As always huge thanks to my beta team of the-lady-of-misthaven and zengoalie and to o-u-a-timer for all that she has done to help with this fic.
Well, here it is... the captain swan date. This might be the fluffiest chapter of the entire fic. Also, there are no therapy session in this chapter because I wanted to focus on their date (but let it be known, they are still attending those weekly).
Thank you all so much for your kind words regarding this fic. This fic has been difficult to write at times and my family has often found me crying over my keyboard, but it has totally been worth it because of all of your kind words. We still have a couple of chapters to go (two more real chapters and an epilogue).
P.S. Lenfaz... I apologize in advance for this chapter. You will know why. :-P
DISCLAIMER: I do not own OUAT or its characters.
Eight Years Ago.
His hand combed through his hair as he paced the length of the room. His heart beat rapidly in his chest causing his hands to tremble nervously. His fingers curled up to pull on the sleeves of his jacket. He shook his head, his tie felt too tight. Why had Robin insisted he wear one? He hated these bloody things. He hadn't worn one since Liam… No. He wasn't not going to think about his brother, not today. But the tie needed to go, he'd had enough of it. His hand came up and yanked the thing loose before pulling it over his head and undoing the top two buttons. Much better. It felt like he could finally breathe.
He shifted from foot to foot in the middle of the room. Bloody hell. What time was it? It felt like he'd been locked in the room for ages. He glanced at the old analog clock on the wall.
1:50 pm.
Ten minutes. He had ten minutes until his life changed forever, until his life changed for the better. His lips curled into a smile. He'd been looking forward to this day for months, years really but that was neither here nor there, and now that it was finally here… he couldn't be more scared.
In ten minutes he was going to marry the love of his life, he was going to marry Emma Swan. They had decided on a small ceremony on the beach with only their closest friends in attendance. They both had no family to speak of so that hadn't really been a concern for either of them. Ruby was to act as her maid of honor and Will his best man. It was simple. It was everything either of them could ever want.
The problem was… He should be excited, he should be overjoyed. But all he could think about was Emma changing her mind. What if she wanted to wait? What if she decided that she didn't want to spend her life with him? He didn't think he would survive if that were to happen. It didn't help that he hadn't seen her since Ruby had driven off with her yesterday morning. His hands itched to run through her hair, to hold her to his body as they slept, to cup her cheeks while he leaned in to kiss her.
Ruby had suggested they do things the traditional way and, of course, Emma had thought it was a bloody marvelous idea. He rolled his eyes. They had been sharing an apartment for nearing a year, but she wanted to be traditional because they were getting married and he couldn't deny her anything.
When he'd agreed he'd forgotten about the 'can't see the bride the day of the wedding' tradition. Which meant he was now going on close to twenty four hours since seeing his lass. He'd finally had about enough of it and was almost out of the door before Will had pulled him back and locked him in. He huffed in exasperation. He just wanted to see her, he just wanted to….A knock interrupted his thoughts and he rolled his eyes before walking over to the door.
"Oi! Scarlet… Don't tell me the lost the bloody key, mate! You locked the door from the outside! If I'm late to me own wedding…"
"Killian?" Her soft voice floated through the door, ending his rant.
"Emma." He exhaled her name in relief as he leaned his forehead to rest on the door. She was here, she hadn't changed her mind. "I can't open the door, love. Scarlet...he locked…."
"I know. I heard him bragging to Ruby before I snuck away." He heard her giggle on the other side of the door and his stomach flip flopped at the sound. "I missed you last night."
A smile formed. "I missed you too, love. I don't like sleeping without you."
"Don't worry. After tonight you won't have to ever again. Any second thoughts?"
He shook his head against the door. "Not a single one, love. You?"
"Just that we didn't run off and elope. Could've saved us a lot of trouble." Another giggle.
"And miss seeing you in what I am sure is a very fetching dress...not a chance, love." Now, it was his turn to laugh.
"Yeah, yeah. Oh! I hear Will coming! I have to go! I'll see you in five minutes. I'll be the one in white. I love you." Her words were rushed as she tried to escape.
"I love you, too." He whispered back, hoping she was still there to hear it.
He stayed in that position, her laughter echoing in his head like his own personal mantra, until he heard the key jingle in the lock. Stepping back, he allowed Will to enter the room. Hearing Emma's voice had calmed him in a way nothing else would, in a way that nothing else could.
"You ready to get hitched, Jones?" Will shoved his shoulder lightly.
"Aye. More than ready mate." He smiled and nodded.
He was marrying Emma Swan. He'd been ready for this since the day he found her lost on campus, since the day she agreed to go out with him, since the day she moved in, and definitely since the day she'd said 'yes.'
