Hiding My Masked Affection

spockjasperzukowriting

All standard disclaimers apply: I do not own A: TLA or anything associated with it.

This chapter is dedicated to: LaBelled'Italie, EmpressVicky, Densharr, Glasswater, , AnnaAza, mrsharrypotter, InItToWinIt, Muted Trumpet, zutarababe, gh0stwriter, Kafira Dalia, Astrophsysics Rock, ArrayePl, lazyguy90, Pirate Ninjas Of The Abyss, and rock n elemental.

7

The next morning, I was surprised with a bundle of blue Forget-Me-Nots sitting on the floor of the balcony. They were healthy, well-attended to, and matched the color of my eyes perfectly. I picked them up, stroking the soft, delicate petals in joy. There was no note attached on the silk ribbon wrapped around the lime-green stems, so I was momentarily at loss for who had given them to me.

But when I gazed out into the rising sun, I couldn't but remember what had happened last night, and I blushed. I could only imagine Sokka's reaction if he found out that I had been touched by another male, even if it wasn't as intimate like he would automatically assume.

I clutched the Forget-Me-Nots to my chest and remembered the Blue Spirit's promise to come back tonight. When should I expect him? My mind was filled with questions that I could not answer. I wondered if it was really a good idea to keep him from whatever duties he had, and if I was being too clingy. But if I was going to stay in the Fire Nation, I had to have a reason to stay, even if it was having company every night from a stranger.

I still moved around stiffly, but I managed to fill my stomach with the breakfast left for me at the bedside. I was thankful that a basin of hot water had been filled up and left for me against the wall that my bags were lined up on. I washed myself, being conscious of my wounds, and tidied up to make myself look less unfortunate, braiding my hair with the addition of my hair loopies. I dressed up in my normal Water Tribe clothing for the sake of normality, and was about to begin unpacking my bags when someone knocked on my door.

I sighed, dusting off my hands, putting a warm smile on my face, and I opened the door to reveal Aang rocking back and forth on his heals nervously. He looked at me with loose intensity, clasping his hands together behind his back. "You're looking better," he commented, still looking fearful and guilty.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, confused by his appearance.

"Well, Hakoda has been very odd lately, and Suiya has been at the Royal Palace, trying to get a conference with the Fire Lord about what happened to you. Sokka's locked himself in his room and won't come out, and you've recently been attacked by the Fire Nation's biggest problem right now. Other than that, every thing's fine," he summarized, still trembling. "Not to mention that I've been kinda sorta really worried about you."

I bit my lip, feeling a little ashamed that I made Aang say all of those things. "Of course. I'm sorry for asking you," I replied, forcing myself to not look at the floor. "I guess I should go speak to Sokka and try to work things out with him. And I should speak with dad, and..." I paused, revelation dawning on me. "I think I should talk with everyone, in that case."

"I need to speak with you, as well," Aang injected, his expression turning a little frantic and desperate.

I put my hands on his shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze and saying, "Aang, relax. You're really not being yourself. Have you eaten breakfast? Or maybe we should go talk in the garden."

Aang's ears and cheeks tinged with pink, his shoulders tensing up. "I'm fine, Katara. I just need to talk to you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, okay. What is it?"

He massaged the back of his neck gingerly, looking unsure of where to start. "Would you sit down? I- I have a lot to say."

I furrowed my eyebrows, but walked back towards my bed and sat down. I watched Aang cautiously as he paced around the room, wringing his wrists in anxiety. "Katara," he began, ending his pacing for a few moments to give me a heartfelt look. "I haven't seen you in years. The way I left you was unfair of me, and I'm sorry. But the world changed me, and I have changed my view on the world. I am starting to read into people deeper, taking in all the little signs that I would've dismissed before I had met you. Soon, it seemed like everything mattered. And everything stills matters. Just because I ended the war, doesn't mean that everyone loves me for it. The Azkai are an example of this. Everytime I showed my face in public, there was always joy and unrest in people's expressions. I thought that peace would solve all of the problems."

He gulped. "In my first few months here, when I was walking through the streets at night to admire the gardens, I was jumped by a group of men dressed in black with a Fire Lily insignia on their arms. They tried to kill me, but I... I fought them off using the Avatar state." He shut his eyes and turned away from me, hunching his shoulders and clenching his fists.

