A/N: As always, a huge thanks to the-lady-of-misthaven and zengoalie for editing this! I cannot thank o-u-a-timer enough for all that she has done to help me with this fic, she is amazing and deserves the biggest of hugs!

The reunion is coming, I promise. I believe it is in Chapter 7, so only one more chapter before it is here and before you ask... I am not going to tell you how it goes :P. I am so glad you guys are enjoying this story, it is very near and dear to me.

Thank you for all of the favs, follows, and reviews. They make my day!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own OUAT or its characters.

Two years ago.

It was midday and they had yet to make it out of bed. It reminded Emma of their lazy Sunday mornings when they were in college. Snuggling closer into Killian's bare chest, Emma released a satisfied sigh when his hand reached under her shirt to run the length of her spine. Goosebumps formed on her back.

She needed more moments like this in her life. It was too often that he was either in LA or on tour, too often that she spent weeks without him. Even his phone calls had become less frequent. She would sometimes go two to three days without a word from him. Emma shook her head. She didn't want to dwell on those thoughts right now. This was his career, his dream. She had to take the good with the bad and right now, right now was a good moment.

Turning her body so her chin could rest on Killian's chest, Emma gave him a brilliant smile. His hand moved from her back to caress her cheek and she leaned into it.

"This is nice." A tender smile crossed his face. He looked peaceful, completely content to just bask in their love. She was inclined to agree.

"Aye, love. This is...perfect. I've missed having you in my arms." Emma kissed the spot above his heart and felt him release a shuddering breath.

"I've missed being in them." Emma heart fluttered as she lay her head flat on his chest again. She felt content, loved. One of his hands found placement in her hair, while the other intertwined with hers.

Being in love with the Killian Jones of The Dashing Rapscallions was not always easy, but it was moments like this one that made it all worth it. One thing she was always thankful for was that she never had to second guess Killian's love for her and moments like this confirmed that for her. She knew he would never leave her, not willingly. He had told her once, way back on their first date in college, that he was in this for the long haul and he had spent everyday since proving that to her.

"What's next, love?" His quiet voice drew her from her thoughts. Her eyebrows bunched in confusion. What did he mean? She was pretty sure the plan was to not leave the bed for the entire day. Had he changed his mind? Did he actually want to go out into town? Her stomach twisted in disappointment. She hoped not, she didn't want to burst this happy bubble that had formed around them. She really wanted it to just be the two of them.

"Next? I thought we were staying here all day?" She turned to meet his gaze, head tilting questioningly. He shook his head and gave her a small easy smile. He looked so handsome laying on the bed with mussed hair. She resisted the urge to lean forward and bring her lips to his.

"No, Emma. What's next...for us." He brought their hands to his mouth and kissed hers gently, this time his eyes were full of questioning and maybe a bit of concern.

Emma's heart thumped wildly in her chest as she attempted to calm herself. He meant their future. What did she want to do next in their life together. Her hands began to tremble nervously. There was only one other thing that she really wanted to do. One small thing, that after six years of marriage, she finally felt ready for. Meeting his eyes, she bit her lip before speaking.

"A baby?" Why did she sound so unsure? She realized then that she wanted this, wanted it so so badly. Shock crossed his features and for a minute Emma couldn't breathe. She avoided his eyes and began playing with the blanket on the bed. What if he said no? What if he wasn't ready for this?

"Hey." He lifted her chin so she could look into his eyes again. "I can see you over-thinking this love and I'm going to ask you not to. A baby sounds like a grand idea, eventually. I'm getting ready to go on tour again and your busy working on getting that promotion. The timing just isn't right, but I do want this...more than anything."

His words allowed Emma to relax slightly, but only slightly. No, maybe now wasn't the best time to start trying, but she didn't want to put it off. The truth of the matter was that no one is ever truly ready for a baby and if they kept waiting they would always find an excuse.

"When you get back then?" Her eyes widened. She hadn't really meant to say it out loud. Holding her breath, she waited for his response. She was shocked when he enthusiastically nodded his head.

