Huge thanks to the-lady-of-mishaven and zengoalie for beta'ing. And to o-u-a-timer for the endless hours she spends with me on this.

As if the last chapter wasn't a doozy...there is this one. There is some fluff and then there is not. I hope you all like it.

This one changes POV throughout, so pay attention! :)

Thank you for all of the favs, follows, and reviews...they make my day!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own OUAT or its characters.

Three Months Ago

Killian resisted the urge to spin in his chair for likely the hundredth time during the interview. Really, it was their fault. Who the hell gave him a rolly spinny chair anyway, they should've known that the first thing he would want to do was spin it. His foot tapped relentlessly under the desk as he tried to pay attention to what the radio host was saying. The truth of the matter was he was bored out of his bloody mind.

He hated radio interviews. He had to sit, talk into a mic, and take calls from listeners. He would rather being doing anything else, like perhaps writing songs for the new album.

"So, Killian, tell us what is up next for The Dashing Rapscallions?" The female host, Zelena, asked him from across the small sound room.

Killian rolled his neck and tried not to sigh. They knew what was up next, but they had to ask. It seemed like every interview he was in lately asked the exact same questions, not that it was their fault. He was doing promo for the tour and upcoming album, so it was expected.

"Well, lass, we leave for our tour in three days. Then, of course, once we return from the tour we'll be back in the studio finishing up the new album. We are hoping to add some European shows during the winter months, as well."

"Wow. You guys are really busy. Any hints as to what the new album is going to sound like?" Zelena smirked at him from across the room.

Killian laughed into the mic. "Now, why would I tell you that? I will say that I am just in the writing stages. The boys haven't even seen any of the drafts."

"So you do all of the writing then?" Walsh, Zelena's partner, broke in.

"Aye." Killian nodded his head. "Once I get the songs written, we sit as a band and write the music for them."

Gold, the show's producer, tapped the glass partition and indicated it was time for a commercial break. Zelena nodded her head and turned back to the mic.

"Alright, my pretties, we'll be back after a short break and continue our discussion with the ever lovely, Killian Jones." Zelena hit the "off the air" button and took a deep breath.

The booth was plunged into silence, giving Killian the opportunity to breathe for a moment. He looked at the clock. It was just now almost five in the evening. He should only be here for another half of an hour at most, then he could go back to the studio and bury himself in writing. He really wanted to get a few more songs done before the tour started. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Gold walk into the booth and hand Zelena a piece of paper before whispering in her ear. She glanced over to Killian, eyes wide, and nodded her head to him.

The light over the studio lit up as it counted down 3, 2, 1, and then 'On Air.' Zelena swiveled her chair back to the mic before hitting the button to turn it on.

"Welcome back, my pretties. You are listening to KZB 107.7 The Envy and we are here with the handsome lead singer of The Dashing Rapscallions, Killian Jones." Zelena lifted her hand to indicate for Killian to speak after she finished the standard radio intro.

"Evening, everyone! Glad to be here!" He leaned onto his hands resting on the table.

"Well, Killian, it's time for some personal questions, like say... your newly single status. I bet all of the fangirls are just jumping from the news." Zelena's eyes stared intently across the room at him.

Killian's face tilted in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. What the bloody hell was this woman talking about? He wasn't single, he hadn't been for quite some time. He was very happily married. He shook his head, they must be confusing him with Will. Returning Zelena's gaze, Killian leaned into the mic.

"Sorry. I'm not sure I follow. I am very much involved, I've been married for eight years. Maybe you're thinking of Will, he can't stay with a woman to save his life." He sat back in his chair trying to make a joke of the question.

Zelena shook her head, her red hair lifting from the motion, and pulled a piece of paper off the desk. "No, it says right here." She turned the paper around and he squinted his eyes to try to read it. "Headline: 'Lead Singer of The Dashing Rapscallions, Killian Jones' Wife Files for Divorce.' It was written this morning." She handed the paper over to Walsh, who handed it to him.

