over her shoulders. Sifting through the bodies and various outstretched limbs of those in front of her, she fought her way towards the exit.

When the bus doors finally closed behind her, Emma took a moment to breathe in the fresh air. It had been hot on the bus. Combine that with the amount of people riding and it wasn't surprising that the smell had been unpleasant.

Hoisting her bag further up her shoulder, Emma hustled into the apartment building in front of her. Her lips lifted in a grin. Killian would be waiting. She craved these moments alone with him like her lungs craved air.

He had been working so hard lately, the whole band had. After finally being signed to a label, The Dashing Rapscallions had thrown themselves into writing and producing their first studio album - aptly titled 'Finding Neverland.' She felt like a proud mama bear watching her boys become the successful musicians she'd always known they could be.

Which is why she was so annoyed that she was running late. The album was being released tonight. She and Killian wanted to spend a quiet night at home, just husband and wife, and listen for reports about the release. He needed her to be there.

She nearly dropped her keys in the rush to open the door. Finally shoving her way inside, she was met with only darkness. Where was he? Her bookbag landed in a heap in the corner as she toed off her shoes. Maybe he was already asleep? She hesitated turning the light on in case he was.

She placed a hand on the wall and used that to guide her. The rest of the very small apartment was just as dark. Once in the living room, Emma turned toward the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks.

Killian Jones, her husband, was sitting on their kitchen table. He was dressed in his favorite transformers pajama pants. The same ones he had since their freshman year. These are autobots, Swan. Bloody hell, decepticons are the bad guys. Her comment had earned her a weekend marathon of Transformers movies - one she had secretly enjoyed, not that she would ever tell him. His plain white t-shirt clung to his chest in the most delicious of ways. She bit her lip in order to hold back a groan. Only her husband could make Transformers pajama pants sexy.

His dark hair was disheveled, as it always was. It had that natural windswept look that so many men tried to imitate. Killian's was from running his fingers through it constantly or from her own fingers when the need arose. His eyes met hers and all she could see was excitement and happiness. It made her feel lighter. If someone ever wanted to know what Killian was feeling all they needed to do was look into his eyes. His lips curled into a smile as he caught sight of her.

In the middle of the table was a single lit candle, its flame giving the room a kind of ethereal glow. A glass of wine sat next to him. Hers was on the other side of the table, the bottle placed in the middle. How the hell did she get so lucky?

He was the best thing to have ever happened to her. Somehow, despite all of her attempts otherwise, he had broken through her walls and taken up residence in her heart. It had not been an easy process - for either of them. There had been fights, many of them. But they always came back to each other and they always would.

She knew in her heart that they were forever.

"Killian, I am so sorry I'm late. I got caught up studying and lost track of…" He shook his head and placed his hand in the air to stop her rambling. She knew the gesture meant that she was forgiven, not that he was ever angry in the first place.

Nodding, she gave him a grateful smile as she walked over to meet him. As soon as she was within arm's reach, Killian's hand snaked out and pulled her body to his, lips finding hers. She melted against him, his kisses had a way of doing that to her. One hand curled around the back of his head and buried itself in his hair while the other rested on the hard surface of his chest. All of the tension left her body as she continued to kiss him. She could kiss him for hours honestly. Breaking the kiss, his forehead came to rest on hers.

"That was quite some welcome." Her voice was hoarse, reflecting the want that simmered on the surface.

"We're number one."

Her world stopped. Did he just say what she thought he did? Biting her lip she lifted her eyes to meet his, finding only amusement there.

"Wha...What?" She needed him to explain further. It was like her brain needed a minute to catch up.

"The album. It debuted at number one on the charts today." His eyes contained barely restrained excitement as his lips rose in a satisfied smirk.

"You're number one? YOU'RE NUMBER ONE?!" It felt like electricity charged the room. Her skin hummed in excitement. He had done it. They had done it! Her heart was beating rapidly. Placing both hands on his face, she gave him a huge smile. "Killian, you did it!"

"Aye, lass. We did it and I owe it all to you! Without you, Mrs. Jones, I would be nothing." He brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Warmth rose to her cheeks. He was always doing this, always making her feel like she was the most important thing in the world to him. Even on a day like today, a day where all of his dreams had come true, she was the first thing on his mind.

Grinning, she placed her lips gently on his. He was most definitely the most important person in her life.

He always would be.