"That sounds like a bloody brilliant idea love." Her heart skipped a beat at his words. Leaning forward she pressed her lips to his. Her hand twisted in his hair and one of his wrapped around her waist hauling her atop of him.

A baby. A little boy or girl that shared a little part of each of them. Someone that she would ensure didn't grow up the same way she did.

Killian broke the kiss so that he could flip them. Her back landed on the bed as he hovered over her. His eyes twinkled with amusement as he leaned down and ran his nose along her jaw before staring her in the eyes again.

"A baby." His voice was calm, sure. It was a statement, not a question.

A giggle escaped her as she nodded her head, her lips curling into a grin. Her heart was going to beat out of her chest. She hadn't felt this happy in a long time. It felt as though she would burst.

"A baby."

This right here was everything she ever wanted, everything she ever needed.

"So whatcha feel like doing later tonight?" Ruby's voice came from the other side of the kitchen, startling Emma. She should be used to her coming in by now, it was a daily occurrence.

About a week after the reporter cornered Emma outside of Granny's, Ruby started to join Emma at the apartment during her lunch break. You're stuck in this house all day because you're scared of running into those damned reporters, Emma. The least I could do is be a good friend and come visit. It was a great gesture, one that she appreciated immensely, but she still felt bad about Ruby traveling all the way across town just to have lunch with her. Emma rocked her head from side to side sadly. Yet another situation where Killian's absence was affecting everyone other than him.

Sure, she knew she didn't have to stay in the house all day. She just didn't want to be caught unaware by a reporter again. She knew Killian had spoken to Malcolm about it, he left her another voicemail confirming it, but it really wasn't worth the risk to her. It was better to stay in the apartment and avoid the matter at all costs. Emma chuckled to herself. She was getting really good at avoiding, whether it be situations or...people. Speaking of which, she was currently avoiding her friend's question.

Swallowing her food, Emma shrugged her shoulders before answering. "Oh, you know...the usual."

"Meaning staying in and watching a movie?" Ruby rolled her eyes in Emma's direction as she closed the door to the fridge with more force than necessary.

Stopping her fork halfway to her mouth, Emma sent a glare in her friend's direction. "Ruby, you know why I avoid going out."

Ruby sighed, shrugged her shoulder, and took her seat next to Emma. "I know. I know. I'm just kidding. Sure, I wish things were different because I'm getting a little stir crazy. But I get it, I do. Anyway, what are we watching tonight?" She leaned over and pushed her shoulder into Emma's.

Emma sighed. She had kind of hoped Ruby would be gone tonight so she could watch the show in peace. Ruby was going to read too much into this and she didn't want to deal with the questions. This was something she did every year. Just because she and Killian were… well, she wasn't going to let that stop her. Sitting her fork down next to her plate, Emma looked at her hands lying in her lap.

"The VMAs are on tonight." Her voice was soft, unsure. She wished she could be more confident, but she couldn't. Yes, this was her tradition, but that didn't mean it was a good idea.

"The VMAs? Emma, are you sure? You know you're going to see him. Are you ready for that?" Emma jerked her head to meet Ruby's concerned eyes.

"It's tradition, Ruby. I watch every year and the band is up for Video of the Year again. Robin, Will, and Smee are still my friends." She purposely avoided Ruby's question about being ready to see Killian. At this point she couldn't even talk to him on the phone, she had no idea how she was going to handle seeing him.

Ruby reached over and gripped one of Emma's hands before giving her a small smile. Emma's heart clenched in response. This was not what she wanted. She didn't want Ruby to baby her. Standing stiffly, Emma pulled her hand from Ruby's grasp and walked over to place her plate into the dishwasher.

"I'll see you after you get back from work, okay?" Without waiting for Ruby's response, Emma walked out of the kitchen. She was fine. Watching the show would be fine, easy even. Now, if she could just convince her heart.

Sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn on her lap and a beer in her hand, Emma watched the red carpet interviews. Ruby sat next to her with a beer in her hands, as well. They both were commenting on the dresses and how good some of the men looked. The Dashing Rapscallions had yet to make their appearance and Emma's heart pounded in anticipation.

