A/N: Thank you to the-lady-of-mishaven and zengoalie for being awesome betas. Also, to o-u-a-timer for just simply being an amazing person.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Next one should be up in about a week. I am crazy busy with the start of the school year.

Thank you for all of the favorites, follows, and reviews! They make my day.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own OUaT or its characters.

Ten Years Ago.

Head tilted to the side, Emma Swan stared at herself in the mirror. A slight frown marred her face, her teeth bit her bottom lip. Thanks to Ruby's makeover skills, she looked like a completely different person. Her pale pink dress sat slightly off her shoulders, the fabric hugged her waist tightly before rippling out into a flowing skirt that hit right above her knees. The nude heels gave her legs a shapely look. Her hair fell in soft ringlets down her back. Ruby kept her make-up light, since the rest of the ensemble was such a change for Emma. She looked like a princess. Emma snorted, a hand rose to cover her mouth. A princess getting ready for a date with a guy who thought converses, Transformers shirts, and ripped jeans were appropriate for every occasion.

Killian had asked her out two days ago. A smile came to her lips as she thought about it. They had been friends since meeting during her first day at Storybrooke University three months ago. He was her first real friend here, even before Ruby who ended up being her roommate. When they met up two days ago, they had plans to catch a movie before she joined him at his band's practice. Her joining him at practice had become almost a tradition for them. He'd practice while she studied, it worked for them and let them spend more time together.

On this particular day, Killian had been antsy. He fidgeted through the entire movie, often looking in her direction before he sighed and returned his attention back to the screen. The whole ride to the house he shared with Will, Robin, and Smee was much of the same. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and switched the music a million times. When he missed the turn to his street, she'd finally had enough and asked him what was going on.

He ignored her as he turned the car around and made his way to his house. It irritated her, but she said nothing. She wouldn't push, not when she hated having it done to her. When they finally reached his house, she didn't even wait for him to get her door before exiting the car and meeting him on the driveway. He stood there silent for a moment, hair flopping in the wind. She tried to focus on anything other than his face. She took in his Optimus Prime shirt, his signature ripped jeans and black converses. It hurt that he wouldn't tell her what was bothering him, he was her best friend and she wanted to help.

"Emma." His voice drew her attention back to his face. "Since the day we met, I've wanted nothing more than to be a part of your life. Over the last three months, you have become the most important person to me and I was wondering…" He paused, shifting from one foot to the other. His hand scratched the skin behind his ear. "I was wondering if you would give me the honor of accompanying me on a date?"

It felt like the air was knocked from her lungs. Of all the things she thought he would say, this was the last. Sure, she was attracted to him, but he was her best friend. She didn't want to ruin that.

Her head fell to the side, shaking slightly. "Killian, I don't…"

"I'm just asking for a chance, Swan." His whispered words interrupted.

Her eyes met his and she knew. She knew that she wanted this as much, if not more, than he did. He may be her best friend, but he could be so much more. If only she would let her walls down and allow it to happen. It was time to take that chance.

"Okay." A huge grin overtook her face as he surged forward and pulled her into his arms.

The sound of Ruby entering the dorm pulled Emma from her thoughts. Turning toward her friend, she ran her hand down the dress.

"I don't know, Ruby. Don't you think this is a little too dressed up for a date with Killian." Her hand fiddled with the fabric of the dress.

"No, Emma Swan, I do not and if Killian knows what is good for him, he will show up here in something that is not a t-shirt." Ruby stepped forward and pulled Emma's hands from the fabric. "You look amazing. Thanks to me."

Emma rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at her friend causing Ruby to laugh. A knock on the door drew both of their eyes from each other. He was here, it was time. Emma nodded to herself before walking to the door and opening it.

Her mouth dropped slightly as she took in the sight that was Killian Jones. His dark hair was artistically disheveled, a five o'clock shadow graced his cheeks and chin. He wore a black leather jacket over simple red button up, but the ripped jeans and converses remained. Quite frankly, he looked good enough to eat. His blue eyes met hers and she knew she'd made the right decision.