Jerking the car into an empty space, Emma slammed the transmission into park. Tears tracked down her cheeks landing in tiny droplets on her shirt. Balling her hands into fists, she hit the steering wheel over and over again. Why had he come home? He had been in LA for two weeks. Two freaking weeks. He didn't even call her when she needed him, but he made sure to be home when she didn't want him there.

Her heart twisted painfully in her chest, hand coming to rest over her mouth. Never in all of the years she had known Killian, loved Killian, did she ever think that there would be a moment she didn't want him there. Yet, here she was.

Her body started to shake as her shoulders sagged, a sob escaped her throat. What was she going to do? How was she going to survive this mess? It was going to be hell. The media would make it hell. She could see the headlines now: Single at Last: Killian Jones, Lead Singer of The Dashing Rapscallions and People's Sexiest Man Alive, splits from Wife. or something worse. There wouldn't be a magazine that wasn't covering the story.

She had never been so happy to live in Storybrooke and not LA. At least the media stayed away from here. The residents of the small town had made it perfectly clear that the media was not welcome there. That was why she stayed, why she insisted Killian and her live here. They could lead a normal life, without the constant interference of the media.

Lifting her hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks, Emma flipped the visor down to look in the mirror. She wasn't surprised by what she saw. Dull, lifeless, red-rimmed, and swollen green eyes stared back at her. Cheeks stained with tear tracks. The tip of her nose was red from wiping it. Her skin was pale and grayish. Sighing, she pushed the visor back into its place. There was no point in cleaning herself up when she was just going to break down again later.

Pushing the car door open, Emma grabbed the single small suitcase she had brought with her. Not the most ideal situation, but she had to get away from Killian, and his pleading eyes, before she let her heart guide her and stay. After all of this time listening to her heart, it was time to let her head do the talking. Even if doing so meant ripping her own heart out and stomping on it.

Ruby's apartment was the first one on the main floor of the building. So similar to the apartment they had lived in before everything had changed. Hoping her friend was not working her shift at the bar tonight, Emma swiftly knocked on the door. Footsteps sounded from inside and Emma felt some of her tension release. At least this was working out in her favor.

The door opened revealing a very confused Ruby.

"Emma? What are you doing here so late?" Ruby tilted her head slightly to the side. Her lips turned down as her eyebrows bunched together.

"I'm…" It felt like her throat was closing in on itself. Her eyes welled with tears as her heart thumped rapidly. She couldn't to talk about what happened. Her lip quivered as she slowly shook her head. Why did it feel like she would never feel happy again?

"Oh, Emma." Ruby surged forward wrapping Emma in her arms.

The gesture was meant to be comforting, she knew that, but it wasn't. Her body craved another set of arms, ones that were on the other side of town. Ones that belonged to the man she had just walked away from. Sobs wracked through her body and she was helpless to stop them. A feeling of emptiness settled in her chest. Ruby pulled her tighter against her body.

She wanted to run. She wanted to stay. It was like her entire being had been split into two, both halves pulling her in very opposite directions. She could see his eyes as she walked out. His pleading eyes as he reached for her.

Talk to me. Please. Don't do this.

Legs giving out, she tumbled to the ground bringing Ruby with her. Why was this so hard? Why did she have to care so much? She had never wanted to hurt him. She was so tired, of being alone, of feeling this ache in her chest, of being placed second in her husband's life.

Ruby's hand came up to pat her gently on the head. They rocked back and forth as if Emma were a young child who needed to be comforted.

"It will be okay, Emma. I'm here. I've got you." Ruby's voice in her ear was soft, comforting, but it did nothing to subside Emma's tears.

Nothing was okay and it wouldn't be for a very long time.

Turning on her back, a small sigh escaped as Emma rubbed her eyes. Ruby's couch was definitely not as comfortable as her bed at home, but that wasn't the reason she had gotten so little sleep.

No, all night her thoughts plagued her. Was she doing the right thing? If she was, then why did she miss him so much? Ever since she had closed the door to their home an emptiness had settled in her chest, an emptiness that she couldn't seem to shake.

Something had to change, if it didn't she would wind up hating him. Her gut twisted. No, she didn't want to hate him, she just wanted to be happy. It was breaking her heart to leave him, but it would break her if she stayed. Gently placing her hand over her abdomen, Emma rose off the couch. She didn't feel as bad today, which was a good thing.

Running her fingers through her long locks, Emma turned the corner to see Ruby putting the finishing touches on two plates of pancakes. She had never been so thankful to have a friend like Ruby. Catching Ruby's eye and giving her a small wave, Emma took a seat at the bar. Her plate was in front of her within moments.