His eyes scanned the article, written by The Los Angeles Times, and he felt all the air go out of his lungs. Zelena wasn't lying. Right there in big, bold print was the headline she'd read off. Under, a grainy picture of Emma walking out of the courthouse. It was indeed dated this morning as well.

His mouth opened slightly in shock, eyes drifting from the article to scan the room. Every set of eyes in the booth was trained on him waiting for an explanation, a comment, anything. Zelena, for her part, continued to fire questions in his direction while he tried to process what was happening. His breathing quickened, hands clenching into fists on the table. His face wrinkled in confusion as he looked back to the article.

No, this...this had to be some kind of joke. Emma wouldn't… . He stood stiffly, the chair rolling to hit the wall.

"I'm…" his voice was hollow as the words caught in his throat. He backed away from the table with both hands up, trembling. "Apologies… I…" He turned quickly, tripping over the chair behind him. Catching himself on the wall, he straightened the chair and moved toward the door. "I need… I need to go."

He barely heard Zelana call out to him as he made his way down the hallway. Her voice was followed quickly by Gold's, but he kept moving. Emma. He needed to get to her, needed her to explain, to tell him that this was all a hoax. Something. Anything.

His hands slammed into the front door of the radio station so hard the glass rattled. Striding purposefully across the asphalt, he made it to his car in seconds. Flinging the door open, he threw himself into the leather seat and slammed the door behind him. His heart beat rapidly, stomach twisting violently. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he dialed Emma. After one ring it went straight to voicemail.

Hello. You've reached Emma…

His thumb hit the end call button before dialing again. This time it went straight to voicemail. The phone dropped from his hand into his lap. Hand curling into a fist, he hurled it at the steering wheel once, twice, and finally a third time. Where the fuck was she? Didn't she realize he needed to talk to her?

He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. Running his hand through his hair, he tried to remember the last time he had spoken to her. It had been a couple of days, at least. No, wait… his eyes narrowed as he tried to remember. She had called the other day. That was...three days ago. She'd called a couple of times that day, but he couldn't remember the exact number. He hadn't answered because he'd been busy working on the album, trying to get some songs finished up. Before that it had been… He shook his head. The weekend, it had been that previous weekend, so…. He counted off the days in his head. Four days. The last time they had talked had been four days before she tried calling. Which meant...

He ran his hand over his face, scratching his stubbled chin. Seven days. They hadn't talked in seven days. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Really, it wasn't that uncommon for them to go that long without talking. His schedule was hectic and sometimes he simply couldn't call her, or return her calls for that matter. He put the key into the ignition and turned the car on. This all had to be a mistake. He and Emma had been together for ten years, married for eight. There was no indication that she'd been unhappy, that she wanted to leave. He put the car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot.

Storybrooke was only six hours away. He would go home and figure this mess out. The reporters were wrong. They didn't know Emma like he did, didn't know how important they were to each other.

Emma loved him, just as he loved her. He merged the car onto the highway. This was all a big misunderstanding, it had to be.

Thunder sounded through the window, startling Emma awake. Her eyes searched the room frantically until she remembered where she was. Killian's front was to her back, his arm curled around her abdomen agitating her incision. Her body stiffened. It was pure luck that they had been too wrapped up in each other to turn on the bedroom lights, otherwise he would have definitely noticed the six inch incision.

It wasn't like she was intentionally trying to keep it from him. She wanted to tell him, she did, but it was still hard for her to think about, let alone talk about. It had only been six weeks ago. She closed her eyes to fight back the tears. It had only been six weeks since she'd found out she could no longer have children, since she found out she would never be a mother to her own child. Her heart twisted, a sob caught in her throat. It still hurt. Some days it hurt so bad she felt like she was suffocating, like there was a knife in her gut and someone was turning it slowly.

On those days, she was lucky if she made it into work, if she made it out of bed at all. She would spend the day lost in the what-could-have-beens, in her visions of what they had planned together. It was on those particular days that being away from Killian was the hardest. Removing his arm from her waist gently, she placed it slightly under her bare breasts and released an agonized sigh. Sometimes she wished she would've just told him, told him that the possibility of them sharing a child together was gone. But she didn't and now… she couldn't. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Being a father was something Killian had always wanted and she'd taken that away from him.