"Well. Let's go get ya a wife then and maybe ya can help me with the Lucas girl, eh?" Will's eyes lit up as his eyebrows bounced on his face.
"You're on your own with Ruby, mate. That one is… well, she's something else and her Granny? Good luck!" He shook his head, lightly patted his mate on the back, and moved toward the door as Will followed.
"I can handle her, Jones. Ladies love me." Will said once he caught up to Killian.
Killian pinched the bridge of his nose. It really didn't matter to him what, or who, Will did. As long as he was married to Emma at the end of the day.
But, perhaps he should have chosen Robin as the best man…
Scratching his neck, Killian stared at the three button-up shirts laying on his bed. He was terrible at this. He prefered the casual look of jeans and a t-shirt, they were comfortable and easy. Dressing up was something he tried to avoid at all costs. Even when he had to attend an award show, Malcolm normally hired someone to dress him. The last time he'd picked his own suit had been at his wedding and that was eight years ago.
Sighing, he grabbed the red shirt off the bed. His eyes landed on the black tie he'd laid next to the shirt. He hated ties. So much so that he never wore them, not even to award shows. His eyes narrowed at the offensive object. This was a date with Emma, the one that she asked him on, the one that signified a new beginning for their marriage. He closed his eyes. Emma deserved better than a casually dressed date. He wanted to show her that he was taking this seriously, that the meaning of this date was not lost on him. Stalking forward, he swiped the tie off the bed.
He dressed quickly. Black slacks accompanied the shirt and tie. He even passed on his signature converses in favor of a nice pair of dress shoes, but he refused to budge on the leather jacket. Besides, maybe Emma would get cold and be in need of it… she'd always said how much she loved it.
Ten minutes later, he was in the car. He stopped at the local florist, Emma loved buttercups, before making his way to Ruby and Emma's apartment. Once there, he eased the car into a space, grabbed the flowers, and made his way to their apartment door.
Arriving at the door, he shifted from one foot to the other. His fist rose to knock before pausing and falling back to his side. He took a deep breath. This was it. Beyond this door was his wife and, hopefully, his future. He'd waited weeks for this night, weeks of assuring Emma that he had changed, that he was going to put her above everything.
Hearing her utter those words last night, hearing her ask him on a date had been… Well, he'd been surprised, surprised and honored. They had come so far in the short time they had been going to therapy, in the short time since they had started to really try to fix the issues between them. To know that she trusted him, that she wanted to give him this chance… yes, honored is what he definitely felt.
And now he was here, standing outside her door, and his palms were sweating. He knew he had no reason to be nervous, no reason to be scared, but he was. He loved Emma with every fiber of his being and the thought of messing this up was too great. He needed her to see how much she meant to him, how much he wanted her in his life, so this night had to go perfect, it had to be perfect.
He took a deep, calming breath and released it slowly. He needed to stop thinking so much, stop worrying about all of the ways the date could go wrong. At the end of the day it was just him and Emma, him and his wife, and everything would be fine. They both had stated numerous times that they wanted to fix their marriage and would do anything within their power to do so, there was no way one date could potentially mess that up.
He knocked on the door quickly and moved to stand back from it. Not even a second later, the door opened to reveal Emma and his breath caught in his throat. His eyes widened in awe, mouth hung agape.
She was dressed in a simple black sleeveless leather dress that hit just above her knees. Her shoes were red pumps that did marvelous things to her shapely legs. Her blonde locks fell over her shoulders in small curls. She's kept her make-up simple, light with only a touch of color on her porcelain skin. She wore no jewelry save the diamond earrings he'd gotten her for their first wedding anniversary - he ignored the pang in his heart when he thought about her wedding ring currently resting on his nightstand, this was supposed to be a happy moment after all. The look was completed with a long red peacoat. Her color choices were not lost on Killian as he glanced at his own clothing quickly. Simply put, she looked beautiful...like a modern day princess.
"You… you look stunning, love." He shook his head in disbelief.
She smiled coquettishly. "Thank you and you look… is that a tie, Killian?" She breathed out in shock.
He bit his lip while scratching his neck. "Aye." His murmur was soft, unsure.
She stepped into his space, eyes still on the tie, and his body hummed in anticipation. Her fingers traced the length of the tie on his chest before she shifted her concerned gaze to meet his.
"You didn't have to wear a tie." It was a simple statement, but it spoke volumes.
She knew what ties meant to him, she knew why he hated wearing them, why he avoided them as much as he could. His hand rose to capture the one she still had brushing against his chest.
"I did, love." He whispered.
She smiled lightly and rose up, placing a kiss on his cheek. Then, she freed her hand from his and pulled gently on the tie around his neck.
His brows knitted. "Emma, what are…"
"Shh." She shook her head silencing him. Her hands moved quickly and the tie was removed seconds later, then she unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. "There." She patted his chest affectionately and his heart skipped a beat. "I appreciate the gesture, but it is unnecessary."