"You look stunning, Swan." His words pulled her from her ogling.

"You look…" There were no words to describe how hot he looked. The bastard.

"I know." He stepped forward and handed her a single red rose. "Ready to go, love?"

She could only nod to his question, words still escaped her. Taking the rose, she brought it to her nose and inhaled, a coy smile gracing her lips. From behind her, Ruby whistled.

"Wow, Jones, who knew you could clean up so well? Now…" Ruby rested her arm on Emma's shoulder. "I'm going to need you to have my girl back by curfew, am I clear?"

Emma's eyes widened as she stepped out of Ruby's embrace. Really, was she trying to make this awkward. Ruby wasn't her father, she didn't need to play the overprotective dad role.

"Aye." Killian held his hand out for Emma to take, laughing. "Midnight m'lady. Not a moment later. You have my word."

Placing her hand in his, Emma shot her friend an annoyed glare before following Killian down the hall. A moment later, she heard Ruby's voice call from their dorm.

"Have fun, children. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Emma's face turned beet red as she attempted to hide it in Killian's shoulder. She was going to kill Ruby when she got back.

But first, she was going to enjoy her date.

His heart beat rapidly, hands shook at his sides. In front of him, Emma sat at the bench. No, not the bench - their bench, their special place. Her back was to him, which was a good thing because he needed a moment. Okay, he needed several moments. Thankfully, he'd gotten here early.

This was his last chance, he knew that. He didn't want to live without her. He'd had a taste of it these last three months and he wouldn't survive if he had to do it forever. She was his happy ending, his one and only, his everything. He had to at least make an attempt to win her heart back, to make her see that he had changed. His mind went to the phone call he'd made this morning. He hoped it'd be enough.

He'd been so focused since she'd agreed to meet with him, on making sure he would be able to show her that he'd changed, that he was making her a priority. He hadn't realized how much seeing her would hurt him. It was devastating to look at her now, to know that his personal decisions had ripped them apart.

His hand patted the pocket holding the yellow paper. She had lost so much. No, they had lost so much because it was them. He could never have a child with another woman, couldn't imagine having a family with anyone other than Emma. Even if things didn't work out the way he'd hoped they would, this wouldn't change his mind. Emma was his family and now he would never have the pleasure of holding their child - a child that was half him and half Emma. A child with her eyes and his hair or, maybe, his eyes and her hair. Having a child was a dream they'd always shared and now, now it was gone and there was nothing he could do to restore it. There was nothing he could do to fix the hole in his heart, just as there was nothing he could do to fix the one he knew Emma had. Finding the hospital paperwork had been eye-opening for him. Their loss had been unexpected and unfair to the both of them.

From her place at the bench, Emma moved her head from one side to the other, likely looking for him. Even now, she was so unbearably strong. Running a trembling hand through his newly shorter locks, he propelled his body forward until he reached the bench. Her head shifted to meet his gaze.

"Can I sit?" He smiled awkwardly before gesturing to the bench.

Emma shrugged impassively. "It's your meeting." She turned her gaze back to the pond in front of them.

His stomach flopped. Even now, she was so unbearably strong. Stiffly, he sat beside her on the bench. He knew she was in pain and he knew she was trying to hide it. She couldn't hide it from him though. He could feel it, he could see it. Her shoulders were squared as her back straightened. She wasn't even leaning on the back of the bench. Her jaw was set as she stared ahead, hands rested in her lap. He let out a shuddered breath. Even her eyes, when she looked at him that brief moment, were hardened to hide what she was feeling.

"Why am I here, Killian?" Her voice was hollow, she was trying to keep all of her emotions in place.

He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms, to comfort her in the only way he knew. He wanted to tell her that it was okay to be angry, to be upset. They'd had something valuable, something precious, stolen from them without cause or warning. He knew there were other options to have a child, to be a father, but the loss of one's own children was… it was something he didn't know if he'd ever really recover from. Yes, he understood her pain because he felt it too.

His hand rose to scratch the skin behind his ear. He needed to focus, to answer her question. They could talk about their loss if he was able to convince her to give him another chance, if he was able to convince her to take him back. "Erm, well, when you left the other morning you said nothing had changed. That I hadn't changed."

