"You know, we haven't talked about your mom recently," Sam said running his fingers over my bare shoulder. After I had my meltdown, he found the best way to comfort me was getting naked and having sex. As funny as it was, I guess it did help. It was the best cure to my sadness because it brought us closer. He showed me love and I knew he would be the one person out of everything to never leave me.

"There isn't much to say anymore," I said blankly as we lay together.

"I think there is," he pushed gently. Craning my neck, I gazed into his dark brown orbs. They were honest and true, showing nothing but love and interest.

"You know," I said now turning in his arms, "we haven't talked about your mom at all."

"Bella," he said, thinking I was trying to avoid the topic.

"Honestly Sam, with all of this stuff about me, we never really talked about you. I mean, I met your dad and you told me about what happened to your mom, but I never really got to hear what she was like."

"I want to talk about you first," he told me as he watched me draw little doodles on his bare russet chest.

"I'm okay," I said looking up to him now. Surprisingly, he didn't say anything. Instead he just watched me.

"My mom reminded me of a fierce woman warrior," he told me softly. "She was strong, with long black hair and had the most warm kind eyes I had ever seen."

Snuggling closer to him, I listened as he told me about her. "She was tall like my dad, only maybe a few inches shorter than him. She always dressed in casual clothes, maybe only once of twice did I see her in formal wear," he spoke. "She had this smooth voice that always helped me sleep at night. Her skin was almost the color of mine, maybe even a bit darker."

"How did your parents meet?" I wondered.

"My mom was coming back home, here on La Push land. My father being the young Alpha to step up to his duties imprinted on her," he answered, still rubbing my skin. "He actually kept it a secret, going on the route of falling in love with each other first. Then, he told her and she accepted the fact easily. They were head over heels for each other," he said. "And then they had me."

"She sounds perfect," I said kissing his chest.

"She was pretty close to it," he said kissing my head. "I grew up with all of the tribal stories when she would tell them to me when I went to bed. Every night she would tuck me in and tell me she would always be watching over me. And then one day she was in a car crash. My dad went crazy, almost positively knowing it was a vampire who set it up to make it look like it was an accident. That's when I found out they were true," he spoke.

"You didn't figure it out when you went wolf?" I said looking up surprised.

"Nope," he breathed, pushing some hair out of my face. "But I didn't expect to be the next alpha. My dad had taken the position when their alpha died, and then I became alpha because I was the first to phase. That's why he had to move. It was odd, when I went wolf. We couldn't figure it out because the line carried with Billy Black and his relative family. Somehow things got mixed and two Uley's who were both still alive were alphas."

"You said your dad went crazy when he thought it was vampires that killed your mom," I whispered laying my head back down on him.

"He thought so, but it was just some drunk. He was in prison on another count of drinking and driving a while ago. One of his Pack members brought him down to the station to show the guy wasn't a vampire and that's when my dad realized not everything was supernatural. I mean, plus, it was unreasonable that it was a vampire because they hadn't shown their faces in decades. The only reason my dad turned was because some nomadic vampires had passed by for a few days."

"So their Pack was small?"

He nodded, "There were only three or four guys including my dad. The man who he replaced had died after getting rid of the nomads who passed by. He had chased after them, crossing a few state borders because he was so angered that he and some other people had phased."

"Wow," I breathed. "What happened to all of them? Were they not close with your dad?"

"They were," he said thoughtfully, "but they al had their own lives too. When my mom had me, my dad stopped phasing, passing it down to his buddy and then his buddy ended up not phasing anymore either. That's pretty much what happened with the rest of the guys. None of them phased anymore. Some moved away since the Pack was gone and some hung around here or went to a different tribe like my dad."

"I think I would have loved to have seen little Sam," I smiled. Hearing his soft chuckle, I grinned when his chest rumbled.

"You know Bella," he said in a more serious tone, "my mom's death doesn't upset me so much even though she was mom, because it was a drunk that killed her, and it was only a drunk. She didn't have a supernatural death that made me hate this world. I think if she did, if a vampire had been responsible, I would have been angry like my father, because if she lived anywhere else without knowing what was really out there, it wouldn't have happened to her."