Rotating in Killian's arms until she faced him, she buried her face further into his bare chest. His arms tightened around her instinctively as he lightly kissed the top of her head. Panic shot through her. She didn't want to face him like this, not when she was fighting off tears. There would be no way to avoid telling him if he saw her like this.

Biting her lip to keep the tears at bay, she waited patiently until his breathing evened before tilting her head to look at him. His face was relaxed in peaceful a slumber, a small smile on his lips. Her hand came up to brush the hair out of his eyes and he leaned into her touch, mumbling her name. She missed him so so much. It was hard to put into words just how much. Carefully she leaned up and kissed his chin. He let out a small sigh in response and warmth spread throughout her.

Being back in his arms was everything she'd wished for, everything she wanted. Her body craved his touch, his laugh, him. Snuggling into him deeper, she marveled at how complete she felt, at how much she loved him. He was her other half, the piece she had been missing for so long.

She took a deep breath, breathing in his scent. The smell was uniquely Killian. More than anything he smelled like...home. How did she ever think she would be able to live without him? Filing for divorce had been a hasty decision. She knew that now. She should have talked to him, explained what she'd went though. She should have given him the chance to understand.

She'd just been so angry at him for never being there, at herself for allowing them to drift apart, and at the world for taking something so precious from her. She was still angry, but being with Killian again had healed her in a way she hadn't expected, in a way that she needed.

They needed to talk, really talk, about everything. There was no doubt in her mind that Killian at least knew their relationship had issues. Why would she had left otherwise? Tomorrow they could sit down and figure out where they needed to go from here. If there was any place to go.

Her hand came up to cup his cheek. She wanted to be with him, she did. They just had to figure out how to make it work, how to make them both happy. He was in a band, he had obligations that would take him from her. She would never ask him to give up his career, his dream, for their marriage. What kind of wife would she be if she did? But, she needed him to be more involved, to be her partner in this. There had to be a compromise.

Sighing, she placed her hand over his heart and closed her eyes trying to fall asleep once more. She could think about all of this later. They would talk tomorrow and work everything out. Tonight, right now, she just wanted to enjoy the feeling of being in his arms again.

A delightful thump slowly brought Killian out of sleep into the morning light. He was wrapped completely around Emma, around his wife. His head rested on her bare chest, the thump in his ear caused by her steady heartbeat. His arms rested across her stomach right under her breasts, their legs were in a tangled mess under the comforter. It was perfect. It was everything he'd been missing.

Emma's hands were interlaced in his hair, her breathing even underneath him. He'd woken up like this a million times before, but this time it was different. This time the feeling of her hands in his hair repaired the fracture in his heart. His mind relaxed and all of the torment he'd been through the last several months evaporated as if it were never there. Waking up wrapped around her was like a new beginning for him, for them. A new beginning that he thought he'd lost.

A grin formed on his face. But he hadn't lost it after all, it had just been sitting there waiting for him to seize it. All this time, all this heartache, and all he had to do was make her talk to him. If he'd known that, he would have stayed that first day at Ruby's. Then, all of this pain could have been avoided. He could have enjoyed his time on tour, been able to hang out with his mates, instead of wallowing the entire three months. He could have been happy, like he was right now.

His heart fluttered as he shifted his head to look at Emma. She seemed at peace, so different from the woman he encountered at the Nolan's yesterday. Gently, he kissed the bare skin of the underside of her breast, goosebumps formed on her skin. He wanted her to wake up, to share in his bliss with him. He shifted so he could press another kiss in the space between her breasts and he felt her stir beneath him. A groan escaped his lips and he closed his eyes. Her skin tasted heavenly, it was intoxicating. Placing his hands on the bed next to her head, he moved his body fully a top of hers. Leaning his head down, he trailed open mouth kisses from the base of her throat to just behind her ear. When her hands untangled from his hair and moved to rest on his shoulders, he knew his mission had been a success.