She took a deep breath and exhaled. "Because it hadn't, you hadn't."

He nodded silently to himself. She was right, of course. He'd made a right mess of things that morning, he knew he had. He'd deluded himself into assuming that everything was fixed, that they could just go back to the way things were before. Bloody hell, he'd suggested they try to have a baby. He remembered her uncertain look after he'd made the suggestion, a look he'd taken to mean that she wanted to wait until she'd adjusted to being with him again. He ran his hand through his hair.

But there was one thing she was wrong about...he had changed. Finding out why she'd left, what they'd lost, had ensured that. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the now familiar yellow paper, unfolding it on his lap.

"I wanted to meet with you to tell you that you were right." He could see her body flinch at his words, but he didn't stop. "You were right about everything." She inhaled sharply. "I hadn't changed, but now I have and it's because of this." He shook the paper in his hand gently. Her head whipped to meet his gaze before falling to the paper in his hand.

Her eyes darted back to his and he knew that she knew what he was holding. Her mouth fell open slightly. "How...how did you find that?"

He shrugged his shoulders, keeping his eyes on her. "I was looking for the photo you keep on the table. When I couldn't find it I looked in the drawer. This was on top."

He watched as she closed her eyes, face crumpling. Again, he resisted the urge to pull her to him because he didn't know how she would respond. Instead, he reached out and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. When she didn't shy away, he rejoiced.

"I'm so sorry, love. I should have been there. I should have known something was amiss when you called that day." She opened her eyes to meet his and his heart twisted at the pain he found reflecting back at him. "I've been a fool, a bloody moron. You went through this completely alone because I was too much of an arse to see that you needed me."

Emma swiped her eyes and glared at him. "I'm a big girl, Killian. I don't need a knight in Transformers shirts to save me."

He couldn't help the corner of his mouth from lifting slightly. It didn't surprise him that she was trying to play it off like it was nothing. It was what she always did when she was trying to be strong. She just needed to realize that she didn't need to be strong around him anymore, that he was going to support her through this if she would let him. They could heal, together.

"No you don't, love, but I still should have been there to hold you, to grieve with you…"

"Grieve?" She interrupted, eyes softening.

"Aye. Grieve. This may come as a shock to you, Emma, but I am anguished by the loss, too. Having a family was a dream we both shared, one that is now gone." He shut his eyes, jaw clenching. "And it's my fault." He whispered hoarsely.

Suddenly, he was wrapped in her arms. Her hands fisting the material of the back of his shirt. For one brief moment he allowed himself to savor the feeling and then she was gone, sitting back next to him, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"It's not your fault, Killian." She tried to sooth him, but he shook his head.

"It is, love. I may not be responsible for what happened medically, but I am responsible for not being there, for you feeling like you couldn't come to me. You felt like that because I never listened to you and I should've. I should have listened to you all those times you told me you missed me, all those times you told me you wanted me home. I should have made you a priority, Emma." Her eyes widened again, this time in shock. "I've left you alone for the past three years, but it stops now. You are the most important person in my life and I am willing to do whatever I need to do to make you realize that."

Reaching out, he pulled her hands into his. He hoped he was making himself clear to her. He wanted to fix this, fix them, if she would let him.

Her face shifted from shock to uncertainty, eyebrows furrowed as she tried to make sense of what he'd told her. He didn't want her to overanalyze what he was saying and how she felt about it. He needed her to believe him, to understand that he knew he messed up, that this was his fault. Her mouth opened to speak, but he continued before she could utter a word.

"This situation we are in is my fault, Emma. My fault for ignoring you, for placing my band ahead of your needs. You needed a husband and that is not what I have been. I would understand if you still what a divorce, if you still want to leave me. I know I deserve at least that much and if that is what you want I will give it to you. I just…" Releasing one of her hands he ran it through his hair nervously.