She remembered the one time she had been to the VMAs. In the five years since Killian's band had taken off, she had only been once. Her work schedule prevented other appearances. She went the first year they were nominated. The whole evening was a whirlwind. There were cameras everywhere, strangers yelling random questions, fans screaming for attention. Not to mention the insane after shows she had been whisked off to. It was one of the moments that solidified her belief that she was not cut out for a life in the public's eyes. Killian, of course, was in his natural element. He charmed everyone he met and by the end of the night she had felt perfectly at ease. It also helped that he hadn't left her side the entire time.

Putting some popcorn in her mouth, Emma saw Katy Perry on the television screen. Katy was a nice girl, a little weird for Emma's tastes, but nice nonetheless. She shook her head as she realized she had met a handful of these people during the first year after Killian's big break. It was still odd to her that she knew them. Idly, she wondered if Killian had come home or stayed in LA for the show. She let out a huff of annoyance. Of course he stayed in LA. The damned award show was in LA, why would he come to Storybrooke?

Emma took a sip of her beer and her mouth formed a huge smile at the sight of Robin on the screen. The crowd went wild as he exited the limo. He looked happy as always, waving and smiling to the fans. There was a pang in her heart when she thought about not seeing him anymore. She'd always liked Robin, he seemed to keep Killian grounded when he was away.

Next out of the limo was Smee, his red cap atop his head as always. He never went anywhere without it. Will stepped out looking dapper as he always did. Again, the crowd went wild. Next to Killian he was the most popular member of the group. Emma rolled her eyes as Will blew kisses to the female fans. He was such a flirt, but Emma adored him.

Holding her breath, Emma prepared herself for Killian to exit the limo. She was surprised by how good he looked. His black suit hugged him in all of the right places, his hair devilishly mussed just the way she liked it. Her heart clenched as she saw him smile and wave to the fans before turning back to the limo. She'd missed him so much.

Emma looked down as tears formed in her eyes, she bit her cheek to keep them from falling. It had almost been two months and seeing him still hurt. The thought ripped her to shreds.

Suddenly, Ruby's hand reached out and gripped Emma's. Looking up, Emma saw shock all over Ruby's features. Confused, Emma returned her attention to the television.

Her heart stopped beating. The tears that had formed in her eyes fell. Her mouth opened and the hand that Ruby wasn't holding reached up to cover it. Her wide eyes were glued to the television as her husband, the man she loved, walk down the red carpet laughing with a petite blonde in a green dress wrapped in his arms. Emma watched, heart heavy in her chest, as the band approached one of the many reporters lined up for interviews.

"The Dashing Rapscallions are certainly living up to their name tonight." The female reporter commented while offering a flirtatious smile to Killian before sticking her microphone out for him.

"Would you expect anything less from us, lass?" His question was a deep murmur as his eyes twinkled.

"Of course not!" The reporter's smile grew as she let out a coy giggle, indicating how smitten she already was with Emma's husband. "You're looking especially dapper tonight, Killian. Tell me, who designed your suit? Armani?"

Killian's eyes widened, lips curling into a small disbelieving smirk. "No, love. This one was custom made by Brioni, the same people who make James Bond's suits." He rocked forward on his feet in an attempt to contain his elation.

"Very nice. Only the best for Killian Jones, right?" Killian tipped his head in confirmation. "One last question, Killian, just who is this lovely woman acting as your date tonight?"

The blonde actually had the nerve to tighten her hold on Killian as she shared a demure smile for the camera.

Killian's eyes fell on the blonde and he winked before he spoke. "This is a new friend who graciously agreed to accompany me this evening."

Emma exhaled sharply, eyes dropping from the the television. Her husband was all smiles and and good-natured attitude. Emma wanted to be mad, but she couldn't. Not even as he continued to hint to the reporter who the new lady in his life was. She wanted to scream, but instead her heart broke in devastation. How could he be so cruel? Didn't he know that this would hurt her? Did he even think about her at all?