"They kept on finding ways to attack me. Once they poisoned my food at a ceremonial festival. They tried kidnapping Appa to use him as leverage. One night they even gave me this scar." He pulled his sleeve up to reveal a white, jagged line running across his forearm and extending in many directions. The scar broke his blue tattoo in many places, almost as if the skin had been burned off.

I covered my mouth in horror. Could that have happened to me if the Blue Spirit hadn't come?

Aang's arm quivered as his expression became enraged. The vein in his neck bulged and sweat lined his forehead. "Lightening is far more dangerous when uncontrolled than I am in the Avatar State. Their leader, Sury, has the ability to wield it, but not keep it at her command. She managed to get the information out of me that night of when you and Sokka were coming. She knew that Hakoda had children and had remarried, so she put two and two together so effortlessly she hardly had to do anything at all. All she had to do was throw lightening at my arm and beat me nearly unconscious to get what she wanted." My mind felt leaden at the mention of Sury. Hadn't one of the males called the female by that name? My stomach twisted uncomfortably.

His entire body was shaking now, and the flames inside the oil lamps brightened as his anger deepened. "It's my fault they knew where to find you. It's my fault that they attacked you."

"No it isn't Aang," I defended, still sickened a little from his terrible story. "They made you tell them."

"I could've resisted!" he retorted.

"But they're really powerful!"

"That's the point!" Aang clarified darkly, turning to face me fully. "You are not an Avatar, or a master waterbender. In fact, I know that you have just started your training very recently. There was no way that you could've fought them off single-handedly. Even I can't fight them off alone. And they wouldn't have left you beaten up as a warning. They never make warnings. They make statements. How did you escape?"

Any answers I had been forming piled up in my throat at his last sentence. Should I tell Aang about the Blue Spirit? Could I tell Aang about our moments together? I shut my eyes. I wasn't ready to answer any questions about that night. Even if the Blue Spirit had become a new friend as a result of the events that had passed, I was still attacked, paralysed, alone and scared and cold... I didn't want to talk about what had happened. The fear was something I hadn't experienced in the same intensity since my mother was murdered.

"Katara," he growled. "Answer me!"

I looked down at my lap, trying to think of a response. Was the Blue Spirit a normal occurrence around here? I couldn't be so sure. So I decided to re-route Aang away from the subject.

"Aang, you need to calm down," I said, looking him in the eye.

"How could I be calm when I know that you are keeping something from me!" he screamed. "What did they do to you! How did you get away! Why are you hiding something from me!"

I flinched, my eyes moistening and burning with pressure. More screaming. Only this time, it came from Aang. I clenched my knees and tried to remain strong. "Aang, please stop yelling," I begged, stiffening my posture.

"Katara!" he wailed, falling to his knees and bending over, tears falling down his cheeks. He put both balled fists on the floor, refusing to meet my gaze. I rushed over and sat down beside him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

"Aang, it's okay," I whispered, pulling him close to me. "We're safe here."

He whimpered, pushing me away and standing up. "No, it's not okay. The Azkai will be coming back, I have no way of protecting you, and I don't even know how you got away in the first place!" He buried his face in his hands, struggling to stand straight.

I bit my lip, pondering on how much to tell him. "Aang, I-"

"No!" he snapped, biting back his pain and glowering at me in betrayal. "Just...never mind! I don't want to know if you aren't going to tell me. I mean, why would you tell me anything! You've been keeping secrets since I've met you!"

"Well so have you!" I cried back, finally losing my cool. I stood up, glaring at him and squaring my shoulders. "You kept the Azkai a secret! You kept your past with them a secret! I don't even know everything you did while I was left in the South Pole! And stop bullying me around just because you think this is all your fault!"

Aang trembled, hiding back against the wall as I stood my ground.

I squeezed my eyes shut and turned away, crossing my arms in the process. "Just, please leave me alone before we both lose it again."

Aang gulped. "Katara..."

"Just get out," I pleaded through my teeth. "Leave me now."

My hair caught in a sharp gust of wind and the door slammed shut. I could no longer feel Aang's presence behind me, and the room felt eerily empty. I opened my eyes and stared at the floor, trying to figure out how to clean up the mess Sokka and I were creating here.

And to do that, I needed to get one of my biggest problems out of the way: My brother.

I turned around and stormed up towards the door, my mind hellbent on the mission at hand. I flung the door open and started down the hallway, knowing that I didn't have a clue where Sokka's room was, or even where he was. But any of the servants randomly scuttling about had to have an idea.