This was it. This was his ace in the hole. If what he was getting ready to tell her didn't convince her how sorry he was, how much he loved her...he didn't know what would. Her eyes gazed at him steadily, imploring him to continue. He felt his palms begin to sweat, heart thumpling in his chest. Please, let her forgive me.

"Before you decide what to do, I need to tell you something. Can you allow me that? Will you listen?" He begged.

"Yes." Her voice was low, but strong. She wanted to hear what he had to say. Just that simple fact, gave him the strength to continue.

"I spent all last night and this morning on the phone with the band and Malcolm. First, we fired Malcolm. The man might be good at what he does, but he has no regard for the actual members of the band, his plan with Tink proved that." He squeezed her hand when he noticed her smile.

"We hired a woman named Regina Mills to manage us. Her and Robin hit it off really well. I am going to finish writing the album from home, so I can be close to you. So we can work on us." Doubt clouded her eyes, but he wouldn't let that stop him.

"Once the album is done, and there is no deadline thanks to Ms. Mills, I am going to book us into a small recording studio here in Storybrooke. Robin, Will, and Smee are going to come stay in Storybrooke for a couple of months, until recording is over." Lifting a hand, he cupped her cheek before continuing.

"Once all of that is complete, I am taking a break from the band. Indefinitely."

Her mouth dropped open as she inhaled sharply.

She thought agreeing to come here was a mistake, a lapse in judgement, a moment of weakness that she should've ignored. She was confident, her mind made up, coming to meet him was just a formality to get him to finally sign the papers. She couldn't have been more wrong...about everything. Here she was sitting on their bench in the park, questioning every decision she had made over the last two days, hell over the last three months.

He knew about what they'd lost, about why she left, about all of the problems in their marriage. He knew and he still wanted to fix their problems, he still wanted her. He'd apologized. He said he should've been there for her, should've made her and their relationship a priority.

I'm taking a break from the band. Indefinitely.

Her heart skipped a beat as she gasped. Those words were everything she'd wanted to hear, everything she'd hoped for. For years she'd tried to make him see that things were off, but she knew her attempts could have been better. She should've tried harder to make him realize she was unhappy, to see that they had problems. Maybe if she had tried they wouldn't be in this position. Now that he was here holding one of her hands in his, gazing at her intensely with eyes full of hope and longing, she found that she didn't care about what had happened in the past. Reaching up, she placed her free hand over his on her cheek and leaned into his touch. It was real and that terrified her.

She felt the anxiety creeping into her chest causing her breath to quicken. It was too much, he was giving up too much to be with her. She wasn't worth it. She couldn't even give him a family, she couldn't give him anything. Her lips curled into a sad smile. He deserved so much more than her.

"Killian, I can't ask you to give up your career, your dream, for me. That's not fair to you, especially when there is so much I will never be able to give you now." Her hand moved from her cheek to rest across her incision.

"Don't you get it, love? None of that matters unless I have you at my side. You. are. everything. I. could. ever. want." He punctuated every word with a squeeze of their still intertwined hands.

"What about children? You wanted them as much as I did. I can't give you that. I can't give you a child that is part of both of us." Looking down, she shook her head dejectedly.

Killian moved his head to meet her gaze. "Emma, I don't want to be a father if I can't raise the child with you. I didn't want any family, I wanted a family with you. You are the deciding factor, love. Besides, we both know there are other options out there if being a mother is something you really want. How lovely would it be to adopt a child and give them the life you never had?"

Her eyes widened. Adoption was something she'd thought about in the abstract before she lost the ability to have her own children. She'd always wanted to adopt at least one child after she'd had one of her own. The loss of her own children had distracted her from that hope, but he was right… it was something to consider.

"You… you would be okay with that? With never having a child that was part you?" She wanted to believe what he was saying, but they had never really talked about if adoption was something he would think about.

"Aye, love. I would be okay with anything that would make you happy..." He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

She closed her eyes gently, contemplating what he was telling her. He wanted her, broken and all. It didn't matter that she couldn't give him a family. He wanted to try and fix things. He said it was his fault, but he was wrong. It was hers, too. He may have created the problem, but she was the one who let it get out of hand, the one who refused to talk to him.