Limbs stiff, Emma stood up from the couch. The bowl of popcorn in her lap tumbled to the floor as she darted down the hallway to her room. She vaguely heard Ruby calling, but paid her no mind. The picture of Killian laughing with that woman was burned into her eyes, his happy laughter ringing in her ears.

Finally in her room, Emma's legs gave out. She covered her stomach protectively as her face fell in agony. She had spent years being so unbearably unhappy, unbearably alone, before she built up the courage to leave and file for divorce. Deciding to leave had nearly killed her, so much so that after, she spent days holed up in the apartment trying to come to terms with her decision. It was a decision that affected every hope and dream she'd ever had for them.

Her chest tightened as her heart wrenched in pain. How was it then that he could move on so easily? How could he show up to an award show and flaunt this new woman as if he had forgotten what they had shared for more than eight years. It was almost as if none of their time together mattered to him. If it had, if she really mattered to him, then he would be just as wrecked as she was. He wouldn't be out at award show or on tour, he would be here.

It didn't matter that he didn't know the details about why she left, why she filed for divorce. All that mattered was she had. She'd left him and his solution to her leaving was to get on an airplane, to call her everyday and beg that she explain. Calling her everyday wasn't going to make up for him leaving, for being blind to all of their problems. It wasn't going to make everything alright.

Her hand dug into her stomach, pressing hard. She had the right to be angry, to be fed up with him. She had the right to leave. They had lost so much. Killian didn't even realize how much loss had been stowed upon them, upon him.

Sobs racked her body as she tried to catch her breath. This was too much. The divorce, Killian's endless calls, his new fucking girlfriend, that fact that she was still very much in love with him, it was all too much. Knocks sounded from her door, but Emma couldn't move. Her body felt like lead, like the weight of the world was coming down on her.

For the first time since she had walked out on Killian, Emma wondered if she had made a mistake.

Sighing in exhaustion, Emma twisted in her chair and reached for one of the new files on her desk. She had only been back to work less than a day and already, there were four more cases needing placement for her to look at. Opening the new file, Emma rubbed her eyes before closing it and placing it back on her desk. She couldn't find the motivation to work, even after being off for weeks. Clicking her email open, she barely looked at it before running her hand through her hair and picking up the file again. She placed the file back on her desk and let out a frustrated growl. She was distracted and she knew why.

It had been a week and a half since the VMAs, a week and a half since she had watched Killian parade all over her television with his new blonde. After picking up the pieces of her heart and accepting her fate, she had tried to return to some semblance of a life. Then, Killian had stopped calling. Just like that. She had not received one call since the VMAs and he had been spotted out in public more, always with that blonde woman too.

She didn't know whether she should be angry, sad, or both. When she had first left she couldn't wait for him to stop calling, for him to leave her alone. Now, she didn't know what to think, what to feel. Nothing had changed, if anything the absence of his calls only highlighted his absence when dealing with their problems. But seeing him with that woman hurt, hurt in a way that she had never expected.

Shrugging her shoulders, Emma picked up the file again and stared at it blankly. Why was she even dwelling on this? The divorce was as good as done, the signed papers lie in her purse on her desk. All they were waiting on was Killian's signatures and they would get those when the tour was over in three more weeks. This was what she wanted. Ugh, she needed to get some work done and stop thinking about all of this.

Opening the file, she scanned the information quickly. Male. Three days old. Brown hair. Blue eyes. Her heart skipped a beat. Was this what her child with Kilian would look like? Her hand moved to rest over her stomach. She wondered, and not for the first time, what would it have been like to raise a child with Killian?

She could picture it clearly in her head. Kilian panicking on the way to the hospital, driving erratically just to get her there. Killian holding their child up for the world to see, a proud grin on his face. Rubbing her stomach, tears prick her eyes but she was helpless to stop the images. Kilian driving like a grandpa on their way home from the hospital. Our child is only days old, Emma! I won't have us getting into a car accident on the way home! The tears spilled over onto her cheeks and she wiped them furiously. She imagined Killian falling asleep in a rocker while holding their child.