I walked through many hallways, each looking the same, before I finally found a petite lady dusting and straightening wall hangings with brisk movements.

"Excuse me!" I called, closing the distance between us by sprinting. She jumped and ended her work, bowing down before me with a scared look.

"Lady Katara," she managed, cowering below me. "What do you require of me?"

My expression softened at her fright. "Stop bowing. I'm not that important. And I need to know where my brothers room is. I can't navigate this house to save my life."

She looked stunned, but slowly uncurled her posture and shrank back modestly. "I apologize for my actions, Lady-"

"Just Katara," I corrected, annoyed that she would so easily see me as superior to her. Nobody should have to be owned by another person, and I certainly didn't hold more authority than this person. We were all equals.

"Katara," she tested the name on her tongue, as if it was foreign to her to call anyone by a simple title. "Follow me."

I stumbled slightly to catch up with her as she led me across the main stairwell and down a dark corridor. The house was strangely empty except for the occasional maid or butler that cleaned the floor or carried various objects, slumping under the weight. Through the silence I found time to compare the way the servants carried themselves to the stances of the Blue Spirit, as to maybe find out what his role was in this society. I knew that the Blue Spirit walked in a dignified manner, as if he held a lot of authority. These servants were bent towards the ground with trembling fingers. Though they differed in tone, their senses and awareness of the world around them was very much the same. Both looked around for danger, ready to flinch away at the right moment. The Blue Spirit held power, but expected trouble from any disturbance around him. Even if it was just following my lead through the garden's path.

Yue, what does that mean? I asked, unsure of what my discovery meant, or what I should make of it.

"Lady- I mean, Katara," the servant announced, correcting herself in the middle. "Your brothers room is at the end of the hallway. I must attend to my duties." She bowed to me again, placing her hands together in a weird symbol across her chest. I assumed it must have been Fire Nation custom, so I mimicked her movements and bowed back to her.

"Thank you," I replied warmly, offering a smile. She kept her eyes down and retraced her steps away from me. I sighed, looking down towards the end of the hallway to see a arched blue doorway with the white imprint of a full moon. Sokka.

I walked hurriedly up to the door, flexing my fingers. I contemplated whether or not I should knock, and what I should even say to him. I hadn't seen him since yesterday, and he might still be angry. I wasn't looking forward to any of the screaming that would most likely ensue. I felt hollow and I suddenly wanted nothing but the calming quiet of the Blue Spirit at my side.

My actions laden with dread, I raised my fist and rapped lightly on the door. I waited several beats for an answer, and when I received none, I turned away and strutted down the hallway, lamenting my cowardice but trying to fix it with excuses.

"He was probably sleeping... He wouldn't want to talk to me, anyhow. I mean, it would just go bad," I promised under my breath. I groaned and stopped, peering back over my shoulder for a last glance at Sokka's door. It looked so lonely in the dimly-lit hallway, and I could just imagine so clearly my hormonal brother balled up on his bed denying the company he knew he craved.

"You've got to be kidding me," I hissed through my teeth and stomped back towards the door, knocking on the thick wood harder this time.

"Sokka!" I called, knocking again. "Open up!"

I heard a familiar grunt come from behind the door. "Go away Suiya!"

I gasped, offended. "It's Katara, dummy! How could you not know your own sisters voice!"

There was a pause, followed my muffled footsteps, and the door opened to reveal my older brother.

My eyes widened in shock: How could it be possible that he should look worse than he had the last time I had seen him? The inky black circles beneath his eyes were now nearly a bruised black, and his skin was paler than before. He hair was sticking up in so many directions, and his clothes were wrinkled and worn. He was slouched out of exhaustion, and his eyes were blood-shot and lined with pink.

"Sokka, what happened to you?" I gasped.

He put whatever strength he still had left into a glare aimed at me. He roughly picked up my hands with trembling, weak fingers and shoved them at my face.

"This happened to me," he growled.

I yanked my hands out of his grip and glowered at him. "Sokka, I need to talk to you without any yelling," I stated, crossing my arms. "This brooding-angry-teenage-boy act needs to end."

He twitched. "Do you not care at all that you got attacked?"

"I care, but what I care even more about is that fact that you are making everyone's lives miserable because of it!" I caught myself and took a deep breath, starting again with a softer volume. "Your behavior is really making me angry because your being selfish. You didn't even stop to let me explain what actually happened that night. Before you start making any rebuttals, hear me out just this once."

His eyes softened, his posture loosening. He scowled. "Fine. Get in here."