"So… are you ready to explain what the hell is going on?" Ruby climbed into the stool next to hers.

Emma slammed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath. How should she even start this conversation? Was she even ready to have it? Ruby may have been her best friend, but deep down Ruby believed that true love could conquer all. She was very much like Mary Margaret in that respect.

"I, well, I, um, I left Killian." A fork clanged on a plate. Emma looked everywhere except Ruby.

"You did what?! Emma talk to a girl here. What the hell?"

Turning her head to meet Ruby's, tears pooled in her eyes. Quickly, Emma swiped them away. She was so done with crying. This was her decision. She made it, now she had to live with it.

"Rubes, I love you. I really do, but I can't go into details." She picked up her fork and then put it down again. "I was unhappy. I am unhappy." Her fingers tapped against her legs and she looked down at her plate. "Killian is never home and I know that is because we chose to live in Storybrooke. I just...I guess I never expected it to be like this." She picked up her fork again and pushed the pancake around on the plate. "I just never expected to spend more time away from my husband than I do with him."

Her skin flushed under Ruby's stare and she dropped the fork on the plate again. The tears were back, already falling onto her cheeks. Her arms came up to rest on the bar as she placed her face in her hands. The bar stool squeaked as Ruby stood up, coming to stand right beside her.

"Emma, I'm…" Pounding on the door interrupted Ruby causing them both to whip their heads toward the noise. Ruby's lips turned down in a frown. "Let me get that. I'll be right back."

Emma remained in her stool as the pounding continued. Hearing Ruby answer the door, Emma strained her ears to listen.

"You can't be here." Ruby was whispering. Why would she whisper?

Emma's heart fluttered in her chest. Something was off. It was almost as if Ruby didn't want her to hear what was being said. Standing, she walked closer to the wall separating the kitchen from the entryway. Since the door was on the other side her position allowed her to hear everything clearly.

"Ruby, I need to see her. Please just let me in."

Killian. He was here. Her stomach twisted and, unconsciously, her hand covered it. Her heart began to race. Deep down she knew he would find her. It's not like she had many friends to choose from. She just figured it would have been last night. Why would he wait until the next day?

"Killian, she's not here. I need you to leave." Ruby's voice was firm.

"Dammit Ruby, her car is out front. I know she is here. Let me speak with her." The chain on the door rattled as he pushed to get in.

Panicking, Emma slid down the wall. She couldn't talk to him, not yet. Please Ruby. Please just keep him out. Tears flooded her vision.

"Killian…"

"EMMA! LOVE, I KNOW YOU'RE HERE. PLEASE!" She heard the neighbor's doors open in the hallway.

She shook her head and banged it backwards against the wall. Why wouldn't he just leave. Her face crumpled in anguish.

"Killian…" Ruby tried again.

"EMMA! I AM BEGGING YOU. DON'T DO THIS!..." His fist pounded against the door as he spoke.

"KILLIAN!"

It was quiet. Emma could hear him panting in the hallway.

"Killian," Ruby's voice had returned a normal level, "I understand that this is hard, but you need to leave. I don't want to call the police, but I am sure my neighbors won't care if they have to."

Emma didn't have to see him to know what he was doing. She knew he was running his hands through his hair, shifting from foot to foot weighing his options. He would have no problem going to jail if it were just him to think about, but he was thinking of the band. It would look really bad to have their lead singer in jail for disturbing the peace. He would choose them, he always chose them.

"Just…" his voice was quiet again, "Tell her that I love her. Tell her to call me. Please." His footsteps echoed down the hallway as he left.

Fresh tears began to fall. Dammit, why did she always have to be right? The sound of the door closing caused her to scramble to stand up and wipe at her face. It was no use. Ruby gasped as soon as she saw her.

"Oh Emma…" Ruby's voice trailed off as she held her arms out.

Holding her hand out, Emma shook her head rapidly. She didn't want to be touched, didn't want to be comforted. What she wanted was to forget. She wanted to fast forward her life until a time when the pain was all over. Ruby's arms dropped to hang beside her. Raising her chin, Emma met Ruby's gaze.

"I'm fine. I think I am going to lay down for awhile, if that is okay." Her voice sounded stronger than she felt.

"Sure, um, you can take the guest room. It's better than the couch. You were too upset last night to get you in there." Ruby pointed down the hallway to indicate where she should go.

Nodding her head in thanks, Emma gave her a tight smile before rotating her body to walk down the hallway. She could handle this. She didn't need any help.