The need to kiss her was overwhelming. This woman who knew him better than he knew himself, this woman who he'd almost lost because of his own stupid actions, this woman who had lost so much and was still willing to give him a chance… he shifted forward, tilting his head toward her. She responded in turn until there were only centimeters between their lips. Both of their eyes closed…
"Don't you clean up nicely, Jones." Ruby's voice rang out from behind Emma and he jumped back from his wife, startled.
Disappointment filled his chest and, with one quick glance to Emma shoving the tie in her coat pocket and shifting back and forth, he could tell she felt the same. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.
"Ruby." He nodded in her direction.
"Jones." She smirked. "Do I have to tell you to have her back at a decent hour?"
Next to him, he saw Emma roll her eyes. "Ruby. I am standing right here. Do I need to remind you that I am an adult and can take care of myself?" She moved to stand next to him, her hand finding his as soon as she was able. "Are you ready?" She looked at him expectantly and he nodded. "Good! Bye, Ruby!" She pulled him away from the apartment door.
Behind him he heard Ruby laugh and shout out "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" before shutting the door, returning to the apartment.
He was struck by how similar this situation was to their first date. Him picking up Emma, Ruby teasing them… it was all very reminiscent. He smiled as Emma continued to pull him toward his car. He hoped this date was just as good, if not better, than their first one.
He'd made reservations at Disalvo's, the finest Italian restaurant Storybrooke had to offer, for eight o'clock so they were shown to their booth as soon as they arrived. It was a great booth, private, in the back of the restaurant so he could avoid being spotted. It wasn't often that the paparazzi showed up in Storybrooke, but he especially did not want them to ruin this night.
Walking Emma to the booth, he made sure she was comfortable before motioning to the waiter to bring their best bottle of wine. He took his seat across from her and was surprised when she reached out and intertwined their hands. When he met her eyes, she smiled shyly in response and his chest filled with warmth while he looked down to the menu.
"Thank you." Her voice pulled him from the menu to meet her eyes.
"What's that, love?" He squeezed her hand.
"Thank you for this, for tonight. It's beautiful." Her eyes were full of raw honesty.
"Only the best for you, my love." She nodded before returning her gaze to the menu.
When their waiter returned with the wine they both ordered their dinners, shrimp scampi for him and chicken parmesan for her.
He was struck by how at ease she seemed. It was like something in her had shifted after her session yesterday afternoon, after she'd broke down. She seemed more comfortable in her skin, more comfortable with him. He could see it in the way she sat and the way she smiled. It was present in the way her thumb softly ran back and forth on his own. He didn't know why, or how, she had made the change… but he was thankful for it.
"You seem happier, darling." He pulled her other hand into his.
"Do I?" She questioned.
"Aye. There is this air about you that wasn't there yesterday. It's… refreshing to see you at ease." His lips lifted slightly.
"It's because of you. You realize that, right?" She squeezed his hands again. "Over the last several weeks. you've proven to me that you have changed and I can't help but feel better because of it."
He closed his eyes and remembered the day she walked out on him for a second time, remembered her words. You haven't changed. It was such a relief to see how far they'd come, how far he'd come. It wasn't just him, though. It was the both of them, together, that had gotten this far.
"No, love." He lifted a hand to his lips. "It wasn't me. It was us. It's always been us. The thought of losing you, of spending the rest of my life without you was too much. I will forever be grateful that you gave me another chance. That you gave us another chance."
He could see her cheeks reddening at his words and he had the sudden urge to be close to her, to not have the table separating them. He released her hands quickly and motioned for her to shift in the booth so he could sit next to her before reaching for his glass of wine and placing it in front of him. From this angle, no one in the restaurant could see them as they were hidden by the height of the boothback. Once settled, she surprised him again by lifting his arm to wrap around her shoulders so she could cuddle into his side. Her head rested comfortably onto his shoulder before she let out a content by her antics, he laughed lightly.
"Comfortable, love?" He murmured the question into her ear and ignored her body shivering in response.
"Yes." She answered simply. "I feel at home with you."
His heart beat increased at her honesty. Her actions and words kept surprising him, but he wasn't going to complain. He liked knowing how she felt, what she thought. He liked this comfortableness that had formed between them. He liked that she trusted him.
"Then, you will never have to be without them." She pulled back to meet his eyes and his stomach twisted at the unleashed tears in hers. For a moment he'd thought he'd done something wrong, that he'd done something to upset her. Maybe it was too much, too soon. Maybe...
"Promise?" She interrupted, her voice wavered in question.
His shoulders sagged in relief. He tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Promise."
She smiled, a small smile that reassured him, before settling back against his side.