"Killian, what are you doing?" Her voice was rough with sleep as she rubbed her eyes.

His body stilled at the sound of her voice before he shoved both arms around her and crushed her body to his. Emma let out a surprised yelp, then wrapped her arms around him. Her fingertips danced patterns into his back as he buried his nose in her hair. Bloody hell, he never wanted to leave her arms. He would gladly stay here for a lifetime if she would let him. Emma seemed happy to just let him have his moment, to let him bask in the feeling of her. Pulling back he placed his forehead against hers and let out a deep exhale. Her eyes were closed, as if she were just savoring the quiet moment with him in their bedroom, in their home. A soft smile graced her lips. He waited patiently, grinning from ear to ear, for her eyes to open and meet his gaze. When she did, his breath caught in his throat. Her eyes were twinkling with warmth, they were full of a contentment he hadn't seen there in some time maybe since before she'd left him. It was refreshing, seeing her so open and happy. He missed this, missed her.

"Killian." Her hands played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He was in awe of the beautiful woman woman before him. Rendered entirely speechless, even. He almost couldn't wrap his mind around that fact that she was really here, that she was really in his arms. He kissed her forehead before continuing down the side of her face. She arched into him, lightly groaning.

"Killian." She whimpered, lightly as his mouth closed around her ear.

"Hmm." He couldn't stop tasting her, it reminded him that this was real. That it was truly happening.

"What…" She was breathless as she tried to form the words, fingers scraped down his back and sides. "What… what are you...doing."

Pulling back, a goofy grin formed on his face. "Well, love, seems I am attempting to wake up my wife. How successful has my endeavor been?"

He watched as a full blown smile broke out on her face, a giggle following seconds later.

"I think you are doing just fine, Mr. Jones." She pressed her forehead to his, closing her eyes.

It felt as though his heart would burst from all of the merriment that surrounded them. He pressed her further into the mattress, lips finding hers in a deep kiss. One she wholeheartedly returned.

"God, Emma. I've missed you so much." Eyes shut, he mumbled the words into her lips as the kiss ends. "So much. I can't believe you're here."

Moving her hands from his neck, she gripped the sides of his face and looked him directly in the eyes. "Hush, Killian. I'm here. Right here with you, right where I belong."

His heart soared. She knew this was where she belonged and she wanted to be here as much as he wanted her here. In that moment, he wanted it all back. He wanted her and their love and the life that they'd built together. He wanted to go back to how things were before and he wanted to do it as quickly as possible.

"Tell me, love." He pushed an errant section of hair behind her ears. "When do you wish to retrieve your items from Ruby's? Today...tomorrow? I am at your disposal." She bit her lip, features creasing in confusion.

"Killian… I…" She pushed her hand gently against his chest, rising inch by inch. Fumbling, he moved off of her until they both sat across from each other in the middle of the bed.

The blanket was wrapped around her body, covering her from him. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He could tell she wanted to say something. Her mouth opened to speak and then closed again. Her gaze diverted to the bed and Killian felt his chest tighten. It hadn't occurred to him that maybe she wasn't ready to move so quickly, maybe she needed time to adjust to being back with him.

Reaching forward he pulled her hands into his, when their eyes met he could see that hers were clouded with uncertainty. Suddenly, he had the need to soothe her, to make her comfortable again.

"Love, we can wait. I've two weeks before I must leave to complete the album. We can retrieve your belongings at any point in those two weeks. Until then, we can focus our efforts on each other." He squeezed her hands in what he hoped felt like comfort.

She tilted her head slightly. He could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she mulled over his words. Removing one of her hands from his, she ran it through her long locks before meeting his eyes.

"If…" Her voice was soft, questioning. She bit her lip in an attempt to find the right words. "If you're leaving again in two weeks. When will you be back?"

Killian fidgeted in the bed. She'd hadn't asked him how long he'd be gone in years. She was always content to just let him come and go as he pleased.