Nodding, I let silence creep over us. My vision of Sam's mom in my head portrayed her as gorgeous, and I knew I was somewhat right. I mean, both her and Joshua had made Sam, and Sam, was matter of factly gorgeous.

"Any more questions?" he wondered, "Because I'm worried about you," he spoke softly. Raising an eyebrow, I held the white sheet to my chest as I sat up on my arm.

"Bells, you were a teen when your mom killed herself. And you found her," he said.

"I know," I said quietly. "But I dealt with it…I did," I said as he gave me a look. "I mean, I came here to run away from it but then things unraveled and came together and my Aunt helped me. So did you- you helped with my nightmares."

His eyes saddened and he reached a hand up to touch my face.

"Honestly, it's getting better. I think I'm more frustrated at myself that I get upset when she is brought up and giving me things like this. But at the same time, it helps me cope even more."

"Why?" he asked suddenly, "why do you beat yourself up for thinking of her?"

I sighed and threw myself on my back towards my side of the bed. "It's hard to explain," I said.

"Try your best," he said now hovering over me.

"Sam," I groaned.

"Come on Bella," he urged. "We aren't pushing away each other or the scary topics anymore right?"

Sighing, I bit my lip and wondered why I even thought of explaining all of this to him.

"Its like I can never escape the memory," I started. "Everything about her now connects back to her suicide, and as much as I want to think of her in different ways, I cant. Phil tried to push the happy Renee at me and as great as it was, it hurt me more because I knew she wasn't like that when I was away and I blame a part of me for that."

He went to speak up, but I silenced him with a finger to his lips. "I'm not wallowing over it or beating myself up for it, I just think that if I didn't go away to college and I stayed closer to her, she would have rethought what she was going to do. In her letter, I can see that it isn't exactly true what I'm thinking, but I still have all of those what if's."

I slid my hand down from his lips and focused my attention elsewhere. "I'm partially ashamed too. She can affect me so much and make me feel such heart wrenching pain when she isn't even here. I spend so much time and effort thinking about all of it and crying my eyes out, when it doesn't even help anyone or do anything. So, like I said, I'm mad at myself for always breaking down. It's stupid to do so."

"Bella," he said making me catch my eyes with his, as he used a sad tone again.

"Sam," I said gently, putting a hand on his cheek, before he could speak, "there isn't anything you can really say to this. I know you want me to know that I didn't play a part in what she did, I understand when you say that, but it doesn't change that sliver of me."

Roaming his eyes over my face, I watched as leaned down and kissed me softly.

"You're going to be okay," he said confidently.

"I know," I breathed, making a small smile appear on my face as he kissed me again.

"Hey Sam," I called coming out of the bathroom the next day.

"Yea?" he asked going around the room packing the rest of our miscellaneous things, as we got ready to leave. Our honeymoon was sadly over but it was probably the best week of my life.

"I was thinking, maybe after finishing this pack I stop taking them," I said with my birth control pills in my hand. My pack of pills I was on was coming to an end. My period was to start soon and after that I needed to use my last pack of my prescription before renewing it again. Glancing up, I saw Sam freeze as he noted what I was holding.

"Are you serious?" he questioned in surprise as he held some clothes of ours in his hands.

"I don't know," I shrugged now biting my lip, "I mean, I know you want to start, and I guess I do too. But it could take a while and I-"

Getting surprised with his big warm body quickly standing in front of me, I let out a small chuckle. The pile of clothes was now back on the floor and I saw our poor little pup walking out from underneath them looking somewhat pissed. Sam had dropped them beside him not even thinking and then rushing over me to give me his full attention. Nervously glancing up to him, I smiled when he cupped my face in his hands.

"You want to try having kids?" he asked me still in disbelief.

"I was thinking it over a few days ago and yea I guess I do. After I finish my last set of birth control maybe we can start trying for real."

The hesitant smile that was on his face spread and grew into a thousand watts. I couldn't believe how happy he was right now and it was all because the thought of having kids.

"It might not really start working for a while Sam. I've been on them for so long, but I mean, we can try," I warned, trying to show him the first time wouldn't exactly be the charm.