Emma Swan didn't need anything from anyone.

Soft voices from the living room drew Emma out of her deep sleep. Turning over, she reached for her cell phone next to the bed. Her body ached as she moved. Squinting so she could see in the darkness of the room, she read the screen.

8:00 pm

10 missed calls from Killian

2 new voicemails

5 unread messages from Killian

Tossing the phone on the bed, Emma rubbed her eyes. Eventually, he would get the point that she had no interest in talking to him. Until then she would just ignore his calls and messages. If anything, his actions this morning proved that she had made the right decision. Now, if she could just explain that to her heart everything would be perfect.

Rolling her eyes while shaking her head, she got out of bed. Her body protested at the movement. She felt run down, like she could sleep for a week. Well, that's what happens when you decide to leave your husband. Did you really expect things to go smoothly, Emma?

No, but she definitely did not expect them to go this badly either.

From the hallway, the voices could be heard more clearly. Was that… Emma's eyes widened as she realized who was in the apartment with Ruby. She should have known Ruby would call her the first chance she got. Perfect.

Curling her lips into a large fake smile, Emma entered the living room to meet the concerned eyes of Mary Margaret. The older, if thirty-four could be counted as older, woman jumped up from her seat on the couch to meet Emma half-way. Shooting daggers at Ruby, Emma held her hand up firmly to stop Mary Margaret from embracing her. She still did not want to be touched or comforted for that matter.

"Ruby called while you were sleeping. I came over as soon as I could. David went to your house to check on Killian." Mary Margaret twisted her hands in front of her stomach nervously.

Giving her a tight smile, Emma moved toward the recliner. At least David was checking on Killian. He needed a friend right now and Emma knew David would be a great one.

Mary Margaret and David Nolan were like the parents Emma never had. They had met when Emma began working as a social worker. Mary Margaret was her boss. The two girls had hit it off immediately, becoming fast friends. The first time David had met Killian they had hit it off so well that Mary Margaret used to joke that Emma had competition for Killian's affections. It was comforting knowing that Killian would have someone to help him through the divorce.

"What happened, Emma?" Mary Margaret's voice pulled her from her thoughts. She had returned to her seat next to Ruby.

Emma looked up to the ceiling, running her fingers through her hair. How many times was she going to have to explain this?

"I mean, are you sure this is what you want? Maybe you should give him a chance to explain himself." Mary Margaret gave her a sweet, reassuring smile with a slight nod of her head.

Emma shook her head sadly. Give him a chance? As if the last five years hadn't been enough of a chance. As if what she found out last… Her hand lightly covered her stomach. No, he had his chance.

"The time for chances is done, Mary Margaret." Emma lifted her head to meet Mary Margaret's. "I have felt like this for awhile now. For years, if I am honest." Dropping her gaze, she stared at the floor. "Besides, he is never home anyway. Hard to give someone a chance who is never there." She could feel tears forming. Why was this still so hard? It should have been easier explaining herself for the second time, but it wasn't. If anything it was like ripping a band-aid off of a fresh wound.

The room was silent for a moment, causing Emma to look up and meet her friend's scrutiny. They both were wearing almost the exact same expression. Lips turned slightly down, heads cocked slightly to one side, eyebrows bunched.

"Guys, there is nothing to be concerned about. I'm fine. I promise. It's hard, but it's for the best."

Mary Margaret's shoulders sagged in defeat while Ruby shook her head sadly.

"Okay, Emma. How about this? You have some vacation time saved up. Why don't you use some to get your thoughts in order. You know how emotional being a social worker is. You're definitely not going to be any help to the kids in this state." Mary Margaret's voice was flat, like she had been defeated.

Some time off would be nice. She could deal with everything she was feeling. It would give her time to come to terms with what her life was going to become. She really did need some time off anyway. The divorce needed to be finalized. She would have to find a new place to live. Most importantly, she could learn to live her life without Killian anymore. Yes, some time off would be great.

"Actually, Mary Margaret, that sounds like a great idea." Emma's lips curled into her first real smile in days, hell weeks.

"And if you're still not ready to come back...well, you could always work from home for a bit." Emma nodded her head rapidly.

This could work. The tightness in her chest eased ever so slightly. She could take this time off and come back better than ever. She would learn how to be happy again, for the first time in years. As her friends moved on to a new topic, Emma felt a sliver of hope blossom in her chest.

This could definitely work.

Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think! I am so interested to hear people's opinions on this fic.