He stumbled back into his room, lacking any particular grace he had when not tired. His room was beautiful, with many hours of thought put into the design. His walls were a bright blue, perfectly matching the skies of home. Icebergs were painted into the wallpaper, with little animals poking their heads out of the waters and from behind icicles. One of the icebergs was glowing and spherical, with the faint shape of a cross-legged boy and a sky-bison curled around him. His room had many windows lining the far side, and his bed was made out of ivory colored bones with Water Tribe ornaments dangling off of it. The lights of the room were dimmed, only patchy sunlight acting a guide for my feet. His sheets were ruffled and his belongings were untouched in their bags in the corner. The carpet was thick and soft, and I found it weird to sink slightly with each step I took.

He laid down on his back when he reached his bed, staring up at the ceiling with an unimpressed expression and crossed arms.

"So," he said curtly. "What do you want to lecture me about today? How I'm overreacting, and how is it that you dying isn't such a bad thing after all? Because honestly, I can't stand you sometimes either."

"Sokka-"

"I mean, seriously, you can be a pain in the rear too. What do you think it's like, being an older brother? It sucks! Because every time you get even a scratch I can't help but feel like I've failed mom!"

I raised my eyebrows. "So this is about you, not me?"

He grunted and rolled over.

I sat down at the edge of his bed, folding my hands in my lap. "Sokka, since you are so prone to interrupting me, just tell me what you are feeling."

He tightened his body closer together, running his hands through his hair. "Why would you even care? You never listen."

"I'm listening now."

He growled angrily. "I don't feel like talking."

I snorted. "You're always talking, even sometimes to yourself. Why the change of heart now?" I sighed, turning away and looking at the floor. "The lack of communication got us into this mess anyway."

"That's a new excuse," he injected mordantly.

I ignored his comment continued. "I mean, we hadn't spoken to dad in years and he suddenly tells us that he has gotten remarried, without even telling us to whom, and then we had no clue that Aang would be here, and then we had no idea what the Azkai were or even that they were after me. This whole event was poorly planned."

He snorted, but to me it sounded more like a choked sob. "How could we start over after what happened?"

I looked at him, smiling understandingly. He was sitting up now, staring at me with wide, desperate blue eyes.

"We did it after mom died. In the time of our lives that we had completely lost hope, we somehow stood up again."

Sokka shook his head. "No, Katara, we haven't. I haven't. The pain just lessened; it never went away."

"And the same thing will happen with this," I assured. His eyes twinkled with a spark of hope. "We will never forget this, but we will learn to deal with it." I reached out for a hug, beaming softly. "And we can start now."

I was startled slightly as he rushed into my arms, burying me in his familiar embrace. I smiled as he rested his head in the crook of my neck. He clung onto my tightly, almost like a child that hadn't gotten the affection it had needed for so long.

"I love, Katara," he whimpered brokenly. "I'll work on this with you, I promise. I'll make things better."

Words Gran-Gran had told me resurfaced in my mind, taking me back years ago to the Arctic tundra.

"Gran-Gran?" I asked as she kneeled down in front of a wounded penguin-otter. She studied the beast with a motherly eye and rubbed its belly, being careful not to touch the punctured area over its ribs.

"Yes, Katara?" she asked.

"Aren't you going to kill it?" I questioned, eyeing the dagger strapped around her waist.

She shook her head, digging deep in the pouch attached to her sash. She pulled out some ointment and dabbed it gently over the animals wound, not reacting when it cried out in pain.

"Death isn't the only option when dealing with pain," she replied, holding the beast still as the yellow liquid seeped into the blood-stained injury.

"But your hurting it!" I cried, covering my mouth in horror.

She shook head. "The pain is brief." And like magic, the penguin-otter calmed down, grunting a contented noise of relief.

"Whoa," I gasped, my eyes widening in shock.

She nodded, patting the penguin on the back. It stumbled up to its feet and hobbled away clumsily, still being mindful of its injury.

"Sometimes," she said as she watched it disappear into the icy landscape, "you just need to take out the thorn."

A/N: So, that was a successful chapter. I hope that it worked for you guys and wasn't too boring. I'm fearful that this is starting to just drabble on and on. Okay, I pinky-promise more action and Zuko-ness in the next chapter. :) Also, I'm becoming interested in what this story would be represented as art-wise. For all those artists out there, it would love it if you made a banner for this story. :D Now, REVIEW!