Something Stupid

"So…has this ever happened before?"

Jiraiya glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, "As far as I'm aware it hasn't."

Harumi – a fitting name, he thought - sighed and nodded her head, " I feared as much."

He twisted a blade of grass between his fingers and asked her something that he'd been wondering for a little while, " Am I right in assuming, then, that this hasn't happened to anyone of uhhh…"

A strained smile, he would later categorize it as cynical and bitter, appeared on her face. It was very different from the wobbly smile she'd shown him some ten minutes ago. It was sharper, that's what it was. She wasn't looking at him though, rather at the leaf that been blow to her.

"Of my kind?" He nodded. "No, not officially."

"And unofficially?"

"Unofficially there are stories that something like this can occur – has occurred, even. Some are more believable than others, but in the end they are just that; stories. To bend time and space is only possible in the realm of gods and imagination, but I suppose I, too, now walk there."

Her eyes were still looking at the leaf, and boy was it an intense look, but he had the feeling that Harumi was staring at something that was much farther away than that. "Lost like a leaf adrift in the wind," she turned those eyes on him, those almond eyes, and asked, " Can you perhaps show me the way back home?"

Jiraiya met them and said, " I don't know, but I can try. Is it on a map?"

She turned her eyes back onto that leaf, " Yes, but not any that your village possesses. "

Well, it wasn't accurate, but it was something. She was not from the elemental nations or, at least, not from a part that could easily be found on a map. He knew, for example, that the home of the monkeys was in the elemental nations but that only the Sarutobi knew how to get there. This was probably something similar.

He was about to ask what the place was called when she spoke; "You summoned me though, right?"

"Yes."

"Can't you, you know, unsummon me?"

"You mean reverse summon?"

"Yes, that. Whatever. Can you or can you not?"

He stared at her like she'd grown two heads. "I just accidentally summoned you. Doesn't that tell you something?"

She paused, opened her mouth and promptly shut it again. "….You make a good point."

He felt kind of smug until he realized that that was kind of a backhanded compliment. Besides, wasn't she the summon here. Shouldn't she like know this summoning stuff inside out, even if it were just stories?

" Wait, can't you just do it yourself?"

She gave him a deadpan look, "Would I still be here if I could?"

"….No."

"Exactly."

Neither spoke for a few moments, both lost in thought. Harumi shifted, and twisted at her shirt. Another few minutes passed before he heard her huff. Then a not so indiscreet cough. He looked at her.

A blush graced her cheeks as she said, "I don't know if you noticed but I'm here in a shirt and my underwear. It's rather chilly."

At that blunt reminder, the red unmentionables very viewable to him, his face became heated as well. A lecherous grin appeared.

"Right, underwear."

She pulled down her shirt over them, her eyes once again narrowed. "Yes, Jiraiya, underwear. If I'm going to have to stay here, at least for a while, I'll do so comfortably."

"Looks very comfortable to me."

"And socially acceptable."

"You sure Harumi?" He waggled his eyebrows.

She glared, "Very sure. Now wipe that stupid grin off of your face and get me something warmer or I swear to god I'll kick you in the nuts!"

Ahh, the beautiful and familiar sound of feminine fury.

They walked across the field and came to the red bridge that connected training ground 3 to the rest of Konoha. Harumi stopped when she stood on it, and seemed to be fighting something within herself.

Emotions too rampant for his meager training passed through her eyes, until she finally continued forwards. Once she hit the opposite banks he heard her whisper, but what she actually said was lost to him. He didn't pry.

It was as the woods started thinning that he saw her getting more nervous and nervous with each step she took until she stopped. She crossed her arms, "I refuse to go any further in my current state of dress."

"Well be that as may, standing here won't help you any in regard to getting more socially acceptable clothes."

She nodded, "Exactly. That's why I'll stay put, and you'll go get them for me."

He blinked. Did he just hear that correctly? "You want me to what?"

"Get me clothes that aren't my sleeping wear whilst I stay put."

He mirrored her, also crossing his arms. "No."