"Tell me about your new song?" She requested.
"Which one, love?" His hand played with the ends of her hair.
"The one you've been working on with Robin. The last one for this album." He closed his eyes. That song was different from the others, it was more.
"It's a love song." He murmured deeply and kissed her hair. "About a man desperate for a second chance."
"Does he get one?" She wrapped her free arm around his waist and he knew they were no longer talking about the song.
"Aye." He smiled into her hair. "I think he does."
The sand shifted in his toes as he wiggled them. A cool breeze ruffled his hair and he ran his hand through it in an attempt to control it. He could taste the salt in the air. In front of him, Emma sat in-between his spread legs leaning against his chest, his arms wrapped around her middle, her head under his chin. Her breathing, like his, was easy and he felt relaxed. His fingers lightly traced circles onto her arms, a small sigh escaped her and his heart filled with contentment. The woman he loved, the woman he'd almost lost, was safe and in his arms.
The rest of their meal had been much of the same, both of them simply enjoying the other's company. After, they decided that a walk on the beach was in order. They'd walked for awhile before finding a secluded spot to sit and watch as the waves rolled in gently. The night was peaceful, it was easy, it was everything he'd hoped it would be.
"I don't want to go home." She whispered into the wind and snuggled further into his chest.
His heart expanded as he buried his nose in her hair. He would love nothing more than to bring her to his house, to their house, and spend the rest of the night in her arms, but he knew where that would lead...and they weren't ready for that. What was it that Dr. Hopper kept drilling into them? Ah, yes… You have to walk before you can run.
"We can stay here for as long as you like, my love." He sighed into her hair.
"Killian." She whined and twisted her head to look at him, her eyes silently begging him.
"Emma." He kissed her forehead. "You know I could never deny you anything, but you're not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. We both have this tendency to give in when things are good, and they are right now, but we still have a long way to go. Let me court you, love. Let me show you that you made the right decision in giving me a second chance." He tucked a wayward lock behind her ear. "We've a ways to go, love. There is still a great deal of healing we both need to do, but we'll get there. In time."
Her mouth formed a thin line as she contemplated his words. He looked out to the sea and his stomach twisted. He hoped he didn't upset her, that was not his intention and he didn't want to put a damper on an otherwise perfect evening. Meeting her eyes, he watched her lips form a small smile.
"You're right. I just… This night has been so perfect and last night, too. It reminds me of when we were first married, of when we were a team, before you'd forgotten me." Her last words were whispered lightly and her eyes widened when she'd realized what she'd said.
His heart lurched in his chest. He knew he'd never really forgotten her, but that was how she felt. He'd spent so much time away from her, away from home, that she'd felt abandoned and that was his fault.
"I'll not leave you again, Emma. Never. I'm afraid you are stuck with me." He reassured her, leaning his forehead against hers. "We can take things slow because I am not going anywhere." He answered her unspoken fears.
"Killian…" Her shoulders fell. "You still have obligations. You still have your band, and touring, and…"
"Hey." He put a finger over her lips stopping her. "You let me worry about those things. I'm not leaving you again, love. Whatever I have to do to ensure that...well, that is what I'll do."
"But, Killian, I can't ask you to…"
"You're not asking me to." He interrupted her again. She was worried about him giving up his dreams, but she didn't realize that none of his dreams mattered if she wasn't beside him. "I haven't decided anything, yet. I just know what I want, who I want, and the rest will fall into place eventually. You need to focus on getting better, on healing, and when the time comes to make a decision about our future and how my career affects it...we will decide what is best together, as a team."
She blinked and nodded her head in understanding. One of her hands moved to cup his cheek and he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes. Her lips touched his gently and he felt like his blood was on fire. He could talk all he wanted about waiting, about taking it slow, but at the end of the day this woman was his wife and he missed her. His hand moved to tangle in her hair as she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. One of her hands pressed itself against his chest. The hand that was not in her hair moved to caress her throat. She tasted like the wine they'd had at dinner and he couldn't get enough.
When she pulled away, he opened his eyes and realized she'd turned her entire body to face him. Her forehead rested against his and he tried to control his breathing.
"Okay." She murmured while holding his gaze. For a moment he was confused by her words. Then, he remembered what they were talking about before the kiss. "I trust that you know what is best for you."
He grinned as she turned and settled back into his embrace, his arms wrapping around her once more. It was getting late, but he didn't want the night to end. He wasn't ready to let her go just yet. The wind picked up and her hair tickled his nose. He moved his head and buried it into her neck, breathing her in. His eyes closed as she intertwined on of their hands.
No, he wasn't ready to take her home just yet. In front of him, she sighed contently and his heart expanded.
He wanted this moment to last forever.
Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a review if you feel up to it. :)