"Practice," he said encouragingly, "we practice until it works."

"Until I get pregnant," I laughed, "it's till I get pregnant," I said correcting his words with a small smile of my own.

"Yea," he grinned, tugging me closer and covering my lips with his.

"What happened to wanting to wait for a little while?" Sam asked me about a half hour into our nighttime drive home. "I thought you wanted some time just you and me for a while? You didn't want to start going off protection and stuff for maybe a few months or a year till you were ready. I thought you wanted that newlywed thing," he implied.

"I did," I said weighing my thoughts, "but, I don't know," I said shrugging and biting my lip, "we've kind of done that for the past few years of dating. I'm actually somewhat tired of it." Sam raised an eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes, "not the whole part of being just you and me, but the part where we wait around and go slow in the relationship. We don't really have to do that anymore- I mean, we're married and I feel like it's the right time or something," I confessed but still not able to place my finger on how to express it correctly.

"Are you sure you want to try then?" he asked me. "You seem like you are still unsure."

"Its not like I'm going to go off the pill today Sam," I said with a small chuckle. "I still have a whole new pack to start in a few days, but even with my doubts, I still think I'm ready. Are you?"

"Beyond ready Bella," he said bringing my hand up to kiss.

"Think we'll make good parents?" I wondered as he gently squeezed our looped hands.

"The best," he said with confidence. "Look at you already with Will and Claire. And now Joey, Bella, you're amazing with kids."

"You aren't too bad yourself," I said prospectively. "I've watched you with both Will and Claire too."

"Which is why we are going to be the greatest parents on the whole entire planet," he said kissing my knuckles as he kept his eyes on the road.

I let out a chuckle, not knowing where he got all of his corniness from.

"What about the wolf gene though Bells?" he asked taking his eyes off the road for a quick second to look at me. "We didn't get to talk about it when I brought it up that time."

Biting my lip, I vividly remember that day. I told him that we would deal with it when the time came. Well, the time was coming.

"To be truthful, that day when you asked, I didn't even connect it. I forgot that the wolf gene would be passed down," I said. Squeezing his hand, I gave an encouraging look, "but I guess it doesn't matter to me as much when I think of it overall. Yes, that stupid 50/50 chance thing is going to bother me, but if it happens, our kid will be in good hands and he or she will have to deal with it just like our Pack has done."

"What about imprinting," he said, " I know you have big problems with that and our son or daughter will have that with them if they go wolf," he reminded me.

"I know," I sighed, "but there's nothing we can really do. We can't move anywhere and its not like we can kill every vampire around so our future kid doesn't turn. As much as I hate imprinting sometimes, it led me to you. Plus, Leah and Cole show me, and us both, that you don't need to imprint to be happy. So I find peace with it all in little ways I guess," I said.

"Hopefully, the word 'kid' will become plural," Sam said in a light tone as he analyzed everything I said in such depth and detail n his head. I smiled, laughed and blushed all at the same time. I did say maybe two or three kids when we last talked about it.

"How many kids do you really want?" I wondered now. "When you picture yourself and your future, how many little kids did you see running around in that house of ours?"

"Just us? Like without the Pack's family?" he asked with a glance to me again.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Well, when I picture our future, I see us, in our house or maybe a different one with more bedrooms for our kids. But with that, I always see the Pack and their kids with us too, running around and chumming alongside us. I envision it like we are all one big family- just expanded. Not just us as adults, but kids, babies, toddlers, the elders, our parents and who ever else just being with us," he said with a shrug.

"I like that," I said with a small smile on my face. "You still haven't answered my question though," I reminded him. "How many kids do you really want?"

He took a few seconds to answer, "three, maybe more. I would like to have both a son and a daughter, but even if I were blessed with just sons or daughters I would still be the happiest man alive. A number doesn't really matter to me, a gender either, I just want a happy healthy future with you and my kids, however many we decide to try for."

"Well we can try soon," I said lightly taking a peek to the back seat of our car where our dog was sleeping.

"I can't wait," Sam breathed; lightly grasping my hand through his. Hearing his words made me smile. Secretly, I couldn't wait either- to finally be home, have a family, and run after my future full speed ahead.