Yes he took some pity on her, but he wasn't about to go gallivanting into a women's clothing store and buy stuff for her. Besides, they wouldn't let him in anyways, one of the shop owners had caught him when he tried to steal some lacey underwear. Multiple times. It's what had inspired him to learn his Transparent Escape Jutsu. And boy was it useful. Very, very useful…

"What do you mean no?"

"Well, unless no has a different meaning where you come from, it means exactly what it means. Besides, why don't you just apply a henge so it looks like you have clothes on?"

She stared at him as if he'd just proposed she should instead run naked through the streets. Oh that'd be a view… He shook the nice image away as he had apparently broken his summon.

Harumi was looking at her hands like she'd never seen them before. Her eyebrows were creased in confusion, showcasing the red mark on her forehead where she'd banged her head. She was also biting her lower lip in as if she wasn't sure she liked the pair of hands she'd been given.

Finally she seemed to come to the decision when she slightly nodded and balled them into fists. With uncertainty written plainly across her features she proceeded to very slowly, with meticulous care, she make the hand signs required for the henge.

She held her fingers in the ram position even if she herself was shaking. She had her eyes tightly shut, like the younger kids at the academy do. The air around her legs shimmered a dark blue just a second before it faded away.

Dark eyes opened in shock, and he heard her gasp. Harumi sank to her knees, hands out on the ground in front of her. Her breathing was rapid, and when he rushed over and put his hand on her back he felt the rapid beat of her heart.

"Are you alright?"

Off course she wasn't, she was having a panic attack and a bad one at that. As per usual when one has a panic attack she didn't respond, just kept hyper ventilating. Hyper ventilating was bad as it made people– Harumi slumped down onto the road – faint.

Well, wasn't this just peachy. He had an unconscious, scantily dressed foreigner on his hands. A foreigner he'd summoned. One who was, apparently, prone to panic attacks when doing jutsu.

Just wonderful!

Softly Jiraiya put Harumi on his bed. He walked into the small bathroom that he had and looked into the mirror.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

A valid question as he really had no idea. He'd debated about going to the hospital only to shoot that particular option down rather swiftly; he'd have to explain her presence as well as the situation. He didn't want to, not like that anyway.

The next logical step had been Tsunade, but Harumi's clothes, or rather lack thereof, made that option very unfavorable. Not mention that that would generate even more questions so that, too, had become a no. Therefore the only place left was his home; his small, humble apartment.

He'd then had to think about how the hell he was going to go about that, because taking a knocked out, pajama-wearing girl to your apartment totally didn't raise red flags. In the end it'd actually been rather simple.

He'd put a genjutsu over her and himself that'd made it look like he was carrying a new rug – which, he did indeed needed to buy, now that he thought about it. It had gone off without a hitch.

He'd been able to run at top speed, so he'd made it back home in record time. Really, Harumi was very light and easy to carry. It had actually kind of surprised him, seeing as she was a few years older than him. It also kind of made him feel like he was in a fairy tale, the gallant prince saving the princess. The fact that he also got a few nice looks down into her shirt totally made it worth it.

"Something stupid that's what you're doing. So you got her here, now what?"

Another good question. He knew that eventually he had to tell people about his little accident, but he didn't want to. Not yet. He wanted to try and fix it himself first. Sure, it might be stupid to go it alone but this was his own mess. His alone, and therefore it was his responsibility. Plus the possibility of a contract was always still up in the air.

Besides, he'd promised her he'd try and get her home – he knew what it felt like to lose it. He wasn't about to let her lose hers forever. Not on his account he wasn't.

Confident dark eyes met his visage, "Now we do whatever we can to get ourselves a loyal summon."

AN: Hey folks, here's another short installment. Anyhow, I was wondering if for the next chapter I should do it from Harumi's point of view or keep it all in Jiraiya's? Also if I do go for the alternating POV's; does it matter if this is done in a pattern (for example, 2 chapters Jiraiya, 2 chapters Harumi) or just random?

Let me know what you guys think!

Cheers,

Ray the Red