"I wish I could tell you, love." He watched as she huffed and diverted her gaze, head nodding slowly. He lifted his free hand to her chin and raised her head so she was looking at him. "You know you are always welcome to join me, love. The boys would love to have you...as would I."

His fingers traveled from her chin to gently stroke her cheek. She reached up, removing his hand while shaking her head.

"Killian, that's just…" She took a deep breath before continuing. "I have to work. I can't just go to LA with you for an undisclosed amount of time." She closed her eyes when she finished and he can see tears in their corners.

This is not how he imagined this talk going. He'd no intention of making her cry, he just wanted her to understand that if she didn't want to be away from him, she was always welcome where he arms shot out and pulled her into his lap. She came willingly, folding herself to fit against his chest.

"Shh." He whispered into her hair. "I know, Emma. We'll figure it out. Like we always have." He felt her stiffen in his arms and assumes it is because she wished there was a way for them to always be together. He watched as she bit her lip, eyes narrowing before widening again. He tilted his head to try to get her attention, but she seemed lost in thought so he lets her be. A moment later, her body relaxed, head turning toward him with determined eyes.

"Okay." Her voice is a whisper, but her words strong. "We'll figure something out. We'll make it work." She is smiling as she leaned up and kissed his nose.

He released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. The tension in him disappeared the longer she looked up at him grinning. In a quick decision, he let his body fall back to the bed and takes her with him. Landing with his head on the pillow, Emma positioned herself at his side with her head against his chest. His arm snaked around her waist, holding her in place.

They are silent for a moment, his mind wandering. Emma's eyes have fallen closed, her breathing beginning to even. The position they are in reminded of a day not too long ago, one where they talked all morning about their future, a morning where they made plans. Plans that were eventually put off and forgotten. Plans of a child, of a little boy with chestnut hair and green eyes or a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.

He'd had a lot of time to think about their marriage in the last three months, a lot of time to wonder where things had went wrong. In fact, their relationship had been the only thing on his mind. He'd almost lost her, lost his wife. Losing her would mean losing those dreams, losing the possibility of having a child with the woman he loved more than life itself. Perhaps now was the time to seize the moment, to make their dreams a reality.

"Emma." He shifted his shoulder to get her attention. "Emma, love…"

"Hmm." Her eyes were still closed, but at least she hadn't fallen asleep yet.

"Wake, Emma. There's something I'd like to discuss with you." He shifted his shoulder again, only stopping when her eyes opened and she look at him.

"I'm awake. What is it?" She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain.

"You know, love, I've a lot of time to think about the two of us lately. What do you say to trying to have a family?" Her eyes widened, features shifting from relaxed to shocked. Her mouth opened slightly as if she couldn't believe the words he'd just spoken, which why should she...he'd put this off for so long. She pulled herself back upright, eyes blinking several times.

"Killian, I…" She holds her hand up as the words died on her tongue.

Bloody hell. He's overwhelmed her. She thinks he meant right this second and that is not what he meant at all. No, he needed to sort out the album first, then maybe after.

"Not now of course." He tried to calm her. "It'll have to wait until the work with the album is complete, but I want to have a child with you Emma."

The color drained from her face, her features hardening. It's startling to him, how quickly she changed from confused to angry.

"Emma? What's the matter, love?" He tried to keep his voice steady, but it came out wobbly.

Shaking her head roughly, she yanked her hands from his grasp with a force that startled him. But she stayed silent, giving him no indication as to what was going on.

"Emma?" His words are again met with silence, so he reaches for her.

She moved quickly out of his reach before she scrambled out of bed. With her back toward him she began to dress before his eyes.

His brow creased in confusion, stomach twisting unnaturally. What the bloody hell was going on? Where was she going? They were just… and she… He shook his head, tongue sweeping over his lips.

"Emma, please." He all but begs. "Please, talk to me."

She turned quickly, hair fanning out, dressed only in her jeans. His breath caught as he notices tears streaming down her cheeks. She held both hands up, palms out.