"Please, Emma." She heard his ragged whisper. "We can go to counseling and work on our problems. We can fix this."

Could they fix it? Would counseling help them? She honestly didn't know. She still loved him, that, at least, had never changed. She thought about the last ten years they had spent together, the last eight as a married couple. They had been happy once. They'd had everything they'd ever wanted in each other. She thought about the last three years. The pain and the heartache that accompanied those years, but there were happy moments. Moments that she didn't want to forget. In the end, their life together had been worth it. It had been perfect.

Opening her eyes, she met his gaze head on. His eyes, which were normally full of laughter and cheerfulness, were full of agony and longing. She watched as his lips curled into a hopeful half-smile.

"I'm just asking for a chance, love. I chance to fix what I broke." His voice broke at the end of his words, tears prickled the corner of his eyes.

Just like the first time she'd heard those words, just like the last time, she knew what she wanted to do. There was never really any other choice, not when it came to the love of your life.

He watched as her features shifted from shock to uncertainty. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear while wringing her hands. Gently, she shook her head. He knew she was trying to gather her thoughts, trying to make the right the decision.

He held his breath as he waited for her answer. Time moved slowly for him, seconds feeling like minutes. There was nothing else he could say, nothing he could do, if she decided to walk away now. He'd laid his heart on the line and now he had to wait. He could hear nothing save his heart beating rapidly in his chest, his ears pounded from the intensity. Finally, a small compassionate smile appeared on her lips.

"I love you, Killian Jones." She murmured softly. "I was wrong to leave, wrong to keep you in the dark about what happened but, maybe you're right. Maybe if we go to counseling, if we try to work on our issues together… I think we can fix this. I love you and that is reason enough to try."

All of the tension left his body as relief washed over him. It was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, a weight that had been there for months. Surging forward, he pulled Emma into his chest. Closing his eyes, a light sigh escaped as he breathed in her scent. His hand moved to cradle her head. The tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes trickled down his cheeks.

He had hoped she would agree, but a part of him didn't think it was possible. Not after everything she'd went through, not after everything he'd done, and not when they'd lost so much. Hearing her say she loved him, hearing her agree to try… his heart swelled in his chest. He'd once thought of her as home and here on this bench in the middle of a park, his arms wrapped around her, he knew it was true. His home was wherever she was and he was a bloody fool for letting her slip away.

He felt her body tremble ever so softly in his arms, he pulled back and lifted her chin so he could see her face. Her cheeks were streaked with tears. Resting his forehead on hers, he used both hands to cup her cheeks.

"You won't regret this Emma. We can fix this, I know we can. We can be happy again." Using his thumb, he wiped some tears from her eyes.

"I know." The corner of her mouth lifted in a gentle smile, her tone confident.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to her forehead and pulled back to look into her eyes. "I think… I think it would be best for you to stay at Ruby's. At least, until we are in a better place. I don't want to rush this, love. I want to do it right."

"I think that is a wonderful idea." She nodded her head in agreement. "I'll make an appointment with a counselor for sometime this week, if that is okay?" She turned her body from his and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Aye. Name the time and place and I will be there, love." His arm fell across her shoulders as he leaned his head a top of hers. "Would you like to take a stroll around the park, love?

She shook her head into his shoulder. "No… can we...can we just sit awhile. I've missed the feeling of being in your arms."

A grin formed at her words, heart skipping a beat. "Aye, love. There is nowhere I'd rather be." His free hand reached over to clasp hers. "Nowhere in this world."

Right now, he wanted nothing more than to hold her. He missed the feeling of her in his arms, too. Missed the simplicity of just being the two of them, of just being Killian and Emma. He'd let his fame turn him into a different person, a person far removed from the man he once was. Reclaiming his relationship with Emma was like reclaiming part of himself. He felt more like the old him with every passing moment and he owed that to Emma.

A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets.

Those words had never meant more to him than they did now. He'd fought tooth and nail to have Emma back in his arms, back in his life, and it was worth it.

Just as she was.

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave me a review if you are up to it!