All of the air left her lungs. She felt like she'd been punched in the gut. All she ever wanted was to have a family with Killian, to raise a child with him. Of course they never got around to it. Her hands clench into fists. How could they when he spent weeks in LA at a time and months touring every spring into summer while she was left at home to her own devices? Her body was coursing with anger. He could barely remember to call her daily, how the hell was he going to take care of a child? In fact, since she had walked out, he had called her more times than he had in the past year.

Taking a deep breath, Emma attempted to calm herself. There was nothing she could do to change any of this. She refused to ask him to give up his dreams for her, but she also refused to be sidelined any longer. The only way they would both be happy was to be apart and that was the end of it. With her breathing returning to normal, Emma turned to go to the restroom and clean off her face. Distracted, she ran directly into Mary Margaret.

"Oh, Emma! I was just coming to check on you." Mary Margaret grabbed her shoulder to steady herself. Emma refused to look her friend in the eye.

Shit. Just what she needed. She knew her face was blotchy from crying and there was no way to hide it from Mary Margaret. She really didn't want to deal with all of the questions she knew Mary Margaret was going to have. All Emma wanted to do was clean herself up and return to work. As if she could sense Emma distress, Mary Margaret turned her face to meet Emma's and gasped.

"Emma! Are you alright?" Mary Margaret reached a hand up in concern to touch Emma's tear-stained cheeks, her voice tinged in worry.

Emma took a step back before her friend's hand could make contact. Being comforted wasn't going to help her, it wasn't going to make her pain go away. Emma wiped her cheeks with the back of her shirt sleeve and took a deep, calming breath before crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm fine, Mary Margaret. What do you need?"

She watched as Mary Margaret shifted from one leg to another uncomfortably. Her hands twisted nervously in front of her. Emma knew she wanted to talk about Killian. She also knew if she didn't let her, then her friend would just try to come back later. Emma sighed and rolled her eyes. Might as well get this over with.

"Just spit it out, Mary Margaret. I can handle it." Annoyed, Emma tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and waited while impatiently tapping her fingers on her arm.

"I was wondering how you were doing with everything? How are things going with Killian?" Mary Margaret's question was a soft-spoken whisper, full of unease. Her eyes darted up and down Emma's form inquisitively.

Emma's lips curled into a fake smile and she lowered her arms to her sides as she tried to appear cheerful, as if nothing was troubling her. "I'm fine, really. As for Killian…" She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "I don't know. He stopped calling." And started dating, she added silently, begrudgingly.

"Stopped calling?" Mary Margaret slanted her head to the side, her eyes widening in confusion. She opened her mouth to speak only to close it moments later. Her forehead scrunched, eyebrows inverted questioningly. "Do you know why?"

Emma shook her head and looked away. Why did it matter? All that mattered was he stopped calling, stopped texting, stopped emailing. She didn't want to think about why he stopped. All that did was lead to tears and she was so sick of crying over everything.

"Nope." Emma waved her hand, while shaking her head indifferently. "He just stopped."

Emma lifted her eyes to meet Mary Margaret's and gasped when she found her friend's eyes narrowed in her direction. Wait, why was she getting upset?

"Maybe he stopped calling because you wouldn't answer, because you wouldn't talk to him Emma. Maybe he felt like you wanted him to back off." Her friend's body was stiff with tension, as she crossed her arms and stared at Emma accusingly. What the hell. Since when was Mary Margaret on 'Team Killian?' She had never cared about to ask about him before and now she suddenly knew why he had stopped calling?

Emma's blood boiled. She loved her friend, she really did, but this was none of her business. Mary Margaret had no idea what was going on with her and Killian. She had no idea how broken Emma truly was. She had no clue how crushed Emma was watching Killian with this new woman, how alone she'd felt for the last three years, or how completely blind Killian was to their problems. She knew nothing.

Emma narrowed her eyes at her friend. "Or maybe he stopped calling because he was too busy with his new girlfriend, maybe he's too busy to care."

Mary Margaret's jaw dropped at Emma's words. Pushing past her, Emma felt tears trickle down her cheeks again. This time she made it to the bathroom before the sobs overcame her.

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