"I'm sorry. This was a mistake. A very big mistake. Nothing has changed. You haven't changed." She reached for her shirt on the floor and clenched it to her bare chest. Giving him one last look, she turned quickly and ran into the hallway.

"It'll have to wait until the work with the album is complete, but I want to have a child with you Emma." He is trying to calm her, but it is not working.

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, she realized how big of a mistake she'd made. She felt her eyes narrow, face hardening. She'd let herself get so wrapped up in him, in his promises, in his words, that she hadn't even realized that nothing had changed. Nothing, not a single damn thing.

"Emma? What's the matter, love?" His words are shaky, like a confused little boy.

Shaking her head, she yanked her hands from his. How could she even explain what was going on? She had been shocked when he mentioned having children, but she had been willing to explain. If she wanted to make it work, then she needed to be open and honest. She knew that, which is why she decided she would tell him right then.

When he mentioned waiting, when he said that now was not the time, it was like someone had dumped ice water on her. He was going to leave. It would be the same cycle over and over. The same cycle she'd lived for the past three years. The same cycle that left him clueless to their problems and left her alone.

She wanted so badly to make things work, to be with him. She'd been willing to try, to give him the benefit of doubt. But what was the point if he refused to acknowledge that their relationship had even the slightest issue, what was the point if he was just going to put them back into the same situation they'd always been in? Frustrated tears fell from her eyes and she angrily swiped at them. Why couldn't he see that they hadn't really solved anything?

With her back toward him, no point in him seeing the scar now, she pulled on her underwear and jeans quickly. She couldn't find her shirt. She needed to find her shirt. She needed to leave this room, to get away from him, to get away from the mistake she made.

"Emma, please." He's whispering to her gently. "Please, talk to me."

He was desperate. She could hear it in his voice. He wanted her to explain, to tell him what was wrong. It always came back to her, it always had, and it always would. She wasn't ready to go into detail about why their relationship was broken, about how he didn't prioritize their marriage, about how she felt like he didn't care about her anymore, but he deserved to know something. Spinning around, her hands rose, palms out, as she backed away from the bed. She was still crying, frustrated with the events and with him.

"I'm sorry. This was a mistake. A very big mistake. Nothing has changed. You haven't changed."

She watched as his body physically flinched from her words, eyes widening in shock.

Her eyes drifted from his form to the floor, scanning for her shirt. Finding it, she bent over and pulled it to her chest. Her eyes met his and she could see nothing but despair and confusion swirling in their depths. Her heart shattered in her chest, but it doesn't stop her. She couldn't stay here.

Pivoting quickly, she launched herself into the hallway. She heard him call out to her again, but ignored it. All of their portraits were a blur as she all but ran down the hallway. Somehow she managed to get her shirt on before making it to the stairs. She almost tripped on the way down, but caught herself.

In the kitchen, she paused for a moment reaching into her purse. Pulling the divorce papers out, she placed them on the counter with trembling hands. He hadn't changed, just as she told him. He was still stuck in this little world where all of their problems were nonexistent, where one night together could solve everything. They hadn't even really talked, only discussing the mess with Tink. The fact that he assumed there was nothing else to discuss… She shook her head. Tink was only one very small issue, something that was current, that needed to be addressed right away before she even would listen to a word he said.

"EMMA!" Killian's voice rung out, prompting her to move. Grabbing her purse, she pulled her car keys out. She was so thankful for not allowing Killian to drive her. She is out the door and in her car in seconds.

Her car was rounding the bend of their driveway, when she saw the front door open. From the rearview mirror she saw Killian standing in the doorway. He was dressed only in his boxers. She forced herself to look away and at the driveway in front of her. The fact that he was able to ignore everything else, to pretend that all of the other reasons she'd filed for the divorce were not even there was the reason she left the papers for him. She refused to live in the same cycle for the rest of her life.

If he refused to put their relationship first, to put her first, to recognize that they had even one problem in their marriage, then divorce was her only option.

She may love him, she would always love him, but she was couldn't live that way any longer.

Thank you for reading and please leave a review if you fell up to it!